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Death in Her Hands
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
From one of our most ceaselessly provocative literary talents, a novel of haunting metaphysical suspense about an elderly widow whose life is upturned when she finds a cryptic note on a walk in the woods that ultimately makes her question everything about her new home. While on her normal daily walk with her dog in the nearby forest woods, our protagonist comes across a note, handwritten and carefully pinned to the ground with a frame of stones. "Her name was Magda. Nobody will ever know who killed her. It wasn't me. Here is her dead body." Our narrator is deeply shaken; she has no idea what to make of this. She is new to this area, having moved here from her longtime home after the death of her husband, and she knows very few people. And she's a little shaky even on her best days. Her brooding about this note quickly grows into a full-blown obsession, and she begins to devote herself to exploring the possibilities of her conjectures about who this woman was and how she met her fate. Her suppositions begin to find echoes in the real world, and with mounting excitement and dread, the fog of mystery starts to form into a concrete and menacing shape. But as we follow her in her investigation, strange dissonances start to accrue, and our faith in her grip on reality weakens, until finally, just as she is seemingly facing some of the darkness in her own past with her late husband, we are forced to face the prospect that there is either a more innocent explanation for all this or a much more sinister one -- one that strikes much closer to home. A triumphant blend of horror, suspense and pitch-black comedy, Death in Her Hands asks us to consider how the stories we tell ourselves both guide us closer to the truth and keep us at bay from it. Once again, we are in the hands of a narrator whose unreliability is well-earned, only this time the stakes have never been higher.
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amyrohn
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Pickpick

This was last month‘s book club pick, and surprisingly I ended up reading it twice. This is a character study disguised as a murder mystery, about an old woman spiraling in grief and paranoia. The book is haunting and atmospheric and the writing is excellent, but it isn‘t actually the most enjoyable book. I liked analyzing it more than reading it for pleasure. Definitely experimental and leaves an impact, but not the most fun to read. A soft pick.

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ImperfectCJ
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Thanks for the tag, @The_Penniless_Author !

1) I think so. Just waiting for a few things to be delivered 🤞
2) I think the tagged has a grocery trip in it. Actually, I think a lot of the books I read have characters visiting grocery stores.

@TheSpineView #Two4Tuesday

TheSpineView Happy Holidays! 🎄 3mo
30 likes1 comment
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Billypar
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Pickpick

This novel opens with Vesta, an elderly widow, finding this note in the woods behind the remote lakeside cottage she recently moved into with her dog Charlie. If you think that this sounds like an intriguing opening to a mystery, you should know from the start that this is not that novel. Because it is initially disappointing to find this isn't the mystery you think you're getting. But the odd character study that emerges is truly unique 👇

Billypar In some ways it's a portrait of loneliness, but also what happens when you have complicated feelings about the person you're missing. I'm going to end this review with something I liked that isn't all that important but still gave me a strange delight - the wonderful place names referenced: Levant, Monlith, Bethsmane, Dratchkill, Valtura, Bahl, Port Mary, St. Viceroy. 9mo
Ruthiella I‘ve only read Eileen but I really must read more from Moshfegh. 9mo
Reggie @Ruthiella I will never forget her talking about popping the pimples on her Russian exbf‘s back. Blughhh. 9mo
Billypar @Ruthiella Eileen was the only other one I read also. That will be a tough one to top for me - it's my favorite kind of novel - so unpredictable, funny, and dark. 9mo
Billypar @Reggie Moshfegh does seem to revel in dropping some memorably gross passages 🤢😄 9mo
43 likes5 comments
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booklover3258
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Bailedbailed

My review of this book can be found on my YouTube Vlog at:

https://youtu.be/grrIn85bLX4

Enjoy!

allureofbeauty I didn‘t really like it either. 1y
28 likes1 comment
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LauraJ
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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As a reward for getting off my ass and going for a mile walk, I stopped by the bookstore and picked this. Having a bookstore a half mile from home is good motivation.

JenReadsAlot Will walk for books! Lol 1y
Smrloomis @JenReadsAlot 😂😂😂 Yes! 1y
sarahbarnes Gorgeous cat! I loved this book. 1y
LauraJ @sarahbarnes Thanks, he certainly thinks so! Wink😽 1y
44 likes4 comments
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itsyvetperez
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Mehso-so

“I felt I needed to hide a little. My mind needed a smaller world to roam.”

- 3⭐️

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itsyvetperez
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Currently reading. 📖🤓

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Andrea4
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Panpan

Wtf did I just listen to? I don't mind books that are primarily internal narrative, nor do I mind unreliable narrators, even slightly neurotic ones. BUT this was a whole new level!
I thought about bailing, but I just wanted to know if I would "know" at the end. Spoiler alert- no, I did not know. I do not know. Lol. Pass.

23 likes2 stack adds
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Booksnchill
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Pickpick

Well, another odd book from OM but isn‘t that what we read her books to encounter- the genre bending, unexplainable ambiguous novel with no clean ending. This is that in spades. “Her name is Magda. Nobody will ever know who killed her. It wasn‘t me. Here is her dead body.” I dare you to walk away from that!

49 likes1 stack add
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BarbaraBB
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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#AlphabetGame Letter D

Moshfegh gets better with every book. I haven‘t read her latest one but this one is so so good.

vivastory Ah, great choice! I *almost* selected the same one 2y
Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks Thank you for playing 2y
Megabooks I need to reread this! 2y
57 likes1 stack add4 comments
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allureofbeauty
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Panpan

My nails kind of match the book.
Which I won‘t talk about to ruin anything for the next in the #lmpbc - I finished this tonight and it and the other book will be on their way to @phantomx Monday! Sorry I‘ve been so behind 😩
@ImperfectCJ @Jadams1776

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allureofbeauty
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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#currentlyreading or really #currentlytryingtoread not sure how I‘m liking this one.

And I have the other one (black rabbit hall) finished and ready to go but figured If I can get this finished this weekend I can mail them together on Monday.
#lmpbc

14 likes1 comment
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MrsV
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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My read for tonight.

23 likes1 stack add
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mija333
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
Bailedbailed

Nope.

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ImperfectCJ
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Pickpick

This isn't my favorite Moshfegh, but I like what she does here, playing with the intersection between real life and the life of the mind.

I have several packages to mail out, so I'll hopefully get this out by Saturday with the rest of the stack. #lmpbc #Round14 @allureofbeauty @suvata

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perfectsinner
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh

Starting this but I have serious reservations about it. 60 pages in... 😕😬

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ImperfectCJ
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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I got some sweet stuff in my #HHS #HauntedHollowSwap from @shortsarahrose ! An adorable card, a bookmark, a tasty-smelling candle, and two books I've been wanting to read and that are just in time to toss into my overnight bag for a teensy road trip! Thank you so much, Sarah, and thank you for hosting, @wanderinglynn !

wanderinglynn Fantastic! 🎃🧡 2y
shortsarahrose Glad you like everything! Enjoy your books and trip 📚 🎃 2y
Crazeedi Happy Halloween my friend! Enjoy your trip!🎃🧡 2y
53 likes3 comments
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sharread
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Panpan

This was sooooooooooooo annoying!

#horror #BookSpinBingo @TheAromaofBooks

TheAromaofBooks At least it's off the list!!! 2y
sharread @TheAromaofBooks Yipeee ❤❤❤ 2y
36 likes2 comments
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Havinghope10
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Panpan

10 // 2021: “The slightest thing delighted him. I wished I could be more like that, and tried to promise myself I‘d work harder to be happier.”

Not my favorite, but I've been told to try another Ottessa Moshfegh piece before making any final judgments. I'm not built to enjoy an unreliable narrator or an open-ended ending!!!
A quick read, nonetheless.

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Kappadeemom
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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I just finished this and I think it‘s the worst book I‘ve read this year. I‘ve noticed that most reviewers either really love it or really hate it. I just didn‘t get it and the killing of the dog at the end (and the way it was killed) was just unnecessary.

35 likes1 stack add
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vivastory
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Pickpick

Moshfegh's latest has much in common with Olga Tokarczuk's “Drive Your Plow over the Bones of the Dead.“ Both novels feature secluded & elderly protagonists who find themselves involved in trying to solve a murder. Both also reference the works of William Blake. Yet, for all of her similarities to Drive Your Plow etc, Moshfegh's is definitely worth reading. One aspect that sets Death in Her Hands apart is the fact that it is a murder mystery👇

vivastory without a body. Our narrator, Vesta Gul, accompanied by her canine companion & the spectral advice of her deceased pedantic husband is a compelling narrator. Moshfegh is able to successfully drive the narrative with minimal external dialogue & few characters. This is no small feat. Loss, paranoia & ambiguity add up to a memorable experience. (edited) 3y
Ruthiella I have to read My Year of Rest and Relaxation first! So many books...😅 3y
vivastory @Ruthiella My Year of Rest etc is still TBR for me too. It's my only unread Moshfegh, But yes, so so many books! 3y
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Cathythoughts Great review! I‘ve read her other 2 books ... I have tagged one on my shelf fir awhile .. your review has inspired me to take it down later today 👍🏻 3y
Cathythoughts I did like Drive Her Bones , so I‘m very interested now 3y
erzascarletbookgasm This was a good read. I liked it and Drive Your Plow; still need to read My Year of Rest. 3y
Megabooks Great review! 3y
BarbaraBB Wonderful review. 3y
RohitSawant One of my most anticipated authors! 3y
95 likes9 comments
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vivastory
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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One third of the way through & really enjoying it so far. Can't help but think of Drive Your Plow etc, but so far it has fewer characters.

mariaku21 I really liked Drive Your Plow etc..Going to have to looking for this at the library! Thank you! 3y
Bookish.SAM I felt the similarities with Drive Your Plow too. I enjoyed both! 3y
BarbaraBB Yes! @emilyhaldi just made the connection with Drive Your Plow too! Both are favorites of mine. I rated Drive higher but I remember this one more vividly - for what it‘s worth! 3y
emilyhaldi Yes, so much in common between the two!! 3y
77 likes3 stack adds4 comments
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emilyhaldi
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Pickpick

This was a slow burn but the ending has lingered with me for a while... It reminded me a lot of Drive your Plow over the Bones of the Dead, but I preferred this. Written beautifully and with just enough creepiness & quirk.

This checks off my April #bookspin pick for #bookspinbingo

BarbaraBB Yes! I felt the comparison between those two too. Both are so good 💚 3y
TheAromaofBooks Woohoo!! 3y
Reviewsbylola I didn‘t realize she had a new(ish) book. Not sure how I missed it! 3y
78 likes1 stack add3 comments
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Megabooks
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Pickpick

Usually when I read a book a second time, I get more clarity/understanding than after my first read. No so with this one. It has the same tension building through the narrative that I so loved in Eileen, but a whole lot more to unpack. Still, I‘d read anything she writes. I can‘t wait for her new book! #audiobook #reread

Cinfhen This has lots of mixed reviews/ did u prefer audio or print?? I have this on my kindle but maybe I‘ll add audio narration?!? 3y
Megabooks @Cinfhen I prefer all her books on audio. Even though they all have different narrators, there‘s just something about her style that I think goes well with audio. 3y
BarbaraBB I loved this one too. I still van visualize the book vividly which is an exception for me. Can‘t wait for her next book later this year!! 3y
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Megabooks @BarbaraBB yes! She‘s a very visual author. I can always reread her books. I‘ve loved her since I first checked Eileen out from the library thanks to a debut author email. I own all four of her books now, and of course I will auto buy the fifth. 👍🏻👍🏻 3y
BarbaraBB I haven‘t read the short stories. Are they as good? 3y
Cinfhen Thanks for your input xx 😘 3y
Megabooks @BarbaraBB yes!! I have read them two or three times. I‘d love for her to publish another collection. Mr. Wu is among my all-time favorite stories. They have the same visual bent as her books and have the same wonderful peculiarity. In fact, some are even more experimental than she‘s gotten in her novels. 3y
BarbaraBB Good to know! Thanks! 3y
106 likes3 stack adds8 comments
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mamushka68
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
Pickpick

Sad story about loneliness and depression. You can see the progression into her own dead switching between whats made up and what's real. Hard to read but felt helps you in some ways to realize how older people aren't able to express how they are feeling as they loose their minds.

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BookishTrish
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Pickpick

One part cozy mystery, one part rambling library patron‘s conspiracy theories, and one part fuck you to the patriarchal voices in our heads, I LOVED THIS BOOK.*

BookishTrish *trigger warning for animal violence 3y
Eyelit I LOVE those 🦩 😍 3y
BookishTrish @Eyelit Thanks!!!! 3y
Susannah Thank you for the trigger warning! I‘ll have to skip this one. 😕 3y
61 likes4 stack adds4 comments
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Cosyreader
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Panpan

I really gave this a chance. It was shortlisted for the Staunch book prize which is for a thriller that doesn‘t feature any violence towards women. Even though nothing (absolutely nothing) happens in the book in terms of violence, a lot still goes on in the mc‘s head so we‘re still reading about a woman being brutally murdered because Vesta imagines it 🤷‍♀️ read if you want, I‘ve just wasted the week on this and I‘m actually naffed off 😩😂

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Redwritinghood
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Mehso-so

This author - I always like her writing style but hate her stories. This is the stream-of-consciousness of an older woman, recently widowed from a egotistical, controlling husband. She creates a world in her head and eventually we come around to her recognizing her true feelings about her deceased husband, but it was a bit of a slog to get there. 2⭐️

Trashcanman Hugs! Big hugs! 3y
Megabooks I still gave this a pick, but it‘s my least favorite of her books. 3y
Reggie I panned Eileen, but ask me a question about it because I remember ALL of it. And if a book is that bad, should I be able to remember ALL of it? Lol 3y
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Redwritinghood @Reggie Same. Her writing is affective, but I‘m consistently disliking her books. 3y
Redwritinghood @Megabooks I have yet to read anything by her that I like, but I still respect her writing. 3y
48 likes1 stack add6 comments
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Dolly
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Panpan

Monotonous. This was the second book by this author I really did not like at all. The other-My Year of Rest and Relaxation- I couldn‘t get through. Others may enjoy but I won‘t try another by the same writer. 🤷🏼‍♀️

TrishB I always give an author 2 goes! 3y
Dolly @TrishB For me it depends on why I didn‘t like the books. For Moshfegh I disliked both for the same reason, whereas an author like Joyce Carol Oats I will give her more leeway because her subject matter is much more varied. 3y
33 likes2 comments
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batsy
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Thank you @Smarkies for the Moshfegh which I've been coveting for so long! 😍 Plus the chocolate that I can't wait to eat and the kind message in the card 💕

A lovely treat to have as January gets going; thank you @bookish_wookish for organising 🙂 #LittleChristmasSwap #LCS

Smarkies 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 3y
bookish_wookish 😃🎄 3y
erzascarletbookgasm One of my favourite reads last year. Enjoy! 3y
See All 9 Comments
readordierachel Oh, that edition of the Moshfegh is cool 😍 3y
LeahBergen And that‘s a nice edition, too! 😍 3y
batsy @erzascarletbookgasm Yay! I'm looking forward :) 3y
batsy @readordierachel @LeahBergen It's a great cover 😍 3y
Cathythoughts Oh that‘s great 👏🏻😁 3y
83 likes1 stack add9 comments
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BarbaraBB
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Day 10 of #12booksof2020

My favorite by Moshfegh. I loved the main character and the way the reader follows close while she‘s doing her daily chores. So close that we note all that deviates from those routines. Loved it.

Ruthiella Must read more Moshfegh! 3y
Cathythoughts I have this one ... must get to it 👍🏻❤️ 3y
KVanRead Great review- loved this one for exactly that reason. 3y
britt_brooke LOVE Moshfegh. 3y
70 likes2 stack adds4 comments
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AlizaApp
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Mehso-so

I wanted to love this as much as her other novels, but I didn‘t. A murder mystery without a body (or much of a mystery), and with most of the novel taking place in the head of an old woman whose imagination gets the best of her. I suspect other novelists will appreciate the construct more. I usually love novels about difficult women but this one fell flat for me.

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Bertha_Mason
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh

"Walter and I had shared a mind, of course. Couples get that way. I think it has something to do with sharing a bed. The mind, untethered during sleep, travels up and away, dancing, sometimes in partners. Things pass back and forth in dreams."

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shadowspeak17
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Pickpick

⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
There were a few things about this book that reminded me a lot of Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead, a book I really enjoyed and would highly recommend, but it still did its own thing. The story was a bit meta with an unreliable narrator, which were two aspects I liked. The beginning grabbed me, but I was bored for a good chunk in the middle before things finally clicked for me again toward the end. So it was a bit of an ⬇️

shadowspeak17 uneven experience for me, but overall I liked it well enough.

#catsoflitsy #Phoenix
3y
51 likes1 comment
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Gina
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Mehso-so

So much potential. Such a page tuner. Then a big fizzle ending. The writing is beautiful and engaging so not a total loss. 3 stars... next!

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Gina
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Soooo that's got to be the most bizarre line I have read in a long time.

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Gina
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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A murder mystery and comfort food. Very happy making!

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Bookish.SAM
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Pickpick

Ottessa Moshfegh is such a must-read author for me ❤️
In this one, the main character is a little more relatable than in her previous works I‘ve read (old lady living by the lake with her 🐶? ✅ Definitely me in a few decades!)

It‘s also a testament to Moshfegh‘s skill to write so much intensity and suspense with little outward dialogue or action.

A cozy mystery - a mysterious note, an old lady and her dog - or something much sadder? Or Both?

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BarbaraBB
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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#BookReport 43/20

Three books done and three winners also. So, a good week!

squirrelbrain You do read some wonderful sounding books! 3y
TrishB Good week👍🏻 3y
Cathythoughts Looking forward to Death in her Hands👍🏻❤️ 3y
Megabooks I can‘t believe we‘re starting the 44th week of the year! Crazy. Glad you had a good reading week! 🎉 3y
54 likes1 stack add4 comments
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JackOBotts
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
Pickpick

Finished this, my 6th read for #Screamathon, today. I am a fan of Moshfegh‘s characters, and find Vesta Gul to be among her most “appealing”. I was rooting for her.

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JackOBotts
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Gina
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Oooohhhh tell me more! Tell me so much more my dear storyteller!

MamaGina Ohhhh...intriguing.🤓 3y
Gina @MamaGina the first few pages just suck you right in 3y
12 likes2 comments
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BarbaraBB
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Pickpick

No one can write about loneliness like Moshfegh can. Vesta is an elder woman living with her dog in a secluded cabin. When she finds a mysterious note in the woods she decides to solve the mystery. While investigating, her loneliness is obvious and poignant, like when she describes the futility of running a bath when her body now seems “so little, a little thing I had to keep clean, like washing a single dish one uses constantly.” Continued ⬇️⬇️

BarbaraBB As a reader you keep hoping that Vesta is right, that she proves herself right and that her lonely life will not turn out to be a bleak, delusionary existence. Highly recommended! 3y
erzascarletbookgasm 🙌 I read this book for the same prompt too! Agree, I was rooting for Vesta. ❤️💔 3y
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JackOBotts Great review! I picked this up as a current read yesterday...definitely all the more exciting to keep reading now! 🤗 3y
BarbaraBB @JackOBotts thank you! I hope you‘ll end up liking it as much as I did! 3y
alisiakae Great pick and review! 🎉🙌🏽 3y
Megabooks Fantastic review! 3y
Cinfhen Fabulous review 🥰 I definitely want to pick this book up at some point even though I run hot & cold with Moshfegh. 3y
BarbaraBB @Cinfhen I know what you mean but she writes so good and like @erzascarletbookgasm mentions, you will be rooting for Vesta because she is such a nice lady (nothing like Eileen for example 😉) 3y
Cinfhen Oh good, because I generally dislike her main characters 3y
JennyM So glad you enjoyed it and great review. I wish this had been my experience but it was a miss for me - and I usually love her books. 3y
BarbaraBB @JennyM I mostly lover her book too. I was glad this one had a likable character. But... I loved Plow even better! 3y
77 likes2 stack adds13 comments
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shadowspeak17
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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1. Saga: Book One and Death in Her Hands
2. Annihilation
3. Vagina Problems
#weekendreads

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JackOBotts
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Starting what may be my final #Screamathon read!

32 likes1 stack add
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reema
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
Mehso-so

I‘m so conflicted with this one. The writing is brilliant. You get a true feel of the main character, Vesta Gul, and her life, current and past with her former husband, Walter. It starts of normal enough and becomes a meandering, almost unhinged mess, which clearly reflects the character‘s mind. But I‘m left feeling...unfulfilled? I wanted more.

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erzascarletbookgasm
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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Pickpick

The story begins with a murder, but if you expect a typical murder mystery, you‘ll be frustrated. I see how this has polarising reactions..at times I was impatient with Vesta for dwelling too much on her ‘theory‘ and ‘investigation‘. As her narrative drifts, she looks back on her life, and multiple layers of her dark past are revealed. It‘s another story of loneliness and isolation from Moshfegh, but it‘s also of how ⬇️

#Booked2020 #newin2020

erzascarletbookgasm .. an unloved woman with unfulfilled life finally got control over her own life story. Sad, bleak, haunting, and the writing shines. 3y
Erinreadsthebooks Moshfegh is a genius in my book! 💯 3y
Megabooks Agree @Erinreadsthebooks ! Great review @erzascarletbookgasm 👍🏻👍🏻 3y
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batsy Nice review! Definitely sounds like my cup of tea. 3y
Cathythoughts Wow. Great review... I have it & I‘m looking even more forward to it now ❤️ 3y
BarbaraTheBibliophage Great review. I haven‘t tried her yet, but this makes me want to. (edited) 3y
Cinfhen Excellent review!!! Makes me want to try this one 3y
erzascarletbookgasm @Megabooks thanks! And I‘m beginning to think so too, @Erinreadsthebooks 💫 3y
erzascarletbookgasm @batsy I‘m pretty sure it is, since you liked Eileen and My Year of R&R! 3y
erzascarletbookgasm @Cathythoughts I look forward to your thoughts when you get to it. 😘 3y
erzascarletbookgasm Thanks @BarbaraTheBibliophage @Cinfhen I‘m not sure if this is a good book to start her off..maybe her short story collection Homesick For Another World?? 🤔 Cindy, I think you‘ve read McGlue, and if you enjoy that, you MAY like this. 😁 3y
Megabooks @Cinfhen Go Audio!! So good!! 3y
67 likes12 comments
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WellReadCatLady
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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I just love how Ottessa writes characters whose most of the dialogue is in their heads.

14 likes1 stack add
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Godpants
Death in Her Hands | Ottessa Moshfegh
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I‘ve had this on my TBR for months now and I just keep delaying my hold, so maybe now is the time I‘m ready for it.