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Texts from Jane Eyre
Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters | Mallory Ortberg
101 posts | 142 read | 190 to read
Hilariously imagined text conversationsthe passive aggressive, the clever, and the strangefrom classic and modern literary figures, from Scarlett O'Hara to Jessica WakefieldMallory Ortberg, the co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters. Everyone knows that if Scarlett O'Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she'd constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she'd text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.
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Riveted_Reader_Melissa
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Pickpick

As with all these compilations, some are hit or miss, and most of the time that has more to do with your recollection of the classic it‘s referencing and sense of humor than the joke itself. Overall though, I loved this bit of light-hearted and dark-humored fun at the expense of some classics and left wondering why some of these twisted stories remain classics considering how twisted they are even when boiled down to their bare essentials.

56 likes2 stack adds
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booksbrewsandbooze
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Leftcoastzen ❤️😻 3mo
18 likes1 comment
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NAM99
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Mehso-so

So I thought this book was really cute but suffered from assuming that you were familiar enough with each character to understand the conversations without identifying the speakers. For the record: frosting emergencies are real

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slategreyskies
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Pickpick

OMG I thought I was going to hurt myself laughing while reading this! I‘m so glad I didn‘t finish reading it inside the library, because I was howling with laughter, and they‘d have likely asked me to leave. My favorite section was the one on Emily Dickinson, and my least favorites were the Daisy Miller ones. The Edgar Allan Poe one was hilarious as well. If you aren‘t well versed on these writings, do a quick Google search for the backstory.

slategreyskies (cont.) That way, you‘ll get most of the jokes, and the book will be much funnier. :) 7mo
42 likes1 stack add1 comment
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Graciouswarriorprincess
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I had fun this weekend! #24in48readathon

Bookzombie Great job! 11mo
Megabooks 🙌🙌👏🏻👏🏻🎊🎊 11mo
56 likes3 comments
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Lyn-Mara
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So funny I kept rereading passages! The standout for me was the thread between Catherine and Heathcliff. 😂😭😂

ErinSueMreads 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ 11mo
Beachesnbooks I love this book 😂 11mo
Lcsmcat 😂 11mo
22 likes3 comments
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holarosarita

You know, I don‘t know much about the classics...

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holarosarita
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Playing fast and loose with the categories already #anepistolarynovel (not really) #orcollectionofletters (sorta kinda) #readharder2019

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CindyMyLifeIsLit
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1. Texts From Jane Eyre by Mallory Ortberg! It‘s laugh-out-loud funny! 😂😂
2. January
3. Yes, 2
4. I think Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies. I‘m on a diet and they‘ve been calling to me! I‘m resisting their siren song, though—my scale‘s strident voice overwhelms them. 😁
5. Happy bday, September babies!! 🎂🎁🎈🎉
#friyayintro

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chaoticgoodhufflepuff
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Pickpick

If you're looking for a quick laugh, this is a great one. I'll admit, I really did think it was just Jane Eyre, so I was a little surprised when other books showed up, classics and pop culture faves.

Guaranteed to make you smile, even if you haven't read the books being parodied. Although I'm pretty sure they're also much funnier if you do know. Makes me want to go look up a couple new books now. 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑

18 likes3 stack adds
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Brooke_H
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Pickpick

Tears-rolling-down-my-face hilarious.

OMG, William Blake trying to give his friend a drawing. "I drew something for you." "Is it horrifying?" "No.""William. Is it horrifying? Is anyone being flayed alive? Does something have eyes that shouldn't have eyes?"

This book is full of that, and I loved every page.

15 likes1 stack add
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Brooke_H
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My kid is very annoyed at my LOLing while I read this book.

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BooksTeasAndBookishThings
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We had a #NashvilleLitsyMeetUp hosted by the extremely kind @LouLouLane ❤️ I cannot thank you enough for giving us food, drinks, books, and bookmarks! We all brought books to pool on the table and we drew numbers to see who would select first and we had the BEST time! Loved having #LitsyGossip with all of you beautiful Ladies! Thank you so much ❤️

ferskner It was fabulous to meet you, and thank you for all the goodies! 1y
105 likes1 comment
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JenFowler
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Pickpick

This book is absolutely hilarious!! I recommend it as an #audiobook - I laughed out loud many many times throughout. The narrators did a good job. I know not everyone has read all the classics that are included in here, but you will still enjoy this author's wit and creativity!

109 likes5 stack adds
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kayceecruz
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Pickpick

Ortberg is simply an amazing writer. I laughed so many times while reading this. I adored how they completely called out all the problematic situations and attitudes in so many works and made THAT a wonderful part of the humor of this book.

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kayceecruz
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I am in love with this book already!

1 like2 stack adds
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booksbrewsandbooze
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I think bookshelves are one of the most beautiful sights 💖 Pure art 📚 #booksbrewsandbooze

Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks Cool pic!!! Welcome to Litsy!!! 2y
keys_on_fire Totally agree with you!! Welcome to Litsy!! 📚❤️ 2y
Eggs Yesss!! Welcome to Litsy 👋🏻👋🏻 2y
See All 12 Comments
Wife Welcome to Litsy!🌹 2y
asiriusreader Welcome to Litsy!! 2y
SledgeReader @booksbrewsandbooze I‘m crazy curious about the rock arch! Please share the story. 2y
booksbrewsandbooze @SledgeReader Hi Sarah! So it‘s actually a pretty tame story, lol - I saw it at a garden center and bought it, thinking I‘d put it in a planter outside... somehow, that translated to “ah yes, I shall decorate my bookshelf with this” 😂 2y
SledgeReader @booksbrewsandbooze 🤭 😉 That makes it a perfect story! I was imaging a Martha Stewart/Pinterest moment, glue from another continent while standing on one foot and touching my nose. Natural, attainable beauty! Love it! 2y
booksbrewsandbooze @SledgeReader As an un-crafty person, I couldn‘t agree more! 😂 2y
rather_be_reading that rock arch 😍😍 2y
booksbrewsandbooze @rather_be_reading It was supposed to go in the garden, lol - see how well that turned out! 😂 2y
14 likes12 comments
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lisakoby
Pickpick

When this book is on it is brilliant.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

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Hooked_on_books
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Pickpick

What a fun approach to books! This quick read is the author‘s imagining of how text messages from certain characters or authors might appear. Clever and whimsical. (Hermione and Ron‘s exchange pictured here.)

Plus, the ebook is $2.99 across platforms right now!

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amma-keep-reading
Pickpick

Such a fun and quick read. Perfect for fans of classic literature with a twist.

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kaykay521
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Mehso-so

Cute, entertaining book. I hadn't read some of the books she'd highlighted so a lot of the jokes went over my head. Still, it was a fast paced easy read, perfect for when you need a break from heavy reading material.

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suvata
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Pickpick

Clever book containing text messages between fictional characters. Entertaining!

CoffeeK8 She does the dear prudence column now on Slate.com, she‘s really entertaining! 2y
suvata @CoffeeK8 Good to know. Thanks. 2y
56 likes2 stack adds2 comments
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suvata
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A little levity for the week.

Godmotherx5 I love that book 😁 2y
45 likes1 stack add1 comment
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Leelee08
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Yeeeessss.👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Ddzmini With mysterious dark passageways 😝 2y
emilyhaldi 🤣🤣 2y
julesG @Ddzmini And a ghoul in the attic. 😜 2y
Ddzmini With chains rattling and wind blowing 🤣 2y
53 likes4 comments
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Jen2
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Pickpick

Darling!

lauraodom I‘ve seen some buzz on this one but wasn‘t sure about it.... 2y
131 likes13 stack adds1 comment
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Carolyn11215
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On sale from Kindle today...

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haileybean
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COCOONS.

10 likes1 stack add
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haileybean
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I needed a break from some of the heavier books I‘ve been reading or listening to, and this book guys... I‘m dying from laughing.

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razmanda
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Pickpick

What a delightful distraction! I‘m in the midst of a mental health downturn and was searching out smart, funny and fast, and this audiobook absolutely delivered.

MelAnn I really enjoyed this book! 2y
WhatDeeReads I listened to this a audio. It was so funny. 2y
LiteraryinLititz Hang in there. 💗💗 Glad you‘re finding some solace with books. 2y
27 likes2 stack adds3 comments
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JenlovesJT47
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Mehso-so

I was sadly pretty disappointed in this. 😞 Yes, I didn't get some of the jokes for the stories I'm not familiar with, but the ones I was very familiar with, for the most part I didn't find anything funny about them. There were a couple of times where I may have smiled but that's it. I feel there was a huge missed opportunity here. Oh well, to each their own! 2⭐️

#catsoflitsy
#Chipper

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JenlovesJT47
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Taking a short break from my required Litsy reading to jump into this beauty that was delivered from the library today. Looks pretty funny, and Nala approves! 👍🏻😅😸

#catsoflitsy
#Nala
#libraryhaul

Li_21 I heard this on audio and the texts for Medea made me laugh. For the emojis the narrator would say smiley smiley smiley 😂 2y
JenlovesJT47 @Li_21 lol can't wait!! 😅 2y
Melissa_J Most of the texts in the book went over my head, even in instances where I‘d read the book they were based on. 2y
CindyMyLifeIsLit I absolutely LOVE this book! I was laughing out loud through the whole thing. Talking about it makes me want to reread it! Hope you enjoy it! 2y
JenlovesJT47 @Melissa_J was not a fan of this either unfortunately 😞 2y
103 likes2 stack adds5 comments
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Li_21
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Coffee in hand and off to do errands

14 likes2 stack adds
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EscapedAcademic
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CoffeeCatsBooks
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Pickpick

This book is full of texts from literary characters & authors. I knew I was going to enjoy it when the 1st text was from Medea. I teach this play & absolutely love it. We actually write text messages from the characters, so I‘ll show them this next year! My favorites were Medea, Circe, Pride & Predudice, Edgar Allan Poe, Wuthering Heights, Rebecca, and Harry Potter (I certainly treated 💳 like magic when I was young) Thanks @LadyChristy !

LadyChristy So glad you love it! 😄🙌🏻 2y
58 likes4 stack adds1 comment
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knm
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Listening to Mallory talk about literary crushes on #ThirstAidKit made me think about my own 5 formative book crushes. SO. 1. Numair, Tamora Pierce‘s Tortall | 2. Corlath, Robin McKinley‘s The Blue Sword | 3. Mendanbar, Patricia C. Wrede‘s Enchanted Forest Chronicles 4. Bran, Susan Cooper‘s The Dark Is Rising Sequence | 5. Remus Lupin, JK Rowling‘s Harry Potter. I miiiiiight have a bit of a shabby loner type thing going on. 😬 #glorytotheguild

ValkyrieAndHerBooks Oh, wow! You just named so many of my formative crushes! Though, George Cooper was always my favorite from the Tortall books! 2y
knm @ValkyrieAndHerBooks George is DEFINITELY up there. He‘s just a little too suave for me to feel comfortable swoony over. *points to the juggling stork man* I want that one. 2y
ValkyrieAndHerBooks Lol, I can give you that! Mischievousness and directness have always been my Achilles heels. 2y
pygmywarrior MENDENBAR! Yes, loved those books and he was just so great. 2y
5 likes4 comments
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parttimedomestic
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Quick reminder dear #JaneEyreBuddyRead ers that Rochester would be the most annoying text corespondent!

Also we are reading Chapters 26-32 this week, how is everyone doing? I have three more chapters to read, so I may be done early for once!

MatchlessMarie 😂🙄 2y
Dulcinella I‘m behing, down with kind of a flue. Will be back asap... 2y
Daisey I haven't had any time to read this week. Hopefully a few chapters tonight! 2y
See All 6 Comments
GripLitGrl 😄😄 I am behind myself I've only been able to sneak in an audiobook this week at work. I plan on starting tonight. Feel better @Dulcinella 2y
dariazeoli I think I‘m right on schedule. BRB, blocking texts from Rochester on my phone 😂 2y
parttimedomestic @Dulcinella hope you feel better! 2y
32 likes6 comments
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LadyChristy
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Pickpick

Something light & fun to enjoy with a glass of wine in the bath after my 3-hour-long transit commute home during #snowpocalypse2018

Ashley_Nicoletto Three hours?! Glad you made it safe. Enjoy! This looks fab! 2y
LadyChristy @Ashley_Nicoletto Thank you! It was fab! I plowed through the book in an hour in the bath! 😍 2y
32 likes1 stack add2 comments
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Travelinglibrarian
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10 likes1 stack add
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Booksnchill
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Pickpick

Very fun short read of texts from literary characters from Plato to Harry Potter. Medea - what a minx🤣🤣🤣 certainly not War and Peace but if you were ever curious what texting might add to the classics- this is your book!

KathyWheeler It was lots of fun. 2y
JaclynW Oh wow! What an interesting concept! 2y
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Booksnchill @JaclynW surprised there haven‘t been more along these lines. 2y
PirateJenny @Booksnchill there have been a number of them but for some reason they just seem to go unnoticed 2y
Booksnchill @PirateJenny that makes sense! 2y
86 likes4 stack adds7 comments
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jenniferw88
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Found on Facebook! 😂

bookloo I like these better. 😂 2y
DeleteAcct These are great. 2y
KaatjeH 😂 2y
See All 11 Comments
Godmotherx5 Love the lol explanation. 2y
ErickaS_Flyleafunfurled This is genius 😂 2y
Velvetfur Love this so much! 2y
GripLitGrl 😂😂😂this is great! 2y
Erinloves2read Hahaha! 2y
batsy I love it 😂😂😂 2y
Shaila 😂😂😂😂😂😂 2y
121 likes1 stack add11 comments
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khooliha
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Pickpick

Couldn't sleep last night so I blitzed through this silly book. It was 1) delightful and 2) surprisingly warm at times.

1 like1 stack add
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maximoffs
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I mean...

DoodlesDistractions Yeah I've been having some days like that recently... 2y
julesG Well... You are entitled to an opinion. 😁 2y
99 likes4 comments
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LauraBrook
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Mehso-so

Only read the ones I was familiar with - and they were cute/clever/funny, but reading straight through was a little much. And Pride and Prejudice is so screwed up that it made me angry and I couldn't read past the first page! 😡 But this one on Sherlock made me chuckle.

TheLondonBookworm 😂😂😂 that is a giggler! 2y
RidgewayGirl I found the entire book brilliant. But it does need to be read over weeks. 2y
drokka 😂😂😂 2y
See All 10 Comments
Mimi28 I couldn't get past the first few pages of Pride and Prejudice either! I totally gave up on Jane Austen after that. Is that the one that this " Mr. Darcy" is in that everyone gushes over? What is a good Jane Austen book to start with? ??‍♀️ 2y
LauraBrook @TheLondonBookworm they've got "scads" of cocaine, and that's such a great word! 2y
LauraBrook @RidgewayGirl Yeah, I think i kinda messed up reading it straight through. But I'm sure I'll flip through it again at some point. 2y
LauraBrook @Mimi28 Oh, no, I'm sorry, what I wrote was confusing! I like Austen (still haven't read P&P yet but have seen countless movies of it), but this book is breaking down "classics" into snarky texts and like everything about the Pride and Prejudice one is wrong! She got main characters and plots mixed in from her other books - what the heck!!! Couldn't an editor catch that? ??‍♀️ 2y
LauraBrook @Mimi28 oh, and the Austen I started with was Sense and Sensibility. But Mansfield Park is probably a good place too! 2y
Mimi28 Sorry I misunderstood. I'll start with P&P or Mansfield Park, thanks!! I wouldn't like it if the book had mistakes either. Thanks for helping me! ❤️❤️❤️ 2y
LauraBrook @mimi28 But of course, my dear! The authors mistake is most irritating, bc it's the most well-known of Austen's works, and would have taken so little to fact check a few things. #booknerdrage 2y
72 likes10 comments
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Redwritinghood
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Mehso-so

Just OK. The idea is very cute and some of these were funny, but most of them weren't that clever.

merelybookish I enjoyed these columns at The Toast but probably didn't need a whole book 2y
CrowCAH I agree. So so for me too. And she messed up my fave book: Pride and Prejudice. 2y
Redwritinghood @merelybookish Yes, it wore thin after a while. 2y
67 likes4 comments
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unabridgedchick
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I love this book. Friends read it to me while I was in labor, and the whole delivery staff was in stitches. Hadn't read it again but found the audiobook so am listening while I fold laundry. As funny as I remember!

12 likes1 stack add
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CindyMyLifeIsLit
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Two of the funniest books you will ever read (guaranteed!) and both with a cheery yellow cover! #riotgrams

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Conleyheather
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Yellow cover #riotgrams

1 like1 stack add
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WhatDeeReads
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I'm really LOL at this book. It's not great, but it is quite hilarious and perfect as a quick palette cleanser. Didn't feeling like holding a physical book today, so audio it is.

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nicole742
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Interference! #catsoflitsy

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Erin01
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found some macha in my tea collection so I decided to make myself an matcha iced latte 📖🍵

Merethebookgal Yum! 😋 3y
45 likes2 stack adds1 comment