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Spinster
Spinster: Making a Life of One's Own | Kate Bolick
A New York Times Book ReviewNotable BookWhom to marry, and when will it happenthese two questions define every womans existence. So begins Spinster, a revelatory and slyly erudite look at the pleasures and possibilities of remaining single. Using her own experiences as a starting point, journalist and cultural critic Kate Bolick invites us into her carefully considered, passionately lived life, weaving together the past and present to examine why shealong with over 100 million American women, whose ranks keep growingremains unmarried.This unprecedented demographic shift, Bolick explains, is the logical outcome of hundreds of years of change that has neither been fully understood, nor appreciated. Spinster introduces a cast of pioneering women from the last century whose genius, tenacity, and flair for drama have emboldened Bolick to fashion her life on her own terms: columnist Neith Boyce, essayist Maeve Brennan, social visionary Charlotte Perkins Gilman, poet Edna St. Vincent Millay, and novelist Edith Wharton. By animating their unconventional ideas and choices, Bolick shows us that contemporary debates about settling down, and having it all, are timelessthe crucible upon which all thoughtful women have tried for centuries to forge a good life.Intellectually substantial and deeply personal, Spinster is both an unreservedly inquisitive memoir and a broader cultural exploration that asks us to acknowledge the opportunities within ourselves to live authentically. Bolick offers us a way back into our own livesa chance to see those splendid years when we were young and unencumbered, or middle-aged and finally left to our own devices, for what they really are: unbounded and our own to savor.From the Hardcover edition.
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review
brittanybooks
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Mehso-so

Pretentious… a lot of the time. Otherwise a great commentary on being single and independent. #book65of2021 #memorialbookchallenge #75bookchallenge

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ravenlee
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Well, I finished two short reads yesterday (Lilla and The Selfish Giant) and DNFed my #bookspin We Are Not From Here. It was too much for me emotionally. I have three in progress for buddy reads and now need to pick my next read. I think it‘s between Murder on the Orient Express, Stuff, and Fast Food Nation.

TheAromaofBooks Woohoo!! Looking great!!! 4mo
29 likes1 comment
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kspenmoll
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#Two4Tuesday

1) Sometimes a title does pull me in, especially if it‘s non-fiction or memoir that interests me. Fiction is a little trickier in that a title does not always attract me to the book- more often a cover does.

2) The tagged book I enjoyed.

Want to play @Nute @katy4peas @Tamra ?

TheSpineView Thanks for playing! 🤩📙 4mo
42 likes1 comment
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MatchlessMarie
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Late again. Here‘s my May #BookSpin list. About to peek at the numbers 👀 and start working on my bingo card!

TheAromaofBooks Woohoo!! 9mo
33 likes1 stack add1 comment
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Sharpeipup
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“A book will find you when you need to be found”
#quotes #24b4monday

Andrew65 Great quote. 😊 1y
36 likes2 stack adds1 comment
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Librarybelle
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#7Days7Books Day 1

For the next 7 days, I will post book each day that remains in my mind, because it touched me and changed me. No further comments!

76 likes3 stack adds
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ThePageantHam
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I was supposed to go see Dashboard Confessional tonight, but it's suddenly very cold outside, work has been quite draining lately, and I just want to hermit at home with my slothfriends and my pile o' books. I started Spinster a long while back and loved it but never finished the final ninety pages, so I'm jumping back in. Might watch some The Haunting of Hill House, Nos4a2, or Shrill later and make some tea, too. Perfect evening. ❄🤩🍵

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Librarybelle
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#ThisOnesForTheGirls who choose to live on their own, who enjoy the single life. It‘s hard for people I know, especially family, to understand my choice to remain single. I‘ve had boyfriends; I‘ve been on dates. For awhile, I felt that there must be something wrong with me - if everyone else thinks I need someone, why do I not think the same thing? Then, I read this book. It‘s exactly what I needed. #LilithJuly

Thanks ladies for a fun month!

KarenUK And thank you for posting every day! So many interesting choices 👍💕😊 2y
TheEllieMo Looks like an interesting book. I have lived happily alone for most of the last 20 years. I will eventually move in with my partner of 4 years but neither of us are in a hurry😂 2y
cathysaid Who determined these societal norms and why, in the early 21st century, do we continue to perpetuate them? I am a 46 year old woman who chose to never have children. Never desired them and am married to someone who never desired them. Yet we are constantly having to defend the choice. And frankly, it is other women who seem to have a bigger problem with it. Grates my nerves sometimes. 2y
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j9brown Ahh! Are you me? Nice to see a kindred spirit. It really does feel like nobody quite gets it. Definitely stacking this one 😁 2y
Cinfhen Love this post ❣️❣️❣️Bravo for sharing 😘 2y
Librarybelle @KarenUK ❤️❤️❤️ 2y
Librarybelle @TheEllieMo It is an interesting book! 2y
Librarybelle @cathysaid Well said! 2y
Librarybelle @Cinfhen ❤️❤️❤️ 2y
86 likes5 stack adds10 comments
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EadieB
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gradcat Uh-huh. 😂 3y
44 likes1 comment
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Well-ReadNeck
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Pickpick

This is both memoir and well-researched non-fiction in combo. I enjoyed both Bolick‘s story and her retelling of the stories of other women.

110 likes2 stack adds
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Sweettartlaura
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Pickpick

3.5 ⭐️

Full review here:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25982575

Overall, I recommend this one. You‘ll get to know some women who laid some groundwork for us; see what a modern writer‘s life is like; and watch a woman chart her own course.

But I still say Girl Bachelor is better than Spinster, & I‘m keeping it 😜

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Sweettartlaura
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Uhhhmmmm... way too close to home
😮🤷🏻‍♀️🤣
Bolick unearths the term “Girl Bachelor” from the turn of the last century, which was usurped by “New Woman.”
But in reading passages like this, it‘s much more apropos than “Spinster.”
I‘m bringing it back. I‘m a Girl Bachelor, and I‘m not touching a single dish tonight.

Sweettartlaura *Reposted because I missed a word in the quote first time 🤦🏻‍♀️ 3y
Ashley_Nicoletto 🙌🏼🙌🏼 this was me for like the last five years. I loved this book. 3y
LauraBeth I haven‘t really wanted to read this but now I‘m intrigued! I love the words Girl Bachelor! 3y
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Sweettartlaura @LauraBeth I do, too! I‘m catching some flak for that on other social media sites, so I‘m glad you get me on this 😉. And I‘m not sure this is a Pick just yet - I‘m only half done - but it‘s definitely not a Pan 🙂. Stay tuned... 3y
Sweettartlaura @Ashley_Nicoletto I think it‘s always been me 🤷🏻‍♀️😉 It‘s nice to find my tribe finally, & to take a name for it🙌🏻 3y
LauraJ Hello, my girl bachelor sisters 🙋🏻‍♀️ 3y
Sweettartlaura Welcome to the tribe @LauraJ & @MaleficentBookDragon 🙌🏻🙌🏻 3y
36 likes8 comments
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Sweettartlaura
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Starting this now ... 🙌🏻

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Mc_cart_ny
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Pickpick

⭐⭐⭐⭐ This is part memoir and part a history of women and spinsterhood. I really liked this book, particularly the first half or so. There is a lot of history on her five literary heroes which was interesting to hear about. Bolick does only discuss one side of women's history, one that is of white women that largely come from some privilege, but she does at least address that she is not going into the poor or women of color.

14 likes1 stack add
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Mc_cart_ny
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#Audiobooking while watching my toddler and dog run in the backyard 🌞

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Librarybelle
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In my pre-Litsy days, I inundated my FB friends with bookish quotes. A favorite of mine popped up in memories this morning.

Itchyfeetreader Love this! 4y
68 likes1 comment
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parttimedomestic
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I thought I‘d share a peek into my #bujo today! Every 6 months I like to do a check in to really look at what I‘ve been reading. 📚
I don‘t love writing reviews online, so I write a quick review of each book directly in my bullet journal. I keep thinking of starting a separate journal for just bookishness, but then my bullet journal would be so boring!

LiteraryinLawrence Cool! What‘s the pink category under YA? 4y
wanderinglynn Very cool! 4y
parttimedomestic @LiteraryinLititz Memoir! ☺️ Can you tell it‘s my favorite? 4y
39 likes4 comments
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kspenmoll
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#JuneStats
3 audio ( 2 mystery, 1 fluff)
2 historical fiction
3 non-fiction
3 fiction

Suet624 Wow! You read a lot! Nice work. ❤️ (edited) 4y
kspenmoll @Suet624 My house suffers because I‘d rather read! 4y
Suet624 @kspenmoll yeah. Who cares about the house, though. Really. 4y
59 likes3 comments
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kspenmoll
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#HumpDayPost
1) this is a beautiful but crazy mishmash of a fountain in Tampa. No pics of doing crazy things, sorry!
2)I had coffee & lemon/lavender scone in Lee, MA.
3) Authors as Mentors
4) sticky notes
5)5‘ 1”

AlaMich Lemon-lavender scones sound amazing! I‘ve made lavender shortbread before, which I loved but which others made a face over. Like, you‘re not supposed to put FLOWERS in cookies!! 4y
kspenmoll @AlaMich It was perfect! 4y
51 likes2 comments
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kspenmoll
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Only on page 123 -so far these are all the authors mentioned in various contexts. Essayists, magazine free lance writers, novelists, poets, historians, newspaper reporters, editors- cannot list them all here so will add names to comments. Some are familiar, some not, so I am looking up many etc.

Edna St. Vincent Millay
Maeve Brennan
Neith Boyce
Edith Wharton
Charlottle Perkins Gilman
Mary McCarthy
Doris Lessing
Stephanie Coontz
BettyFriedan

kspenmoll Elizabeth Bishop
Robert Lowell
Sylvia Plath
Anne Sexton
Nancy O‘Keefe Bolick
Henry James
Phoebe-Lou Adams
Cynthia Ozick
Nadine Gordimer
Edna O‘Brien
Annie Proulx
Alfred Kazin
Vivian Gornick
Christine Stansell
Virginia Woolf
Shirley Jackson
Margaret Mitchell
Kierkegaard
Carol DeBoer-Langworthy
Charles Dickens
Mrs. M.L. Rayne
Nellie Bly
Floyd Dell
4y
kspenmoll This is why this read is slow but fascinating to me.❤️📚 4y
readordierachel I love it when authors plug other authors 💙 4y
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kspenmoll @ReadOrDieRachel Me too. I always find new books that way- live learning about their lives, historical context. 4y
Suet624 This book sounds fantastic. 4y
kspenmoll @Suet624 I felt she created a unique life journey after her mother died by finding woman authors as mentors/models. That piece really drew me in as I tried to understand her thinking/journey. Not sure This expresses what I mean! 4y
Suet624 I like the idea. Look forward to checking it out. 4y
67 likes7 comments
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kspenmoll
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Kate Bolick and her mother, Nancy O‘Keefe Bolick on Kate‘s first day of kindergarten. Her mother died of breast cancer at age of 52 when Kate was 23. This article Kate wrote is both informative & heartbreaking.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/afterlives-my-m...

Suet624 I just read this article. Thanks for sharing it. 4y
52 likes1 comment
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kspenmoll
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#Day2Vacation
Finally feel its vacation!Now that a major screw up with our school districts payroll is resolved-no paycheck was deposited Friday, no balloon check, no stipends,I can speak about it.As you can imagine, this created havoc for so many, including me. All kinds of errors on deductions & benefit amounts. Needless to say, working with union all weekend.Thank God we have one!!!!
Enjoying this book. A slow read as I am looking so much up!

AJones I‘m sorry to hear about your current dilemma. I‘m sure they will work it out. Enjoy your vacation! ☺️ 4y
kspenmoll @AJones Thanks so much! We have our checks; the corrections are in out mr favor so all is well. Appreciate your thoughtfulness! 4y
RealLifeReading Happy vacation! 4y
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LiteraryinLawrence Ugh! Glad you worked it out and can enjoy the start of your summer! 4y
kspenmoll @LiteraryinLititz Thanks! As you can imagine, stressful ! 4y
DivineDiana Hope it is resolved and you are enjoying a much deserved vacation! 4y
kspenmoll @DivineDiana Thanks Diana! All is resolved & I am enjoying my week off! 4y
DivineDiana @kspenmoll Wonderful! 👏🏻 4y
68 likes8 comments
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kspenmoll
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#awakeners.
After her mother died the author tried to use the lives of literary models to remap her life. As she said, she was a talker & continued her conversations with her mother through these women. Neith Boyce was born in 1872 to a bookish family & became a columnist in NYC.Neith did not like Boston but Loved NYC, like the author. A kindred spirit.

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kspenmoll
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Just 38 pages in & totally engaged. Author borrowed the term “awakeners”from Edith Wharton . Bolick seeks to recreate her conversations with her mother, who died when the author was 23 of breast cancer,with these chosen “ awakeners”: poet Edna Millay,essayist Maeve Brennan,columnist Neith Boyce,novelist Edith Wharton ,& social visionary Charlotte Perkins Gilman. “I encountered each awakener at a different stage in my coming of age as an adult”-KB

73 likes2 stack adds
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kspenmoll
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#WaitingonRain #WednesdayEvening #Porchlife #PorchReading
Taking a short break before going to do school work. Waiting for huge rainstorm headed our way. But for now, breeze and birdsong. Quieting the mind.

AJones Looks lovely! Enjoy your quiet time. 😊 (edited) 4y
Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks So pretty ❤️ 4y
kspenmoll @AJones @Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks Thank you both. I am totally in love with my porch! As my husband says, its the best room in the house! So needed that quiet break...💕💕 (edited) 4y
76 likes1 stack add3 comments
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Tex2Flo
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#heyjune
#ifeelfine
“In Ancient Rome, there were several Vestal Virgins at any time guarding the sacred fire of Vesta... Each was tapped for the priesthood before puberty and sworn to celibacy for thirty years. Once she‘d fulfilled her service...she was given a pension and was free to do whatever she wanted, even marry. Marriage to a former Vestal was a coveted status symbol.”
Great. Even the Vestals needed marriage to have status.

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karenna
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Pickpick

Initially drawn to the title and cover, I really enjoyed this book that explores the author's and society's conceptions around the institution of marriage. She compares her experiences with those of her mother's as well as five other artists' from earlier eras. Of course, single women may get the most out of this book, but I've been married for many years now and found much to learn, interest, and ponder.

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Mskt6891
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Ddzmini Read 📖😝🤣 4y
7 likes1 comment
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beccaeve
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I read this a few years ago. It introduced me to some amazing female writers. Today, I wrote about one of them for my #WomensHistoryMonth blog project: http://bit.ly/whm18NeithBoyce

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erzascarletbookgasm
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In this partial memoir, Bolick talks about the possibilities beyond the marriage-and-baby path, and explores if a woman can still be happy and build a rich life alone. Definitely not #polyesterbride material.

#fiercefeb @Cinfhen @batsy

Kalalalatja Stacked! 4y
batsy Love the title and had high hopes but this one let me down, sadly... 4y
Cinfhen That's a shame @batsy looks good! 4y
See All 10 Comments
batsy Something about her tone didn't sit well with me, @Cinfhen but lots of others have enjoyed it 👍🏽 4y
batsy I sent you a package last Monday the 12th via Poslaju, was wondering if it has arrived? (this kind of ruins the surprise 🙃) 4y
erzascarletbookgasm The book sounds good, what a shame @batsy . And no, I haven‘t received it. The delay must be due to the long holiday break..but that‘s four days! 👎Poslaju! 4y
batsy I just traced the number and it says delivery was "attempted" on the 14th and delivery notice left behind. Did you get it? It's now being held at the SS13/1 Subang branch, apparently for 7 days from the 14th ? I've been calling 1300300300 for twenty minutes now and no one's available to take my call. Ugh. The tracking number is EP459003144MY 4y
erzascarletbookgasm @batsy no worries, with the tracking number, I‘ll collect it from the post office. But I doubt their ‘attempt‘ to deliver because I didn‘t get any notice! Anyway, thank you, I‘m now excited to collect it! 4y
batsy Oh cool, I'm glad to hear that ❤️ On behalf of Pos Malaysia, I'm sorry for the trouble ? I absolutely don't trust their "attempts" either... 4y
erzascarletbookgasm Nothing to be sorry about @batsy ! It‘s lovely of you to send me something. If you have not reached out to me, the item would have been returned to you after the 7 days. 😤 4y
87 likes1 stack add10 comments
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WhatDeeReads
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Spent the day apartment hunting and now I‘m just plain furious. I‘m ready to spit. I make more than the average person in my field and at my age. WHY CANT I AFFORD A DECENT 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 APARTMENT?!

Sorry.

SN: I got no reading done today because of the above. Ugh.

CouronneDhiver 🙁 that‘s no fun ... 4y
tif 😔 4y
Tjackson I have an autographed copy of this book and heard the author speak when it first came out. I have yet to read it, but I‘m looking forward to it when I get there. 4y
See All 18 Comments
Mariposa_Bookworm I‘m sorry for your troubles. I too am a singleton and after 6 years of teaching can only afford to go into a Golden Girls-like set up with my mother, grandmother, and aunt. I feel your pain. 4y
WhatDeeReads @Mariposa_Bookworm Oh my! I pray your strength! I hope that y‘all have lots of boundaries and that everyone respects them. I hope they don‘t treat you like their live-in caretaker. This shall soon pass. My mom started making a really good living after about 15 years of teaching. I know that seems far off, but it is coming. (edited) 4y
L_auren Rents were indeed made for couples and roommates only 4y
WhatDeeReads @L_auren I will never go back to roommates again. I‘ll go back to my parents before I do that. At least I know what kind of crazy they are. 4y
Johanna414 Renting is seriously the worst! My sister and her bf both make a good living but rent in Portland, OR is literally impossible without roommates. My hubby and I are lucky to have good jobs in a very low income area so our rent is low. I‘d never be able to afford a house as nice as ours on my own though... we‘d end up in a crappy apartment. Hope you‘re able to find something soon! 4y
WhatDeeReads @Johanna414 Thank you! I hope so too. I appreciate the Portland knowledge. It was one of the cities I was considering moving to. I guess I should cross it off. It‘s lovely to visit, though. 4y
Amandajoy I feel you, it sucks. I‘ve had to resign myself to spending a larger percentage of my income in rent than couples. I‘m with you on the no roommates - it‘s just not worth it, I like my space. I‘m moving in with my BF in May, & I‘m a little nervous about it. I‘ve been living by myself for 15 years! You‘ll find something, just keep looking! 4y
WhatDeeReads @Amandajoy I hope all goes well with your move! I‘m pretty sure I‘m gonna be stuck right where I am, but thank you for your optimism. 4y
Lola Chicago...🙄 Good luck with the search! Are you planning to stay in your current neighborhood? 4y
Johanna414 @WhatDeeReads Yeah, rent is absurd in Portland and just keeps going up as more people move out there. My sister pays over $2000 a month for a tiny, run down house. You could always move to Allegany County, NY where it‘s almost impossible to find a job but you can rent a gorgeous 4 bed, 2 bath Victorian for $600... (edited) 4y
WhatDeeReads @Lola The most enraging part of it is that every day I walk and ride past a half dozen new buildings going up and I know that not a single one will be reasonably priced. It‘s luxury this. And urban luxury that. 🤬 4y
WhatDeeReads @Johanna414 Wow, That is absurd. It seems the same thing is happening in chicago. 4y
emilyhaldi That's very frustrating 😕 I feel you on the roommate front- I could never do that again! There are lots of affordable housing options here in Ohio 😄 Come on out! 4y
WhatDeeReads @emilyhaldi Ohio huh? 🤔 4y
41 likes1 stack add18 comments
review
underground_bks
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Pickpick

I'm happily married, which is why I put off reading this for so long! But this book is for everyone. Bolick's personal journey of historical and self-discovery is compelling, eye-opening, & a joy to read. I love books that encourage living intentionally. Spinster will make you think hard not only about what you take for granted about relationships or what your own needs are for independence, but also about grief, art, & what we give our lives to.

8 likes1 stack add
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PacingTheCage
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Pickpick

I loved this book. As a singleton (the name I've been calling myself) I needed a book like this one.

How much did I enjoy this book? I originally borrowed it from the library but will definitely be purchasing a hard copy to have forever!

ReadingOver50 Beautiful 4y
8 likes1 stack add1 comment
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PacingTheCage
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Today is a great day to finish this really great book! It's a little colder today, definitely dreary and I felt a few sprinkles while walking Bleecker (who again, is currently residing under the blanket ).

10 likes1 stack add
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PacingTheCage
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#Bleeckersays Mom, you're not fat, you're puggy! Get off that treadmill! I don't like it! #pugsoflitsy #mamawantssomewine

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PacingTheCage
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#Bleeckersays Thanks for sending everyone home mom. Now let's just relax! #pugsoflitsy #introverting

Tanzy13 🐶 4y
Reecaspieces Peanut says 👋 #pugsoflitsy 4y
15 likes1 stack add2 comments
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oddandbookish
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33 likes2 stack adds1 comment
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Augustdana
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Mehso-so

I loved hearing about all the wonderful women writers and activists, but didn‘t care to hear the authors personal stories. #riotgrams a day late: books and beverage. At my favourite local coffee place a while back.

batsy I too thought her personal stories weakened the book. Those sections read like a conventional memoir about heteronormativity, which I found quite irritating based on title and marketing for the book. 4y
Augustdana @batsy yes!!! It had so much potential, and I felt a little let down. Honestly she was kind of annoying. However it did lead me to some kick ass ladies, so all was not lost. 4y
9 likes2 comments
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Serenity_Within86
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8 likes1 stack add
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thelizflynn
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Mehso-so

Meh, I wasn't crazy about this book. The discussion of women from history that she looked up to and were influenced by was interesting and well written. When she talked about herself? Yeah, wasn't into that.

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thelizflynn
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It me.

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kalinichta
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A little quiet porch time before bed. Enjoying this book more than I expected to.

14 likes1 stack add
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mllemay
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Pickpick

Definitely a case of right book at the right time for me. So much of this resonated with me even though my experience is basically the opposite of the author's. I was expecting many a-ha moments, and they did come but they were not the ones I was expecting to have. Overall, a great reflection piece for me. It also extended my TBR exponentially - she discusses many fascinating women writers whose works I am now dying to delve into!

52 likes3 stack adds
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Leftcoastzen
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#junebookbugs day 4 #allthesingleladies Spinster on my TBR.Shout out to Miss Marple who filled those unmarried days unraveling murders while seldom dropping a stitch.

elkeOriginal That Mirror Crack'd cover is intense! 5y
Leftcoastzen @elkeo I know ,isn't it?best thing is I got 5 old Christies at Prescott Library sale cheap.want to read her again 5y
Jess_Read_This I almost picked Miss Marple too! 5y
batsy Miss Marple 🙌 5y
RealLifeReading 🙌🙌 5y
11 likes5 comments
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PurpleyPumpkin
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I bought this last year, but haven't gotten around to reading it yet. I thought it fit today's prompt perfectly! #allthesingleladies #day4 #junebookbugs

Riveted_Reader_Melissa I did the same thing! Planning on getting to it this year though! 5y
PurpleyPumpkin @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Me too, but man, these photo challenges make me realize how many books I have that I haven't read yet! It's almost overwhelming, almost. 😉 5y
Riveted_Reader_Melissa @PurpleyPumpkin Totally agree there! If I really looked and counted, I'd probably have enough to read for a "few" years before I'd run out. 5y
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Bookcation74 I have VERY strong feelings about this book... 5y
PurpleyPumpkin @Bookcation74 Positive or not? 5y
PurpleyPumpkin @Bookcation74 Now I am intrigued. I'm guessing you wouldn't recommend that I bump it up my tbr. But I appreciate your input. 5y
70 likes2 stack adds7 comments
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rubyslippersreads
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I ❤️ paper dolls! 😀 #allthesingleladies #junebookbugs

RealLifeReading Oooohh!!! 😍😍 5y
96 likes1 comment
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Serenity_Within86
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Had get my own copy!!!! This book is going get highlighted af haha
#spinster #katebolick

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Serenity_Within86
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Omg I can't put it down!!!!

7 likes1 stack add
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Serenity_Within86
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Super excited to jump into this one!!!