It was shades of duMaurier/Hitchcock at the mall food court today when this bird first stalked us while my friend was waiting for her pretzel order then followed us to our table where it bided its time until flying at my friend and attempting to steal her pretzel. The bird did not get the pretzel, but neither did my friend choose to continue eating. This is the bird perched on the back of my chair, moments before making its move.

I still had more to say about Rose Hackman's Emotional Labor, and I'm testing my family's patience by talking about it nonstop, so I blogged about it: https://imperfecthappiness.org/2025/09/10/emotional-labor-by-rose-hackman-and-my...

Photo doesn't relate to the post at all, I just was excited that a hummingbird finally sat still long enough for me to take its photo.

We do not care how persistent the mean little internal voice is---the one that tells us that our mistakes define us rather than our successes and so we're better off quitting. It is not our friend, and we're under no obligation to listen to it. (We're a little irritated, however, because we have been promised that perimenopause would be accompanied by a quieting of this critical voice, and so far, it's still quite persistent.)
#WDNCW @dabbe

This book came out in 2023, and it predicts the cultural push towards narrow, restrictive gender definitions that's come with the Project 2025 stuff. Rather than promoting extreme solutions, Hackman suggests that moving forward with an awareness of the lack of financial and cutural recognition for "feminized" labor performed by any gender would help build a stronger, more competitive US economy, and stronger communities. ⬇️

Listening to this audiobook is awesome, but it's also making me angry, which I then feel compelled to mask for my spouse and our son, creating more emotional labor for me.

(Just kidding...they think it's hilarious when I vent. Which involves its own sort of emotional labor.)

Photo: Hollywood Walk of Fame, which I wandered before an event in LA this weekend. Review: The Walk was kind of a letdown. But I did learn that Igor Stravinsky has a star.

This is an "it's not you, it's me" DNF. I just don't have the bandwidth to put in the effort on a translated classic right now. I feel mild FOMO, but not enough to change my mind.

This one took me a while to get through, but I enjoyed it in all its cringeyness. The adults are oblivious and self-absorbed, and the tension is really well done. There are so many points where things might have gone one way or another. #Roll100

I volunteer with a non-profit whose mission is to improve literacy by promoting a love of reading. I attended an online volunteer event today in which I learned two things: 1) Many children in the population we serve have never had a new book---until those we give out---due to the expense. 2) In the current political climate, many of the families we serve are afraid to leave their homes, and our programs provide families a safe place to gather. ⬇️

Well, this is quite an impressive trio of blurb-writers! Most of the book is dedicated to the definition and causes of a fear of success, and it's not really until the last chapter that Friedman gets to some of the (rather simple) solutions. Friedman is very Freudian in approach, but her book does give me some things to ponder, and not just the evolution of the self-help genre since the 1980s. A qualified pick.

I'm not really a dragon person (they're cool and all, I'm just not super into them). The premise behind this novel is interesting, but I found the number of times Lessa gets shaken by the man who supposedly loves her a little unsettling, which is perhaps par for the course in a novel first published in 1968. What else is F'lar supposed to do with such a willful and impudent woman? I don't think I'll read more from this series.

We do not care that you wanted to start your holiday weekend early so you preemptively locked all time sheets before the end of the work day. Those of us who work after your weekend started and couldn't log our time would very much like our full pay this pay period.

At least we don't rely on this one paycheck for basic expenses. Others might not be so fortunate.

#wdncw @dabbe

Although I enjoyed the Catalina Island setting, the overall story didn't quite do it for me. It doesn't seem to have the sense of immediacy and tension that I enjoy in other Connelly novels. It feels like Connelly was trying to pack too much into this story, and I felt a little jerked from place to place.

It seems a little bit wrong to describe a mystery in which children are murdered as "fun," however, I did find this story fun. I figured out 2/3 of the solution before the reveal, which is unusual for me, and I found the descriptions of the party games intriguing (although also a great way to spread illness (bobbing for apples) and a big fire risk (snap-dragon, which I kind of want to do anyway)). I also like the use of the word "sartorial."

I've published my August Bookends blog post in record time! (Along with some musings about my relationship to writing): https://imperfecthappiness.org/2025/09/01/bookends-august-2025/

#bookspin list for September!

@TheAromaofBooks

Completed #bookspinbingo for August. 12 books, 1 bingo.

@TheAromaofBooks

Camille's definition of success involves me lounging in such a way that I can pet her indefinitely, which is going well today so far. Even better, I refreshed the litterboxes today, so I am in her good graces for that bit of service, too.

Today, we toured the historic Marston House, and of course, I took photos of the library. It's perhaps not quite as romantic as the floor-to-ceiling shelves of other libraries, but I love that all of the books are reachable to 5'1"-tall me (not that we were allowed to touch them, but in my imagination, it was quite practical). I'm filing the idea away for my "someday" house.

After reading the first couple of chapters closely, I skimmed through until the last two chapters. The concepts and practice remind me strongly of Marion Woodman's Eye and "I" from her Addiction to Perfection and from the reflection practices in the Bullet Journal Writing for Being course, both of which I found to be more resonant to me, although this book's section "On Spiritual Smugness" was quite good. A qualified pick.

While out with friends this afternoon, I was reminded of the year my kids and I hiked the same hike each week for 52 weeks, and when I got home, I read through the posts I'd published about them on my blog. This post from Week 40 reminded me of what was going on in the world in 2016, and helped explain why I felt so connected to the tagged while reading it this week: http://imperfecthappiness.org/2016/07/09/weekly-walk-40/

Y'all...I have too many in-progress books. I either need to buckle down and finish at least three of these, or I need to DNF (or back-burner) a couple. (Not pictured is the latest Michael Connelly, which I started this morning on audiobook. I am incorrigible.)

This series of essays written during E.B. White's first four years full-time on his Maine farm in the years immediately before and after the bombing of Pearl Harbor feels like a balm and a primer in how to balance attention to world affairs with pursuits that ground us in the daily world in which we spend most of our time. The essays are conversational and humble, and provide glimpses of the man who will become the author of Charlotte's Web.

I was recommending the tagged book to my 16-year-old son because he enjoys history, and I'm finding it a unique perspective on how to live one's everyday life as authoritarianism is spreading and fascist apologists are cropping up. He was on board until I told him the title, at which point he laughed heartily because, while he's quite an intellectual kid, he remains a 16-year-old boy.

We interrupt this Litsy feed to bring you a gratuitous brag on my college kid:

Their dad dropped them off at their new dorm room for junior year, and within about an hour of Dad's departure, I received this shelfie. It's gratifying to see evidence that we've instilled proper priorities in our offspring.

My chemistry-major elder child pointed out that, if this works like a chemical transformation, the more confusion you start with, the more clarity you'll end up with. I'm pretty darned confused, so this bodes well for me.

For #TuesdayTunes today, I'm enjoying Kelli Scarr's "Knowing is the Call" and the album it's from, Greater Mysteries, a welcome recommendation from @catiewithac

@TieDyeDude

How did it take me so long to read this book? I'm so glad that, when I finally did, it was the rest-of-the-world version and not the truncated US version; the point of the novel is much different if it ends when the US version (also the one Kubrick used for the movie) does. It's violent, yes, but after reading S.A. Cosby and Bret Easton Ellis, it feels almost quaint, and I love the cultural criticism and what Burgess does with language.

Camille says, "If you want to take my picture, just ask. The 'photos of bookmail' pretense is unnecessary."

The Booker Longlist titles that I can't get at the library arrived today. Now to sit still uninterrupted long enough to read them...

I accidentally went thematic when I checked out yet more library books I'm unlikely to get to before they're due back.

Playing catch-up with my blog posts. If you're interested in my longer-form musings and my reading wrap-up from May-July, here's the link: http://imperfecthappiness.org/2025/08/25/bookends-may-july-2025/

(Photo: vocal catbird on the shores of Lake Michigan, June 2025)

My overflowing basket of bookmarks and...what I'm using as a bookmark.

The biggest thing that strikes me about this novel is the richness of the internal lives of the characters. It's an excellent example of how each of us is the star of our own life and how much work it takes to break out of focusing on ourselves to even begin to grasp the experiences of others. There are huge cultural critiques here that McCullers makes through her portrayal of the lives of a handful of people in one fictional Southern town.

Cat book format preferences:

Silo says that he prefers hardcover books because they're best for face scritches. Camille likes the Kobo because with the backlight, I read in bed where I can pet her instead of trying to fall right to sleep. They agree that their least favorite format is audiobook because I never sit still when listening to those (and thanks to noise canceling headphones, I also sometimes run the demonic vacuum).

This week has been challenging, so I thought it would help to reflect on the positives, even without many photos:

1. Beautiful skies, day and night.
2. An energetic first class for my teaching year.
3. Jury selection gave me an interesting new life experience.
4. Back-to-school night for my son's 11th-grade year and meeting his awesome teachers.
5. Errands with my college kid before they go back to school this weekend.

#5JoysFriday @DebinHawaii

Well, jury duty was a lot less reading time than I expected. I was called to a courtroom pretty quickly, and then it was all paying attention to other people answering questions then answering questions myself, all day yesterday and much of the morning today. I ended up being excused, which is definitely the less disruptive outcome, but after all of that effort and attention, I'm a little disappointed. It was surprisingly fun! Yay democracy!

Instance no. 12609 when it's good to have a book with you. Performing one's civic duty is not particularly exciting; a book helps.

Edited to clarify that I'm not in a courtroom, just waiting. And waiting. (And waiting.)

Today, #TuesdayTunes involved hitting shuffle on my "liked songs" playlist, which means I went directly from Chopin (Mazurka, op.68, no. 2 in a minor) to White Zombie (Electric Head, Part 2 (The Ecstasy)). A little bit of auditory whiplash, but also kind of fun. Guess which one this sheet music goes with...

@TieDyeDude

This quick, thoughtful read follows one academic year in Inazu's life as a law professor. It's very law-school-oriented, and I worried at first that I'd gotten the wrong idea, but by "January," it shifts, and I was all-in. Inazu's perspective (and the blowback he's received) reminds me of blog posts I've written about my efforts to build community through conflict (Inazu seems more successful than I am at this). This would be a good group read.

A true story of an unexpectedly painful beverage.

The very best way
to locate a papercut:
Squeeze a wedge of lime.

#haikuhive #haikuaday @dabbe , et al

This novel is violent, but not gratuitously so. It's the story of the evolution of one family's fortune (with a side story about another family as well). This is a novel with momentum, almost like Cosby set the story up at the top of a hill and then gave it a nudge and watched it roll. It was interesting to watch the characters follow paths shaped by history, secrets, ambition, and their own and others' choices. #camplitsy25

I was audio-exercising yesterday morning, and it appears that I was so engrossed in the audiobook that I forgot to stop my workout tracking. According to my app, I did almost 37 hours of weight training...pretty impressive! 😂

This novel is super creepy, pretty gory in spots, and just a lot of fun. It drags a little in the middle, and I'm still not entirely sure I understand how all of the layers fit together, but I enjoyed it all the same. Great on audio, but I could also see it being a really cool movie in the right hands.

Overall, I really enjoyed this novel. This is a mix of mystery and horror, and it does for me exactly what I love horror to do: show us parts of ourselves we'd rather not face. The novel brings us back to the early months of the pandemic and highlights the ways that covid brought out negative tendencies in United Statesian culture. There's a pretty glaring error relating to propane tanks, but that's the only bit that took me out of the action.

I enjoyed this unsettling book full of people making cringey choices, although I'm not sure I totally understood it. If you're not a fan of ambiguous stories, this might not be your cup of tea.

It's been a stressful but good week.

1) Art show finds.
2 and 3) Silly cats.
4) New patio plants.
5) First concert of the year/last concert of the summer for my tuba-playing kid.
Not pictured: Recorded and submitted 11 auditions.

@DebinHawaii #5JoysFriday

This was a quick read and very odd. The premise isn't the oddest thing; the oddest thing is how the characters jump to bizarre conclusions as though they're not just plausible but the only rational explanation and get essentially no pushback. It feels a little like the author is a kid coming up with weird stories while playing with his action figures. I don't love Uketsu's books, but I'll keep reading them.

This is from an email from author and biomechanist Katy Bowman, and I've verified the print and e-book numbers (https://thetechylife.com/how-much-money-does-amazon-take-from-book-sales/). Still looking for audiobook numbers as the linked article is less detailed on those. I also learned that Amazon controls 80% of book distribution in the US.

If you, like me, are alarmed by this, check out bookshop.org, libro.fm, and kobo.com for alternatives.

Camille giving me a high five because, after getting my elder kid and my spouse to read Playground and discuss it with me and then attending a book club about it, I have a new appreciation for what Powers is doing in this novel. I want to re-read it now that my context has evolved so I can see what else I see in it.

Drowning my jealousy over my spouse's trip to London at the garden center and then audiogardening with the tagged. We rent and only have a few containers on our patio, so audiogardening doesn't take up a lot of time, so I'll have to find something else to distract me soon.

Diplomatic review: This novel wasn't really for me, and I should have known that ahead of time based on my experience with two other Willingham books. I don't find the main character believable, and the twists feel forced and the emotionality overwrought rather than organic. However, it's successful at what novels like this are supposed to do, and the narration is great.

Spoiler rant in comments.

This is an ARC from StoryGraph/Macmillan Audio.