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How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety
How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives | Zachary Auburn
21 posts | 9 read | 11 to read
The cats of America are under siege! Long gone are the good old days when a cats biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms? and What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence? and especially Why does my cat need to use the internet? Cant he just play with yarn like cats used to do? Our countryand our catsstand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our catsand Americagreat again! From the Trade Paperback edition.
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MrBook
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2/3 A friend sent this to me. I replied. “I don‘t even wanna know.” 😻😻😻 😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 😹#LitsyHumor😹

OrangeMooseReads That book is hilarious 4y
Librariana These are necessary conversations! 😜😆😁 4y
ReadingRover I have this book. It‘s got quite a right wing agenda to it 😆. Cyclops did not appreciate some of its extreme views. He takes a more lackadaisical approach to life. 😼 4y
RiverKScottWrites Is this real???? 😂 4y
JulietReads The cat is looking at you like, "Are you serious?" 4y
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review
alisiakae
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Panpan

This parody of Christian conservative beliefs was funny in small doses but pretty terrible overall.

It had a few LoL moments, so counting it for #Booked2020 #makesyouLOL. I wouldn‘t mind seeing the same type of book done for left-leaning thinking; I‘m not averse to self-parody!

#HelloKitty wasn‘t impressed. #catsoflitsy

#BookSpin is complete for March! On to #doublespin.

Susanita Whenever I talk to my cat about anything, I figure I probably sound to him like the teacher on Peanuts. 4y
alisiakae @Susanita 🤣🤣 4y
Vee_Bookish Your cat looks like my cat 😍 4y
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Patchshank I read that book awhile ago. I remember finding it funny, but there's nothing really memorable about it. I do remember there was a long list of their other books in the back. I would be surprised if there wasn't one that made fun of the left. 4y
TheAromaofBooks Glad you were able to get some laughs out of it!! 4y
alisiakae @Patchshank It became very repetitive. @TheAromaofBooks Thanks! It‘s now in my neighborhood Free Little Library. I‘m sure it will garner a few 2nd glances. 🤣 4y
TheAromaofBooks haha yes I can see this has a title that makes people do a doubletake!! 4y
82 likes7 comments
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alisiakae
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TW for sacrilege. ☺️

From the evolution chapter of tagged book. 😹😹

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alisiakae
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Required reading before becoming a pet parent. 😉 I needed this dose of satirical humor this week!

Some gems from the Gun Safety chapter:
🐈 What type of guns are appropriate for cats? All except the ones equipped with laser scope.
🐈 How do cats fit into the defense of America? Utilizing the millions of cats already in feral militias.
🐈 Ammunition? Wrapping your cat in ammo will help ensure they‘re ready for trouble wherever they go.

wanderinglynn 🤣🤣🤣 4y
vivastory This post makes me think of 4y
Karisa 😹😹😹 4y
90 likes3 comments
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alisiakae
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My #MarchTBR!

Tagged book is for #bookspin, Requiem is my #double spin.

The 3 Folk of the Air books are my goal for the #MarchUnshelfing readathon this week.

Still waiting on a Murakami book to come in from the library for #authoramonth. Some #BBRC #booked2020 and #readingacrosseurope2020 mixed in too!

MaleficentBookDragon 😹 😻 😹OMG! I HAVE to get this book. 😻 4y
LibrarianRyan 👍 😁 4y
alisiakae @MaleficentBookDragon I have a feeling I will be posting a lot of quotes when I read it! 4y
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inthegreensandblues I'm reading Career of Evil right now. 🖤 4y
alisiakae @inthegreensandblues how do you like it? My favorite in the series so far is the 2nd one. 4y
inthegreensandblues @4thhouseontheleft I'm enthralled! 23% into the ebook. Multiple nasty potential villains and red herrings. 4y
Clwojick The Perfect Nanny has been on my shelf forever! And I don‘t know why I haven‘t read it yet. Everytime a Readathon comes up, I say I‘m going to read it and then I pick up something else instead 🙈😅 4y
HannaPolkadots Excited to hear your thoughts on The Perfect Nanny 🤩 4y
TheAromaofBooks I keep meaning to read that Holly Black series! 4y
alisiakae @Clwojick That‘s my France pick for #ReadingAcrossEurope2020! 4y
alisiakae @TheAromaofBooks I‘m almost done the first book and it is so good! 4y
108 likes1 stack add11 comments
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alisiakae
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1. A great pick me up book for when world news gets you down.
2. Gorgeous weather the whole week made for lots of outdoor time.
3. Mediterranean
4. 🙎🏻‍♀️🙎🏼‍♀️🙎🏻‍♂️🙎🏻‍♂️
5. 💜💜💜

#friYayintro

MelissaSue81 Yes, I think I need this book.
5y
57 likes1 comment
review
Patchshank
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Pickpick

From one crazy cat lady to another. I got this from my sister for Christmas. Very funny. Patches learned so much.

Soubhiville Hahaha! Welcome to Litsy! I hope you‘ll love it! You and your kitties should fit right in! 5y
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BookNerd9906 🤣🤣🤣 Love it! Welcome to Litsy. 5y
Patchshank Thank you all for your warm welcome. I'm pretty excited to have found litsy. 5y
Purrfectpages Welcome to Litsy! 5y
TK-421 Welcome to Litsy! 5y
Chelleo Welcome 🤗 5y
Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks Welcome to Litsy!! 5y
CoffeeNBooks Welcome to Litsy! Gorgeous cat! 5y
DebinHawaii Welcome to Litsy!! 🎉📚🎉Hope you are enjoying it here! 😻 5y
Nute Welcome to Litsy! It‘s a warm and friendly community. I know that you will enjoy yourself here. I‘m looking forward to getting to know you.🙂 5y
51 likes12 comments
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Whimsical.Curiosity
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Random finds in random bookstores. Happy Monday!

#gunsafety #kittens #educateyourcats #catsoflitsy

Burghbookaddict 😂😂 I need this bc sometimes I think my cats are definitely doing coke. Especially when they tear through my house at top speed at 2am. 6y
Whimsical.Curiosity @BurghBookAddict 🤣🤣 so true!! It's like a Nascar kitty race for no reason! 6y
Ms_T That‘s.....different 😂 6y
zzz Hilarious 🤣🤣 6y
115 likes3 stack adds4 comments
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alisiakae
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#makemereadit @TheReadingMermaid

Ok, Littens, help me plan my August TBR & make some headway on #MountTBR - vote for what I should read next month!

You can vote for more than 1. I‘ll list them all below in case one isn‘t clear. And I‘ll re-run this a few times this month, so yo can vote more than once 🙂

Please vote, whether you‘re playing along or not. I‘m hoping to read the Top 5 vote getters!

See All 116 Comments
DGRachel Rowling gets my vote! 6y
DivaDiane Definitely 6y
mhillis Hagseed 6y
plaidchuck I would but don't know any of the books :( 6y
Lcsmcat Hagseed and Quiet! 6y
DebbieGrillo Quiet 6y
MeganAnn Because it's also on my TBR I vote for 6y
ReadingEnvy Lab Girl! 6y
Booksblanketsandahotbeverage Roseblood! 🌹 6y
enidkeaner Sister Citizen is pretty fantastic 6y
MissAimz_55 (edited) 6y
Amandajoy I loved this one! 6y
Billypar Lab Girl and Native Son 6y
alisiakae @Billypar Thanks for voting! 6y
Sace I vote for 6y
S3V3N Roseblood 6y
Reviewsbylola Cuckoo‘s calling 6y
BookishGirl06 Quiet 6y
hes7 Hag-Seed!! 6y
alisiakae @MelissaSue81 I‘m so glad at least one person picked that silly little book!! 😹😹😹 6y
juliegumdrop Native Son 6y
118 likes116 comments
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Schlinkles
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Here‘s some bookstore cat cuddles courtesy of Mr. Eliot and Bartleby. #eshaverbookseller

JoScho Man that is cuteness overloaded! 💕 6y
ladym30 They are adorable! 6y
45 likes2 comments
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OrangeMooseReads
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Puberty - apologizes if this offends. I couldn‘t stop laughing 😂😂

StacksNShelves “Purrpose” 😹 6y
the.bookish.valkyrie 😹😹😹🙌🏼 6y
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Bklover 😂😂😂 6y
Lcsmcat 😹😹Iknow someone I must buy this book for! 6y
CoverToCoverGirl 😂😂😂😂😂 ...deep breath... 😂😂😂😂😂😂... deep breath... 😂😂😂😂😂 6y
51 likes7 comments
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OrangeMooseReads
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Time to learn how to talk to kitty about puberty #toughkittytalks

LauraBeth 😹😹 6y
CoverToCoverGirl Please stop ✋ you‘re killing me with these posts! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂......😂😂😂😂😂❤️ 6y
OrangeMooseReads @CoverToCoverGirl you should read the book. I was reading it in public yesterday 6y
JenP 😂 6y
53 likes4 comments
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OrangeMooseReads
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Abstinence is just as important as gun safety. We don‘t need a nation of kitties with these kinds of problems. #toughcattalks

DocBrown 😂 6y
Purrfectpages I love this! 😂 6y
46 likes2 stack adds2 comments
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OrangeMooseReads
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Always bring a back up book. I‘m waiting on my car, I hope it‘s done soon.
I‘ve read/listened to a few too many heavy books in the last week, so time for humor. Although an important topic and discussion to have with your cat(s).

AmyG My cat is a pacifst. ✌🏻 6y
rubyslippersreads 😹😹😹 6y
OrangeMooseReads @AmyG lol 👍🏽 6y
56 likes1 stack add4 comments
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OrangeMooseReads
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OH MY GOSH! @Texreader so generous! I love EVERYTHING. The magnet is fantastic and I know Isabella will appreciate the gun safety 😁 the bath bombs and soap smell AMAZING! I cannot wait to read 'Wolfsangel' and 'Fenrir' they look so good. Everything is great! Thank you so much! And thank you Gloria @BookishMarginalia for taking the time and putting all of this together 👏 so wonderful!

BookishMarginalia Great presents! And you're very welcome! ☺️💜 7y
Texreader ❤️❤️❤️❤️. I've stayed up hoping to see if you liked the surprises. I wanted to add a few books that you didn't have on your list for fun and I hope you like them. I had so much fun putting this package together for you. I hope Izzy is responsible after reading that book!! 7y
OrangeMooseReads @texreader they look so interesting. She will sit with me while I read it to her, it's a little above her reading level 😁 Thank you again. I love it all. (edited) 7y
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CouronneDhiver Woohoo! Love the cat one - how funny 😂 7y
OrangeMooseReads @CouronneDhiver there are some great pictures in it and some "other dangers that threaten their nine lives" lol 7y
TrishB Lovely 💟 7y
52 likes6 comments
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BooksCatsMaine
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Yet another thing I never thought I'd have to worry about. Great.

#littenkitten #naughtycat #holdingmummyhostagefortreats #yumyumorbangbang

OrangeMooseReads Lol 😹 7y
Kitta Yum yum or bang bang! 7y
BooksCatsMaine @LauraJ I had not! I think the vet had that talk with her for us. 7y
27 likes4 comments
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elkeOriginal
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Fritz is not tolerating my attempt to have 'the talk'...

DebinHawaii That looks like denial to me Fritz! 😹👍 7y
Soubhiville Hahahaha! That's great 😼 7y
55 likes2 comments
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keithmalek

Q. What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?

A. A Closer Relationship with God: Cats who practice abstinence are cats who know that on the beach of life, Jesus not only walks by their side in good times but will be there with a cat carrier when things are most difficult.

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CopperfieldsBooks
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Pickpick
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ColleenLindsay
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Mugsy and I are having a serious conversation tonight.

Mimi28 Hilarious!!! 😂😅 7y
ColleenLindsay @Mimi28 Guns + catnip are a bad combination. 7y
LeahBergen Ha!!! 😂😂😂 7y
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Mimi28 I really needed this laugh to not think about the fact that Fox is not showing Family Guy to do commentary about the stupid debate. Or is it even coming on Fox? I don't care. What we REALLY need to be talking to our cats about is what this country is going to turn into if Trump wins. That's a REAL disaster waiting to happen. 7y
rubyslippersreads If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? 😸😸😸 7y
Merethebookgal 😹😹😹 7y
75 likes1 stack add6 comments
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mkl_b
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Important conversations all God fearin' patriots need to have with their kitties
#cat #guns #merica

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