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Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing | Matthew Perry
The beloved star of Friends takes us behind the scenes of the hit sitcom and his struggles with addiction in this candid, funny, and revelatory memoir that delivers a powerful message of hope and persistence In an extraordinary story that only he could tell, Matthew Perry takes readers onto the soundstage of the most successful sitcom of all time while opening up about his private struggles with addiction. Candid, self-aware, and told with his trademark humor, Perry vividly details his lifelong battle with the disease and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all. Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that shares the most intimate details of the love Perry lost, his darkest days, and his greatest friends. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and hilarious: this is the book fans have been waiting for.
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TheHungryBookworms
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Bailedbailed

Couldnt do it. I tapped out. The story might be good but i cant deal with him narrating it. Also the time line is all over the place and its supper confusing..😩😩😩

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Lenamarcela339
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actualdisneyprincess
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Pickpick

This was an unflinching, heartbreaking, and yet ultimately hopeful memoir. I hope that Perry receives nothing but good things in life from here on out - he has faced his demons, and has done his best to be nothing but light in the world. So much admiration for his honesty and candor, and his ability to find laughter in even the worst experiences. #matthewperry #friendsloversandthebigterriblething #memoir

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actualdisneyprincess
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It takes a lot of courage to candidly lay out your worst demons for the world. Bravo, Matthew, and may all that is good come your way. #friendsloversandthebigterriblething #matthewperry #memoir #addiction #friends #actor #chandlerbing #studio60 #mattalbie

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deeannloso
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Mehso-so

It was an okay memoir. What‘s his issue with Keanu Reeves? Also, I know he has money but no need to brag about it so much. 🙄 Other than being famous, we do have a few things in common. I‘m not an addict or an alcoholic, but I did abuse alcohol for quite a few years. I had daddy issues, abandonment syndrome and, therefore, pushed men away before they could leave me. I didn‘t screw up my life quite as badly as he did. Glad he‘s recovering.

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deeannloso
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“Perry divulges what his benders were like, how it started, who helped him, and the lowest lows that he experienced (an anecdote about riffling through people‘s medicine cabinets for pills is gutting)—much of which happened when he was starring in one of the hottest, and some could argue most iconic, shows on television. Could he be any more honest? I mean, maybe, but he‘s alive and telling his story.”

29 likes1 stack add
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RebL
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I‘ve loved so many people with big terrible things that I would have to talk to a therapist before I could discern what I think of this book.
~
It‘s been almost a decade since my ex moved out. This weekend, my 20 YO baby is helping make space for me in my home, starting with three filing cabinets. So much paper!

11 likes2 stack adds
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NikkiKey94
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Pickpick

I am only a few seasons into watching Friends and there‘s so much I never knew about Matthew Perry. I wanted to listen to his memoir on audiobook because it was read by him and it was so good. There were times when I cringed, times when I was angry, and times when I wanted to cry. Im really glad I decided to listen to this one.

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Sara_Planz
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Pickpick

This is an unflinching look at Matthew Perry‘s life in his own words. His brutal honesty about his battles with drugs, alcohol and medical issues were heartbreaking, but his resilience and hope to find sobriety on the other side is what gives this book balance. Perry‘s path can serve as a cautionary tale while also giving hope to those who might be battling their own demons, and I applaud his courage in sharing these struggles so openly.

32 likes1 stack add
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squirrelbrain
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Mehso-so

I‘m really not sure how I feel about this book, or about Perry after reading it. The book itself had a disjointed timeline, and a lot of repetition.

As for Perry, at times I felt sorry for him as he‘s clearly been through a LOT but I also disliked a lot of what he said. He blames an awful lot on his Mum, he boasts about how good he is at helping other addicts and has a confusing take on God / religion.

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squirrelbrain Overall, I don‘t think he‘s done himself any favours. By trying to be open and honest he comes across (to me) as needy and, dare I say it, rather unlikeable. 😬 2w
Monica5 I have been seeing that a lot in reviews. I was gonna read it bc he's Chandler, but now with everyone saying the same thing, I may just skip it🤷 2w
Suet624 This seems to be the universal feeling about this book. Your review outlines the particular issues with the book quite well. 2w
See All 11 Comments
Cinfhen Yeah. This book did not serve him well. I really hope he‘s made significant changes to his lifestyle & I pray he finds peace but I will never be able to watch Friends with the same joy I once did 😟 2w
DogMomIrene I see a Litsy trend growing here. I watched him on Bill Maher and thought the same thing, like dude you‘re Chanandler Bong, how are you so unlikeable? And then I was like, oh yeah, acting. Thanks for the review. I‘ll be skipping this one. 2w
squirrelbrain @Monica5 @Suet624 @DogMomIrene - it‘s such a shame, but you‘re right Irene, he must have put such an ‘acting‘ face on for all those years. 2w
squirrelbrain @Cinfhen I know, me neither. He was my favourite character too. 😞 2w
DogMomIrene @squirrelbrain true! And Bill Maher commented that he thought Perry‘s best work was in front of him. Maybe he‘ll be the next Robert Downey Jr. maybe he evolves. Who knows🤷🏻‍♀️ 2w
Megabooks Excellent review! I agree with almost everything you‘ve written! 2w
Caroline2 Oh wow… unstacked!! 😬 2w
thewallflower0707 I listened to the episode by Celebrity Book Memoir on this book and it really turned off on touching that book. If you don‘t want to spend money but still want to know what‘s going on, I really recommend it. 1w
69 likes11 comments
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Tiffiney
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Pickpick

Wow…what a great read! I had no idea how crazy his addiction was. He really bares it all in this book. Kudos to him! I highly recommend this one if you like a good memoir ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

50 likes1 stack add
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MicheleinPhilly
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Mehso-so

I wasn‘t planning on reading this and I kind of wish I hadn‘t. I am always reluctant to judge someone else‘s story but this could have benefitted from a heavier editorial hand. It is an important story, to be sure, but with so much focus on being famous and having lots of sex, I feel like the larger message was lost in the muddle. I wish him well and hope he stays sober but this just made me feel sorry for him. 😬

squirrelbrain I‘ve nearly finished the audio and have much the same thoughts as you…. 2w
52 likes1 comment
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Bookjunkie57
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Pickpick

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

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Bookfan3
Pickpick

Honest, funny and sad all at once. Matthew opens up with bravery and discusses his struggles with alcohol and prescription medications. Enjoyed it

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JenReadsAlot
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Mehso-so

As an addiction memoir I think it was good and important to share. I am a therapist for drug court so appreciated his writing about that. As an overall book it was not well written and he really did not come across as a likable person.

TheDaysGoBy I‘ve been seeing a lot of so-so reviews on this one which kinda bums me out. He was always my fave on Friends. I will still read I‘m sure but I think I‘m tempering my expectations now 3w
JenReadsAlot @TheDaysGoBy I was expecting funnier, but man he's been through hell... 3w
Cinfhen Yeah!! It was hard to “root” for him at times and I didn‘t expect to feel that way. Of course, I pray he stays clean & finds inner peace. 3w
43 likes3 comments
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keys_on_fire
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I love Matthew Perry and I wanted to love his book more. I‘m really STILL struggling with rating this one…
This is an addict‘s memoir, & he really goes into detail about his journey. At times, I felt like it jumped around & was repetitive. At first, I thought this was not helping the story, but now I wonder if it was on purpose to help underscore how much the drugs mess with and steal from you. I truly pray he can stay clean now.

EvieBee That‘s an interesting perspective! Also sadly true. 3w
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shanebeth
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Mehso-so

Matthew has some good stories to tell, but this got repetitive and the timeline of events was somewhat confusing, especially toward the end. mostly it just left me hoping he really is ok. I listened to the audiobook, and I did enjoy his narration. I rated it 3 ⭐️s.

book 14/22 for 22

Cinfhen Agree with everything you said!! This book left me feeling really sad 😔 3w
18 likes1 comment
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Cazxxx
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Pickpick

Could I BE anymore excited to have finished this?
I found this fascinating, funny in parts while being heartbreaking in how addiction has ruined his life plus the emptiness that he seems to have always felt. Its quite surprising he‘s managed to have such a successful career with the magnitude of his addictions. It‘s not the best written memoir I‘ve ever read but I‘m a HUGE friends fan so for me this was a pick. I may be a bit biased though 😂

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Chelsea.Poole
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Pickpick

Oof this is hard to rate because I found it compelling but the writing was just not good and the whole thing read as a girlfriend-seeking mission. Cringey, but at the same time I felt like HE thinks he‘s pouring his heart out so I can‘t help but feel for him in his sobriety struggle and loneliness. There‘s much better out there but how often do you get to hear from Chandler Bing? Could he BE anymore braggy? I grew up with Friends!

thewallflower0707 I‘m listening to the episode from Celebrity Memoir Book Club, and the way he described women and especially how obsessed he was with Jennifer Anniston creeps me out. 3w
Chelsea.Poole @thewallflower0707 yes! I totally see that. I don‘t know that this book is going to help him in the girlfriend seeking mission he is on 😬 but he certainly is getting lots of publicity so 🤷🏼‍♀️ 3w
BarbaraBB I love your review even though I probably won‘t read the book. I am intrigued though by the fact that he was obsessed with Jennifer Anniston. I didn‘t know that. 3w
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thewallflower0707 @BarbaraBB apparently he never got over that she didn‘t want to sleep with him, and then acted weirdly around her on the Friends set 🙄 3w
BarbaraBB Really? I thought they were friends. How naive! @thewallflower0707 😉 3w
Megabooks Yes, all the stuff about gfs was 💯 cringey. 😬 3w
Smrloomis Oh wow… your review is interesting but I think I‘ll be skipping this one. The gf stuff sounds yucky! 3w
92 likes1 stack add7 comments
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Jhullie
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Pickpick

My heart is a little broken after reading this. The man who brought laughter to so many during those heady days of Friends has suffered so much. He is honest about his struggle with addiction, revealing consequences I never knew. At the same time he makes colostomy bags and their tendency to break almost funny…almost. This is not a laugh out loud memoir but occasional belly laughs did erupt out of me. I have respect for the man, actor, friend.

Cinfhen Great review. This really was sad 😔 4w
33 likes1 comment
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Megabooks
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Mehso-so

Dude has an ego on him! Sheesh. But it‘s all in a humble brag sort of way. Like several times he says things to the effect of, “Nothing gets me higher than getting people of drugs!” As an addiction memoir, it was okay. As a celebrity memoir it was about average on juice and insight. Count me among the mixed reviews on this. Glad it was a #BorrowNotBuy 🤷🏻‍♀️ #NFNov

Chelsea.Poole Just started this. I agree. The bragging 😣 4w
RamsFan1963 I think I'll pass, I hate the humble brag. 4w
Prairiegirl_reading He hates himself so much and still has a huge ego. It‘s bizarre. 4w
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Cinfhen Great review!! The “humble brag” - exactly!!! 4w
Ann_Reads Good review. I think I'll take a pass on this one too. I liked Friends back in the day but I'm not a fan of the wealthy person humble brag. 4w
Hooked_on_books Based on the reviews I‘ve seen of this, I will for sure be passing on it. I‘ve always liked him and will hopefully preserve as much of that feeling as I can by not reading this. 4w
BarbaraBB A humble brag! 4w
BarbaraBB @Hooked_on_books I came to the same conclusion! 4w
Megabooks @Chelsea.Poole yeah it was pretty obnoxious. 🙄 4w
Megabooks @Prairiegirl_reading it is! What you said 💯 nails it. 4w
Megabooks @Cinfhen thanks! This was a disappointment. 4w
Megabooks @RamsFan1963 @Ann_Reads @Hooked_on_books I‘d 💯 be okay passing on this. I do like him a bit less, Holly, so that‘s a good call. 4w
Megabooks @BarbaraBB humble brag is such an interesting US phrase, but it does capture statements like the above really well! 4w
Cinfhen I think a lot of the humble brag was his sarcastic humor but it just fell flat. It‘s a shame that his memoir had such a negative effect for so many of us, but I‘ve seen some really good reviews from others who felt differently. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 4w
BarbaraBB We have a Dutch podcast about humble bragging, it‘s so funny! 4w
Megabooks @BarbaraBB cool!! What does it translate to in Dutch? (Like the words.) I always think it‘s cool learning a bit. 4w
Megabooks @Cinfhen yeah, and him saying things like, I changed the way America talks, but I agree he fell flat this time. 🙁 4w
BarbaraBB We use the English ones. So original 😂 4w
kristina.weber I've seen a few people mention bragging, and I really didn't see it that way. He has a strength, and he recognizes it. He has a lot of faults, too, that he recognizes. I don't see a problem with him acknowledging that he's good at what he does. 3w
91 likes1 stack add19 comments
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FantasyChick
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Pickpick

So I have mixed feelings. I felt this was a pretty raw and heartbreaking account of what addiction will do to you. I agree that there is a lot of jumping which causes a bit of a disconnect and drove me a bit nuts as well. I've seen a lot about how he comes off as entitled or boastful when talking about his money but that didn't bother me as I saw it as more him getting into his mindset of who he was at that time and not who he is now. ⬇️⬇️

FantasyChick I can see a younger, up and coming star on the verge of serious problems definitely having that "better than you" attitude so I wasn't really turned off by it. I think some of the revelations during his time as Chandler were interesting points I never noticed and the whole thing was quite eye opening. I did start feeling a bit bored part way through but I got back there towards the end. Thinking about a rewatch now that I know what I know. 4w
37 likes2 stack adds1 comment
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Bekkers
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Pickpick

Book #59 done for 2022. This was a very interesting read. It shows that no matter how much money you have addiction and depression do not care.

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Deblovestoread
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I admit that I shed a few tears at the end of listening to his story and was in a bit of a funk the rest of the evening. He has been through a harrowing time of addiction and alcoholism and is lucky to be alive. That said the book is disjointed and more than once I had to stop because I thought I missed something. I believe he wants his story to be helpful but I‘m not sure he reached that goal. I wanted more depth? vulnerability? It missed ⬇️

Deblovestoread the mark for me. 4w
squirrelbrain I‘m going to give this one a go this week, despite the mixed reviews…. 4w
Megabooks 💯 agree that it missed the mark 🙁 4w
Deblovestoread @squirrelbrain I will be interested in your thoughts. I so wanted to love this book. 4w
squirrelbrain I started it today on audio, but didn‘t get very far yet…I‘ll let you know! I have to say, my expectations have been lowered somewhat…. 😬 4w
56 likes2 stack adds5 comments
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Cinfhen
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Mehso-so

So I binged this memoir over the course of a day and I‘m not really sure how I feel. I admire Matthew for sharing so many private moments, actions & feelings, as I believe he did so in order to help others who may be struggling but I‘m not sure he was completely in the right head space to be dispensing any kind of wisdom. This story is not told chronologically, so it reads as erratic, disjointed.👇🏽

Cinfhen I was confused with the timelines and couldn‘t always follow his journey. I blame his editor for missing the mark and ultimately doing Matthew a disservice.
I‘m truly amazed that he was able to deliver 10 seasons of Friends knowing now all that was going on during those years. Ultimately this is a sad story without a happy ending.
1mo
squirrelbrain Interesting…! I think I‘ll still listen to it, although I just read a review in The Observer newspaper that said he comes across as a bit boastful about his wealth, and rather unlikeable in some places. 1mo
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Prairiegirl_reading I agree with you. And I honestly came out of this liking him a whole lot less. 😞 1mo
Cinfhen Yeah, me too @Prairiegirl_reading I feel bad saying that but I think the article in the Observer is correct @squirrelbrain he does present as boastful and not very remorseful. I know he uses humor to cover up his insecurities but his sarcasm fell flat. 1mo
jdiehr During the Diane Sawyer interview, whenever they read an excerpt from the book, I thought it sounded weird. Like the writing was somehow "off" 1mo
squirrelbrain Hmmm.. I may return this and choose something else. 🤔 1mo
merelybookish Haven't read it but saw his comment about Keanu Reeves which felt... unnecessary and resentful. (Although it was taken out of context so maybe makes more sense in the book.) 1mo
JenReadsAlot I'm about halfway done listening to it and completely agree with you so far! 1mo
deeannloso I plan on listening to the audiobook next month. 1mo
Cinfhen I thought the Keanu comment was Perry‘s attempt at humor and even in his delivery the “joke” fell flat @merelybookish Im not surprised the editor left it in though, it‘s getting tons of sound bites. And that‘s what they like…press. But it was totally unnecessary and I don‘t think it was meant to be taken as something serious. 4w
Cinfhen Other than probably needing the $ @jdiehr @JenReadsAlot im not sure why he chose to tell his story now 🤷🏼‍♀️it left me feeling really sad. I‘ll be curious to hear your thoughts @deeannloso once you listen. 4w
Cinfhen LMK what you decided @squirrelbrain I will say it‘s very bingy!! Once you start listening it‘s hard to stop. 4w
britt_brooke Appreciate your honesty! I‘m waiting on this hold. 4w
BarbaraBB Interesting thoughts. Sounds sad indeed. 4w
deeannloso @Cinfhen I‘ll post my thoughts on it after I‘ve finished it. 😊 4w
Cinfhen Thanks everyone!! I‘m always curious how others feel when reading the same book @britt_brooke @BarbaraBB @deeannloso 4w
Megabooks Agree with most of this after finishing. 👍🏻😘😘 4w
Cinfhen You know I‘m eagerly awaiting your review @Megabooks 🙌🏻 4w
94 likes19 comments
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Christine
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Pickpick

Listened to this despite not really intending to and thought it was a pretty great memoir. I was a standard-level Friends enthusiast based on my demographic (i.e., I really loved it), and I was satisfied with/charmed by how he covered that. I feel like he writes about his addiction struggles (and questionable life choices, directly related or not) thoughtfully and shares more than any onlooker deserves to know, but in a way that I hope might ⬇️

Christine help or encourage some. I‘ll be honest in that I don‘t think he comes off as super likable or even funny within these pages, but I also don‘t know that he was focused on being either. I still thought it was a compelling read and wish good things and continued recovery for him. (Re: the apparent Keanu controversy - I read that as a joke Perry was making, albeit not a funny one? I wasn't offended, even as a Keanu-appreciater. 🙂) (edited) 1mo
Reggie Yeah, he was fine until he said what he said about Keanu. And I‘m usually ok with the jokes. It just hit different. I look at puppy dog Keanu and wonder why he had to come for him. Lol idk. 4w
Christine @Reggie LOL fair, as Keanu is the best! I did blanch at that but also just thought it was another of Perry‘s jokes falling flat for me. (And I‘m a general hater of insult humor.) And somehow it felt in line with the rest of the book, in which he was often unlikable to me. And yet I really enjoyed it overall! 🤣🤷‍♀️ (Also I haven‘t followed coverage of the Keanu thing…are they known mortal enemies?? Maybe more ill intent than I realized!) (edited) 4w
Reggie I don‘t think he knows him. I think there‘s a lot of jealousy there. All I can think of Perry is 3 to Tango and Fools Rush in. Keanu, I could probably name you 30 of his movies. AND there is this Netflix movie with Ali Wong where Keanu plays himself making so much fun of himself you just love him even more. 4w
Christine @Reggie I‘d buy that re: jealousy! And OMG yes I love Always Be My Maybe and Keanu‘s presence in it!!! (I‘m also obsessed with his role in the third Spongebob movie. 🤣 So good.) 4w
43 likes1 stack add5 comments
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persephone1408
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Pickpick

*in best nazaly voice* OH MY GOD its Chandler Bing!
I quite enjoyed this memoir. Folks are apparently freaking out about his comment about Keanu but I could care less. It really felt like Matthew was talking about me. (Except for the alcohol...and the acting) This book is mainly about the big terrible thing and if you don't know already, that's addiction. I just celebrated my 5 year sobriety birthday, & I also quit smoking 3 years ago. ⬇⬇⬇

persephone1408 Continued So yea...I'm fat now lol I recommend this book. To anyone still suffering with this big terrible thing, we can get better, you just have to put in the work. 4🌟 1mo
KristiAhlers congratulations on your sobriety! I know how much work that takes, sadly I lost my sister to her addictions. And it wasn‘t pretty. This one is on my list to read but haven‘t picked it up yet. 1mo
persephone1408 @KristiAhlers thank you and I'm so sorry about your sister. My brother is still in active addiction and there's no way to make someone get better, sadly. They have to want it bad enough. 1mo
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KristiAhlers @persephone1408 exactly. She totally gave up when the doctors told her she had to be clean and sober for a year before they could do a liver transplant. They were going to be able to give her meds to get her through it and she said no. She died before she was 45. The book that got me past the “I am soo pissed at you I can‘t think straight or mourn you” phase was Nikki Sixx‘s Heroine Diaries. He helped me to understand possibly where she was 1mo
KristiAhlers Mentally and it allowed me to let go of a great deal of the frustration and anger I was toting around. 1mo
persephone1408 @KristiAhlers they also have al anon which is for families and friends of addicts. 1mo
peaknit I‘m so happy to celebrate your sobriety, it‘s not an easy road, you should be so proud. It works if you work it 😉 I‘m listening to the book and the jury is out for me yet on rating, but I understand the power of addiction and celebrate that for him. 4w
20 likes7 comments
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Cinfhen
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Megabooks This is up next for me too! 👍🏻👍🏻 1mo
Megabooks I‘m also listening to this. It is every bit as dark as I find Dickens! 1mo
Cinfhen Im saving Demon for #Booked2023 #ModernTakeOnAClassic @Megabooks but my expectations are HIGH!!! 1mo
Cinfhen I finished the Perry- im not sure this memoir is going to win him any friends @Megabooks I‘ll be curious to hear your thoughts 1mo
63 likes4 comments
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persephone1408
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ShyBookOwl Oh, how is this?! I've been ALMOST curious enough to check it out 1mo
persephone1408 @ShyBookOwl its good. Its mostly about addiction. It's like he's telling my story. Except for the girl he dated who he broke up with cause she's obsessed with death. Cause I am that girl lol. 1mo
ShyBookOwl @persephone1408 Seeing yourself in a memoir is such a surreal and affirming experience. I'm not an addict but I was raised by one. I think I'd like to hear his story. I may use tomorrow's audible credit on it 😊 1mo
24 likes3 comments
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JenReadsAlot
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1. I think Barnes and Nobles when I was out in Washington state on vacation
2. 🤷‍♀️📚
3. Tagged on audio and reading Dinners with Ruth
Thanks @Kshakal @Eggs #wondrouswednesday

Kshakal How is the audio of this book?? I can‘t decide if I want to read it or listen to it! 1mo
JenReadsAlot @Kshakal I'm about 2 hours in and I think he's doing a good job. 1mo
Eggs Thanks for joining in ❤️ 1mo
18 likes4 comments
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esurient
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persephone1408 People are aloud to dislike people. You can love Keanu, but you don't know him. 🤷🏻 1mo
peaknit I didn‘t like this line either, I was like dude, none of us are God. (Or whatever people happen to believe in) 🤦🏼‍♀️ and I have heard very kind things about the man Keanu is in recent years so there‘s that. Lol. 4w
5 likes2 comments
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Caroline2
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Ohhh super excited about these two biographies being published soon! 😯 👏

Caroline2 @TrishB I bet J and C will be interested too. 😉 3mo
Deblovestoread I pre-ordered Matthew‘s but didn‘t know about Tom‘s so thank you! 3mo
Blerdgal_Fenix I preordered Tom‘s book!! 3mo
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TrishB Cool 👍🏻 I can def see those being purchased 😁 3mo
Jhullie I am just beginning Matthew‘s and Tom‘s is next 💙📘💚📗 1mo
peaknit I have both also, I started Tom, switched the Matthew and will wrap up with Tom lol. 4w
89 likes6 comments
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Cazxxx
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Will be pre ordering with my next audible credit! I‘m a huge huge friends fan. I literally watch the whole series and once it‘s finished start straight over again. I‘d love to know how many times I‘ve seen it 😂

peanutnine Lol same, I was obsessed with that show. This looks like it will be an interesting read, he's dealt with a lot over the years 10mo
Cazxxx @peanutnine I think it will be very interesting, he‘s certainly had a colourful life 10mo
25 likes1 stack add2 comments