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Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village
Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village | Maureen Johnson, Jay Cooper
58 posts | 41 read | 82 to read
Thinking of a foray to a quaint English village? You'll think twice after reading this tongue-in-cheek illustrated guide to the countless murderous possibilities lurking behind these villages' bucolic faades--from bestselling author Maureen Johnson and illustrator Jay Cooper. In the England of murder mysteries and TV detectives, no destination is deadlier than a quaint country village, and you never know you're in a murder village until it's too late. No attraction or local character is safe--whether in the pub for a pint, or on the manicured grounds of the local estate for a shooting party, bodies can turn up anywhere! Danger lurks around every cobblestone corner. If you are foolish enough to make the trip, at least be prepared. Brought to life with dozens of Gorey-esque drawings by illustrator Jay Cooper and peppered with allusions to classic crime series and unmistakably British murder lore, Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village gives you the tools you need to avoid the same fate, should you find yourself in a suspiciously cozy English village (or simply dream of going). Good luck, and whatever you do, avoid the vicar.
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Ddzmini
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Pickpick

Omg funniest book I‘ve read in a while this is short and hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I‘m still laughing

PirateJenny Beware the vicar! 2mo
Sace Stacked for the title alone. 😆 2mo
Ddzmini @PirateJenny the priest… 🤣🤣🤣 @Sace it‘s hilarious 😂 I‘m still laughing 2mo
41 likes4 stack adds3 comments
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Ddzmini
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I‘m my I‘m 🤣🤣🤣 this is just as you see here the author telling you why you should avoid these quaint English villages and I‘m just 🤣🤣🤣📖

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PirateJenny
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Pickpick

I could not stop laughing. If you enjoy British mysteries, do read this. The art makes it perfect. Beware the vicar!

18 likes1 stack add
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batsy
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Pickpick

Very silly, funny, & OTT. This, about the menace of the quaint English village, is not to be taken seriously at any point. The Gorey-esque illustrations add to the charm. The village police station being described as "just a mug of tea in a cupboard" nearly made me choke on my coffee. Those of us who love our little English village mysteries will enjoy this tongue-in-cheek bit of fluff. Danger lurks everywhere & I failed the Manor Quiz ?

CarolynM Sounds like my cup of tea. Stacked 3mo
bthegood I loved this too - anyone who reads cozy mysteries will love it - glad you enjoyed it too. 🙂 3mo
batsy @CarolynM A comedic picture book for adults that can be read in one sitting! 3mo
See All 13 Comments
batsy @bthegood It was cute and made me chuckle 😊 3mo
Ruthiella Sounds great. I do love Miss Marple and her village sleuthing. 3mo
LeahBergen I‘ve been wanting to read this! 3mo
BookWrym Sounds really good I wouldn‘t want to move to Midsummer as you are going to get murdered and it seems this is a spoof on this. 3mo
batsy @Ruthiella @LeahBergen It's very short, a picture book really, and perfect to unwind with in one sitting! 3mo
batsy @BookWrym Yes, that's exactly what it is! It's made me want to rewatch all of those early Midsummer episodes 😆 3mo
Cathythoughts This looks great. The pictures must be fun. Would you look at the two legs sticking out 😂 3mo
batsy @Cathythoughts Yes, the illustrations are great 😁 3mo
AvidReader25 I thought this one looked so funny! 3mo
batsy @AvidReader25 It made me laugh! It helps to be in a silly mood 😁 3mo
99 likes10 stack adds13 comments
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willaful
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Cute, funny book -- definitely one note, but it's short enough that that's okay.

Using this pic for the #Scarathlon #PhotoChallenge : “YrTowninAutumn.“ I spend much of Autumn tending the roses. 😂 #TeamMischiefAndMayhem

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bibliothecarivs
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Panpan

★★☆☆☆

Words try to be funny (but they're mostly not funny). Illustrations try to be Gorey-esque (but they're never as good as Gorey). The incident with the stamp was the best bit. Overall, far below my expectations.

#fREADom #UniteAgainstBookBans

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Robotswithpersonality
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Mehso-so

I think it was going for satire, teensy bit of social commentary in the vein of 'landed gentry = 🙄'. Occasionally cheeky and silly, but overall a bit too one-note in the vein of 'everything is trying to kill you and here's some grisly illustrations for extra vibes'. I guess if you're boiling a subgenre down to its stereotypes, the reader shouldn't be surprised that it feels a little trope-y and tired. I wanted ridiculous more than gory.

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Robotswithpersonality
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Charming!

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Robotswithpersonality
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🥺 Puppy.
[Accompanying image pretty gory, blacked out just in case 🫣]

5 likes1 stack add
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MaleficentBookDragon
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Pickpick

My March #Doublespin selection has been read.
This was a light cutesy little book. I found my self chuckling a few times.
#bookspintracker
#bookspin
@thearomaofbooks

TheAromaofBooks Yay!! Fabulous progress!! 1y
56 likes1 stack add1 comment
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MaleficentBookDragon
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TheAromaofBooks Woohoo!!! 1y
53 likes1 stack add1 comment
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erzascarletbookgasm
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Pickpick

A fun and humorous read. Illustrations are brilliant. I was either smiling or chuckling at most of the ‘sound‘ advices and tips. A must read if you‘re a big fan of cozy mystery books and/or tv shows in particular those set in the UK.

CarolynM Sounds like lots of fun! 1y
LeahBergen This sounds so fun! 1y
BiblioLitten Sounds delightful! 1y
BiblioLitten Sounds delightful! 1y
60 likes1 stack add4 comments
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erzascarletbookgasm
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I am so entertained by this book - a detailed guide to stay alive if I ever happen to visit the English villages.

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BookDragonNotWorm
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Pickpick

This was the most fun I've had reading in a long time! Short but not sweet!

KathyWheeler I loved this book. I didn‘t pass any of the quizzes so it would probably be best if I didn‘t go to a quaint English village. 😄 2y
31 likes1 stack add1 comment
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mabell
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Reading my last British cozy, I thought the Village Fete could be a dangerous place to be - turns out I was right! There is even a mention of the fortune teller‘s tent! 😳

LeahBergen “like The Hunger Games, but dangerous”. 🤣 2y
Gissy Your birthday box is so late😳Like last year this time, B&N sent me today a notification that one book cannot be shipped to PR. I think they think I live in the middle of nowhere🤔I submitted another order with another book. I checked your tbr but local bookstores didn‘t have those titles. I always buy something for me to get excited when the box arrives😜this time last book in a cozy mystery series I started with #CBBC 🧡 2y
batsy That quote 😂 @LeahBergen 2y
See All 16 Comments
mabell @LeahBergen @batsy I was thinking so much about the fete and fortune teller‘s tent, I didn‘t catch the last sentence - that‘s terrific 😂😂 2y
mabell @Gissy You‘re so sweet! I‘m pretty sure you don‘t live in the middle of nowhere 🤣 Though I had a tough time convincing the post office that was your address! 😂😂 I‘m sorry my TBR is so slim! I‘m afraid I‘m too picky (and I own a lot of books!) 😅 What is the series that you got the last book in? A great idea to add a little something in the box! 😄 2y
Gissy @mabell Our local bookstores have limited selection. That happens to me all the time, no worries, I have to buy many titles online. But I always go first to those local stores just to be sure they don‘t have the title because I want to support them as independent bookstores. Sometimes I make my order through them but it takes longer to receive the book. But with every box I send is an excuse to visit the bookstore which is something I love🧡 2y
mabell @Gissy I understand! I like to support the independent bookstores, too. Especially since you can browse (and impulse buy 😆) Do you have bookstores nearby where you live? 2y
Gissy @mabell Yes, I have three and there others in Río Piedras but is more college books and I don‘t visit that area much. I usually goes to BookmarkPR, Casa Norberto in Plaza Las America (they have limited English editions) and one in Old San Juan (limited English editions). There is another one near my home but every time I tried to visit it is closed😳I think they have more books in Spanish. 2y
mabell @Gissy I didn‘t even think about the dual languages! That would make it even more difficult to book shop! On the other hand, it‘s nice you have both fairly accessible. It isn‘t very easy to find a selection of Spanish books here. 2y
Gissy @mabell I‘m surprise that the bookstore located in Old San Juan has more book in Spanish than in English since it is a place visited by tourists🤷🏽‍♀️But they have amazing book selection in Spanish. I made another order because again B&an canceled another book, definitely I‘m in the middle of nowhere. Maybe are the titles. I think some comes from sellers outside US. But you have great mystery series in your tbr. Some of them are new to me. ⬇️ 2y
Gissy I‘m adding those titles to my tbr☺️Looking forward to your comments about those books🤗 2y
mabell @Gissy oh no! Another book canceled?!? That just doesn‘t make sense! I‘m sorry it‘s been such a hassle! But I am so excited - it‘s such fun looking forward to receiving packages 😊 You know me and my mysteries! 🤣 My favorite genre! It‘s funny though, because my opinion is often different from others on them. Like many people say “And then there were none” is their favorite Agatha Christie, and that one is one of my *least* favorite 🤷‍♀️ 2y
tpixie That page is frightening! Or is it funny?! Creepy! 😀😅🥹 2y
tpixie @LeahBergen yes! That‘s funny 😄 2y
mabell @tpixie The whole book is pretty creepy/disturbing 😆😆 2y
tpixie @mabell 😀🥹😅🤩 2y
31 likes16 comments
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DGRachel
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Pickpick

Did I read this in January? Yes. Did I just reread it because @Aimeesue posted about it? Also, yes. Am I sorry? Absolutely not! Cooper‘s Edward Gorey-esque illustrations are perfect for Maureen Johnson‘s quick guide to the dangers of the typical English Murder Village. Fans of mysteries set in the UK will be delighted with this charming book. Or else. 🤣

Aimeesue The illustrations are like some magic Edward Gorey- Roz Chast mashup. Sinister, yet delightful. 2y
52 likes2 stack adds1 comment
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Aimeesue
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With a handy list of people, places, and things to avoid in a quaint English village if you simply - despite all the warnings - insist on going there anyway.

DGRachel I adore this book. Maybe I should reread it just for the heck of it. Yes. I‘m going to go do this now. Thank you. 2y
Aimeesue @DGRachel Happy to be of service. Please do update your will before you go! (edited) 2y
36 likes1 stack add2 comments
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jlhammar
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I enjoy English mysteries both on the page and on the stage (well, screen to be more accurate) and thought this little book was a hoot.

#OminousOctober #Bones
@Eggs @Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks

Eggs 👏🏻🦴💀👏🏻 2y
Linsy Yes! It was clever and cute. 2y
BookBr Loved this one😂❤️ 2y
MaureenMc I recently read, and loved, this one, too. 😄 2y
bthegood I read and enjoyed this too - very cute if you read a lot of English mysteries🎃 2y
55 likes1 stack add5 comments
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Mirazzles
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I started this one this morning before work and now I don‘t want to put it down to actually do my work. 😅

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Hooked_on_books
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Pickpick

What a fun book! I so enjoyed chuckling my way through it.

63 likes1 stack add
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Avanders
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Look at this truly SPECTACULAR #staycationintimeswap package!!! Thank you @mcipher for such a *thoughtful* package — I LOVE that you planned the trip out and wrote those notes 🥰🥰 And you picked amazing, yummy goodies and teas and soap, and every single thing is on theme!! I‘m honestly just blown away and so excited for this package! Thank you *so* much!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

And thank you @Chrissyreadit and @DinoMom for hosting this very cool swap!! 😘😘

mcipher I‘m so glad you liked it! 🤗 2y
Chrissyreadit Wow!!! It all looks Amazing! 2y
mabell 😍😍😍 2y
See All 6 Comments
UwannaPublishme Wow! How cool! 😍 2y
DinoMom Amazing!!! 2y
MaureenMc 🤩 2y
69 likes6 comments
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DebinHawaii
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Pickpick

#BigJuneReadathon #JoysofJuneReadathon

Excuse the bad late night lighting.
A quick & fun read that if you have spent any time with cozies or mysteries set in quaint English villages, you can relate to the warnings. Not every bit of humor was a “hit” for me but it was an engaging late night read paired with some caramel pretzel blondie gelato. (We will ignore the fact that a biscuit & cup of tea would be the more appropriate snack pairing.) 😉

Andrew65 Well done 👏👏👏 2y
Bookzombie Love your spoon! 2y
Clwojick Hah! Love the title! 2y
68 likes1 stack add3 comments
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MariaW
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Mehso-so

I lo ed the ideas and the humor of the book but expected something more. It gives a nice but superficial overview of the quaint English village how how not to get murder in the different muderous places. But that‘s.

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MariaW
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The quaint English village…

julesG 😍 2y
46 likes1 comment
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MariaW
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Stop asking questions!

42 likes1 stack add
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MariaW
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Another book which tells you not to read it. 🙈

Ruthiella 😂 Be a rebel and read it anyway! 2y
MariaW @Ruthiella I am on it. 🥷🥷🥷 2y
41 likes2 comments
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MariaW
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It is my belief, Watson, founded upon my experience, that the lowest and vilest alleys in London do not present a more dreadful record of sin than does the smiling and beautiful countryside. (Sherlock Holmes)
What an introduction to a book. 😊😊😊

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DebinHawaii
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Yesterday‘s library #bookhaul It was part of my first post COVID errands & required a long nap afterwards. 😵 I went to pick up my holds, The Verifiers & Fire in the Sea & then found the tagged book which I have been wanting to read, a small graphic novel & the plant-centered cookbook.
A good little haul—the 📚🐔 approves.

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wideeyedreader
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Pickpick

This is absolutely hilarious! Well worth the read. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

33 likes1 stack add
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AmyK1
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Pickpick

This was fun. Now I‘ll know what to do if I ever find myself in an English Murder Village. (Hint: avoid the vicar at all costs!)

Erinsuereads 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆 2y
AmyK1 @ErinSueMreads I haven‘t but I‘ve just added it to my TBR! 2y
Erinsuereads They are super short and the cutest little books. 2y
AmyK1 @ErinSueMreads awesome. I‘ll be on the lookout for them! 2y
48 likes1 stack add5 comments
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Sparklemn
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Pickpick

This is a fun book if you‘ve read and watched as many British mysteries as I have!!

KathyWheeler I failed all the quizzes! 😄 2y
Sparklemn @KathyWheeler Same!! 😃 2y
Cathythoughts Fab pic 💫 2y
Sparklemn @Cathythoughts When I found the pic, it said it was a vicarage in Grantchester. Not sure if it‘s the same Grantchester as the books & TV show. But I liked it! 2y
50 likes1 stack add4 comments
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TieDyeDude
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Mehso-so

Reads like an idea book for Welcome to Nightvale. I would have liked more of the trivia questions throughout to break up the entries a bit. Cute.

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bthegood
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Pickpick

Read this book - it is quick and funny - if you read cozy mysteries, if you read murder mysteries that take place in English villages - you will enjoy this. It is a very short book with good illustrations and some helpful hints if you should happen to find yourself in an English manor in a quaint English village for the reading of the will of a relative you did not know you had -

#BookSpinBingo

Make a great day everyone - 🙂

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NovelGirl82
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It‘s been a long day…A little light reading about how to not get murdered should help 😉

35 likes1 stack add
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Laughterhp
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Pickpick

This was a quick, fun read! It was all so true and I thought about a lot of scenes from books I‘ve read. I love me a mystery book set in a quaint English village 💚.

I‘d recommend this book to you too, if you love murder in an English village!

64 likes1 stack add
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jlhammar
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Pickpick

So fun!

ElizaMarie Looks adroable 2y
25 likes2 stack adds1 comment
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Lynnsoprano
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Pickpick

A light, fun romp. I had expected a tongue-in-cheek murder mystery, but this is a detailed guide to locations and characters and the dangers they pose if you visit an “English Murder Village.” I flunked the quizzes, but I did learn to avoid the vicar🤣🤣 If you‘re a fan of murder mysteries set in English villages, you will love this. Just read it some place where you can laugh out loud without people staring.

RosePressedPages I got this as a gift for my sister and I‘m excited for her to read it! (And to read it myself when she‘s done :) 2y
56 likes7 stack adds1 comment
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Lynnsoprano
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I cannot put this down! It is laugh-out-loud funny, especially since hubby and I have spent most of our time in English villages on our trips. The description of the church, the churchyard and headstones had me doubled over with laughter. Thanks again, @Avanders

KarenUK Loved this one! 💕😂 2y
Avanders I think I‘m going to have to get that one myself 😁😘 2y
64 likes2 stack adds2 comments
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Lynnsoprano
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#littleChristmasswap part 2. I cannot thank you enough, @Avanders What a perfect gift! And I can‘t tell you how many times I have almost pulled the trigger on A Bend in the Stars. Plus, I am in dark chocolate heaven! Thank you, thank you, thank you! 😘. And huge thanks to @bookish_wookish for hosting. What a fun swap.

Avanders Yay!! 😘♥️🎄 2y
56 likes1 stack add1 comment
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DGRachel
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Pickpick

Absolutely hysterical. Perfect for anyone who enjoys mysteries set in English Murder Villages.

EvieBee Lol!! 2y
julesG Sold! 2y
74 likes5 stack adds2 comments
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DGRachel
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This is absolutely a #blameitonlitsy purchase. I‘m excited to read it.

Mitch 🤣🤣🤣I was looking at that for a stocking present for Mr K but went for this instead! 2y
DGRachel @Mitch Hopefully Farm Machinery and Equipment will be more useful than a guide to not being murdered in your village! 🤣🤣 2y
65 likes2 comments
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NovelGirl82
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The rest of my weekend home improvement plans came to a screeching halt yesterday due to (what I‘m hoping is) a bad sinus infection that has been getting increasingly worse by the day. So today I‘m continuing some self care with an easy to read book & a bath with Vicks bath salts. Here‘s to no covid from the hubby‘s icu!

SRWCF Take care of yourself! 2y
27 likes1 comment
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elkeOriginal
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Pickpick

This guide to not getting murdered is a DELIGHT. Edward Gorey meets cozy mysteries! The tone and jokes are spot on and the illustrations are beyond perfect (with spots of red amongst the black-and-white - amazing!)
Definitely a #bestof2021
#dontgetmurdered

iread2much This title is awesome! 2y
31 likes2 stack adds1 comment
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inthegreensandblues
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Mikala! Thank you so much for the Christmas package! I am so delighted with these books! 🤓❤️💚🤗
Merry Christmas!
@Laughterhp

Laughterhp I hope you love them! I can‘t wait to read the tagged book!! It looks like so much fun. 2y
31 likes1 comment
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BookishMadHatter
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"They are xylophones of death"

Truer words have never been spoken

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BookishMadHatter
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I'm definitely having fun with this one

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KathyWheeler
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Pickpick

This is about all my mind was up to reading today. As a fan of Midsommer Murders and tons of other murder mystery books and shows, this book was a lot of fun for me — if a bit short. It included quizzes, which I failed, so now you know that if I ever say I‘m going to a quaint English village I‘m probably not coming back.

33 likes1 stack add
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Linsy
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Pickpick

This was a great start to my Agatha Christie week! It's a lot shorter than I thought, but great for a laugh! And a great gift idea for the holidays. 🔪

#nonfictionnovember #nfn21

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katy4peas
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Thank so much for my #HHS box of goodies @Patchshank ! I love them. You picked out my favorite sweet treats. Yum! The blanket is so soft and cozy and it has pumpkins! 🎃 This other picture is of all of my knitted pumpkins I made one year. 😁 The reusable bag is fun, and I like the colorful cookie tins. And of course I can‘t wait to read the books! 📚Thank you!!! Happy Halloween!! 🎃🧙🏻‍♀️👻🎃💕

@wanderinglynn

AmyG Those knitted pumpkins are 🙌🏻 3y
Patchshank I'm glad you like everything. Your knitted pumpkins are great. I knit and crochet a little bit, but there is no way I'd be able to make stuff like that. 3y
katy4peas @AmyG thanks! 3y
katy4peas @Patchshank ha! You‘ll get there eventually if you practice. 😉🎃 The blanket fits in perfectly with my pumpkin obsession. LOL! 💕 🥰 3y
wanderinglynn Awesome! 🎃🧡 3y
49 likes5 comments
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triplem80
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Pickpick

This book was absolutely delightful! A really fast read, and laugh-out-loud funny (at least if you have a twisted sense of humor, like I do). It was the pick-me-up I didn't know I needed!