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Audition | Katie Kitamura

📣 Hooray! It‘s the start of summer and our first day of #camplitsy25! 🎉

This week we‘re discussing Part One of Audition. As ever, if you‘ve read ahead, please try not to include spoilers for those who haven‘t.

Also, just to let you all know, we‘ll only be tagging the first question each week (due to #glitchylitsy making it a long task).

Your first question is up above and, if you‘ve read ahead scroll down you‘ll find the other two. Enjoy!

squirrelbrain @Addison_Reads @AmyG @amiable @BarbaraJean @Bkclubcare @BooksandCoffee4me @Bookbuyingaddict @booknaround @BookwormAHN @Bookwormjillk @Butterfinger @Cariashley @Caroline2 @CarolynM 1w

squirrelbrain @catgusmax @cbee @ChaoticMissAdventures @Chelsea.Poole @Christine @CogsOfEncouragement @Cseydel @Cuilin @Dabbe @Daisey @Debinhawaii @Deblovestoread @DGRachel @ErikasMindfulshelf 1w

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@flaneurette @fredthemoose @Gatheringbooks @gissy @Graciouswarriorprincess @Hooked_on_books 1w

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squirrelbrain @ImperfectCJ @JamieArc @Jas16 @Jenniferw88 @JenP @Jenreadsalot @Jess @Jhod @JoyBlue @JulesG @julieclair @KarenUK 1w

squirrelbrain
@karisa @Kitta @Kristy-K @Kspenmoll @kwmg40 @Larkken @Laughterhp @LeeRHarry @Leniverse @Lesliereadsalot @maggie4483 @maich @Mcctrish @MeganAnn @Merelybookish @Meshell1313 @Monalyisha @Oryx 1w

squirrelbrain @peaknit @peanutnine @Prairiegirl_reading @PuddleJumper @quietjenn @Read4Life @RaeLovesToRead @reggie @rockpools @Roary47 @Ruthiella @Sace @Sapphire @Sarahbarnes @Soubhiville 1w

squirrelbrain @skygoddess1 @Suet624 @Susanita @TheBookHippie @Thekidupstairs @Triplem80 @TrishB @Vonnie862 @Well-ReadNeck @willaful @youneverarrived @zuhkeeyah 1w

Sapphire I thought the waiters reaction in NYC was imagined/projected from her own anxieties and presumption. However in Paris the overt assumption is Clear with the note. So that earlier experience would also influence why she thinks the wait staff take such notice of what is happening at tables beyond who needs ketchup , more wine, is rude, or likely to tip well or poorly. 1w

mcctrish @Sapphire I agree. The Paris waiter was cringe but now the MC is 🤣 1w

kspenmoll Agree with ypu both @Sapphire @mcctrish She was so jumpy /anxious in NYC- she did impose her assumptions on the wait staff‘s facial expressions, actions-she was so conscious of the age difference between Xavier & herself. 1w

Zuhkeeyah Yes! The Paris waiter set a precedent for her brain that came into play once the old/young positions were flipped. Not sure if it says much about our society. I don‘t think many ppl jump to such conclusions just based on who is sitting at a table together. I will say we all certainly enjoy making up stories when ppl watching. 1w

Bookwormjillk @Zuhkeeyah I agree- in general people just don‘t think about each other that much 1w

TrishB I think because she judges people she assumed others were judging her. Unlike @Zuhkeeyah and @Bookwormjillk I think people do this all the time when they‘re people watching! 1w

Chelsea.Poole Seems like everyone is so worried about how they are being perceived to do much thinking about anyone else lol @Bookwormjillk 1w

JamieArc @TrishB Totally agree with you about the judging dynamic. 1w

Lesliereadsalot So insecure to think other people were looking at her and judging her. Has anybody reading this ever once felt other people in a restaurant were looking at them? I personally have never felt that, unless I was with someone creating a scene. 1w

mcctrish @Bookwormjillk I think you are totally right, most people are self involved and don‘t bother with other people but now I‘m wondering if her being famous plays into her feelings of being watched/judged 1w

DGRachel I agree with @TrishB about people watching judgements. I also think she was extra sensitive because of the reason they were meeting. But I also think we have to consider that this is her perception of what is happening, and I think it‘s obvious even in part one that she is an unreliable narrator. 1w

DGRachel @Lesliereadsalot I have definitely felt like strangers were looking at me and judging me, but as you noted, it‘s insecurity. When I feel uncomfortable in my own skin or with the social situation, I am constantly alert for stares/glares/whispers behind my back. 1w

JenReadsAlot @Zuhkeeyah Totalky agree 1w

RaeLovesToRead Oh man, I forgot about that Paris waiter! 😫 People make assumptions about the people around them all the time. I think it would usually take more than the relative ages of two people having dinner to decide their relationship to each other. Their appearance, body language, behaviour, all form part of the impression. And the MC is assuming what people are assuming so there's another level of projection there. 1w

JenP I think past experiences shape how we interpret other events later on and in the first case it was clear that there were judgments being made. And while I do agree we think that others are thinking about us more than they really do (a concept proven in social psychology, I also think there is a reality to people making assumptions about certain scenarios and many of those scenarios are gendered. She was also famous so in that case, focus is there 1w

Suet624 @DGRachel @Lesliereadsalot Yes! I often feel like people are looking at me and judging me. It‘s both insecurity and actual reality. 😊 1w

vonnie862 @TrishB I agree. When one is insecure, they often feel like people are judging them. 1w

Deblovestoread My dad and I often go out to dinner in his local area and believe me you can tell when the wait staff is thinking May/December rather than familial. I think in the US we tend to jump to the most negative conclusion first. 1w

Deblovestoread I agree @TrishB 1w

Jas16 Same @Suet624 . I also liked her feeling that the host is reassessing his snap judgments about Xavier and where he seated them based on her jewelry and expensive clothes. I have felt that way and didn‘t care much but I had a boss once who would get very angry about where his table was in restaurants because of how he felt he was being judged. 1w

Ruthiella I enjoy people watching and sometimes I do make up narratives that in my head. But when I was waitressing, I had little time to do that, personally. Managing multiple tables did not allow for it! Only with repeat customers / regulars did I have the luxury of thinking beyond what they ordered and getting paid. The narrator is over sensitive here, IMO. She thinks people are paying attention to her and they are probably not. (edited) 1w

AmyG The MC is an actress. I think because of that, she notices (or percieves) every emotion with every person she comes in contactwith. It‘s the constant reading and perceiving (judging, also) of others emotions. Does she do this for her profession, the studying of peope? I think so. And I think that we must take into account HER perception of these emotions. It‘s ALL how she perceives things. Another might perceive things differently. 1w

jenniferw88 A common question when we're out as a family eating is 'what do you think the relationship between those people are', so I think the MC is right with fellow customers, but I agree with @Ruthiella that the servers probably don't have time to think about them. 1w

ChaoticMissAdventures @Lesliereadsalot @dgrachel I rarely think people are, but occasionally, especially when I look up and see the same people staring at me over and over. But I do wonder if it is racialized? All of the diners are Asian in white spaces. I often notice that when I am out with my partner (who is Black, I am white) we get a lot more stares and the waiters judgments are insanely obvious. I agree with @JenP past experiences shape how we see a situation 1w

ChaoticMissAdventures @Ruthiella totally agree, I go to the same cafe every sunday to read, and have a friend who does the same, and we eavesdrop on everyone and we judge... but working mostly people never have the time, but I also agree with @Deblovestoread you can for sure tell if the waiter is judging you. Both can be true I think. And I think women are more aware of negative attention like this. 1w

ChaoticMissAdventures I found it interesting the second time I think they meet after Xavier has told her why he was seeking her out, she thinks the waiters see them as mother /son. Which made me believe that the first restaurant experience with them was her imagination of being judges. I do think that her sex and race have a lot to do with why she believes people are looking and judging her. She talks a lot about how being Asian in her job and life has people judging 1w

BkClubCare Uh, I don‘t remember these scenes. Paris? Oh dear, do I have to go reread this book? All of my thoughts and now recollections were about her marriage. 🤔 1w

Deblovestoread @ChaoticMissAdventures Agree that women are much more aware of negative attention for all kinds of reasons. And with @AmyG her being an actress it would be her job to notice. 1w

squirrelbrain @Sapphire @mcctrish @kspenmoll - I think she was also *wanting* to be looked at - the actor in her wants attention. 1w

squirrelbrain I agree @TrishB - I‘m sure most people are judge-y when we‘re people watching. If someone typed out our internal monologues on what we think about people when we‘re observing them I‘m sure we‘d all be cringing! @Zuhkeeyah @Bookwormjillk @Chelsea.Poole @JamieArc 1w

squirrelbrain @Lesliereadsalot @dgrachel @suet624 - I definitely feel like people are judging me, and not in a good way - says something about my insecurities! 😬 Having said that, it doesn‘t stop me from eating out alone, as long as I have something to read. 😝 (edited) 1w

squirrelbrain @Deblovestoread - I can imagine we‘re probably worse in the UK at jumping to the most negative conclusion- we do like to put people down. 😬 1w

squirrelbrain @JenP @ChaoticMissAdventures - I agree that many (negative) opinions can be gendered or racialised so her allusions to her age and race probably make her more acutely aware of being judged, or a perception of being judged. 1w

squirrelbrain @amyg - great point about her being an actress and how that impacts on her perceptions - I think we‘ll be able to explore this more next week as well. 1w

squirrelbrain @BkClubCare - no, don‘t panic! It was only a couple of short scenes at the start, but they raise interesting questions about perceptions and bias. 1w

Megabooks Sorry I am so late to the party @squirrelbrain !! I‘m going to look through the comments now. Crazy Saturday here! 1w

Megabooks @Zuhkeeyah agree that the Paris experience affected her feelings about the NYC waiter. That‘s a good point, too, @TrishB ! 1w

Megabooks @Deblovestoread I have a funny picture of my dad and I under my hinge profile, but I wonder whether people think he‘s an ex or current. I‘m his mini-me though, so I hope not!! 1w

Megabooks @AmyG that is a good point that her profession influences her perception. I was having a conversation with a friend and she said it sounded like I was working through a diagnostic algorithm, and after being in vet med, I kind of think that way. 1w

BkClubCare @squirrelbrain - okay 😝 and, yes, Kitamura rarely but quite interestingly mentions race and then… let‘s us think about it. She is very much an author who does not TELL. I just don‘t quite know what she SHOWs! 🤓🤪 1w

Kitta @RaeLovesToRead I totally had no idea who the Paris waiter was despite just reading this half a few days ago! I saw the question posted this morning and was like “the what?? Who??” 😂 1w

Kitta @BkClubCare same thoughts here! 😂 what scene in Paris?? 7d

julieclair You can take me off the tag list for this one if that‘s easier for you…. my hold is still at least 2 weeks away from coming in. 😢 7d

willaful You can take me off too, just really wasn't in the mod for experimental fiction. 7d

BkClubCare @Kitta - whew 😅 I had a Percival Everett Telephone flashback about different versions! (edited) 7d

Christine @JenP Good points! And are you thinking about the looking-glass self concept from social psych? I was too! 7d

Reggie Ummm I totally don‘t remember Paris. 7d

TheBookHippie @julieclair so is mine 🤦🏻‍♀️ 7d

MeganAnn Some excellent points so far! I agree that the earlier experience in Paris played into how she may be feeling judged now in NYC. I also think as women we sometimes tend to feel others are judging us more than they actually are which seems like a sort of direct response to the way society sees us. We feel like we have to look or act a certain way to be liked or admired, therefore people must be judging how we look/act… especially for an actress. 7d

Meshell1313 Love hearing what everyone thinks! I agree it‘s about perception vs. reality. 7d

CarolynM Like @TrishB I think she feels judged because she judges others. She is definitely judging Xavier. As for the waiters, I think it might be about the kind of restaurants they work in. If they get a lot of self important types who treat them rudely I'm sure they become judgemental very quickly! 7d

BarbaraBB Great start of the discussion. I agree with @TrishB that people are quick to judge and I think as an actress the narrator is used to that - being looked at and being judged. Like @AmyG says it‘s all about how she perceives things. 7d

BarbaraBB So happy we started Camp! Thank you @squirrelbrain and @Megabooks 💝 7d

Butterfinger Through the entire book, I was thinking that as an actress, she has to study facial expressions and figure out what emotions are being felt. As @AmyG says. I get paranoid when I enter a restaurant or theater and make eye contact with another patron. I instantly think, I am already being judged - not dressed correctly, too abrasive, etc. 7d

AmyG Hahahahahaha…@Reggie….me neither. 6d

squirrelbrain @julieclair @willaful - I‘ll try to remember to take you off the master list for next week. 6d

squirrelbrain @meganann - I‘d love to know for sure that I wasn‘t being as judged as I feel I am! 😬 6d

squirrelbrain @CarolynM - great point about the waiters. Although I don‘t think anything excuses the Paris one, I‘m sure the MC was probably acting in a certain way in NYC to attract that (perceived) judgement. 6d

squirrelbrain @Butterfinger - totally agree! I never feel quite right, wherever I go. 😞 6d

JenP @Christine yes! I teach it as spotlight bias but same concept. Spotlight bias as a name is particularly relevant for this book! 6d

Roary47 @BkClubCare I thought the same thing! I agree with many of you that the Waitress(er) had work on the mind. I worked fast food so I don‘t have that experience, but if a customer‘s small talk turned into a long talk we had a high sign to get called out so we could get our busy tasks completed. I liked what a lot of people mentioned about being an actor and thinking about these dramas. I can see that for her character. 6d

Well-ReadNeck Interesting discussion. Love the observation that it‘s her perception of the judgment but also, when u know you know. And, foreshadowing for later, I think. A bit: people see what they want to see. And in their first meeting, the feeling of awkwardness and something is not quite right here could probably be picked up on. 6d

Well-ReadNeck … I think the author used the waiter to show the reader vibe 6d

squirrelbrain Yes @Roary47 - she seems a really actory-actor, very over the top in a way. 6d

squirrelbrain There‘s definitely some foreshadowing there. @Well-ReadNeck 6d

BookwormAHN I agree. I think the waiter in Paris made her paranoid, although as someone who hangs out with her father a lot, it can feel weird on occasions, and I have been asked if I was his wife. And even worse, the one time I was asked if my younger brother was our son 🤦🏼‍♀️ 5d

Kitta Are there other questions posted for discussion? I‘m only seeing this one @squirrelbrain 5d

Kitta Oh wait I found them, I wasn‘t tagged I think? 5d

squirrelbrain @kitta - we‘re only tagging the first post each week this time around. Litsy is slowly getting glitchier and it can take 10/15 minutes to add the tags to each post. 5d

squirrelbrain @BookwormAHN - oh no Ashley! 🤦‍♀️ 5d

Kitta @squirrelbrain makes sense! I just was expecting the posts as 1, 2, 3 on your profile not 3, 2, 1! 5d

GatheringBooks I am super late to this party - it was our 27th year wedding anniversary (34 years in total) weekend - and had very little time to check the goings-on here. I love the question - love how it surfaces the typically unnoticed but also goes to the heart of things we do: oftentimes not for our own benefit (arguably) but for others‘ - with the paranoia, defensiveness, and rationalizations that entails - plus all the neurotic self-presentation. 4d

squirrelbrain Congratulations! 🥂@GatheringBooks It‘s my 27th wedding anniversary soon too! Glad you liked the question - great response! 4d

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