Audition | Litsy

Audition | Katie Kitamura

pan

This book was just too weird, the characters were really unlikable and I still don't understand what happened 🤷🏼‍♀️
But I did have fun with the discussions.
#CampLitsy25
@squirrelbrain @Megabooks @BarbaraBB
#WickedWords #love
@AsYouWish

TheBookHippie I may bail…. It‘s just stupid… 😝🤦🏻‍♀️ 7h

squirrelbrain Yeah, it‘s a weird one! 🤷‍♀️ 5h

21 likes2 comments

cariashley

Audition | Katie Kitamura

so-so

Like many of you, my reaction to this book is mainly “what did I just read?” I appreciate what she‘s trying to do here even while I don‘t follow a lot of it, but overall this was too tedious to be enjoyable. I loved Intimacies so this was a little disappointing.

Reading all the #camplitsy25 comments was super helpful, though! I‘m on a slight delay but trying to read all the books at some point!

BarbaraBB So cool that you follow the CampLitsy reads. Have you read Wild Dark Shore yet? The discussion was awesome too - as is the book! And again, kudos for being able to read at all! 7h

squirrelbrain I‘m glad you found the discussions enlightening! ❤️ 5h

34 likes2 comments

BarbaraJean

Audition | Katie Kitamura

Um… I… hmm. Okay.

I appreciate what the author is doing here, but I didn‘t so much enjoy reading it. I like how the book mirrors the play at the center of the book, but in the end I‘m not satisfied with what she did include (or rather, what she left out). Two contradictory halves that play with the concepts of perception, reality, and performance—and kind of rely on the reader to make meaning of it all—left me frustrated. I read for characters, ⬇

BarbaraJean (Cont‘d - 1/7) …story, and ideas, but also for meaning—and this was interesting but felt hollow (and honestly—a little lazy!). I don‘t regret reading it (partly because it‘s short enough that I read it in two afternoons), and am glad it was part of #CampLitsy25 even if I came to the discussion late due to uncooperative library holds. For me, this is a better book for discussion than enjoyment! Further thoughts under (many) spoiler tags below: ⬇ 7d

BarbaraJean (Cont‘d - 2/7) I read this as the author setting up the play within the narrative as a mirror to the book, especially with that central scene, which the narrator cannot get a hold on. She says: “that scene continued to resist me, it was the one thing I couldn‘t fully parse, and without it I was unable to make sense of the part as a whole.” I felt like this about the book as a whole. The author left out the center that would have allowed ⬇ (edited) 7d

BarbaraJean (Cont‘d - 3/7) …the reader to make sense of the whole. There were a bunch of clues scattered throughout that, to me, indicated that the author intended this close mirroring, leaving the center and the interpretation to the reader. But I feel like it‘s a lazy choice to make on the part of the author: to ask the reader to create the center of the work, which the author herself didn‘t include. In the quote I cited above, the narrator goes on: ⬇ (edited) 7d

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BarbaraJean (Cont‘d - 4/7) “I had begun to wonder if in fact there was some hollowness in the construction of the scene itself. The structure and the narrative of the play demanded that the scene contain a process of transformation, a moment of alchemy and transition, but in truth I couldn‘t find the basis for that metamorphosis in what had been written on the page.” Similarly, I couldn‘t find within the text the basis for a center that would hold together ⬇ (edited) 7d

BarbaraJean (Cont‘d - 5/7) …the two halves.

I was fascinated by several passages in the second half that indicated a dual reality: “…when I looked back on his childhood, he [Xavier] was at once there but also not there.”
“I thought about my relationship with Xavier, when I looked back upon it, my memory was alarmingly inconsistent and full of gaps, so that I could not really say how it had been, at various stages of his life, his childhood and adolescence.”⬇ (edited) 7d

BarbaraJean (Cont‘d - 6/7) But again, the book seemed to lack the transitional piece that would have made sense of that dual reality or provided a frame for the disconnection and contradictory narratives. It seemed the author was relying on the reader to supply that, and while I respect that choice, it felt lazy to me to withhold it, expecting the reader to do the work of making the narrative hang together. ⬇ (edited) 7d

BarbaraJean (Cont‘d - 7/7) To reference a future #CampLitsy25 book, my reaction to this book reminded me of Zelu‘s criticism of her students‘ work in Death of the Author! Now to read part 2 of the Camp Litsy discussion and hear everyone else‘s interpretations of this book…

@squirrelbrain @Megabooks @BarbaraBB 7d

BkClubCare Very nice commentary 👏 7d

BarbaraJean (Cont'd 8/7 😂) And another thing! So many people have talked about an unreliable narrator here... and I disagree. I didn't feel the narrator was unreliable, but I felt that the *author* was unreliable. I think that's why this book was so frustrating to me. 7d

BarbaraJean @BkClubCare Thank you!! I had a lot to say about a short book I didn't really enjoy... 😂 😂 7d

AnnCrystal Thank you for this review, I've read mixed reviews, and I've been wondering about this one. 👏🏼☺️📚💝. 6d

BkClubCare @BarbaraJean - I especially was struck by “better book for discussion than enjoyment”; good thing it was a camp book! 🏕️ 6d

squirrelbrain I agree with @BkClubCare - a perfect description of this book. I enjoyed our discussions far more than the actual book itself! 6d

CarolynM You make some excellent points. I enjoyed it anyway 😊 6d

40 likes14 comments

BarbaraJean

Audition | Katie Kitamura

Late to camp, starting my homework today 🤪 #CampLitsy25

Now if only I could get a skip-the-line copy of Wild Dark Shore…

Megabooks, squirrelbrain, BarbaraBB

BarbaraBB That would be great, WDS is so good! 2w

squirrelbrain That‘s a long line - congrats on skipping! 2w

Megabooks It‘s so frustrating when the library doesn‘t come through at the right time!! Enjoy Audition! 1w

36 likes2 stack adds3 comments

AnneCecilie

Audition | Katie Kitamura

pick

A book of two parts where I loved each part individually. She writes beautifully, but I‘m not sure I understand their connectedness even reading all the comments from the #Camplitsy2025 discussions

I read her previous book and will read more of her in the future

Teresereading Great cover art 2w

squirrelbrain At least you‘re one of the few people who enjoyed it! 2w

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squirrelbrain

Audition | Katie Kitamura

#camplitsy25

It‘s been a perplexing first fortnight at camp, hasn‘t it?!

That new girl, Katie, I think she‘s called, seems to think she‘s an actress and she has all sorts of stories to tell, but she changes her mind every few hours as well! Hopefully we can figure her out between us. 😜

Don‘t forget we‘re only tagging the first question each week, so scroll down for questions 2 and 3.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

Megabooks, BarbaraBB

squirrelbrain @Addison_Reads @AmyG @amiable @BarbaraJean @Bkclubcare @BooksandCoffee4me @Bookbuyingaddict @booknaround @BookwormAHN @Bookwormjillk @Butterfinger @Cariashley @Caroline2 @CarolynM 2w

squirrelbrain @catgusmax @cbee @ChaoticMissAdventures @Chelsea.Poole @Christine @CogsOfEncouragement @Cseydel @Cuilin @Dabbe @Daisey @Debinhawaii @Deblovestoread @DGRachel @ErikasMindfulshelf 2w

squirrelbrain @flaneurette @fredthemoose @Gatheringbooks @gissy @Graciouswarriorprincess @Hooked_on_books @ImperfectCJ @JamieArc @Jas16 2w

See All 64 Comments

squirrelbrain @Jenniferw88 @JenP @Jenreadsalot @Jess @Jhod @JoyBlue @JulesG @julieclair @KarenUK 2w

squirrelbrain @karisa @Kitta @Kristy-K @Kspenmoll @kwmg40 @Larkken @Laughterhp @LeeRHarry @Leniverse @Lesliereadsalot @maggie4483 @maich @Mcctrish @MeganAnn @Merelybookish @Meshell1313 @Monalyisha @Oryx 2w

squirrelbrain @peaknit @peanutnine @Prairiegirl_reading @PuddleJumper @quietjenn @Read4Life @RaeLovesToRead @reggie @rockpools @Roary47 @Ruthiella @Sace @Sapphire @Sarahbarnes @Soubhiville 2w

squirrelbrain @skygoddess1 @Suet624 @Susanita @TheBookHippie @Thekidupstairs @Triplem80 @TrishB @Vonnie862 @Well-ReadNeck @youneverarrived @zuhkeeyah 2w

CarolynM I don‘t have a direct answer to the question, but I thought the passage at the beginning of Part 2 about the transition scene in the play was interesting as a metaphor for changes in our lives. Understanding, even enjoying, the change as it happens sets us up to make the most of the new life. 2w

RaeLovesToRead The book mentions a big scene in the middle of the play that the MC has to nail but struggles with, and that this is a transition between the first and second parts of the story. And structurally it feels like this is deliberately missing / not shown to us! The play she is acting in some ways reflects the actual book. 2w

TrishB I think it‘s reflecting how we all play parts in real life- not just on stage 🤷‍♀️ 2w

TheKidUpstairs Like @TrishB said, there are parallels between the roles played on stage, and the roles we play with different people in our life. In the second half, it felt like MCs various roles were collapsing in on each other. I also felt like comments in the first part about aging and memory and perception r were then reflected in the second part's fever dream - it felt like the nightmare of being thrust on stage, but you don't know the part or the lines... 2w

BkClubCare @RaeLovesToRead EXCELLENT observation 2w

TheKidUpstairs ... she was always trying to catch up to the story she found herself cast in, but was unsure of her role there. 2w

BkClubCare The book uses the play and probably the Shakespeare quote “All life is but a stage” etc as inspiration of the ways to be a mother or NOT be a mother and every day the roles are unpredictable. 2w

RaeLovesToRead @BkClubCare Also observe how I didn't actually answer the question 🤣🤣🤣 2w

mcctrish Now that I read this quote/question again and I think of @Bookwormjillk ‘s dementia idea I think it can refer to what part of it all she remembered and could take with her on the stage each night. The parallel being her real life too. She‘s so unreliable and there is so much underlying in the text I‘m just 🤯 2w

squirrelbrain @CarolynM @RaeLovesToRead @TrishB @TheKidUpstairs - I thought the fact that she had nailed the play in the second half, but then things started to go a bit awry was demonstrating that we can‘t always have it all. 2w

GatheringBooks @RaeLovesToRead everything that you said about the scene MC struggles with & how it is metaphorical of the narrative. Love the question as it captures in essence the strangeness of the book, a strangeness that makes a bit of sense structurally, and the fact that we have an unreliable narrator here who shifted from being a flighty wife to a devoted-yet-hard-to-please mother in the transition phase. A case where story form matches characterization. 2w

AmyG I question if there is a blurred line between the main character‘s acting on stage and living life. Does she live her actual life as if she is on a stage? Does she feel the need to get the “performance” in life correct as she does on the stage. I wonder if she can separate the actress from the person. 2w

AmyG @TheKidUpstairs what you just said….as in the play and in her life she is unsure of her role. In the play, she can‘t quite grasp, or perfect, that one scene. But one cannot live life as if it‘s a scene in a play as life is a “living, changing thing” where a play is the same, over and over. In a play you have an opportunity every night to make it perfect. Life doesn‘t always offer that opportunity. You know what happens in a play…not in life. (edited) 2w

vonnie862 I agree with many of you. The MC is unsure of her role in real life, so her life is a stage. Now, the idea of possible dementia did cross my mind. 2w

kspenmoll I did not pick up on possible dementia but then she could be hallucinating if that is the case in the 2nd half. Agree with all regarding blurting of lines between a role on stage & her actual life- is she always acting? I like @GatheringBooks “ a case where story for matches characterization” Who is she? Does she even know? 2w

BkClubCare @kspenmoll @GatheringBooks - great comments! She does NOT know who or how to be. 2w

Susanita When they were in the elevator together I thought: What if Hana is a serial killer? But that would be a totally different book! 🤣 2w

Deblovestoread Thanks @AmyG. I quickly read the second part last night before bed and my mind went so many places. I think you nailed it. 2w

Meshell1313 Anyone else thinking of this: "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts…” (edited) 2w

Butterfinger @TrishB I had the same thought. There are so many roles I have to play, and each different "audience" has different expectations. Ms. Dayton, Tammy, Tammy Lynn (my parents), and my favorite role - momma. I also find there has to be a transition between each act. It's hard to go straight to mothering from teaching. 2w

Butterfinger @TheKidUpstairs @AmyG I relate to the blurriness as well. Those quick moments of transition can make it seem that you have become insane. I think the dynamics of the small family of 3 changed when the woman arrived. The narrator became an observer, an audience member. She didn't know her role anymore. 2w

ChaoticMissAdventures @TheKidUpstairs I love this look on things. How she is always trying to catch up and figure out her role. The mirroring of herself and her characters self. 2w

ChaoticMissAdventures @RaeLovesToRead I have read and listened to a few of her interviews about this book and I think she would be elated at you not actually answering the question 😂 😂 she very much wanted people to go in for the idea of each part but just enjoy the ride and not find answers. 2w

AmyG To add to what I said….in a play, you have many opportunities to “get it right”. Not so in life. In life, there are no auditions. Definition if audition: an interview for a particular role or job as a singer, actor, dancer, or musician, consisting of a practical demonstration of the candidate's suitability and skill. Did the MC have skill in acting, life or both? Was she suitable to be a Mom or not? (edited) 2w

TheKidUpstairs @ChaoticMissAdventures your right, I think she'd love all the different interpretations people are offering here. It takes all to offer up a story that can be so open to ideas and interpretations and leaves so many questions, but its still so well crafted. I tip my proverbial hat to her! 2w

squirrelbrain I agree with @Deblovestoread - I think you nailed it! @AmyG And I love your take on the title too. 2w

squirrelbrain It‘s interesting that a few Littens thought of dementia, @vonnie862 - it hadn‘t even crossed my mind. 2w

squirrelbrain @Susanita - it might have made for a better book! 🤣 2w

squirrelbrain @Meshell1313 - I hadn‘t thought of that, but really it encapsulates the whole narrative, doesn‘t it? 2w

Maggie4483 @Susanita I had the same thought! Or, that Hana and Xavier were scam artists and this book was going to take a weird, violent turn. 2w

Maggie4483 I definitely agree that the MC is not sure of her place in life. And as a reformed theater kid, I can relate. People are always so surprised when I tell them that I did theater, because I am so shy. But if all my lines and stage directions (and the other characters' reactions) were laid out for me in life, I'd probably be a lot more talkative! 2w

Maggie4483 I think she likely stays in the background until she knows the reaction she will get - like when she intentionally spilled the wine to get out of dinner.
Dementia didn't cross my mind, but mental illness did. Especially the way Tomas was always trying to protect her. Like going along with her delusion was safer than contradicting her. 2w

BookwormAHN I think @RaeLovesToRead called it. In the first half of the book it's mentioned that the playwright doesn't seem to like her character so she drastically changes her and it seems like that's what is going on in the MC's mind. 2w

squirrelbrain @Maggie4483 - yes, it‘s easier to live another life that is written for you, than to live your own life where there is no script. 2w

BarbaraBB I am getting more confused by each answer and I love it. I love your take on the story @RaeLovesToRead and I also think you nailed it @AmyG , explaining the title too. 2w

BarbaraBB @Maggie4483 @vonnie862 @kspenmoll @mcctrish @Bookwormjillk I didn‘t think of dementia when I read it, although aging was definitely a theme, as we concluded last week. So I might have missed the signals. 2w

BarbaraBB @Meshell1313 That‘s a great comparison. She must have thought of Shakespeare while writing this book! 2w

BarbaraBB @Butterfinger @TrishB Her role as a mother felt so unnatural to me. More like acting if you will. I couldn‘t believe she really was Xavier‘s mother 2w

Roary47 I like what @trishB and @TheKidUpstairs said about different roles. Our MC was trying to be a roommate, mom, wife, and owner of her home in the second part. @BkClubCare Your statement reminds me of a movie where we follow the life of the actress with and without being pregnant at a certain point in her life. That reflects what we all saw in each of these parts. @squirrelbrain I agree it does show we can‘t have everything line up perfectly. 2w

Roary47 @Maggie4483 I thought about them being scam artists and thought it would end up with the “parents” getting a new place or moving out and leaving the house to them. I also like how you mention Tomas not contradicting really anyone. Like him giving the two food so they wouldn‘t take over the kitchen. I didn‘t pick up on dementia or mental illness, but after hearing it from everyone I can see it being a possibility. 2w

squirrelbrain @Roary47 - so many roles that we all have to play, and there has to be a few that we‘re not very good at. 2w

Megabooks @RaeLovesToRead @bkclubcare I kind of thought the same thing. I felt like she used the situations in her “real life“ re: Xavier and Tomas to work through the issues she had in the scene. I think that's why she gave Xavier so much credit in the second half. (Hope this makes sense!) 2w

Megabooks @AmyG And does her blurring that line make her “phony“ or disingenuous. Idk why I go there with actors sometimes. Imposter syndrome must feel a bit different in that career!! 2w

Megabooks @Susanita It felt to me that Anna and Hana in each of the halves were almost empty vehicles to drive interaction and conflict between the MC and Xavier. Hana did have that weird quality where it seemed she was haunting the apartment. Creepy! 2w

AmyG @Megabooks Good point. I DID get feeling of disingenuousness about her. She was trying so hard to get it right…all the time. And at the end of part 2…you realize she got none of it right. 2w

MeganAnn @BarbaraBB I also thought her as a mother felt unnatural to me. After the questions about Xavier in the first half, the second half felt like a role she was playing rather than a reality. To mimic the ways she talked about finding the character in the play, she also was trying to find the role of mother. I felt like the entire book was “auditions” if you will — she walked through life like it was one audition after another. 2w

squirrelbrain Good thought about Anna @Megabooks - we‘ve hardly discussed her at all, but there was so much else to chew over! 2w

Suet624 I'm very late to this conversation - had a protest and a town birthday party to go to. I did not get this book at all so I'm taking time trying to understand it through these comments. I'm glad the book was short because it just annoyed me. 2w

Kitta @BarbaraBB @Bookwormjillk @vonnie862 @squirrelbrain The first thing I thought of reading this was dementia tbh. There‘s so many inconsistencies and her reactions don‘t make sense sometimes. What I thought after reading the end, was that the book was Xavier‘s work about his mother‘s failing memory. 2w

Kitta Or maybe the audition is the first half, auditioning for the role of a mother, and the second half is what it would have been like if she hadn‘t had the abortion. Like different realities? I don‘t know. So many layers and so much to think about! 2w

Kitta @Suet624 honestly me too, I didn‘t enjoy this one too much too. The style and unreliable narrator didn‘t appeal to me. I‘m glad it was short. 2w

Suet624 @Kitta my personal opinion: Something about the state of the world is requiring that a book make sense because nothing else around me does. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 2w

BarbaraBB @Suet624 I get that 😳 2w

squirrelbrain @Suet624 @kitta - the comments certainly helped me to understand a bit more! (edited) 2w

Kitta @Suet624 😂 well that‘s true to for me too. I enjoyed our discussion at least even if I didn‘t enjoy reading this. Excited for

Wild Dark Shore

Addison_Reads I'm late to this discussion. I just finished the book yesterday, and like others, I just wasn't a fan of this one. Everyone's thoughts here definitely help me understand a bit more about what may have been happening with the MC, but it still didn't change my opinion about the book. 😁 2w

squirrelbrain 👋 Welcome to camp! @Addison_Reads - I agree, the comments certainly helped but they didn‘t change my mind, either. 2w

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squirrelbrain

Audition | Katie Kitamura

#camplitsy25

What does the author mean by a family being a shared delusion or a mutual construction? Do you agree with this concept?

What did you think of the familial relationships in the two parts - did they differ?

What about the MC‘s husband - what is his role in all of this? And let‘s not forget about Hana - what impact did she have on the story, and on the other characters?

Megabooks, BarbaraBB

RaeLovesToRead Through a shared desire (and a transition scene that takes place off stage) they agree to give it a go as a family through a mutual desire for it to be the truth. They decide to accept Xavier as their son and pretend that this is how it has always been. Obviously this turns out to be harder than expected and eventually the mask slips. 2w

TrishB I thought it was a different reality. As in- this is what it could have been like. 2w

BkClubCare @TrishB - me, too. Part 2 was just another what if strand of reality. Hana was almost a third act (part 3)! 2w

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BkClubCare SO MUCH was going on in this slim book. I loved the writing style, just throwing it out there - maybe I didn‘t “get” or enjoy the story, the craft of telling it is amazing. (edited) 2w

TheKidUpstairs I'm in the "alternate reality"/sliding doors camp with @TrishB and @BkClubCare - I also felt like these "alternate realities" were another metaphor for memory and aging, and that surreal feeling of knowing something's not quite right, but not knowing what. 2w

peaKnit @BkClubCare 100% I didn‘t really get what the author may have meant but the style was good and the story was intriguing despite my own misconceptions. I may need to see sliding doors… (edited) 2w

mcctrish @BkClubCare it is crazy how much is packed into this slim book - I know I missed half of it but I enjoyed it like you 2w

AmyG I, too, thought of it as an alterate reality. And I view this as showing that memory and perception can dictate how a story plays out. In a play, the audience individually percieves what they view and makes judgements based on that. Same with life. Everyone‘s memories and perceptions are different …so the “life play” plays out differently for everyone. 2w

squirrelbrain @mcctrish - I‘m seeing so many things that I missed just from these first few posts and ideas! 2w

Reggie I agree with you @TrishB. I think that‘s why she kept meeting with him. I think she uses her skills as an actress to extrapolate what being a mother could have been like. And she has props from her real life. Like the scarf, and then like Rae mentioned there‘s the scene in the play she struggles with. That‘s used in talking about Xavier. There‘s a rift between them from him growing up but we don‘t know anything about it. 2w

vonnie862 This was weird to me. I kept questioning if he really was her son and, if so, why deny it so much in the first half. 2w

JenReadsAlot @BkClubCare @peaKnit Same! 2w

Reggie And the husband thing I think she made him into this guy to relieve the guilt of her cheating all those times. I know, I know, throw the tomatoes at me. When she says that line about it would be him to be the one that always leave, I was like, the guy who has the this is your baby as a fruit app guy?!!!!!Hana was a cheap device because I think as an insecure woman this actress couldn‘t think of any other way to create drama than to have herself go 2w

Reggie against a younger woman. And that‘s why I felt a little let down in that last quarter. 2w

JamieArc At first I saw it as a Sliding Doors thing (and that‘s one of my fave films from the 90s!). And then I thought of it the other way around- they take him in as their “son,” as if this had been their family all along. And with that, she got to reconstruct her history to be what she wanted, including erasing the affairs. 2w

JamieArc But I kept thinking about “the grass actually isn‘t greener on the other side.” 2w

JamieArc I think this quote speaks really well to the unraveling. Their shared delusion falls apart after Hana arrives and the MC comes home to find them playing their “game,” of which she‘s not a part. 2w

squirrelbrain @reggie - the husband thing was a bit odd. Clearly we were only seeing him from her perspective but she didn‘t seem to like him in either of her ‘lives‘. I‘m also not sure how he advanced the story. And I agree with you about Hana too - rather a cop-out. 2w

The_Book_Ninja @RaeLovesToRead Agreed 2w

Susanita I think @RaeLovesToRead makes a good point. They‘re all pretending to live the life they might have lived if Xavier was really her son. That kinda worked…until it didn‘t. 2w

Meshell1313 I keep asking myself about the role of the husband. Does the story even need him? Why is he participating in her delusions? 2w

Deblovestoread At first it was alternate reality or parallel universe and reading the author‘s interview that @ChaoticMissAdventures posted helped with that a bit. Or maybe the whole second part was a set up and it became Xavier‘s play or maybe it was just weird, messy life. I am all over the place with this one. 2w

Butterfinger I'm thinking of the quote - life imitates art - or vice versa. Why was she so worried about perceptions of age gaps? I read it as the narrator wrote a play - in her reality, the son is leaving, bringing home a girl who might replace her as the son's number one woman, so she uses writing as therapy. The 2 acts are happening at the same time. She wants the admiration of her son back, so she made up a character based on him. 2w

Butterfinger Shared delusion or Mutual construction??? Most families don't want to admit the problems they have. They sweep it under the rug and become offended at the word "dysfunctional." So the narrator and her husband pretend everything is alright when they should all be in therapy. If the narrator is suffering from dementia, the husband and son may construct a reality to keep the narrator calm. Hana could have been a nurse. I don't know what I am saying. 2w

ChaoticMissAdventures @BkClubCare I took the book in 3 parts also. beginning where she meets X, middle different reality where she has always known X, and then the end where the girlfriend comes in and makes thing real weird (I enjoyed it so weird is not derogatory here) 2w

ChaoticMissAdventures @Deblovestoread I am glad the article was helpful to you too! I read a couple this week to really understand the book better. And I think most people are getting what she was trying to do, she was pretty clear she wanted both halves of the book to be mirrors (fun house maybe?) to each other, they were not supposed to flow together. Which I think is interesting and not something we see in traditional writing so can be jarring to many. 2w

ChaoticMissAdventures @JamieArc I really like this idea, of her reconstructing history, that is not a lens I have heard it viewed from. I think that is great way to look at it. She she at first fights to bring him home and then things still go awry. 2w

Ruthiella I am really enjoying the discussion and the different ways of perceiving the novel. It just occurred to me that I might have a completely different take on it if the two parts were reversed in order. 🤯 2w

squirrelbrain @JamieArc - one of my favourite films too! And I always love a ‘sliding doors‘ type narrative, but this one was *too* confusing. 2w

squirrelbrain @ChaoticMissAdventures @Deblovestoread - I read a few interviews with the author too but I found her to be just as opaque in those as she was in the book. 🤷‍♀️ 2w

squirrelbrain @Butterfinger - I get what you‘re saying! 😊 I like the idea that she‘s craving the admiration of her son after he ‘replaced‘ her with someone else. 2w

Maggie4483 I didn't even consider the alternate reality/“Sliding Doors“ possibility. I think I might have enjoyed it more if I had read it from that viewpoint. 😆
I really thought she started pretending that X really was her son, and let the fantasy get away from her until it turned into delusion. X & T both knew she was delusional, and went along with it - T because he didn't want to upset her, and X because it served his needs. (1/2) 2w

Maggie4483 (2/2) I know a lot of you saw the introduction of Hana as a cop out, but I saw her as a necessary foil to break the delusion. Blinded by love, Xavier couldn't help but drop the act, which in turn made the MC realize that things weren't what they seemed.

(I may be completely wrong about all of this - I was pretty confused throughout the whole book). 2w

BookwormAHN I was so confused and thought at first it was an alternative reality thing but her weird idea to seemingly rewrite their lives was so confusing that I was glad Hana showed up. 2w

peaKnit I read it as though it were two separate stories, same characters with different roles like American Horror Story. (edited) 2w

squirrelbrain But then things with Hana got *really* weird 🤷‍♀️ @BookwormAHN 2w

BarbaraBB I didn‘t think of an alternate reality, but kept thinking of acting. She felt so unnatural in her role as a mother. Might have to do with the scene @RaeLovesToRead had been mentioning. 2w

BarbaraBB @Ruthiella That‘s so true and yet they could have been reversed just as easily I think. I‘d be just as confused! 2w

BarbaraBB @Meshell1313 I‘ve been wondering that too. He has no ‘role‘ whatsoever. It even crossed my mind she made him up. They don‘t even greet one another when meeting in the first half. Did he even come into the restaurant? 2w

Roary47 @TrishB @BkClubCare @AmyG I agree with it being an alternate reality. I mentioned a movie that explored having a baby and not having a baby. This felt like that, because Part 1 no way she never had a baby and part 2 she mentioned Xavier when he was younger involving his room. I also like what @Deblovestoread mentioned with it being the “son‘s” play. If she was experiencing mental health issues like dementia, and her husband clung to having a kid 2w

Roary47 @Butterfinger I like this thought with having a second chance even if it wasn‘t really her son. I like the idea of father and son making a story for her and Hana actually being her nurse. I did not like Hana, but if you are struggling with your brain functioning properly then yeah I guess they could turn into someone that is too in your business. 2w

Megabooks @RaeLovesToRead This is such a great reading of it! I didn't think of it this way at all, but it makes a lot of sense! 2w

Megabooks @TrishB And I feel that the Sliding Doors thing is how it has been handled in other books I've read where it seems that one is “real“ and the other is “speculative,“ but I feel like Kitamura takes it farther into the realm of questioning reality than other more surface books like The Other Side of Now, which I'm reading this weekend. @bkclubcare @thekidupstairs @peaknit @mcctrish @AmyG @reggie 2w

Megabooks @vonnie862 I found it weird, too. Almost like “the lady doth protest too much“. 2w

Megabooks @Butterfinger I just totally didn't see the dementia angle, but her reaction to Hana does seem to make sense in the realm of what I know about how older people with dementia react to new nursing staff in their lives. Sometimes it's a bit harder if you introduce home care later in the course of the illness. 2w

BkClubCare VERY interesting comment about Anna in part 1 contrasting with the Hana dynamic in part 2. Both took X‘s focus away from Mom. 2w

Well-ReadNeck I thought of the shared aspect as sort of an improve exercise: all the participants say yes! … and! The husband, I think played the role the best. He accepted his role and accepted all the new ideas thrown out by Xavier (even Hana). The MC was along for the ride but, eventually, I think it didn‘t serve her and she put and end to it (hence it‘s a failed audition). 2w

squirrelbrain @Well-ReadNeck - another great idea that I hadn‘t thought of - improv! 2w

GatheringBooks @BkClubCare i agree about the form of the story being challenging - but yes agree 100 percent that the literary craftsmanship is superb. I may not be fully invested in any of them but it was fully absorbing nonetheless. 2w

GatheringBooks @Reggie reggieeeeee!!! I miss you and love reading your thoughts here. I know what you mean about this wanton woman (lols) throwing the husband under the bus - but then again guys are just always so predictable, like seriously, and the author could have also been threading that needle, how men are so easy - and women are slightly more complicated - so much so that we have two versions: hana and MC who are both unfathomable. 2w

GatheringBooks Great question and such fascinating answers. Having lived with my mother who has dementia, this never occurred to me at all. MC was lucid throughout - the clarity in her mind is startling and piercing, even. I am more with the sliding doors thing of @JamieArc - an alternate reality where the author cleverly reached into the “stage” of the book, rearranged the roles, said “action!” I thought the experimental aspect was risky yet it worked for me (edited) 2w

34 likes51 comments

squirrelbrain

Audition | Katie Kitamura

#camplitsy25

And, for our final question for this book and, as many of you have put in your reviews, WTF is going on?!

I know many of you have questions, so here‘s your opportunity and, hopefully, *someone* will have answers!

Here‘s a couple of questions from me to get us started:

Is one half real, the other fiction?
Is this meta-fiction?

Thanks for all your input and comments on this challenging book! 🏕️

Megabooks, BarbaraBB

Soubhiville From the reviews, I don‘t feel I‘ve missed much by having to skip this one. I am looking forward to reading everyone‘s responses later, to see if anyone thinks they‘ve figured this book out! 2w

Bookwormjillk I'm going to answer this one first. I liked this book even though I didn't understand it. I've been thinking about it all week.

One of the things I was really confused about was the ages of the MC and Xavier. At first I guessed she was maybe early/mid 50's and Xavier was around 23-25. But in the second half she read a lot older. I began to think that she had dementia, and that the first part of the book was before she was diagnosed. (1/2) 2w

Bookwormjillk (2/2) The second part I thought was after she was diagnosed and Xavier and husband were trying to take care of her but had been so used to living off her acting paychecks their whole lives they weren't doing a good job. So they had to bring in Hana.

The whole book was scary to me. Like at any moment something can happen to you and no matter how successful you are you'll have to depend on others.

Can't wait to hear how others interpreted it! (edited) 2w

See All 99 Comments

CarolynM My theory is Part 1 is basically true. The advent of Xavier makes the MC revisit her feelings about her pregnancies and Part 2 is her thinking about what life would have been like if she‘d had either child, which she is projecting over the reality of Xavier taking advantage of her by moving in. Or it‘s 2 versions of the same person one childless, one with a child. In Part 1 she‘s angsty about her age/appearance, sexual politics, work stuff ⬇️ (edited) 2w

RaeLovesToRead I've written a detailed rundown on Goodreads - I'll try and summarise... Part One is reality and Part Two is an agreement between the characters to live as if Xavier is really their son, motivated by mutual desire for it to be the truth. Initially it fulfils a deep need for all the characters and the arrangement seems to be working, but as it goes on the mask starts to slip and Xavier's presence in their life becomes less of a positive. 2w

RaeLovesToRead As @The_Book_Ninja phrased it on my Litsy review "Xavier failed his Audition" 2w

RaeLovesToRead I do feel like the book made sense to me. I didn't feel confused. Once it tilts and is revealed that Part Two is "acting" all the inconsistencies fell into place for me. 2w

CarolynM ⬆️ In part 2 the angst is about things like which parent does the child want approval from, is the child meeting expectations or slacking off, how does the child‘s partner fit into the family dynamic? 2w

CarolynM @RaeLovesToRead I like your idea too. 2w

mcctrish Ooo @Bookwormjillk @RaeLovesToRead both of these make sense of this book and I love the comment that Xavier failed his audition because he totally did - felt like he was a grifter 2w

TrishB When I started the second part I just thought- oh this is one of those clever books we‘re all supposed to be philosophical about now….I struggle enjoying books that have no likeable characters and no plot. 2w

Oryx My interpretation was the same as @RaeLovesToRead 's - it was an agreement to act like they had always been a family. And then it fell apart. 2w

Oryx I'm still so confused about what age they are meant to be though? They read 60s/70s to me. But that doesn't fit. 2w

Bookwormjillk @RaeLovesToRead good theory! Makes the title make sense. 2w

BkClubCare I, too, want to answer this question first. I can‘t find my original thoughts (WHERE OH WHERE did I write that?! Anyway, I now think it is alternate realities, those aligning threads but not, where part 1 she didn‘t have a child and how that affected her marriage and her career and the part 2 if she did have Xavier and how it affects her life. I know I am stating the obvious, but to me, it was her stories to herself and not being able 1/? (edited) 2w

BkClubCare To reconcile her feelings and hopes for self actualization and happiness. It is working through all her feelings about motherhood and being a wife while having a career. All delusions, all shifting with each time on stage even while playing the same part. I am liking the story (stories?) more with distance. 2/2 2w

BkClubCare @RaeLovesToRead - yes! Love this! “Xavier failed the audition.” 😂 as did the MC for role of “mother”. 2w

RaeLovesToRead @mcctrish @BkClubCare I can't take credit for the Xavier failed his audition wording - that was @The_Book_Ninja 😄 2w

RaeLovesToRead But yeah, I'm pretty cemented in my view of what I thought was meant to be going on. Love hearing the other interpretations though! 2w

squirrelbrain @Soubhiville - it was certainly a challenging book for sure, and I‘m not sure if anyone actually enjoyed it. 😬 2w

TheKidUpstairs Like @Bookwormjillk I saw a lot of themes and ideas of aging and dementia, and also the vulnerabilities and potential for abuse in these situations. But not in a straightforward narrative way, I read the two parts as alternate realities as an allegory for dementia, combined with a metaphor for the roles we play. I'm not sure if I'm explaining my thoughts well - this book definitely sent them into a spiral! 2w

squirrelbrain @Bookwormjillk - that‘s really interesting and something that hadn‘t even crossed my mind. 🤔 So, in her confused mind Hana is bossing Tomas around when, really, she feels bossed around by Hana, maybe? 2w

TheKidUpstairs @squirrelbrain @soubhiville I really enjoyed it! But I was definitely in the right place for a mind twisting, not really sure what's going on, read. I totally get how people didn't like it as much as I did! 2w

squirrelbrain I really like these theories / this theory @CarolynM @BkClubCare (I think you‘re both agreeing?!). In the second part her play is a success (because of her) and it almost feels like she‘s asking the question ‘Can women actually have it all?‘. With the answer being, yes, but you still have worries and are not necessarily happy with having it all. 2w

mcctrish @Bookwormjillk your dementia idea is making it make sense to me more when I think back to the first part when I kept thinking her husband was following her because of infidelity but maybe he was just checking on her - early stages dementia you are fine in familiar settings - and how I felt she wasn‘t using all her words ( explaining all her thoughts/moods/ideas/situations ) thereby creating unnecessary confusion/conflict (edited) 2w

squirrelbrain Hmm, I‘m not so sure @RaeLovesToRead @oryx 🤔 There‘s a line near the start of part 2 where the MC talks about the negotiations between Anne, X and her. She says ‘It was not possible to occlude the reality of my relationship with X, the affinities and understandings built over a lifetime.‘ If X isn‘t her son and they have an agreement to act as if he was, she wouldn‘t have said this. 2w

squirrelbrain @TheKidUpstairs - I definitely saw the aging allegories but didn‘t think to take it as far as dementia, as you and @bookwormjillk did. It‘s fascinating how we can all come up with different theories or, in some cases, the same theory! 2w

jenniferw88 I enjoyed it. However, I have a different interpretation. I think Xavier is her son, and the first part and most of part two is a dress rehearsal of the play he wrote (based on real people they know), up until the fictional play run's end. Then the rest of it is discussing the performances and him saying "Mum, look, this is basically you". 2w

jenniferw88 I also like @Bookwormjillk 's idea about dementia though! 2w

mcctrish @jenniferw88 I‘m starting to think, going with the dementia theory, that Xavier is her son and she‘s forgotten him and like you said he‘s come back and he and his dad are trying to provide some support so she can keep living her life a bit on her terms 2w

Bookwormjillk @squirrelbrain yes, and I think in that weird hide and seek scene they were actually looking for MC. 2w

Bookwormjillk Maybe this is one of those books that can be about whatever you‘re going through at the moment. We‘re dealing with dementia in our family right now and the dreamy everyone is out to get me feel really reminded me of our relative. 2w

RaeLovesToRead @squirrelbrain I don't necessarily agree because she is speaking through the lens of their shared deliberate "delusion". There was always going to be some baggage when it came to Xavier because he became known to Anne through his turning up and seeking out the MC. All of her internal narrative is obfuscating, jumbled and incorporating both versions of reality - their new arrangement overlaying the reality. So I think it still fits. 2w

RaeLovesToRead @Oryx Thoughts? 2w

AmyG I questioned whether part 2 is actually her (perhaps) fantasizing “finding” her son as an adult? At the end of part 2 she did ‘t seem as the wonderful Mom she thought herself to be. What if the entire past of raising him was skipped and he came into the story as her son? A rewrite of the play? I am thinking I liked this book way more than I thought I did because I have thought so much about the story. 2w

AmyG @Bookwormjillk I keep thinking this book has much to do with the audience perception or what you say….bringing into it each individual person‘s “stuff”. We all percieve things differently based on our life, emotions, beliefs etc. We can‘t control a situation, only ourselves. So….this story will be percieved differently by each person reading it. Same as a play. @jenniferw88 very interesting interpretation. (edited) 2w

vonnie862 I'm going to be honest, I have no idea. 2w

squirrelbrain @jenniferw88 - I really like that interpretation. Although it hurts my brain a bit to try to re-frame it in that way, and I‘m definitely not going for a re-read! 2w

JenReadsAlot @vonnie862 Same! Loving reading everyone's thoughts. 2w

squirrelbrain @Bookwormjillk - I‘d forgotten about that scene, as it didn‘t seem to fit with the rest of the book for me. I wonder if it was actually her playing hide and seek with her own memories, trying to find them? There was a sense of menace about it - it certainly wasn‘t a children‘s game they were playing. 2w

squirrelbrain I really like this idea of everyone bringing their own perceptions @AmyG - and we‘re certainly demonstrating that here! 😝 2w

Bookwormjillk @squirrelbrain yes very confusing and menacing at the same time 2w

JamieArc @AmyG I like that idea too, about the audience perception. I can picture the author excited to see what all the readers think it is about. 2w

JamieArc @Bookwormjillk I‘m glad you brought in that scene, and your interpretation is interesting. I could NOT figure it out. I was worried it was going to go into some weird sexual direction, especially with earlier subtle comments about the husband and Hana. 2w

Susanita @TrishB Yes! I just kept thinking I didn‘t get it. Even once I just accepted it was two different stories! Also, it‘s another book in which the characters don‘t talk to each other! 🤦🏻‍♀️ 2w

BkClubCare @squirrelbrain right? I keep wondering if…. If I hadn‘t read the book, and then read all these comments, would I want to read the book?🤣 because it really is twisty. (Will not be rereading it.) 2w

Jas16 Like @CarolynM I thought the 2nd part was her imagining if Xavier was her child. At first it seems rosy in her mind thinking they would have a close relationship but then her vision keeps shifting as all of her doubts about herself as a mother creep in and the possible family dynamics that would no longer have her at the center. Her thoughts keep spiraling until they flare into the over the top ending. But now seeing everyone else‘s thoughts… 2w

Meshell1313 I love reading everyone‘s theories! It‘s fun trying to interpret this unreliable narrator to figure out what is true and untrue and I think that‘s the whole point. There‘s def a message here about a woman‘s internal monologue and fulfilling these roles society places on us. 2w

Deblovestoread I didn‘t get dementia at all but could see where it can be viewed that way. It is so ambiguous that each reader is going to come away with a different idea of wtf actually happened and I think that was the point. 2w

Butterfinger I wish we could ask the author. I had forgotten about the hide and seek between Hana and the husband. It does show the insecure feelings of the narrator. Someone is trying to replace her. I think Hana is the one auditioning, in the narrator's mind, at least. I wonder if we will see this on next year's ToB. I have enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts and theories. Where our minds go to make sense of what we don't understand. 2w

ChaoticMissAdventures @Bookwormjillk just a question, do you think she read a lot older because she is shown as a more stable mother? I think often times we view women who do not have children a bit younger than those who do. I question this often in literature that compares mothers to child free women.. Just curious as I didnt' see her older in the second half, though there is a bit of time that goes by since we know that X has been working w/ Ann for a bit. 2w

ChaoticMissAdventures @RaeLovesToRead I really like this take of the parts, and how the mask slips as the actions become more and more fever dream. I like this take because then you can get the feeling at the end when she removes Hana from the home she is again taking control. 2w

ChaoticMissAdventures @mcctrish agree, through-out the book I felt Xavier was a grifter. Each reality he was scamming for something. 2w

ChaoticMissAdventures @squirrelbrain I am going to be the extreme outlier this month. I really enjoyed this one and I absolutely hated the next one we will talk about which everyone seems to adore so far 😂 I still am enjoying everyone's takes here though! 2w

Ruthiella My interpretation was the same as @Jas16 and @CarolynM . It‘s so interesting to think now about other interpretations. 2w

ChaoticMissAdventures @squirrelbrain the “can we have it all“ question is a great one. Through that lens looking at Hana it could feel like she is saying even if you work to have it all there will be outside forces that come in that you cannot control. 2w

Bookwormjillk @Butterfinger I really do wish we could ask the author. I wonder if she‘s reading all the speculation. @ChaoticMissAdventures I‘m not sure but I think it was because in the second part she seemed somehow more fragile and at the very end of her career. I agree Xavier is a grifter no matter what this book meant. 2w

Lesliereadsalot Having read all the comments, here‘s my take on the narrator. In the first half we see her as she wants to be seen: a recognizable actress, a husband who loves her, no children. Then Xavier appears, giving her something to think about outside of herself, what might have been. Then we segue to the second half: who she really is. She can‘t control her son or her husband. They‘re going to be who they‘re going to be and she has no power. 2w

RaeLovesToRead @ChaoticMissAdventures Yeah, the scenes do get very fever dream and exaggerated at the end and that's when it all comes back to reality. The way I saw it was she comes back in and they're all a bit giddy - like a drunken party where everyone takes things a bit too far - and she thinks her husband is groping Hana and it breaks the spell and she's like "RIGHT THAT'S IT. Show's over, guys." 2w

squirrelbrain @Jas16 - I‘m definitely drawn most to @CarolynM ‘s interpretation, although all of the others are just as feasible. 2w

squirrelbrain @Meshell1313 - it‘s so good to see all the theories isn‘t it?! It‘s great that a book most of us disliked has engendered so much discussion and I‘m starting to like it more now I understand it a bit more. 2w

squirrelbrain Oh, great thought about Hana being the one doing the audition! @Butterfinger (edited) 2w

squirrelbrain @ChaoticMissAdventures - I didn‘t see her as older in the second part either, which is why the dementia angle hadn‘t crossed my mind. 2w

squirrelbrain @Lesliereadsalot - so you think Xavier is actually her son, but in the first half she prefers to be known as childless? I wonder if that‘s why Tomas is such an insignificant, almost ghostly figure in the first half too? She wants to be the most important person in the room. 2w

Oryx @RaeLovesToRead @squirrelbrain replying to the convo in the thread above, I don't think it matters so much what she says, it can all be part of her act. Although the other theories are interesting. I'm not sure I'm clever enough for this book (and so my reaction is to not like it 😁). 2w

Maggie4483 @mcctrish Whoa! That is interesting! And that might explain when Hana talks about their “reconciliation,“ and the MC says “there was never any reconciliation, because there was never any rupture.“ Maybe they WERE estranged, and that's why she thinks she never had a child, until he comes back. 2w

Lesliereadsalot Yes, I think she doesn‘t want to be known as “mother”. She wants the world to be about her and her alone. How dare Xavier think he can insert himself into her perfect world. In the second half, her son bugs her, her husband bugs her, her life in general bugs her. The first half is her dream life, no longer attainable. 2w

Maggie4483 I'm so thankful for this discussion - if I had just read it on my own, I would have convinced myself that I wasn't smart enough to understand it. I mean...I still may not be, but I feel a little better knowing that it was intentionally written to be open to interpretation. Several people have used the term “fever dream,“ and that's definitely what this felt like. In some cases, I like that style of writing, but here...not so much. 2w

BookwormAHN I agree with @Lesliereadsalot But I also wonder if their is some dementia or if Xavier is Tomas' since in some of the earlier scenes he was checking up on her and worried if she was having another affair. 2w

squirrelbrain @Oryx - I‘ve found all the theories really enlightening, and I‘m starting to like the book more as a result. 2w

squirrelbrain @Maggie4483 - I agree - I knew when I read the book and didn‘t understand it, that Littens always have great ideas and would help me out. 😜 2w

squirrelbrain @Lesliereadsalot - that makes a lot of sense! I wonder if the two parts could be reversed. The first part is *after* she kicks him out, he‘s returned but she doesn‘t ‘know‘ him any more. 2w

BarbaraBB @BkClubCare I felt that too, that she failed the audition for the role of mother! 2w

BarbaraBB @Bookwormjillk I get your take on it and the dementia, now that you explain it. Hana might even have been a caregiver. I also think it‘s quite interesting what @jenniferw88 and @mcctrish add to your theory. I am so confused, especially when dealing irl with my mother‘s dementia and not recognizing aspects of it in the mc! (edited) 2w

BarbaraBB Mostly our discussions are so enlightening but this one makes me even more confused. So many wise things said above could have been true!! Based on the interview with the author that @ChaoticMissAdventures shared earlier, I think she would be proud of us and all our interpretations of the story! (edited) 2w

Roary47 @CarolynM I like that idea that she didn‘t have two kids, and there were two “kids” in the house the second time. I was on the same thought that it was two realities like @BkClubCare one with a child one without. I also like @RaeLovesToRead thoughts that X was acting as son. I also like the idea of women can have it all with reservations. @squirrelbrain I‘m so glad I was in this discussion it helped bring my thoughts to light and see others. 2w

Roary47 Another thought I had: Xavier and Hana were con artists who were using MC and T to gain the home. Like anyone who uses an elderly person to gain access to their money, bank account, or identity. Weaseling their way into the home and taking over. Even getting T to be their butler for a bit. The dementia thoughts would have helped them do it. After this discussion I also enjoyed this book more, but wouldn‘t read it again. 😅 2w

squirrelbrain I like that there are so many different options and ideas! @BarbaraBB 2w

squirrelbrain It‘s been such a good discussion, hasn‘t it?! @roary47 2w

BkClubCare @squirrelbrain - excellent discussion!! 🌟 2w

Megabooks @Bookwormjillk Have you ever read We Spread by Iain Reid? The horror aspects of dealing with dementia were handled in an interesting way in that book. I think there is something truly unsettling about losing one's grip on reality that way. I wonder how the mind does reconcile it?? @bookwormjillK @thekidupstairs @mcctrish @JenniferW88 2w

Megabooks My initial thought, and I don't think I've seen anyone say this, was that she was using this imagination of life with Xavier as a way to break through the acting block she had in the first half. Maybe she had to see herself in a different situation to access those emotions. 2w

Megabooks @RaeLovesToRead That's really interesting and an interpretation that I didn't think of. But then I wonder why late middle age to older adults would agree to have a child at that point? It seems awfully late to try to take one on.

@oryx were they always a family and if so, why was he estranged in the first half?

Excellent quip @the_book_ninja!! 2w

mcctrish @Megabooks I‘m going to check that out - my mom had Lewy Body Dementia and it was awful 2w

MeganAnn @Lesliereadsalot I like your take! The first half seemed like she was playing the role of a recognizable actress when she wasn‘t on stage playing the role of the character. The second half felt like she was playing the role of mother & wife, but losing control of everything as her son and husband sort of take over. And every time she mentioned her work on the play I got the sense that she was playing a role as much in real life as she was at work. 2w

MeganAnn So many excellent thoughts and ideas here! I kept going back to the title of the book when trying to make sense of it. That along with the mentions of her work in the play and the way she speaks about it felt like she sees these parts of her life as roles to play just as much as the ones she is hired for. Each scene of her life is an audition and she is finding the character she wants to play in that scene. (1/2) 2w

Bookwormjillk @Megabooks I have not. Thanks for the rec! 2w

MeganAnn At the beginning she plays the role of a recognizable actress about town. In the second part the role of mother is a bit harder to nail down. She cannot control or completely predict what Tomas or Xavier are going to do and is trying to react to them as a mother should for the part, but it feels a bit unnatural. And then she completely loses control when Hana shows up and the whole things goes sideways. 2w

squirrelbrain I agree @MeganAnn - we had so many great ideas and theories - it‘s difficult to pick just one, but I think that‘s what the author intended. 2w

Kitta I thought that she had dementia and that the novel is actually Xavier‘s play, voicing what he thinks she‘s thinking and going through. The play she was acting in at the beginning was the inspiration for him to write this. I think there was a rupture in their relationship and he‘s trying to reconnect with her in a medium she understands. That he is her son and she‘s already forgotten him in part one, so he moves in and she regains some memories. 2w

Kitta But I‘m not sure 🤷🏻‍♀️ it‘s a confusing one. 2w

Well-ReadNeck I really liked this book and have recommended it to a few folks who I think would really roll with how completely banana pants it is 🍌👖 2w

Well-ReadNeck I got the creeps from Xavier at the beginning because I thought he was gaslighting her (I mean she knows if she had a kid or not and I presumed she was a reliable narrator). But, maybe he was just proposing a “mutually beneficial” scenario that they “auditioned” in the second half. The vibes reminded me a ton of an old Will Smith movie from the early 90‘s(I think) I believe it was called Six Degrees of Separation. 2w

squirrelbrain You‘re one of the few to like it! 😬 @Well-ReadNeck 2w

Christine Such a great conversation! I think @megabooks comes closest to my interpretation of what it was all about. At the same time, I didn‘t really think about what it was all about too much, I just enjoyed the ride! 🤣 2w

GatheringBooks Our college kid graduated over the weekend here in seattle so am late to this party. @RaeLovesToRead loved your use of the word “tilt” because it IS tilting the story on its axis where everything turned surreal, postmodern & choose-your-own-adventure-y vibe, where parallel realities converge & the reader gets to choose/decide which narrative we lean towards. As @TrishB said, it may be too clever for its own good & risks alienating the reader. 2w

GatheringBooks I think everything we just read is the story that Xavier wrote. Well done, Xavier. You have managed to flummox Litsy book-brethren. 2w

RaeLovesToRead @GatheringBooks Thanks 🥰 I loved the book in all it's surreal, postmodern weirdness! 2w

squirrelbrain Lol @GatheringBooks - it takes a lot to flummox *all* the Litsy folk! 2w

34 likes1 stack add99 comments

CarolynM

Audition | Katie Kitamura

pick

I agree this is an odd book, but I enjoyed it. I have an idea about what I think it‘s doing. I‘m looking forward to seeing what the campers think. #CampLitsy25

charl08 Intrigued by this one, looking forward to getting to read it. 2w

CarolynM For future reference, my take is that Part I is her reality - childlessness- Part 2 is her fantasy of what life might have been like if either of her pregnancies had been carried to term superimposed over the reality of Xavier taking advantage of her & Tomas by moving himself and his girlfriend in 2w

squirrelbrain Ohhhhh, great idea Carolyn! Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the rest of the book. 2w

Ruthiella I read it the way you did Carolyn. @RaeLovesToRead did too. I am really enjoying other interpretations. 2w

BarbaraBB I am with you on this take of the book. The other interpretations in the discussion could have been just as true however in my opinion. So confusing 😀 2w

62 likes5 comments

ImperfectCJ

Audition | Katie Kitamura

We're having some good times this trip, but I'm looking forward to the next phase of the journey, which will be away from the older generation for a bit. I'm grateful to be able to visit with them, but every time I open my book, they want to talk about something else. I am accustomed to more quiet time than this.

Photo: Red squirrel having a snack in Summit County, Ohio.

Bookwormjillk Summit County! Woo!

Hope you get some quiet time soon. I have an elder who every time I open a book says “Do you really like reading?“ 3w

Susanita Oof. 🤦🏻‍♀️ 3w

BarbaraBB Beautiful photo. I know what you mean and will have some you time soon! 3w

See All 6 Comments

BarbaraBB @Bookwormjillk 😂😂 3w

ImperfectCJ @Bookwormjillk We get a little of that, but it's more just talking like I'm not reading at all, like, "Hey, do remember Kurt that I worked with 25 years ago? He drove a Chevy Malibu and went to the Lutheran church across town? We met him randomly at a euchre tournament in Florida 10 years ago. His daughter is a pharmacist and she has this pet pug..." 3w

Bookwormjillk @ImperfectCJ lol 3w

49 likes6 comments

kspenmoll

Audition | Katie Kitamura

I finished Audition.
I am perplexed. Baffled. What just transpired? Parallel Universes?
#Camplitsy25

Megabooks, squirrelbrain, BarbaraBB

IriDas That sounds like a few of the reviews I‘ve read. 3w

kspenmoll @IriDas Now that I am finished, I will let myself read some reviews! I did not want to have any preconceived notions before I read this. 3w

Graciouswarriorprincess I wondered that too. 3w

See All 9 Comments

RaeLovesToRead My take was different! I wrote a whole big spiel on Goodreads if you wanna compare notes! 3w

kspenmoll @RaeLovesToRead Would love to read it! 3w

BarbaraBB An act in a play? I really can‘t say 😂 3w

squirrelbrain I‘m hoping we get enlightened at the weekend! 😝 3w

youneverarrived Haha my thoughts exactly 3w

RaeLovesToRead I can't link to the review for some reason, but my GR is: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/35995783-rae 3w

66 likes1 stack add9 comments

CogsOfEncouragement

Audition | Katie Kitamura

All done and ready to discuss with other campers.

#CampLitsy25

37 likes

Kitta

Audition | Katie Kitamura

pan

⭐️⭐️

First #Camplitsy25 book is not a pick for me unfortunately!

I don‘t like reading things with unreliable narrators where you don‘t quite understand what is happening, and I get that the book mirrors the play, but it doesn‘t really rescue this for me. I‘m left with too many questions unanswered. Maybe I just didn‘t “get” it and the discussion will change my mind.

#camplitsy

BarbaraBB You‘re not alone on this. Hopefully the discussion will shine some light on what the book is about! 3w

Karisa My hold still hasn‘t come in on this one. Might just pass after reading what many have said in it😬 2w

Kitta @Karisa if you don‘t mind spoilers maybe join in on the discussion and see what people say there? I think it‘s definitely divisive. Some people love it, it‘s just not for me. 2w

37 likes1 stack add3 comments

ChaoticMissAdventures

Audition | Katie Kitamura

I am thinking about this book, and what our conversation on Saturday will look like, and there is an NPR interview with Kitamura that is super interesting. She talks about how she wants the 2 halves of the story to sit along side each other, and the idea of this image comes up.

Is it a rabbit or a duck?

NPR article here: https://www.npr.org/2025/04/16/nx-s1-5243214/katie-kitamura-says-a-solution-is-n...

BarbaraBB Thanks, that is a very interesting interview indeed! 3w

dabbe I see both! 🤩 3w

ChaoticMissAdventures @dabbe me too! I can't help but always see both. Have you seen the old and young lady one? I usually see the young lady first but then quickly see both and cannot unsee either. 3w

See All 7 Comments

ChaoticMissAdventures @BarbaraBB I thought so! I know a lot of people in #Camplitsy25 are struggling with "the point" or trying to reconcile the 2 halves and this really helped me look at it a different way. 3w

dabbe @ChaoticMissAdventures I know exactly which one you're talking about! The line is either the young lady's necklace or the older lady's mouth! 3w

BarbaraBB I am also a bit disappointed that there‘s no real answer to all my questions! (edited) 3w

Kitta Thanks for posting this! 2w

32 likes7 comments

julieclair

Audition | Katie Kitamura

so-so

I am not smart enough to understand this book. Looking forward to the #CampLitsy25 discussion on Saturday, hoping for some enlightenment. Or at least some commiseration, lol. 🤪😳😵‍💫

Megabooks, squirrelbrain, BarbaraBB

CBee I couldn‘t keep reading. Couldn‘t concentrate and it didn‘t seem to have a point so, DNF for me 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️ 3w

BarbaraBB I didn‘t get it either! 3w

squirrelbrain I think we‘re *all* hoping that someone will know wha5 was going on! 3w

Megabooks I didn't get it either, but I think we may all figure it out together! 3w

kspenmoll Figuring it out together really helps with this book! 2w

40 likes5 comments

Read4life

Audition | Katie Kitamura

so-so

Well… I guess Saturday‘s #CampLitsy25 discussion will be interesting. 🧐 I am in the WHAAAT?? Group for this one.
I didn‘t have the strong feelings (positive or negative) that I‘m reading about in so many reviews for this book. I‘m really looking forward to the discussion to hear what the other campers have to say.

Megabooks, squirrelbrain, BarbaraBB

mcctrish I‘m looking forward to the discussions 3w

BarbaraBB I can‘t wait to be enlightened by other Littens 😀 3w

Megabooks I think it's going to be a great discussion. Can't wait to see you there! 3w

61 likes3 comments

Texreader

Audition | Katie Kitamura

This post contains spoilers

show me

pick

An actress tells us about her son Xavier in 2 parts and in various ways, any of which may be real or not. A few constants: she‘s an actress married to Tomas, and she works with Anne. She lives near the theater and she buys breakfast at the same cafe everyday. But she‘s an unreliable narrator. What is true? What‘s not? This is an excellent author and I enjoyed the different narratives by a main character who overthinks everything! #camplitsy

Megabooks, squirrelbrain, BarbaraBB

BarbaraBB Great review!! 3w

Texreader @BarbaraBB Thanks! But I realized I gave away a spoiler from part 1 in the first sentence! So I‘ve added the spoiler alert. 3w

BarbaraBB And you are assuming he is her son 😉 3w

See All 10 Comments

Roary47 Okay, so I wasn‘t going crazy. In part one I was like… alright so he‘s not her son. Then part 2 I‘m like why are they letting this con artist in their home. He‘s not their son! 🤯 3w

squirrelbrain Great review! ❤️ 3w

mcctrish @Roary47 I had these thoughts too 3w

Megabooks I love this review. I'm in the camp that I don't think he is her son, but the second part is a mental exercise she used to get through the blockage working out the scene in part one. And what did her husband text her at the end of part 1????

FANTASTIC review! 3w

Texreader @BarbaraBB well I did provide the caveat: true or not? 😁 3w

Texreader @Megabooks agh! I‘ve returned the book! What did he text her? And thanks!! 😊 3w

BarbaraBB @Megabooks That is quite the question indeed!! 3w

20 likes10 comments

TheKidUpstairs

Audition | Katie Kitamura

pick

What a ride of a book! I absolutely loved it, and will be thinking about it for quite some time, just trying to wrap my head around it! The first part is fairly straightforward, but thoughtfully wrought. Then that second part comes in, full of questions and a growing sense of unease. Like many others, I am left wondering WTF exactly just happened, but in a really delicious way.

cont'd in comments

TheKidUpstairs It raised so many interesting thoughts and questions that I can't wait to discuss this weekend with the #CampLitsy25 folks! 3w

peaKnit Agree with your assessment, the second part 🤯 look forward to discussion. 3w

BarbaraBB Fab review! 3w

squirrelbrain Great review! ❤️ 3w

kspenmoll Great review. My impression: What did I just read?! Discussion will help. 2w

59 likes1 stack add5 comments

Roary47

Audition | Katie Kitamura

pan

2✨ What did I just read? Is it me or does part 1 and 2 not match. I‘m so confused. Glad I read this with others. 😅 On a bright note I tried the cookies! #CampLitsy25 @Librarybelle @BarbaraBB @squirrelbrain @Megabooks

Librarybelle Yay!! I‘ve been enjoying mine! 😁 3w

Bookwormjillk I'm glad you liked the cookies at least! Not you. I don't think they were supposed to match from what I've read. 3w

See All 7 Comments

squirrelbrain It will certainly be an interesting discussion this weekend! 3w

Megabooks I love that they're coming out with many different flavors of Milanos more than I love this book. 😂 I have celiac, but my dad loves the new lemon Milanos. It's definitely a weird book that I think discussion will help a lot! 3w

Roary47 @Megabooks What?! Lemon 🍋 Milano? This is my first taste of these cookies and I‘m excited to try more. I hope I can find the lemon ones. 🤩 3w

Megabooks They have both lemon and strawberry at my Kroger. Good luck finding them!! 3w

30 likes1 stack add7 comments

Bookwormjillk

Audition | Katie Kitamura

pick

Disclaimer: by giving this a pick I am in no way saying I understood what happened. I CANNOT WAIT to talk about this Saturday for #CampLitsy

One of the weirdest books I‘ve read in a while.

Megabooks, squirrelbrain, BarbaraBB

AmyG Right? I read the whole book just waiting for the moment when I say….AHHHH, I understand this. 3w

ErikasMindfulShelf I loved it but have no clue what‘s actually happened. Lol. I think thats the point. 3w

ChaoticMissAdventures Loving the ride, not caring there is no destination 😂 3w

See All 6 Comments

squirrelbrain I think we‘re all hoping that *someone* will enlighten us on Saturday! 🤔 3w

mcctrish Same!!!!! 3w

Megabooks It's going to be so great to discuss it! I bet we all have different ideas!! 3w

69 likes1 stack add6 comments

vonnie862

Audition | Katie Kitamura

pan

Ummm...I'm trying to make sense of what I just listened to. Maybe it would have made more sense if I read a physical copy? It makes one question what is real. This could have been clever but it just left me scratching my head. Not my cup of tea.

#camplitsy25 #bookspinbingo

Read4life Right? After I finished it, I just sat there. I had nothing. 3w

Meshell1313 Can confirm- reading the physical copy did not help. 😂 3w

vonnie862 @Meshell1313 😂 3w

uncommonlycozies @Meshell1313 your comment is really helpful for a reader like me & actually made me laugh out loud 🤣 (edited) 3w

mcctrish I think audio might have been a struggle with this as I was confused with a print copy and needed to go back and reread a few things ( not that it helped at all) 3w

41 likes5 comments

Susanita

Audition | Katie Kitamura

I almost bailed, and I almost threw it across the room, but I finished it. Not sure what I read. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Texreader Im so close to finishing it. Can‘t wait to see why there‘s so much frustration! 😁 3w

squirrelbrain It will certainly make for interesting discussions at the weekend! 3w

BarbaraBB I have no idea what happened but I enjoyed the ride! 3w

43 likes1 stack add3 comments

Graciouswarriorprincess

Audition | Katie Kitamura

Books 68-72 of the year.

#camplitsy

23 likes

jenniferw88

Audition | Katie Kitamura

pick

What the actual...?! 🤣🤣🤣

Looking forward to #camplitsy this weekend! @squirrelbrain @Megabooks @BarbaraBB

#52bookclub25 #aty25 #newin2025

Prairiegirl_reading I‘m part way through part 2 and just completely lost! When do the five stars happen??? 3w

squirrelbrain Yes, should be an interesting discussion! 3w

jenniferw88 @Prairiegirl_reading partly because I am completely lost too, and the ending is 🤷🏻‍♀️ It'll be a book that stays with me for some time, I think! 3w

See All 6 Comments

Prairiegirl_reading @jenniferw88 I‘m glad you liked it. It will definitely be a good conversation on the weekend. 😊 3w

BarbaraBB My thoughts exactly 🤣 3w

Megabooks It is 100% a thought-provoking book! 3w

55 likes6 comments

Susanita

Audition | Katie Kitamura

It was a long day, and I just might fall asleep on the couch in front of the RV.

The game started late because of the rain, but I had the tagged book to read. I also read some in the car during actual #hyggehourreadathon while I waited for my husband.

During the game my sister and I had a bookish conversation with a ridiculously smart acquaintance of ours, and he talked about his love of Russian literature (!) among other things.

TheBookHippie, Chrissyreadit, AllDebooks

TheBookHippie I love Russian Literature! 3w

Susanita He also encouraged me to read 1984, but I don‘t know if I can do that at this point in time. 3w

Chrissyreadit 💛💛💛💛 3w

32 likes3 comments

mcctrish

Audition | Katie Kitamura

My nails look really good with this book 😂 truthfully I don‘t know what to say about this #camplitsy read. The first half felt like MC left most of her thoughts/words unsaid thereby creating tension/drama. The second half was an alternate universe what if? where she read drama into every scene in her real life. Maybe I‘m not as smart as I think? It was compelling to read- I inhaled it

Bookwormjillk Your nails do look good! 3w

TheBookHippie Nails look good!! 3w

Jas16 Love your nails! 3w

See All 7 Comments

mcctrish Thank you @Bookwormjillk @TheBookHippie @Jas16 they are a #pridefrenchmanicure who knew I‘d theme to the month and my book #winning 3w

dabbe #younailedthenails! 💚💅💜 3w

AmyG Love your nails. Fun and subtle! 3w

AnnCrystal 💅👏🏼🤩👍🏼 nice 💝. 3w

66 likes7 comments

kspenmoll

Audition | Katie Kitamura

#WeeklyForecast

#camplitsy25 #sundaybuddyread #adventuresinphilosophy #readyourkindle #naturalitsy #midsummersolace #audiobook #serieslove2025

I need to catch up on Ash & Arguing for a Better World. Once school ends I will have oodles of reading time!

Megabooks, TheBookHippie, Chrissyreadit, Andrew65, squirrelbrain, BarbaraBB, GingerAntics, TheSpineView, CBee, AllDebooks

squirrelbrain Enjoy! 😊 3w

TheBookHippie ♥️♥️♥️♥️ 3w

TheSpineView Looka good. Enjoy! 🤩📖 3w

AllDebooks 🌞📚🌞 3w

Chrissyreadit 💛💛💛 2w

53 likes5 comments

Cathythoughts

Audition | Katie Kitamura

Weekend reading. I‘m enjoying ... I remember bailing on Intimacies, but this one seems better so far.
Although , I‘m tired today and feel more in the form for a good thriller , I may go trudging through my kindle yet 😂
One of those reading days …

squirrelbrain It‘s not the right book if you‘re tired, but it *is* only short. If you finish it you could join in with #camplitsy25. 😊 3w

Cathythoughts @squirrelbrain Thanks Helen x I‘ll try ❤️ 3w

68 likes2 comments

Butterfinger

Audition | Katie Kitamura

so-so

Left me wondering about my lack of sanity. Is middle-aged syndrome the reason for my actions? The continuity changed so much; I didn't know if I was coming or going. #CampLitsy2025 @squirrelbrain @Megabooks @BarbaraBB

kspenmoll Yup! 😀 3w

Megabooks I think we are all going to have very different thoughts about this one. I can't wait to read everyone's theories!! 3w

50 likes2 comments

JenReadsAlot

Audition | Katie Kitamura

pick

Well that was interesting.... @squirrelbrain @Megabooks @BarbaraBB #camplitsy25

squirrelbrain Interesting is one word for it! 🤣 3w

BkClubCare Yep. 3w

37 likes2 comments

squirrelbrain

Audition | Katie Kitamura

📣 Hooray! It‘s the start of summer and our first day of #camplitsy25! 🎉

This week we‘re discussing Part One of Audition. As ever, if you‘ve read ahead, please try not to include spoilers for those who haven‘t.

Also, just to let you all know, we‘ll only be tagging the first question each week (due to #glitchylitsy making it a long task).

Your first question is up above and, if you‘ve read ahead scroll down you‘ll find the other two. Enjoy!

squirrelbrain @Addison_Reads @AmyG @amiable @BarbaraJean @Bkclubcare @BooksandCoffee4me @Bookbuyingaddict @booknaround @BookwormAHN @Bookwormjillk @Butterfinger @Cariashley @Caroline2 @CarolynM 3w

squirrelbrain @catgusmax @cbee @ChaoticMissAdventures @Chelsea.Poole @Christine @CogsOfEncouragement @Cseydel @Cuilin @Dabbe @Daisey @Debinhawaii @Deblovestoread @DGRachel @ErikasMindfulshelf 3w

squirrelbrain
@flaneurette @fredthemoose @Gatheringbooks @gissy @Graciouswarriorprincess @Hooked_on_books 3w

See All 80 Comments

squirrelbrain @ImperfectCJ @JamieArc @Jas16 @Jenniferw88 @JenP @Jenreadsalot @Jess @Jhod @JoyBlue @JulesG @julieclair @KarenUK 3w

squirrelbrain
@karisa @Kitta @Kristy-K @Kspenmoll @kwmg40 @Larkken @Laughterhp @LeeRHarry @Leniverse @Lesliereadsalot @maggie4483 @maich @Mcctrish @MeganAnn @Merelybookish @Meshell1313 @Monalyisha @Oryx 3w

squirrelbrain @peaknit @peanutnine @Prairiegirl_reading @PuddleJumper @quietjenn @Read4Life @RaeLovesToRead @reggie @rockpools @Roary47 @Ruthiella @Sace @Sapphire @Sarahbarnes @Soubhiville 3w

squirrelbrain @skygoddess1 @Suet624 @Susanita @TheBookHippie @Thekidupstairs @Triplem80 @TrishB @Vonnie862 @Well-ReadNeck @willaful @youneverarrived @zuhkeeyah 3w

Sapphire I thought the waiters reaction in NYC was imagined/projected from her own anxieties and presumption. However in Paris the overt assumption is Clear with the note. So that earlier experience would also influence why she thinks the wait staff take such notice of what is happening at tables beyond who needs ketchup , more wine, is rude, or likely to tip well or poorly. 3w

mcctrish @Sapphire I agree. The Paris waiter was cringe but now the MC is 🤣 3w

kspenmoll Agree with ypu both @Sapphire @mcctrish She was so jumpy /anxious in NYC- she did impose her assumptions on the wait staff‘s facial expressions, actions-she was so conscious of the age difference between Xavier & herself. 3w

Zuhkeeyah Yes! The Paris waiter set a precedent for her brain that came into play once the old/young positions were flipped. Not sure if it says much about our society. I don‘t think many ppl jump to such conclusions just based on who is sitting at a table together. I will say we all certainly enjoy making up stories when ppl watching. 3w

Bookwormjillk @Zuhkeeyah I agree- in general people just don‘t think about each other that much 3w

TrishB I think because she judges people she assumed others were judging her. Unlike @Zuhkeeyah and @Bookwormjillk I think people do this all the time when they‘re people watching! 3w

Chelsea.Poole Seems like everyone is so worried about how they are being perceived to do much thinking about anyone else lol @Bookwormjillk 3w

JamieArc @TrishB Totally agree with you about the judging dynamic. 3w

Lesliereadsalot So insecure to think other people were looking at her and judging her. Has anybody reading this ever once felt other people in a restaurant were looking at them? I personally have never felt that, unless I was with someone creating a scene. 3w

mcctrish @Bookwormjillk I think you are totally right, most people are self involved and don‘t bother with other people but now I‘m wondering if her being famous plays into her feelings of being watched/judged 3w

DGRachel I agree with @TrishB about people watching judgements. I also think she was extra sensitive because of the reason they were meeting. But I also think we have to consider that this is her perception of what is happening, and I think it‘s obvious even in part one that she is an unreliable narrator. 3w

DGRachel @Lesliereadsalot I have definitely felt like strangers were looking at me and judging me, but as you noted, it‘s insecurity. When I feel uncomfortable in my own skin or with the social situation, I am constantly alert for stares/glares/whispers behind my back. 3w

JenReadsAlot @Zuhkeeyah Totalky agree 3w

RaeLovesToRead Oh man, I forgot about that Paris waiter! 😫 People make assumptions about the people around them all the time. I think it would usually take more than the relative ages of two people having dinner to decide their relationship to each other. Their appearance, body language, behaviour, all form part of the impression. And the MC is assuming what people are assuming so there's another level of projection there. 3w

JenP I think past experiences shape how we interpret other events later on and in the first case it was clear that there were judgments being made. And while I do agree we think that others are thinking about us more than they really do (a concept proven in social psychology, I also think there is a reality to people making assumptions about certain scenarios and many of those scenarios are gendered. She was also famous so in that case, focus is there 3w

Suet624 @DGRachel @Lesliereadsalot Yes! I often feel like people are looking at me and judging me. It‘s both insecurity and actual reality. 😊 3w

vonnie862 @TrishB I agree. When one is insecure, they often feel like people are judging them. 3w

Deblovestoread My dad and I often go out to dinner in his local area and believe me you can tell when the wait staff is thinking May/December rather than familial. I think in the US we tend to jump to the most negative conclusion first. 3w

Deblovestoread I agree @TrishB 3w

Jas16 Same @Suet624 . I also liked her feeling that the host is reassessing his snap judgments about Xavier and where he seated them based on her jewelry and expensive clothes. I have felt that way and didn‘t care much but I had a boss once who would get very angry about where his table was in restaurants because of how he felt he was being judged. 3w

Ruthiella I enjoy people watching and sometimes I do make up narratives that in my head. But when I was waitressing, I had little time to do that, personally. Managing multiple tables did not allow for it! Only with repeat customers / regulars did I have the luxury of thinking beyond what they ordered and getting paid. The narrator is over sensitive here, IMO. She thinks people are paying attention to her and they are probably not. (edited) 3w

AmyG The MC is an actress. I think because of that, she notices (or percieves) every emotion with every person she comes in contactwith. It‘s the constant reading and perceiving (judging, also) of others emotions. Does she do this for her profession, the studying of peope? I think so. And I think that we must take into account HER perception of these emotions. It‘s ALL how she perceives things. Another might perceive things differently. 3w

jenniferw88 A common question when we're out as a family eating is 'what do you think the relationship between those people are', so I think the MC is right with fellow customers, but I agree with @Ruthiella that the servers probably don't have time to think about them. 3w

ChaoticMissAdventures @Lesliereadsalot @dgrachel I rarely think people are, but occasionally, especially when I look up and see the same people staring at me over and over. But I do wonder if it is racialized? All of the diners are Asian in white spaces. I often notice that when I am out with my partner (who is Black, I am white) we get a lot more stares and the waiters judgments are insanely obvious. I agree with @JenP past experiences shape how we see a situation 3w

ChaoticMissAdventures @Ruthiella totally agree, I go to the same cafe every sunday to read, and have a friend who does the same, and we eavesdrop on everyone and we judge... but working mostly people never have the time, but I also agree with @Deblovestoread you can for sure tell if the waiter is judging you. Both can be true I think. And I think women are more aware of negative attention like this. 3w

ChaoticMissAdventures I found it interesting the second time I think they meet after Xavier has told her why he was seeking her out, she thinks the waiters see them as mother /son. Which made me believe that the first restaurant experience with them was her imagination of being judges. I do think that her sex and race have a lot to do with why she believes people are looking and judging her. She talks a lot about how being Asian in her job and life has people judging 3w

BkClubCare Uh, I don‘t remember these scenes. Paris? Oh dear, do I have to go reread this book? All of my thoughts and now recollections were about her marriage. 🤔 3w

Deblovestoread @ChaoticMissAdventures Agree that women are much more aware of negative attention for all kinds of reasons. And with @AmyG her being an actress it would be her job to notice. 3w

squirrelbrain @Sapphire @mcctrish @kspenmoll - I think she was also *wanting* to be looked at - the actor in her wants attention. 3w

squirrelbrain I agree @TrishB - I‘m sure most people are judge-y when we‘re people watching. If someone typed out our internal monologues on what we think about people when we‘re observing them I‘m sure we‘d all be cringing! @Zuhkeeyah @Bookwormjillk @Chelsea.Poole @JamieArc 3w

squirrelbrain @Lesliereadsalot @dgrachel @suet624 - I definitely feel like people are judging me, and not in a good way - says something about my insecurities! 😬 Having said that, it doesn‘t stop me from eating out alone, as long as I have something to read. 😝 (edited) 3w

squirrelbrain @Deblovestoread - I can imagine we‘re probably worse in the UK at jumping to the most negative conclusion- we do like to put people down. 😬 3w

squirrelbrain @JenP @ChaoticMissAdventures - I agree that many (negative) opinions can be gendered or racialised so her allusions to her age and race probably make her more acutely aware of being judged, or a perception of being judged. 3w

squirrelbrain @amyg - great point about her being an actress and how that impacts on her perceptions - I think we‘ll be able to explore this more next week as well. 3w

squirrelbrain @BkClubCare - no, don‘t panic! It was only a couple of short scenes at the start, but they raise interesting questions about perceptions and bias. 3w

Megabooks Sorry I am so late to the party @squirrelbrain !! I‘m going to look through the comments now. Crazy Saturday here! 3w

Megabooks @Zuhkeeyah agree that the Paris experience affected her feelings about the NYC waiter. That‘s a good point, too, @TrishB ! 3w

Megabooks @Deblovestoread I have a funny picture of my dad and I under my hinge profile, but I wonder whether people think he‘s an ex or current. I‘m his mini-me though, so I hope not!! 3w

Megabooks @AmyG that is a good point that her profession influences her perception. I was having a conversation with a friend and she said it sounded like I was working through a diagnostic algorithm, and after being in vet med, I kind of think that way. 3w

BkClubCare @squirrelbrain - okay 😝 and, yes, Kitamura rarely but quite interestingly mentions race and then… let‘s us think about it. She is very much an author who does not TELL. I just don‘t quite know what she SHOWs! 🤓🤪 3w

Kitta @RaeLovesToRead I totally had no idea who the Paris waiter was despite just reading this half a few days ago! I saw the question posted this morning and was like “the what?? Who??” 😂 3w

Kitta @BkClubCare same thoughts here! 😂 what scene in Paris?? 3w

julieclair You can take me off the tag list for this one if that‘s easier for you…. my hold is still at least 2 weeks away from coming in. 😢 3w

willaful You can take me off too, just really wasn't in the mod for experimental fiction. 3w

BkClubCare @Kitta - whew 😅 I had a Percival Everett Telephone flashback about different versions! (edited) 3w

Christine @JenP Good points! And are you thinking about the looking-glass self concept from social psych? I was too! 3w

Reggie Ummm I totally don‘t remember Paris. 3w

TheBookHippie @julieclair so is mine 🤦🏻‍♀️ 3w

MeganAnn Some excellent points so far! I agree that the earlier experience in Paris played into how she may be feeling judged now in NYC. I also think as women we sometimes tend to feel others are judging us more than they actually are which seems like a sort of direct response to the way society sees us. We feel like we have to look or act a certain way to be liked or admired, therefore people must be judging how we look/act… especially for an actress. 3w

Meshell1313 Love hearing what everyone thinks! I agree it‘s about perception vs. reality. 3w

CarolynM Like @TrishB I think she feels judged because she judges others. She is definitely judging Xavier. As for the waiters, I think it might be about the kind of restaurants they work in. If they get a lot of self important types who treat them rudely I'm sure they become judgemental very quickly! 3w

BarbaraBB Great start of the discussion. I agree with @TrishB that people are quick to judge and I think as an actress the narrator is used to that - being looked at and being judged. Like @AmyG says it‘s all about how she perceives things. 3w

BarbaraBB So happy we started Camp! Thank you @squirrelbrain and @Megabooks 💝 3w

Butterfinger Through the entire book, I was thinking that as an actress, she has to study facial expressions and figure out what emotions are being felt. As @AmyG says. I get paranoid when I enter a restaurant or theater and make eye contact with another patron. I instantly think, I am already being judged - not dressed correctly, too abrasive, etc. 3w

AmyG Hahahahahaha…@Reggie….me neither. 3w

squirrelbrain @julieclair @willaful - I‘ll try to remember to take you off the master list for next week. 3w

squirrelbrain @meganann - I‘d love to know for sure that I wasn‘t being as judged as I feel I am! 😬 3w

squirrelbrain @CarolynM - great point about the waiters. Although I don‘t think anything excuses the Paris one, I‘m sure the MC was probably acting in a certain way in NYC to attract that (perceived) judgement. 3w

squirrelbrain @Butterfinger - totally agree! I never feel quite right, wherever I go. 😞 3w

JenP @Christine yes! I teach it as spotlight bias but same concept. Spotlight bias as a name is particularly relevant for this book! 3w

Roary47 @BkClubCare I thought the same thing! I agree with many of you that the Waitress(er) had work on the mind. I worked fast food so I don‘t have that experience, but if a customer‘s small talk turned into a long talk we had a high sign to get called out so we could get our busy tasks completed. I liked what a lot of people mentioned about being an actor and thinking about these dramas. I can see that for her character. 3w

Well-ReadNeck Interesting discussion. Love the observation that it‘s her perception of the judgment but also, when u know you know. And, foreshadowing for later, I think. A bit: people see what they want to see. And in their first meeting, the feeling of awkwardness and something is not quite right here could probably be picked up on. 3w

Well-ReadNeck … I think the author used the waiter to show the reader vibe 3w

squirrelbrain Yes @Roary47 - she seems a really actory-actor, very over the top in a way. 3w

squirrelbrain There‘s definitely some foreshadowing there. @Well-ReadNeck 3w

BookwormAHN I agree. I think the waiter in Paris made her paranoid, although as someone who hangs out with her father a lot, it can feel weird on occasions, and I have been asked if I was his wife. And even worse, the one time I was asked if my younger brother was our son 🤦🏼‍♀️ 3w

Kitta Are there other questions posted for discussion? I‘m only seeing this one @squirrelbrain 3w

Kitta Oh wait I found them, I wasn‘t tagged I think? 3w

squirrelbrain @kitta - we‘re only tagging the first post each week this time around. Litsy is slowly getting glitchier and it can take 10/15 minutes to add the tags to each post. 3w

squirrelbrain @BookwormAHN - oh no Ashley! 🤦‍♀️ 3w

Kitta @squirrelbrain makes sense! I just was expecting the posts as 1, 2, 3 on your profile not 3, 2, 1! 3w

GatheringBooks I am super late to this party - it was our 27th year wedding anniversary (34 years in total) weekend - and had very little time to check the goings-on here. I love the question - love how it surfaces the typically unnoticed but also goes to the heart of things we do: oftentimes not for our own benefit (arguably) but for others‘ - with the paranoia, defensiveness, and rationalizations that entails - plus all the neurotic self-presentation. 3w

squirrelbrain Congratulations! 🥂@GatheringBooks It‘s my 27th wedding anniversary soon too! Glad you liked the question - great response! 3w

66 likes80 comments

squirrelbrain

Audition | Katie Kitamura

#camplitsy25

There are two contrasting narratives going on in this first part of the book. Is one true and one not, or are they both in question?

What about the pregnancy - who was correct, the journalist or the MC?

What do you think are Xavier's intentions? Is he her son or does he have another reason for getting in touch with the MC?

Megabooks, BarbaraBB

mcctrish I found this confusing - is the MC trying to be obtuse with everyone? The way the article was worded and Xavier‘s back story = a possibilty of parentage but also a long shot and a pretty bold way to lead into meeting up. But why does she talk in riddles ?! 3w

kspenmoll I was not sure who to believe - initially I was thinking it was a way for him to get to meet her again- also creepy if he did adopt her mannerisms but again, that is through her eyes. As she is an actress, when is she blurting the lines of her real life & her art? 3w

TrishB I think at this point he may feel he‘s her son. But it seems very weird the way he goes about it. 3w

See All 50 Comments

Bookwormjillk I‘m not sure I can answer this one! I‘m just buckled in waiting to see what happens 😂 3w

Zuhkeeyah I believe the MC‘s narrative. She made a clear statement in an interview that was obfuscated by the reporter because of the tension surrounding such a decision. I think Xavier took the job to get close to the MC despite the lunch conversation. The waters start to muddy when she begins to imagine what it would be like if he was her son. She‘s projecting her perceptions/wishes onto the relationship between him and the director. 3w

JamieArc I do believe the MC. It feels bold of Xavier to have believed so strongly from little evidence that he was her son. Regarding the journalist, it makes me wonder that while the MC was obviously comfortable sharing about her abortion, I wonder if it was still taboo to share openly about, which could have influenced the journalist. This is probably not true, but just a wondering. 3w

DGRachel I believed her version of events and was concerned about his mental state and her safety. But the whole thing feels weird. I can see a reporter skewing quotes to fit the narrative they want to sell more easily than the MC making up a story about an abortion. 3w

Lesliereadsalot I believe the MC and I think Xavier is just trying to get ahead and make connections wherever he can. He reads a narrative that he likes, and slides into it. An opportunist! 3w

sarahbarnes I‘m with @Lesliereadsalot - it feels like Xavier is trying to get his foot in the door in the industry, and the MC is a well-known actor. To me it seems he saw the article and made a decision to use it to his advantage, not knowing the whole story. 3w

RaeLovesToRead I read it as wishful thinking on Xavier's part. He made assumptions which the MC then corrected. I didn't really feel any conflict between those narratives in Part One. But there is tension. And you get the impression there's more bubbling under the surface than what you'd get with a simple misunderstanding. The whole vibe was off. And it was this unsettling feel that made this book so irresistibly compelling to me. 3w

vonnie862 I am not sure about either of them. I can see how Xavier may be trying to use the MC but I can also see the MC denying her past so she could continue acting. 3w

Suet624 I agree with @Lesliereadsalot -this guy feels like a chameleon who figures out ways to slide into a relationship/situation for his own benefit. 3w

Deblovestoread I believe the MC more than Xavier. His getting a job where her play is makes him suspicious. 3w

Jas16 I was with @vonnie862 and didn‘t especially believe either of them. Just wanted to see what was going to come next. 3w

Ruthiella I agree with everyone who feels we are getting the MCs best estimation of the truth. She is also perplexed by Xaviers‘s motives. 3w

AmyG I believed the MC as…she is the main character and I had no reason not to believe her. I did find it suspicious that he was working on the play and believed her to be his mother. BELIEVED. Is his belief truth? I keep thinking….per Seinfeld‘s George Costanza…..it‘s not a lie if you believe it. I kept reading to find out what was true but then part 2. I found the first part‘s story very odd. 3w

DGRachel @RaeLovesToRead That‘s the perfect way to explain how I felt through the whole thing - “the vibes were off” and that weirdness is what made me keep turning pages. 3w

jenniferw88 I agree with @DGRachel about the reporter. I don't know what to make of Xavier... he does seem to be an opportunist, but I'm reading the MC as a POC and him possibly mixed-race? And most of the theatre crew as white, so I don't know 🤷🏻‍♀️ ! 3w

ChaoticMissAdventures At this point I believe MC. even if we are just getting her POV it is creepy for X to tell her what he believes and then take a job with Anne. There is blatant motive there even if we are not sure what the end game is. IT is bizarre to me as someone who is adopted that someone would approach another person like this. With just a we look alike and I read an article - most people have unrelated doppelgangers. (1/2) 3w

ChaoticMissAdventures Even if the article made it sound like she had the kid, it wasn't like a date was given of the birth. X needs to take a DNA test or something to help with that curiosity! I cannot imagine just going up to a stranger like that. If nothing else he has gumption! (2/2) 3w

squirrelbrain @mcctrish - I thought she was talking in riddles too! She did seem to wonder if he *could* be her son, which I found a bit odd when she was also categorically certain she‘d never given birth. And, yes, @vonnie862 I thought it might be something to do with her hanging on to her acting career. 3w

squirrelbrain Certainly, the fact that he adopted some of the MC‘s mannerisms made him seem creepy / an opportunist, and more so that he then got a job and seemed to ingratiate himself with the rest of the team very quickly. @kspenmoll @TrishB @Lesliereadsalot @sarahbarnes @Suet624 @RaeLovesToRead @DGRachel @ChaoticMissAdventures 3w

squirrelbrain @Zuhkeeyah - it‘s interesting, isn‘t it, that the MC claims she was quite clear about the abortion? She also says the journalist agreed with her that even the word itself should be used more frequently but then went on to obfuscate and use different terminology. I wonder if, again, this is the MC obfuscating rather than the journalist? @JamieArc @jenniferw88 @DGRachel 3w

squirrelbrain @AmyG - what I struggled with is that the MC seemed to believe in Xavier‘s belief at times. Why didn‘t she tell him straight out, or tell anyone else including her husband what was going on, if indeed she knew him to be a fraudster. 3w

Megabooks @JamieArc or I wonder if her management team could have interfered with her sharing openly about abortion. It seems so many people have a vested stake in successful actresses staying successful that I think they have some sway over media, too. 3w

Megabooks @Lesliereadsalot @sarahbarnes he‘s definitely working every angle!!! 3w

Megabooks @vonnie862 they are both unreliable narrators to a degree. I think that‘s part of what makes this book interesting. I‘m a fan of unreliable narrators! @jas16 (edited) 3w

JamieArc @Megabooks Good point 3w

peaKnit I agree with many that the MC was more believable, she‘d know if she had a child…and in this day of DNA, seems easy to debunk. X‘s motives were suspicious to me. 3w

ChaoticMissAdventures @squirrelbrain @megabooks @JamieArc I follow a lot of abortion rights activists and I fully think this situation is not only plausible but expected. Journalist and more so their editors use such coded and fake language around abortion (in the US). Rarely is the word allowed to just be printed especially if it is a happily successful situation. 3w

jenniferw88 I think the journalist probably did agree with the MC about abortion and used the word in her first copy, but received pressure from the editors to change it and so it didn't make the final cut. 3w

Meshell1313 @squirrelbrain exactly! No one was calling anyone out- there was a lot of pretending going on. 3w

CarolynM I don't see any reason to disbelieve the MC about the abortion. I think her feelings about her subsequent pregnancy and miscarriage are why she reacted to Xavier as she did. 3w

BarbaraBB Like most of you I have no reason not to believe the MC but I am surprised that she continues having contact with Xavier. If she had an abortion she obviously knows he‘s lying. Why continue that conversation and have lunch together? I especially wondered what‘s in it for her. 3w

MeganAnn @RaeLovesToRead yes, the bubbling under the surface, unsettling feeling is making this compulsively readable to me. 3w

MeganAnn I think the MC is definitely an unreliable narrator. I keep finding tiny moments where she will say/think something that doesn‘t align with what she said before. And Xavier does seem like a chameleon from one scene to the next, but since we aren‘t getting his inner thoughts it‘s hard to know if that is truth or how she is perceiving him. She seems to be pretending very hard & I don‘t know yet if that is on purpose or because she‘s lying to herself 3w

MeganAnn @BarbaraBB yes I was also wondering at the beginning why she would continue to have contact with him if he‘s clearly not her son. While I think we are supposed to believe her for now I keep getting these hints of “all is not as it seems” 3w

Butterfinger Each time I returned to the book, the history seemed altered. I have no idea whom to believe. I'm going to say the narrator since that's who is telling the story. By the end of Part 1, I was beginning to question my own sanity. 3w

Butterfinger Totally agree @MeganAnn 3w

squirrelbrain That‘s interesting @ChaoticMissAdventures that even the word, or discussion around it, can be so taboo. 3w

squirrelbrain @barbarabb @MeganAnn @Butterfinger - yes, she didn‘t seem to want to talk to him but also couldn‘t stay away from him. 🤷‍♀️ 3w

Roary47 Im thinking that there is blissful ignorance here. Could it be she had a late abortion that ended up child birth, and the baby started breathing in another room? She mentioned with her husband‘s desire to have children crushed with the miscarriage she didn‘t know what to do. I‘m just trying to think outside the box and maybe naivety. 3w

BookwormAHN @Roary47 I was wondering something similar or if she lied about the abortion because she never wanted to meet the kid. Mostly I don't trust either of them and I think it was weird he got the assistant job. 3w

Kitta I believe the MC but I don‘t like her. I don‘t understand her motivations and why she keeps lying to everyone about Xavier. She lied to the director about him being distant family, she lied by omission to her husband about meeting X and their relationship. These things will definitely come back to bite her in the ass. Why not be honest about their relationship or lack thereof? I‘m reminded a bit of All Fours in that I don‘t understand her at all. 3w

Kitta @ChaoticMissAdventures I agree it‘s very taboo, even now, and it‘s likely the journalist/editor didn‘t feel they could print it using abortion specifically. I got the feeling (and maybe I‘m wrong) that the article was somewhat old as well so it‘s likely even more unlikely they would have written specifically about abortion then. Not sure when then is though. 3w

squirrelbrain Yes, I don‘t like either of them 🤷‍♀️@Kitta @BookwormAHN 3w

GatheringBooks I enjoyed how surreal and unlikely everything is - plus the shifts in perspectives. There was something about the MC though that captivated me - maybe bec we are roughly same age? Or the fact that she‘s Asian? And who doesn‘t get intrigued by a may-december love affair. Xavier seemed more like a placeholder to the internal journey of the mc. He could be anyone - but has to be good looking and charming of course - and smart. Ticks off all boxes. 3w

Well-ReadNeck I believed MC 💯 I thought that there might be some attempt at massive gaslighting here, but …. Not quite where it goes 😉 3w

squirrelbrain That‘s a great thought @GatheringBooks - I love the phrase ‘placeholder to the internal journey of the MC‘. It‘s made me wonder if it‘s more external than internal though - is he holding a mirror up to her? 3w

squirrelbrain Are we even sure where it goes?! @Well-ReadNeck 3w

46 likes50 comments

squirrelbrain

Audition | Katie Kitamura

#camplitsy25

I hope I‘m not speaking out of turn, but a fair few of us Littens (me included!) would class ourselves as being in ‘middle age‘. 🤪 (never too old for summer camp though! 🤣)

Does the MC act like she is ‘middle-aged‘ ? Is there even a way we *should* be acting? Do you recognise yourself in the above quote?

Join us next week for the remainder of the book, where things get a lot more bizarre!

Megabooks, BarbaraBB

mcctrish I remember reading a book, it will come to me 👵🏻 where they went on and on about being middle aged at 40 all I could think of was ‘how rude‘ and now I‘m 60 and feel like it‘s more true despite being past the halfway mark, closer to just old. I think it‘s just misogyny speaking 3w

kspenmoll I don‘t think there is a prescribed way someone “middle age” should act. I had my son at 40 & any young mothers I met were going thru similar things as I was . Granted, I did connect with a 39 yr old first time mother & we spent time together with our kids. As a teacher in a HS I interact with staff of all ages, but I don‘t see age as a differential but experience, years of teaching. My English co-teacher could be my daughter but we have a ⬇️ 3w

kspenmoll ⬆️ relationship as equals both professionally & personally. The MC acts “ middle age” again I think due to her acting experiences & in her marriage if she is a reliable narrator…. (edited) 3w

See All 45 Comments

TrishB I don‘t think there is a prescribed way- but there‘s definitely unwritten expectations- I try not to listen to those too much as it‘s just more judgement 🤷‍♀️ she‘s not very reliable in the book though is she!! (edited) 3w

Zuhkeeyah I think this is more about the MC‘s expectation of middle age rather than what is actually happening. It‘s sounds like her star started rising in middle age instead of failing, but she‘s so focused on the idea of being older that she‘s not acknowledging how it doesn‘t fit her. 3w

JamieArc I don‘t think there is a prescribed way either (though I just entered my 40s and wonder if I am perceived as middle aged and what that even means 😂), but for the MC, I see it more as her long experience acting and being married. Doing something so long, you start to feel “old” in it perhaps. 3w

Lesliereadsalot I‘m firmly in the camp of age being a state of mind, but actresses seem to always be jealous of the younger women nipping at their heels. I agree with @Zuhkeeyah 3w

JenReadsAlot I don't think there is but my dermatologist called me middle aged at 44 and I was not happy 🤣 3w

DGRachel @JenReadsAlot My neurologist said something about me being “of a certain age” around my 40th birthday and I was like “excuse you, sir”. 😂 I definitely feel more middle age now at 50. 3w

sarahbarnes The MC seems focused on her age, which doesn‘t feel surprising in her profession (despite her current success to @Zukeeyah ‘s point). It feels like her career as an actor makes her overly focused on what it looks like to “be” anything, like it is hard for her to avoid scrutinizing her roles in real life just like she would a role on stage. That she feels change is harder at this age seems to be a source of anxiety ⬇️ 3w

sarahbarnes (cont) for her because to be successful as an actor, you have to be able to change to fit your current role. She feels consumed by whether she is still able to do this effectively. 3w

DGRachel I feel like the MC is constantly speaking as if she‘s performing, which is probably because she‘s a theatre actress. There‘s no right or wrong way to age, but as @TrishB said, there are certain societal expectations - thank you patriarchy. 🤬 3w

vonnie862 I don't think there's a specific way to act but there are similarities between people as they get older. The MC is an actress and probably feels that she has to act a certain way in order to maintain her life. 3w

Deblovestoread At 40 I would have told you 65 is leaning towards old, at 65 I do not think of myself as old. Although the world might want to label me as leaning towards geriatric I have found age is a number and the rest is attitude. 3w

Jas16 While I agree that there is no set way that every middle aged person acts I do understand the quote as I feel less inclined to change now that I am ostensibly middle aged. I know who I am and what I like, and don‘t feel the need to compromise on all of that the way I would have when I was younger. I have also, for better or worse, grown comfortable with my faults so change is more difficult and not something I am reaching for. 3w

Ruthiella @Zuhkeeyah I agree with your take here. The MC is dealing with two different trajectories and her extreme focus on her self makes it hard for her to balance these. 3w

AmyG I agree with @sarahbarnes about her thoughts about her age and changed. Yes, she is an actress and I got the feeling she feels the need to remain “young”….or even that she notices the youth in others and feels, very much, the difference between her and “them”. Yet she feels the need to keep up. Her experience in life, acting and age seem to make her resistant to change. There is great comfort in the status quo the older you get. 3w

jenniferw88 The MC feels much older than her age to me (thinking mid-50s) , but this may be because my parents had me in their late 30s and so would be considered middle-aged to her. I'm now approaching the ages that they had me, and I still consider myself young, not middle-aged! 3w

ChaoticMissAdventures I had to look up middle aged. “the period of life between young adulthood and old age, typically considered to be the ages between 40 and 60“ I also see maybe 45-65 I think this is seen much differently as an actress then it is seen by the general public. And even if we are spry for our age, I do think that we are treated differently in work and by society at large. It is interesting she says attrition, she seems to be getting more work? 3w

squirrelbrain I wonder if the fact that she got more work in her ‘middle age‘ has led her to be more worried about her age than not? @Zuhkeeyah 3w

squirrelbrain Great points @sarahbarnes @Lesliereadsalot @vonnie862 @AmyG , about her being an actress and that leading to more pressure to act in a ‘certain‘ way. 3w

squirrelbrain @ChaoticMissAdventures - I‘m right in middle-middle- age then! 🤣 3w

Megabooks @kspenmoll and Hollywood has a way of pushing many women out after 30-35, so her profession may make her more acutely aware of her age. 3w

Megabooks @DGRachel I do think she seems to live in a bubble where she seems to perform life rather than live it. Almost some kind of unreality. 3w

Megabooks @ChaoticMissAdventures I just turned 45 and I‘m starting to feel middle aged. I think the heavily into perimenopause also makes me feel that way, too. 3w

ChaoticMissAdventures @Megabooks @squirrelbrain I turn 45 in August. Everyone around me is obsessed with (peri)menopause. I am not feeling it yet but a couple of years ago my hair went from so straight a curling iron did nothing to completely curly! So things are a changing 😂. I am so glad there is more information out here for our generation then older ladies got. 3w

peaKnit @ChaoticMissAdventures I think “ obsessed” is a great way to describe the focus on menopause as we age…in some ways I think I personally was looking for the why to some changes after 50. I think it is common to feel invisible at this age and I can‘t even imagine how actresses endure. Men can be so out of shape and frumpy while women continue to have such different standards to meet. Sigh lol (edited) 3w

ChaoticMissAdventures @peaKnit how can we not be obsessed?? Men control the research so there is basically zero studies, and when you are having hot flashes and cannot sleep and your body is doing so many weird things it is impossible not to focus on it. I think it is even harder for non-A list actresses. Our MC says she is comfortable financially but that doesn't give her access to the care (medical/surgical/etc) a famous rich actress would have. 3w

peaKnit @ChaoticMissAdventures I could not agree more. Menopause is such a mystery in many ways and is poorly researched and few doctors seem to have a good handle on it/ specialize from my own experience looking for some expert advice. It‘s hard to know what is accurate information. Definitely harder for those further from privilege or the a-list. You‘re so right. 3w

Megabooks @ChaoticMissAdventures I am the first of my same-age friends. I‘ve been having symptoms for several years, but in 2024 they just went wild!! 3w

Meshell1313 @Megabooks yes- I think it‘s absolutely a commentary on Hollywood and how it‘s harder to get better roles the older you get. 3w

BarbaraBB I very much agree with what you say @Zuhkeeyah! 3w

BarbaraBB @ChaoticMissAdventures @peaKnit @Megabooks menopause is such a hot issue in literature as well. I‘ve read so many books recently touching upon the subject. I was thinking this one would turn out that way too in the end I don‘t think it‘s about being middle-aged 3w

CarolynM This book is giving me All About Eve vibes. Margot was 40 rather than 49. A small improvement in 75 years? 3w

Zuhkeeyah @squirrelbrain oh that‘s a good thought. Maybe part of the projection is realizing it took her longer to get where they are so she sees the end of her career coming that much sooner. 3w

Butterfinger The question makes me think of the part when the narrator calls her life "comfortable," because they didn't have children to feed, clothe, or send to college. Just turning 50, I think I should be feeling this, but nooooo. I definitely might be a tad more bossy than I was in my 20s and 30s toward my colleagues. I certainly don't want to make them feel weaker, but I do wish they could see and accept my wisdom. 3w

squirrelbrain Interesting thought! @CarolynM I hadn‘t thought of that, probably because I‘ve not seen the film 😬, although I know the plot. I wonder if it‘s different with Xavier being male, possibly not? And maybe that‘s why she can‘t stay away from him - she feels he‘s taking over her life and friends. 3w

BookwormAHN I don't doubt because of her acting she is even more sensitive about aging than a lot of us however I get the feeling that she was like this all her life. 3w

Kitta While I agree with everyone that age is just a number and there isn‘t a prescribed way to act if you‘re « middle aged », I think there‘s certain things society expects middle aged women not to do, that young people are permitted to do. Going out clubbing is definitely frowned upon and makes you seem like you don‘t have your life together if you‘re doing it at 40+. You‘re expected to be at home or at the pub if you want a drink, for example. ⬇️ 3w

Kitta Maybe she‘s feeling this pressure more as an actrice? She seems a combination of in her own world and also concerned with what others think of her - often projecting thoughts onto them based on her own insecurities. 3w

squirrelbrain Yes, definitely there are things we‘re not supposed to do and ways of behaviour that are frowned upon! @Kitta 3w

GatheringBooks Not sure about the “immutability” bit especially since I feel myself forever evolving - i suppose it helps that we have now lived in 3 countries, and where we live now is worlds different from where I was born - that infuses a sense of dynamism and mutability if you will in everything - always at the cusp of changing, in the process of becoming. I like being in a liminal stage more than being in a rigid unchanging state marked by attrition.🤷🏽‍♀️ 3w

GatheringBooks @Deblovestoread i love “the rest is attitude” - preach!!! Love it!! 3w

Well-ReadNeck Just turned 55 and I‘m experiencing middle age as the opposite. Much is/has been changing and it‘s a lot like adolescence in many ways, trying to figure out what‘s next in a twisty time. 3w

squirrelbrain So true @Well-ReadNeck - so many changes! And a lot of them like being a teenager, what with the hormones, the mood swings and the spots! 🤣 3w

48 likes45 comments

AnneCecilie

Audition | Katie Kitamura

youneverarrived This stood out to me, too. 3w

42 likes1 stack add1 comment

kspenmoll

Audition | Katie Kitamura

Finished part 1 for tomorrow‘s discussion #CampLitsy25
Right now I am intrigued as to where the novel is going. It has a kind of quiet forcefulness & an ambivalence to it. Not sure what I mean! I have to leave for a Friendly USA vs Turkey men‘s soccer game tomorrow mid morning but I will try & check in to discussion.

Megabooks, squirrelbrain, BarbaraBB

tpixie Fun color palette in your cozy corner 💙 (edited) 4w

Ruthiella Kitamura‘s novels are all about quiet forcefulness and ambivalence. 👍 (edited) 4w

Suet624 I‘m always a bit put off by this author but I‘m ready for Part 2. 4w

squirrelbrain Join in when you can! 👌 3w

67 likes4 comments

TheKidUpstairs

Audition | Katie Kitamura

Super excited for the first weekend of #CampLitsy25! Read (and loved) Part One of the tagged, so I'm all ready for this weekend's discussion.

There's a big hold list for Wild Dark Shore, so I'm reading ahead to get through it before it's due back. I'm about 50 pages in, and so far, it's fantastic. Definitely better than I was expecting after being disappointed in Migrations. But isolated islands are always my jam!

squirrelbrain It‘s nearly time for camp! ⛺️ 4w

BarbaraBB WDS is so your kind of book! But fist Audition indeed 💝 4w

Lesliereadsalot I could not put that book down, loved the whole thing! 3w

58 likes3 comments

RaeLovesToRead

Audition | Katie Kitamura

pick

I thought this was awesome.

After reading, I went on Goodreads and the reviews made me think I'd read it wrong!

If you've read it and you've got me on GR please read my spoilery thoughts and let me know what you think.

Because I wasn't confused until I read what others had to say!

Ruthiella I just commented on your GR review-my interpretation is the same. 👍 4w

RaeLovesToRead @Ruthiella Thank you so much... I now feel much saner haha. Reading it, I had an "a-ha! I get it" moment toward the end and it reconfigured the novel and things slotted into sense (while still being creepy and clever!) Then I read the other GR reviews and was like.... did we read the same book? ? Kitamura's style lends itself very well to ambiguity, but I definitely read Part One and Part Two in the way that I outlined in my review ? 4w

Caroline2 Oh I am really intrigued now. 🤔 reading other reviews it definitely seems like a marmite book. 4w

See All 12 Comments

RaeLovesToRead @Caroline2 I found myself very compelled! Read the book before you read my interpretation though 😊 4w

BarbaraBB I can‘t find your GR review! 4w

RaeLovesToRead @BarbaraBB Are we not friends, Barbara????? I'll try to find a link... 4w

RaeLovesToRead @BarbaraBB https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/35995783-rae 4w

RaeLovesToRead That's my profile. Can't seem to link to actual review because it just offers me "Edit"... if you look on recent activity it should be there 4w

sarahbarnes I loved this one too! Excited to hear your thoughts on it. 4w

BarbaraBB Found you! Strange I couldn‘t find you by typing your name in ‘search users‘. However, great review. I read it the way you did too. It still didn‘t make much sense to me though 😀 4w

The_Book_Ninja @RaeLovesToRead I read your review and I agree with the synopsis. It‘s all play acting. Xavier failed the audition 3w

RaeLovesToRead @The_Book_Ninja Yes! That's a good way of putting it! 3w

63 likes1 stack add12 comments

Texreader

Audition | Katie Kitamura

The lengthy library hold somehow got shortened and I got this book today and have read chapter 1. A little nervous going in after reading the reviews…

#camplitsy @Megabooks @squirrelbrain @BarbaraBB

BarbaraBB At least it‘s short and very readable 😀 4w

squirrelbrain What @barbarabb said! 😉 4w

Bookwormjillk I started it yesterday too. I‘m just going with it. 4w

66 likes1 stack add3 comments

DGRachel

Audition | Katie Kitamura

so-so

WTF?

I honestly don‘t know how to rate this. It‘s so far outside of my comfort zone as to be in another universe entirely. I am so grateful that my library had a copy and I didn‘t spend money on it. #CampLitsy25 discussion is definitely going to be interesting. 🤨

Megabooks, squirrelbrain, BarbaraBB

DGRachel (Also…this is my June #bookspin so yay for getting that checked off) @TheAromaofBooks 4w

squirrelbrain Yes, I think many of us are hoping for enlightenment from the #camplitsy discussions! 🤔 4w

Graciouswarriorprincess I‘m just starting this. 4w

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AmyG I keep thinking about this book so it must be…good? 4w

DGRachel @AmyG I don‘t know that I‘d go that far 🤣🤣🤣 But I will admit that as much as I kept questioning what the heck was going on and wanting to bail, I could. not. stop turning pages, so there‘s that. 4w

AmyG @DHRachel I kept reading because I thought that the point of the story would reveal itself. It never did. 😳 4w

DGRachel @AmyG I feel you on that! I wanted to know what was going on and I never found out! 🤪 4w

TheAromaofBooks Great progress!!! 4w

BarbaraBB @DGRachel @AmyG My thoughts exactly 😳 4w

59 likes9 comments

BkClubCare

Audition | Katie Kitamura

so-so

Uh. . .

What WAS that?!

Cannot wait to discuss this! #CampLitsy2025
#June2025 Book51 (and yes, the plant is called Mouse Barley (aka Foxtail) which the bane of dog paws 🐾 everywhere and it is horrifically prolific this year in my neighborhood!)

BkClubCare Notes to self: really impressed with the writing, the style, the sentence structure and vocabulary. It felt like either 2 versions of a story, or unreliable narrator, or delusions vs exploring alternate realities, or two different stories!! But wowza. Never bored (tho I could imagine a few of my reader friends HATING it 😂) 4w

Ruthiella My backyard is full of foxtails. It‘s a never ending battle in the summer and the weeds usually win. We‘ve been to the vet already once to get Penny‘s ears checked. 4w

ChaoticMissAdventures Foxtails are a cure!! I am really curious for people on this book... Have you ever read Mona Award? 4w

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squirrelbrain I‘m looking forward to the discussions, and hopefully some answers too! 🤪 4w

BkClubCare @ChaoticMissAdventures - yes! I have read 2 of Awad‘s, I think. She seems more straightforward or I plugged into her whacky more? All good. I liked Kitamura‘s prior book - similar vibe. 4w

BkClubCare @ChaoticMissAdventures - the stickers get into Copper‘s paws like magnets. 4w

ChaoticMissAdventures @BkClubCare I meant curse! Silly autocorrect. I don't have dogs but I walk my bff's often and learned about them when she got the dog. Awful things! I just found the dream like quality of Audition to feel (to me) similar to cannot wait to discuss!

Rouge

51 likes7 comments

peaKnit

Audition | Katie Kitamura

pick

I found this brief book intriguing but I feel limited on who to recommend it to. Do you know that feeling? I liked this book but can‘t put my finger on exactly why…Divided into two parts - same characters different roles. I enjoyed the author‘s writing style and her choice of words such as sanguine and pique, words I want to eat they are so delicious. I won‘t say more as it is a #camplitsy pick but I cannot wait to discuss.

Lesliereadsalot Me too! 1mo

squirrelbrain Great (non!) review 🤪 - well done for keeping it all inside! 🤣 1mo

peaKnit @squirrelbrain and @Lesliereadsalot Ladies, my spelling errors! This is my reminder to wear bifocals when tying on my phone 😳🤣 1mo

39 likes3 comments

peaKnit

Audition | Katie Kitamura

Great night for #hyggehourreadathon - on the deck starting #camplitsy book. 📕 made a nice dinner for the family before and felt relaxed during and after my reading session.

@AllDebooks @TheBookHippie @Chrissyreadit

TheBookHippie Looks wonderful! 1mo

22 likes1 comment

mcctrish

Audition | Katie Kitamura

#camplitsy has commenced - I love the 🌈 ish cover

46 likes

Lesliereadsalot

Audition | Katie Kitamura

pick

Finished this short book in one day for #CampLitsy25. Who is this woman who narrates two different stories about her life, either or neither of which could be true? And what exactly is her relationship with young Xavier, is it good or bad? And her husband fits into both of these stories as well. A lot to unpack, will look forward to discussing in a couple of weeks.

squirrelbrain Yes, there‘s certainly a lot to unpack! 🤔 1mo

sarahbarnes Agreed! Looking forward to discussing this one! 1mo

25 likes2 comments

Graciouswarriorprincess

Audition | Katie Kitamura

June hopeful reads. This is only the physical books. I have some audiobooks and ebooks that I will be reading throughout the month.

JamieArc I‘ve had Hot Dog Girl on my summer reading list for a while now. Hoping this is the summer I finally get to it 🤞🏻 1mo

Graciouswarriorprincess @JamieArc Fingers crossed for you! 😊🌭 1mo

willaful @JamieArc That's on my TBR, I don't even remember why! Maybe you two will inspire me. 1mo

Graciouswarriorprincess @willaful 😊👍🏻📚 1mo

45 likes4 comments

Graciouswarriorprincess

Audition | Katie Kitamura

I‘m actually off today, a rare day off so getting ready to start the June #camplitsy25.

Megabooks, Barbara, squirrelbrain

Megabooks I hope you‘re having a great weekend!! 1mo

Graciouswarriorprincess @Megabooks Thank you!😊 1mo

50 likes2 comments

BarbaraJean

Audition | Katie Kitamura

I added a third library card this week, just so I could get in a shorter holds line for Audition. 4 weeks is better than 18 (or 10 for the audiobook, or 37th place out of 51 people waiting for one of 18 print copies), but I may still be late arriving at camp. 😂 #CampLitsy25

Megabooks, squirrelbrain, BarbaraBB

AmyG I hope many bail so you can get it sooner. 🤣 1mo

BarbaraJean @AmyG 😂😂 I‘m banking on the fact that it‘s short, so even if people don‘t bail, they should finish more quickly!! 1mo

squirrelbrain Yeah, hopefully you should be OK, looking at that! 🤞 It‘s really short as well, so even if you only arrive at camp in week 2 you can still join in! 1mo

See All 11 Comments

Texreader I‘m having the same problem!! 1mo

Roary47 I finally got it today. 🥹 (edited) 1mo

Megabooks I hope you get it in time. Library holds can be crazy!! 😵‍💫 1mo

Megabooks @Roary47 yay!! 1mo

BarbaraJean @squirrelbrain @Megabooks I‘ll join the discussions whenever it arrives—hopefully by week 2!! Meanwhile I‘ve finished

Death of the Author: A Novel

1mo

BarbaraJean @Texreader 😩 Hope it arrives soon, for both of us!! I don‘t even want to think about where I am in line for Wild Dark Shore—that one‘s even less likely to make it to me this month ☹️ 1mo

Texreader @BarbaraJean I know!! I had to put every #camplitsy book on hold and who knows if any will make it in time. 1mo

BarbaraJean @Texreader SAME. They‘re all coming in the wrong order. The print version of Tilt is currently listed as “in transit” so I‘ll be reading July and August‘s books In June and who knows when I‘ll be reading June‘s books 😂 1mo

40 likes11 comments

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