The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

📚 what are you reading this weekend? I‘m hoping to finish this one 📚

SamAnne Stephen Graham Jones‘ Mongrels. Hoping to finish Outline by Rachel Cusk. And reading YA prose book Home is Not a Country. An eclectic weekend! 3y

Cazxxx @SamAnne that sounds like a lovely weekend 😊 3y

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NeedsMoreBooks

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

pick

This book presents the seven necessary sins women and girls need to employ to defy, disobey, and disrupt the patriarchy: anger, attention, profanity, ambition, power, violence, and lust. It describes various contemporary feminist movements and suggests ways to make feminism intersectional as well as relevant. I learned a lot from this book.

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Augustdana

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Girl, we are currently getting some weather here!! I just brewed the perfect cup of camomile and I‘m about half way done this book with three days to go. Oops! If there were such things as snow days as an instructor anymore I‘d spend Tuesday reading. 🤞🤞🤞

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Augustdana

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

It‘s here! It‘s finally here! Can we just talk about how much I love this book cover ?!?

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Since we just finished her book, I thought you might be interested in seeing her thoughts about a recent event. #SheSaid

Riveted_Reader_Melissa
@BarbaraTheBibliophage @tenar @vlwelser @KVanRead @SamAnne @GingerAntics @Julsmarshall @arlenefinnigan @Chab256 @Scochrane26 @Sace @CoffeeK8. @MallenNC @Caroline2 @DebinHawaii @Nute @NeedsMoreBooks @Currey @Augustdana @Suet624 @Singout @mhillis @ImperfectCJ
3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa She also had a website/newsletter at https://www.feministgiant.com/ you can sign up for free or a subscription depending on your means for anyone interested. (edited) 3y

Julsmarshall Thanks for sharing this! She is also great to follow on twitter 😄 3y

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Julsmarshall I started following her when we started the book...and after so many examples from around the world in her book, so found here take on things in the US very interesting. 3y

CoffeeK8 Thanks for sharing this, it‘s such an important topic 3y

mhillis Thanks for sharing this! 3y

shanaqui I'm getting more and more tempted to read Mona Eltahawy's book! 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @shanaqui We just finished the tagged book with #SheSaid, it‘s definitely worth reading! (edited) 3y

tenar I just got her email about this topic! Watching AOC‘s video I was struck by how she took time to speak about women & non-binary people so often being called “attention seeking” for speaking up (or even just existing!). Not surprised Mona was proud, she and AOC are speaking the same anti-patriarchal language. 3y

Augustdana She is THE BEST 3y

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

pick

Sometimes I need an in your face, hold no punches, declaration of equality for all over the more nuanced data/detailed oriented reads. It does my pilot light good (I love that metaphor of hers). We need both, the data to understand what is really going on, to clear away the gaslighting that says we are “imaging it”, but we also need the “you‘re worth it, just as you are, go get ‘em” & be unapologetic about living your life.

#SheSaid

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KVanRead

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

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I‘m going to practice one of the necessary sins and say, “Fuck yes!” to all of this. That made me very uncomfortable as did many parts of this powerful book but that‘s kind of the point. It should make you angry and call you to action. Highly recommend. #shesaid

Riveted_Reader_Melissa Great review! I‘m glad you enjoyed it! 3y

KVanRead So glad to have discovered it thanks to you @Riveted_Reader_Melissa 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @KVanRead You‘re welcome! 3y

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Sorry for the later post today...got busy doing some pre-storm prep here.

So how about the last chapter and conclusion? How did you feel about the book as a whole?

And I have 2 side questions for you today:
1 Did you recommend all or any books that you wanted to on the recommendation thread...I‘m hoping to pull them together into a voting survey this week, so if you haven‘t and want to recommend one, please do it soon.
⤵️

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ 2. The next book is fairly short, but broken up a bit differently in sections, How would you feel about two discussion threads each week? I think there is less reading, but they are just broken up differently.
3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa #SheSaid 3y

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa I really liked this one, sometimes I need an in your face, hold no punches, declaration of equality for all over the more nuanced educational data oriented. It does my pilot light good (I love that metaphor of hers, by the way). Also I read her other book earlier this month, and would recommend it for anyone interested in reading more of this author

Headscarves and Hymens

KVanRead This did me a lot of good too. At times she made me uncomfortable but in a way that is so necessary and growth provoking. Much of course I already agreed with but there was a lot that really informed and shifted my perspective in new ways. One I had trouble with was using violence to get patriarchy to fear women- I‘m pessimistic that would work/fear it would backfire. Just watched new film Promising Young Woman which I recommend highly. It... 3y

KVanRead fits right in with this discussion and our group discussions in general. One thing the director Emerald Fennell said really resonated with my thoughts on violence part of this book: There‘s a reason women do not resort to violence,” Fennell says. “Because they f—ing lose when they do. “ Anyway glad I watched it and glad I read this book? 3y

KVanRead For February book, I‘m happy with however you want to structure. Thanks so much for all your work. Love this group! 3y

vlwelser I'm good with whatever structure you are thinking of for the next book. I was actually wondering whether I had missed a post. 3y

vlwelser So the last chapter and the conclusion I honestly thought these were weaker than some of the other chapters but obviously still necessary. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @KVanRead That movie looked good, but I haven‘t seen it yet. But yes, I agree...even our movie troupes are all women who resort to violence and even if it starts as standing up for themselves or others...become the bad guy. The first example of that I can remember as a child was Catwoman. Powerful, Sexy, didn‘t let anyone walk all over her..but she was bad. Whereas Wonder Woman was good, but she was also not exactly human, & although dressed⤵️ 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ sexy for the male viewer, she rarely got much of a love life. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser I know, I try hard to post around noon (east coast time) so it‘s up on Sunday for everyone. But I got busy doing other things and when I looked at the clock again, it was 3 already! So again, my apologies. I‘m glad you were anticipating it, but sorry I made you worry. 3y

vlwelser The book as a whole I thought was outstanding. She pulled in some great examples of people and events I hadn't ever heard of. Obviously we all know about that mess in the former Yugoslavia but I hadn't heard about that woman in Ghana calling the PM a buttocks over a really basic thing we all take for granted and never think about. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @KVanRead I‘m so glad you are enjoying it! We‘ve had some great discussions in this group! 3y

vlwelser @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I didn't mean the post today though I noticed you were late and figured you'd get to it. I was actually looking for the reading schedule for the next book. I have an actual book copy and was going to mark the sections according to when they're due. I like to be organized. It makes me happy. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser I REALLY liked that part of it. Her examples that she pulled from, were stories from all over the world, and many were ones I hadn‘t heard before. It‘s unfortunate, but so much of our news, even examples of things in other feminist writings, are still so western centric....so I really appreciated that focus to the book. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser Oh ok! I understand that, I do it myself. 😉 If everyone‘s ok with it, I‘m thinking a Wed. and Sun. post. And again, you could pop on and answer them both on Sunday if you want. It‘s not a long book, but since it discusses other books, I thought it might be nice to break it up so we can talk about the chapter, but also the recommendations they give, if we‘ve read any of them, etc...that kind of thing. 3y

vlwelser @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I really appreciated her perspective. She's very worldly. And she certainly knows what she's talking about. I will most likely also read her other book also. 3y

vlwelser Wednesday and Sunday works for me. I have been peeking at it and I'm pretty excited to get started with it. 3y

KVanRead @vlwelser @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I really appreciated the global perspective too. I agree the last chapter wasn‘t as strong but as you said still important. I was really struck by the part about Saudi Arabia which I knew about but never thought to compare to South Africa vis a vis the world reaction. Gender apartheid is spot on. 3y

KVanRead Wednesday and Sunday works for me too 😊 3y

tenar I had a few frustrations with the book this week trying to pin down sources from the footnotes. (And I‘ve got four comments‘ worth of thoughts! 😅) Some just pointed to old data or were foggy in some way, but the claim she‘s repeated a second time in Lust, “Trans women of color in the United States have an average lifespan of 35 years,” (Attention p.47; Lust p.166) isn‘t substantiated by her own listed sources. The three citations are: 3y

tenar -“The average life expectancy for a transgender woman of color is 35, primarily as a result of violence.” From a blog post that has no citations, but does link to the next footnote:
-“The ages of the victims is horrifying support for the claim that the average life span of a trans woman of color is 35.” in an opinion piece with no citations or sources listed. These two were in the Lust ch, while in the Attention ch: 3y

tenar -“the IACHR has received information that the life expectancy of trans women in the Americas is between 30-35 years of age.” which includes 2 continents, doesn‘t mention race, and doesn‘t cite a source for the “received information”. IACHR is the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights and includes Central & South American countries.
Googling the the claim itself seems to point to it agreed upon as false/misleading, but often repeated all over. 3y

tenar So I was disappointed in the lack of rigor in the fact checking. Did no one really read the citations? That doesn‘t take away from how much I‘ve loved hearing from Eltahawy‘s radical thinking, but it does frustrate me. It could have been even better!

What I loved from this week was how the conclusion dovetailed with We Are Displaced. Take heart from girls who are brave, for there are many across the globe! Rahaf & who helped her are incredible. (edited) 3y

tenar @vlwelser @KVanRead I thought, too, that the Lust chapter could‘ve been more fleshed out. I feel like there‘s so much to say on that topic! But the whole book came together very well, with the seven sins theme building on itself, not just a catchy title or gimmick, and I also found the global perspective enlightening.

@Riveted_Reader_Melissa I‘d enjoy Wed & Sun postings, if that‘s what fits the book best. You‘re a great host of a great group! 😊 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar I‘ve seen those same statistics and same hardness on locking anything down firmly. I think it‘s because so few are able to be trans openly, that we will never have firm statistics until we can allow everyone to be open....but that being said, there is a high murder rate of trans people, so I can see why they would not want to be more open. It‘s one of those horrible catch-22‘s, we want firm statistics, but it isn‘t worth anyone risking.. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ... life to get them. I imagine getting statistics on people “passing”, black people passing as white during and after the civil war, would have hit the same road block, the only way to get real data is to come out, but to come out could be a death sentence. (edited) 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa So your only statistics are murder rates of those outted. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa Probably similar issues with statistics concerning being gay, in the 80‘s and before....it was such a stigma, no one was admitting to it, so any statistics were obviously skewed. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar I‘m also enjoying the way some of our topics and books have complimented each other as we‘ve gone along. There‘s some great synchronicity going on. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser Ok, the schedule for the next book is up now. 😉 3y

tenar Absolutely, that‘s the most frustrating aspect of all! I don‘t think, especially in our last four years, there‘s been much push to get good data on trans women‘s lives in the US, and we need it sorely, and even if we did try to get it, it would likely be incomplete due to the societal factors you‘ve mentioned. The violence is real and devastating, and we don‘t even understand the scope of it. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar exactly. And just like gay men in the 70‘s 80‘s...trans women seem to be having a much harder time. I (and this is just a personal observation, no data) think it all goes back to that discussion of toxic masculinity that we‘ve had in the past. Just like men thought a girl/girl relationship was something to fantasize about, but boy/boy was horrendous, something about a male deciding to become a female hurts their male pride/sense of self 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ... to the point that it triggers violence. Again, just a personal opinion, but I think it all goes back to that toxic masculinity issue 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ⬆️ I should add, women aren‘t great here either. This whole trans women can‘t use the public bathroom thing is ridiculous. I get that they think some pervert/rapist will use that as a way to sneak into the ladies room, but they were doing that anyway, and never bothered with any elaborate cover story before... so denying people the right to use the bathroom is crazy. Instead get back on the topic of men abusing women. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa And thank you, that reminded me of another book to add to the recommendation list. 3y

tenar I think you‘ve hit the nail on the head. I recently read about the “gay panic” & “trans panic” defense, a legal defense aiming to lower the charges against men who have assaulted or murdered gay men or trans women for disturbing their masculinity or threatening their sexuality. They argue it‘s some kind of insanity or provocation. .... 3y

tenar I can‘t believe it‘s real and still accepted in many courts, including the US. Bills to ban it have died in Congress. It‘s difficult to even read about.

I also watched a video essay this week topical to your last comment, about women‘s fear of trans women and abuse by the lens of the current stir caused by JK Rowling. It‘s wildly designed and wildly long, but so thoughtful and I learned so much:
https://youtu.be/7gDKbT_l2us 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar I‘ll check it out when I have a quieter moment tonight. But yes, to all of that. I remember when it was gay men will be after your children (gay does NOT equal pedophile) and now it‘s transwomen will be after your women (again transperson does NOT equal molester/abuser). But for men, who rarely want to see themselves as perpetrators of violence against women (hashtag NotAllMen), it‘s always interesting how quickly they want to paint ⤵️ 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ other whole groups in that light. But still never take up the thread that much abuse comes from men, heterosexual men men, not any subgroup. Honestly even their own stereotypes and discriminations tell them gay or trans is more effeminate, and women statistically are a much smaller percentage of abusers overall. So even the cognitive dissonance in their own prejudices confuses me. (edited) 3y

MallenNC I have been offline much of today (how nice!) so I‘m just getting to this post. The chapter on lust most reinforced for me what I‘ve seen in my own part of the world, which is that purity standards keep women down. What I liked about the conclusion was what I liked about much of the book — the use of one woman‘s story from elsewhere in the world to point out that patriarchy is a global issue including right here in the U.S. 3y

MallenNC @KVanRead The chapter on violence was the one I disagreed with most also. I don‘t think using violence would benefit women. I really want to watch Promising Young Woman but I haven‘t been able to get in the right mindset for it. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC I agree, and the purity standards are worldwide it seems in one form or another. She used the example of father-daughter dances and pledges and purity rings here in the US in her other book, so I was glad she at least mentioned that in here too. 3y

MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I had so many friends from high school who got married way too young because of those standards, and some of them ended up regretting it. They should‘ve had more power to decide for themselves. The other part of the conclusion that was wrong to me was the way American women can so easily point out patriarchal issues in other countries but not our own. 3y

MallenNC Also I just put a few more books on your recommendations thread. 3y

KVanRead @MallenNC excellent point about purity standards and about American women who gave blinders on about patriarchy in their own country. Promising Young Women isn‘t an easy watch but it is so well done and uncompromising and addresses so much of this. 3y

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vlwelser

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

pick

How awesome is this cover? This is a really powerful book about the fight against patriarchy. You'll just have to read it to see what I mean.

#SheSaid with @Riveted_Reader_Melissa final discussion on Sunday. Until then... 🤐🤐

#BookSpinBingo square 2
@TheAromaofBooks

Riveted_Reader_Melissa I understand! I finished and didn‘t even post my review yet! 🤐🤐🤫 😂 until Sunday! 3y

TheAromaofBooks Great progress!! 3y

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Two more thought provoking chapters. And please check out the earlier post today where June‘s book is announced and nominations for the rest of 2021 are being made in the comments....it seems to be working for us to plan further out for both library holds or snagging books on sale, so nominate away on that post.

And now for discussion on these 2 chapters...

#SheSaid

Riveted_Reader_Melissa I struggled with the second one (Violence) although I understand the point she was trying to make, to clear away some of the cognitive dissonance in our way of looking at violence in society. For Power, I loved having great examples from abroad, stories I haven‘t heard before and I very much appreciate those! 3y

MallenNC I struggled with the chapter on violence also. I understand the point she was making but violence in response to violence is a hard argument for me. But listing all the ways women are hurt or killed all together in one chapter did show how accepted and ignored violence against women is. The end of the chapter about Bosnia and how what happened at that spa has been swept under the rug made that point really well. 3y

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MallenNC In the power chapter, I liked the part where she pointed out to a child all the leaders of the teams in the final of the World Cup were women, and how seeing women in power makes a difference to future generations. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC Yea, that one was tough for me, it felt in opposition to everything, even though I understood the point of how easily violence against women is ignored, swept away...the juxtaposition made it very clear, but still a tough one. And yes, the spa story was a great emphasis to punctuate that chapter. The violence towards 1 counts, to another it‘s so common as to not warrant a mention. ☹️ 3y

vlwelser @Riveted_Reader_Melissa and @MallenNC she's super aggressive in that chapter on violence but she definitely gets her point across. She sort of flips the traditional roles and suggests that women behave the way they are treated. But it's also sort of ridiculous because women wouldn't act like that. But it's also ridiculous that men do and it seems to be at least tolerated. If she's making us think about it, I think she's accomplished her goal. 3y

vlwelser I like what she points out about power. But I didn't feel like it was one of the stronger chapters. 3y

MallenNC @vlwelser Her proposal in the violence chapter was definitely meant to be thought provoking and it was. And I also they there was some value in her argument that men wouldn‘t do some of the violence they do if they thought women would fight back, but sadly, I don‘t really think that‘s true. I don‘t think that would stop some men at all. Like in places where many people have guns, but the number of guns deaths doesn‘t go down. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser I agree... the Violence chapter was disturbing, but meant to be...it is the flipped script, and when reading it flipped, it‘s crazy and disturbing and absurd...but yet the flip side is true and society is just oh well, boys will be boys, girls shamed for their abuse instead of the abusers. Which makes it a powerful chapter. It reminds me of the book The Power the more I think about it.

The Power

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC sadly I agree, and she‘s right about the law treating them differently. The women who fired her gun into a wall to scare off her abusive husband got years in prison, and denied the “Castle Doctrine” “Stand Your Ground” defenses, even though she only fired at the wall to scare him. I‘ll see if I can find the article, her name escapes me at the moment.... 3y

vlwelser @Riveted_Reader_Melissa The Power was good. Great example. I kept thinking about Know My Name. Which we thankfully already read. Every time there is victim blaming I think about that book. It definitely left a lasting impression on me. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa Here it is Marissa Alexander https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marissa_Alexander_case 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.jacksonville.com/article/20120516/NEWS/80125329... 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.jacksonville.com/news/metro/2018-01-27/one-year... 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser It was a great book 3y

tenar Seems like we had similar feelings toward the two chapters. Power felt less sharp with its point, but her turning the question of who Muslim women are subservient to back on Republican white women blew me over. I‘m still obsessed with the data linking support of hegemonic masculinity to evaluations of Trump - it predicts better than party affiliation. Women for the patriarchy. Here it is again, this time via NPR:

https://n.pr/2Yib0xv (edited) 3y

tenar I also found the violence chapter disturbing, challenging, chilling. I felt the same disagreements, but I do agree, flipping the script made her point effectively. I don‘t know a lot about global atrocities, but you don‘t have to look hard in the U.S. to see evidence “we make light of the crimes committed against girls and women.” It also made me think of a book, one that‘s been on my radar and asks a distressingly poignant question -

Is Rape a Crime?: A Memoir, an Investigation, and a Manifesto

vlwelser @tenar you should add that to the suggestions list if you haven't already. And also supposing that you haven't read it yet. 3y

MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser It does remind me of The Power also. And I remember that case about the woman who was denied a stand your ground defense, which has of course been used to justify unjust murders in other cases. The double standard in sentences for abused women is terrible. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar That sounds good and like a tough read. Maybe add it to the groups recommendations to read? 3y

MallenNC @tenar Thanks for sharing that NPR report. I saw so many political essays after January 6 about toxic masculinity and how it ties in with Trump followers and his persona and to those who stormed the capital. 3y

MallenNC another thought I just had is when a man is in the news for some kind of mass violence, like a shooting, so often it is found that he had a history of abuse towards women in his life. It always makes me wonder if those crimes were taken more seriously, the other more public crime may never have happened. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC Yes, I agree. We talk about history of violence towards animals being a precursor to violent sociopathy later on, basically practicing on things they can get away with cruelty on...but violence against women isn‘t seen the same way.... but often it‘s a similar stepping stone to escalation. And yet with women, it‘s always she made me do it to her, imagine if that argument worked with animal abuse. If nothing else this chapter makes ... 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ..you tease out what we believe and hold as standards and why. Because even while the idea that women do XYZ seems ludicrous, and against everything we‘ve been taught/raised to believe, men obviously have been raised differently often in the same households 3y

tenar @MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Wow, you two‘ve made a powerful connection for me. I‘d never looked at it through that lens, but I found myself thinking in that direction when the news covered ex-wives turning in Capitol rioters. And after having seen so much around the world, Eltahawy feels like calls for the justice system to create real consequences for violence against women are hollow, as it‘s an arm of the patriarchy itself. ... 3y

tenar ... But, as you asked, would violence from women truly stop further, greater violence the way the justice system, prison theoretically could? But that system is certainly currently not - even arrests were leading to greater partner violence. Feels like an endless circle, but I‘m glad she‘s raising these questions. And, Melissa, I also believe that women‘s lack of violence and men‘s violence is hugely socialized, not just biological as some claim. 3y

MallenNC I think that for so long (and even now) spousal abuse and even rape have been considered private issues. We don‘t want to see it or admit it happens. That‘s why in Know My Name, people tried so hard to find some way to blame Chanel for what happened or at least for pressing charges. There were so many rioters whose ex wives turned them in, and I wonder if those women tried to warn others about their ex‘s potential for violence and weren‘t heard. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar Well and somehow universal too, across different cultures and countries as well. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC Or were victims of domestic abuse themselves and that‘s why they left and became ex‘s. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa Another parallel we are starting to see now is the number of law enforcement-officers involved in the Capital insurrection, which also has a high number of white supremacists (studies have shown), and a high number of spousal abusers that are covered for by their fellow cops (the brotherhood code, I guess).... I think that for some who like to exert power over others, it‘s just a career that calls to them, like prison guards. And maybe that all.. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ...feeds into why rapes are under investigated and rape kits unprocessed, it just isn‘t their priority. 3y

MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa That it just isn‘t a priority is probably the thread that ties all this together 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC @tenar @vlwelser Well as she said early, lack of attention is another way to control. So lack of attention to these crimes, and issues...is also another way to exert control over people (or a group of people). We can‘t give this problem (violence against women) attention because then you might gain notice or justice or just a realization of how big the problem really is.... (edited) 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ...so keep drawing attention to it, and bad judge decisions of it (Know My Name), demand the attention be paid to it and paid appropriate attention or hold them accountable. 3y

tenar @MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Indeed. And discouraging women‘s anger and profanity stifles their ability to call for attention, to raise notice, and ever gain justice. I appreciate the set-up of this book. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa By hold them accountable, I mean like the judge recall election from Know My Name or the newer laws they want to implement to track police brutality instead of just letting them move to a new town/city with a clean record....etc... just thought I should clarify after the violence chapter thought experiment. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar I recommended Rage Becomes Her to @KVanRead , have you read that one. You‘d appreciate it too I think. Maybe we should read it together?

Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger

Bookishlie Y‘all are terrible for my TBR but awesome for my awareness. 3y

tenar @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Ooh, thanks for sharing! Part of the strengthening and healing I‘ve been working in my adult life is to, as referenced in the first chapter, re-light my ‘pilot light‘ of anger. But I haven‘t yet tapped books as a resource in the journey, and that one looks great! 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar I just sat down and read the article you posted.... thank you for that, it‘s so good and important to see all the connections right now. Coincidentally Soraya Chemaly is mentioned in it “Soraya Chemaly, executive director of the Representation Project, a nonprofit that fights gender inequality.” She‘s also the author of the book I just recommended to you above. Small world. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Bookishlie You can join in any time you want! 3y

tenar @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Wow, that‘s neat! She must be doing a lot of great work. I agreed with her in that article and would love to hear more from her.

Thank you for sharing Marissa Alexander‘s story. Credit to her for turning what she could into a positive outcome as an activist & speaker. Though the defense was not successful, seeing stand your ground laws used in a domestic violence context did challenge my opinion about them. (edited) 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar I know, I thought they could be helpful that way, and quickly realized my error with this case and others. Somehow she can‘t use that defense, but the police officer who went into the wrong apartment and thought it was hers and shot the rightful owner of that apartment tried to use it https://www.google.com/amp/s/abcnews.go.com/amp/US/amber-guyger-convicted-murder... luckily she was found⤵️ 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ guilty. And Breonna Tyler‘s boyfriend had similar issues trying to use it when police burst in with a no-knock warrant, so as far as he knew he had every right to defend his home. It just feels like that law needs more something behind it, because it seems to be used sporadically to get some cleared like Trayvon Martin‘s shooter (despite the fact that it wasn‘t in his home and he started the confrontation), and unusable for others. 3y

Julsmarshall Wow, great conversation here and so spot on! Violence was a hard chapter for me too an d I recently read Culture Warlords which delves a lot into toxic masculinity and examines that connection with violence, mass shootings and the rise of trump. Both books were really prescient if the violence at the capitol on Jan 6th. So many men, especially American men it seems, are stuck in a loop of violence to achieve power that is troubling.

Culture Warlords: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Battle for America's Soul

Julsmarshall I found myself wanting to argue with her during the Violence chapter but ultimately acknowledged she accomplished just what she intended-to shock us into seeing the parallels we‘d rather not. I though the Power chapter imparted some good info, it was just hard to follow the chapter on Violence. I am so thankful to be a part of this reading group, or is really stretching me and causing me to think and examine my perspectives on so many levels. (edited) 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Julsmarshall That one is on my to read list too, and also one I haven‘t had the guts to dive into yet. Maybe it was you I saw posting about it, I know I‘ve seen her talk about it on Twitter too. Maybe a good recommendation for the group. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Julsmarshall I‘m glad you are enjoying the discussions, I am too! So far we‘ve had a great diversity of books and topics and the conversations have been so great, with lots of back and forth and bringing up great points and outside articles. I‘m loving it! 3y

Julsmarshall Yes @Riveted_Reader_Melissa ! 3y

KVanRead I‘m finally caught up! What a powerful book and what amazing discussion here. You all have so many great insights and examples and books to check out!! @MallenNC while I agree with everyone here on the effectiveness of flipping the script in the violence chapter, I strongly agree with your point that probably what would happen isn‘t men backing off but doubling down with even harsher consequences for women. If we look geopolitically at what the... 3y

KVanRead ...US does to groups/foreign powers that threaten its might for instance, it always leads to more and more horrific violence or something like Cold War era MAD policies, so I don‘t think women would want to go there even if they could. But on an individual level, teaching our daughters to fight back, to be not worth the trouble to assault is I think good advice. Even though it unfairly puts the onus on women (what else is new?) it has proven... 3y

KVanRead ...effective. Even more important though is fighting to achieve a critical mass of women in positions of power to get beyond tokenism and women having to conform to a man‘s world. 3y

KVanRead @tenar That article was so interesting and explains a lot. Maybe in part why Trump could beat Hillary but not Joe. 3y

KVanRead Going back to last week‘s chapters I wondered if anyone else has watched any of The History of Swear Words on Netflix? Despite over the top Nicholas Cage, it‘s quite interesting and talks about the protest power swearing particularly ‘fuck‘ and also had a great episode on why ‘bitch‘ is a slur. Personally I‘ve always hated the latter and try not to use it. https://g.co/kgs/mgZ4Uf 3y

tenar @KVanRead Neat that it lines up with our reading, that show sounds up my alley! I finally had the minor epiphany myself a few years ago where it occurred to me that ‘bitch‘ fit the definition of a slur. I‘ve been trying to use fewer (particularly derogatory) words that mean something hugely different when applied to each sex, and that word certainly fits that bill. Thanks for sharing! 3y

KVanRead @tenar yah it‘s really interesting how many words we take for granted until we start really thinking about meaning and how they are used. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar Yes, it‘s a great way to look at it. One book I read ages ago that started me on my journey said to always try saying the same thing about a man, what were the men doing....if it was only used for women, or only a “rule” for women, then it‘s probably sexist. She at the time was talking about the hijab, and I was scandalized because I considered that religion and a choice, but her framing was...are men asked to cover up for purity in ⤵️ 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ public spaces for the same religion, and if the answer is no, it‘s probably not wholly religious, but gender biased. Same idea here for purity dances and pledges for girls....are the asking young boys to do the same...nope, so probably more sexism then religion. After all the boys & girls are in the same religion, same holy book, same commandments so the only difference is the sex of the child. 🤷‍♀️. That was her view, and it made sense,⤵️ 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ at last to me. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar I think I reclaimed Bitch awhile ago, maybe around the time Meredith Brooks song Bitch came out... it removed the sting for me to reclaim it a bit. I was thinking about that song today in reference to our discussion about relighting our pilot lights, music is good for that, lots of great women artists singing to just take them as they are, all of them, and their complex selves. (edited) 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser I was thinking about the Power chapter today... her example was from The Black Panthers, and it‘s one of the biographies I should probably read, but it reminded of reading Coretta Scott King‘s memoir too...so much of the civil rights movement was moved by women, but they didn‘t get the recognition or the rights that their male counterparts did....it‘s telling, but very obvious in even the history we learn about it today.

My Life, My Love, My Legacy

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @KVanRead Maybe we need to teach our girls to stand up for themselves a bit more and teach our sons to be still and listen a bit more....come at it from both fronts and meet in the more equitable middle somewhere? 3y

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Julsmarshall

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

pick

This book is is phenomenal! Full of feminist power and fire, the author is a true inspiration to be tough, support all women and girls and to stand up for yourself! This was great on audio but I may need to own it as well. A great recommendation for the women in your life. Definitely has some language and topics that push the envelope but why should men have all the fun? So glad I read this for #shesaid! Thanks @Riveted_Reader_Melissa

Riveted_Reader_Melissa You are so welcome, I‘m glad you enjoyed it! 3y

57 likes4 stack adds1 comment

Riveted_Reader_Melissa

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

I had a hard time putting this down this week. How are you doing with this week‘s selection?

@BarbaraTheBibliophage @tenar @vlwelser @KVanRead @SamAnne @GingerAntics @Julsmarshall @arlenefinnigan @Chab256 @Scochrane26 @Sace @CoffeeK8. @MallenNC @Caroline2 @DebinHawaii @Nute @NeedsMoreBooks @Currey @Augustdana @Suet624 @Singout @mhillis @ImperfectCJ

#SheSaid

Riveted_Reader_Melissa The first of the 2 chapters really spoke to me this week with all the calls for civility, politeness, and unity, but without any consequences or any change in behavior. So it felt timely, at least to me. (edited) 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa The second chapter of the 2, Ambition was harder for me. Even her short fictional story in the beginning, set 30 years in the future sounds so far-fetched...and isn‘t that in itself so sad. 3y

MallenNC At first, I struggled with the chapter on profanity and I had to sit with why. I think it‘s probably because “not talking ugly” is ingrained in women where I‘m from. But I did really agree with her about civility being just a way to avoid any responsibility. The chapter on ambition and what that can look like was great. I got a lot from that. 3y

See All 36 Comments

MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa It‘s interesting that we felt opposite with the two chapters. But the opening essay of chapter two did read like wishful thinking to me also. And that is sad to me. (edited) 3y

KVanRead I haven‘t had a chance to read this week‘s chapters yet because you know life.🤷🏻‍♀️ But I‘m about to start now and looking forward to it! 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @KVanRead Enjoy! Hopefully... 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC I think that‘s a great point about this book, different sections will be harder for different people, and people will get more out of some chapters than others. It is a personal journey for all of us, navigating this life. For me, I have male family members who have no problem cursing up a blue streak, and if you tell them to tone it down, it‘s your problem not theirs, but if a lady swears (gasp, horror)...so it‘s a double standard ⤵️ 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ..I‘ve long noticed. And for me the calls for women to be polite and civil even when no one feels obligated to be civil to them, just struck home for me. And I felt like it was reflected in the political discourse this week too, all these calls for unity now, well where were they before the madness got this bad. It definitely feels like a way to stop conversation, I‘ve noticed the same after school shootings too (the it‘s time for thoughts ⤵️ 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ...& prayers, no rush to judgement or change...and then a few weeks later, it‘s just time to move on). So a way to stop discussion and conversation and honest debate in many ways. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC For Ambition, I loved that she wove into her fiction things like Jamal Khashoggi death and that being a turning point, instead of just one more horrible thing that‘s basically been swept under the rug and sort of forgotten about. 3y

MallenNC I‘m in the South and it‘s definitely not considered “ladylike” to cuss. Plenty of us still do! But it‘s funny to me how certain words are still cringe-y to me bc of my upbringing. In a larger sense, women being taught to be polite is dangerous. 3y

Scochrane26 I finished the book yesterday because I had to return it to library. I think I liked the ambition chapter the best overall. 3y

MallenNC What I liked most about the ambition chapter was the research on how much a difference teachers expecting success for the students made, and how those expectations have been lowered by racism and sexism. I also liked that she pointed out ambition/succeeding is more than being rich or holding a traditional leadership role. 3y

Scochrane26 @MallenNC I think that‘s why I liked the chapter, too. I like that she uses real-life activists‘ stories throughout the book. 3y

MallenNC @Scochrane26 I like their stories too. Some of them, like the activist in Uganda, were new to me. 3y

vlwelser I loved both of these chapters. In Profanity I love that she uses the example of the woman in Uganda calling the president a buttocks. She basically made him look stupid. And she probably would not have gotten anyone's attention otherwise. In Ambition I liked her short story. Because why not? Ambition is all about pursuing goals. 3y

vlwelser And I agree with @Riveted_Reader_Melissa it was hard not to read the entire book. 3y

vlwelser The Attention and Profanity chapters are probably supposed to complement each other which I didn't think about before. Instead of waiting a week between them. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser You‘re right. I think they all connect somewhat, but yes, those 2 particularly. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser I didn‘t think about it until you said it either. 3y

Singout Still waiting for availability... 3y

tenar I only got to ch3, but I liked it! I enjoyed being introduced to the ‘profane‘ women. Just this week, when talking about women pop stars, I was told it was “good that young girls have someone to listen to like Taylor Swift”. I‘m only familiar with her big hits, but I remember a few pitting girls against each other. (“She wears short skirts, I wear T-Shirts”, etc.) I wondered if she specifically is elevated as a role model because of her.. decorum? 3y

tenar I also had the oh-so-appealing urge to think the constraint on women‘s speech was not bad in US, but, wow, that state house debate set me straight. My takeaway was I will no longer use euphemisms for any body parts. And just like y‘all, it had me thinking about how “civility” is being used this month to absolve Republicans of their responsibility in the riots. 👇🏻 3y

tenar Congresspeople who called on their constituents to “threaten” and “fight” are now saying we must be a unified America and the impeachment vote is “too divisive”. Mind your manners! It seems very parallel to the man saying ‘Language, language!‘ when the author was accosted at the airport. 3y

Julsmarshall Ooh, spot on @tenar and @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I saw those parallels too between being told to be polite and quiet while at the same time it is expected and respected for men to be confrontational, crass and uncivil. I too felt like the Ambition chapter may be a bit too ambitious but that is what I‘m working towards for sure. I do fished the audiobook as I need to return it but I‘ll continue with the discussion. Thanks for the push to read it! 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar I think that is why they push Taylor Swift sometimes, her lyrics though, if they paid attention aren‘t always good though. But yep, young, thin, blond, goody, from country music...so she‘s deemed “safe” for whatever reason, in contrast to a Cardi B. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar And yes! I woman censored for saying Vagina when talking about that actual body part, and using the correct biological name no less...sheesh. It reminded me of Warren getting censured for reading another woman‘s letter (Corretta Scott King‘s letter) into the Congressional record. A male coworker read it into the record the next session, with no problem. Still unequal treatment. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar and again, I agree. I could see that so clearly this week. No calls for unity to the “protestors” to accept the election results, but lots of calls for unity to Democrats to not hold anyone accountable because that‘s decisive. Honestly, ask your constituents to unify to accept this election first, support this gov‘t...or maybe unify with the Dems to denounce the whole mucked up mess and hold those responsible accountable.... but no, ⤵️ 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ...now the newest is that it‘s Nancy‘s fault (of course the lady‘s fault) for not protecting them enough, but not theirs for stoking conspiracy theories. It is crazy. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Julsmarshall you‘re welcome! It‘s a good read and makes you think about a lot that you maybe just took for granted as standard. I know I need that sometimes, to remind myself that things don‘t need to be this way, it‘s a choice we are making as a society. 3y

Augustdana I‘m so glad these posts are tagged! I‘m next on the list at the library and cannot wait!! ***waiting very impatiently. 3y

MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Reading the chapter on profanity this week was perfect timing for the reasons you mention. The ones doing the violence and those who benefit from it aren‘t being asked about unity. Unity is just an excuse to sweep it under the rug. 3y

MallenNC @Augustdana I‘d still love to see your thoughts when you are able to get the book! 3y

tenar @vwesler @MallenNC If anyone wants to read more, NPR‘s Rough Translation covered Stella Nyanzi‘s story. I honestly was even more impressed with her after it deeply humanized her. She was loud when I would have been my quietest, and that turned her personal low moment into a movement. The transcript:

https://www.npr.org/transcripts/928692038

The ‘pair of buttocks‘ Museveni remained in power this week after a fraught and contested election. 3y

MallenNC @tenar Thanks for that! I like Rough Translation but I‘ve not been able to keep up with it since the first season. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar Thank you for the link! I love the great stuff everyone brings into these discussions! @MallenNC I didn‘t even know about Rough Translations 3y

37 likes1 stack add36 comments

mhillis

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

📚 Current read: The Aosawa Murders
📚 Book you read because of Litsy: Many, but the most recent one is the tagged book recommended by @Riveted_Reader_Melissa
📚 Fav reading drink: green tea
#weekendreads

rachelsbrittain

44 likes

Riveted_Reader_Melissa

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

I remember when I scheduled this one for January and said I thought we‘d need it by then no matter how the election turned out, little did I realize how crazy January would be 😳

So besides the craziness: How are you liking the new read so far? Too much politics right now? Just the right infusion of “enough of this nonsense” that we need? I will admit, I was reading the part about false calls for civility at just the right time yesterday...

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @BarbaraTheBibliophage @tenar @vlwelser @KVanRead @SamAnne @GingerAntics @Julsmarshall @arlenefinnigan @Chab256 @Scochrane26 @Sace @CoffeeK8. @MallenNC @Caroline2 @DebinHawaii @Nute @NeedsMoreBooks @Currey @Augustdana @Suet624 @Singout @mhillis @ImperfectCJ #SheSaid (edited) 3y

vlwelser I love this so far. Mona is a badass. She doesn't hold anything back. I love what she says about free speech. "Protecting freedom of speech is important, but for them it had become conflated with protecting their right to be racist and bigoted. And that must be protested and made socially unacceptable." 3y

tenar What a week! This read made me emotional; the patriarchy put my pilot light out in my teenage years. When I think about that, and when I think about how that was much longer than most had a chance to keep theirs lit, I feel sadness & lethargy instead of anger. I related so much to this reading, agreed with so much of this reading (even as someone who thinks of themselves as an attempted practitioner of ‘nonviolence‘), and I learned a lot as well. 3y

See All 23 Comments

tenar I come bearing links:
June Jordan‘s full “Poem About My Rights” (graphic content)
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48762/poem-about-my-rights

And an article that I thought tied what we‘ve read into what we‘ve seen in the US this week - “Valuing male dominance may predict support for Trump, study says”
https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/09/health/trump-support-male-dominance-wellness/inde...
The term ‘hegemonic masculinity‘ was a great Google! 3y

MallenNC I‘m a little behind on this section. For much of the week I couldn‘t focus enough to read. But I am going to catch up! I read her first book before. I‘m impressed by her willingness to speak the truth. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser Yes, I could see that in action this week, and even had to remind some people that free speech (at least in the US) even has some limits...no shouting “fire” in a crowded theater, things such as hate speech, etc. and even if you are free to say it that doesn‘t mean anybody must give you a book deal, a podium, or a engagement to say it in. You can say & be ostracized for saying it. I found her take no guff from anyone quite refreshing. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar Yes, even as a very privileged white lady in America, I distinctly remember the listens of being quiet, seen and not heard, you‘re older than your brother and must take care of him (even though we are both kids) lessons....and the flip side of boys will be boys lessons too. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @tenar I wanted to look up so much that she mentioned. I‘m reading her other book right now too. I wanted to finish it before I started this one but watching the news nonstop got in the way of that. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC It will fly by, I was behind too and read it Sat evening. And @vlwelser is right, her take no prisoners attitude was a nice change at the end of this week where the stories were all unity and move on. 3y

KVanRead I am loving this so far and finding it very liberating and energizing. @vlwelser Badass is exactly what I was thinking while reading. @tenar thanks for sharing the June Jordan link! I was going to Google it but now I don‘t have to! Such a powerful piece. I also totally related to the pilot light metaphor. It‘s poignant that once it‘s turned out it is so hard to reignite —I have a lot of work to do there. This was eye opening for me. Powerful... 3y

KVanRead ...to consider not all rage is bad. Rage against the patriarchy is not only not bad but necessary. I also loved her points on cultural relativism, that using culture to justify oppression is not okay, and at the same time unacceptable to use cultural comparisons to let ourselves off the hook. 3y

KVanRead And here‘s a link to LeGuin‘s We are volcanoes speech. https://speakola.com/grad/ursula-le-guin-we-are-volcanoes-bryn-mawr-1986 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @KVanRead This book helped me with that a bit, you might like it too. Maybe I should reread it again soon actually.... but it helped me see all those “good girl” troupes were more about controlling girls than teaching politeness.

Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger

Riveted_Reader_Melissa And thank you @tenar and @KVanRead for the great links! 3y

KVanRead @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Thanks. Looks good! 3y

KVanRead I just finished reading the Le Guin piece. It‘s long but so brilliant. Made me sob for some reason. 3y

mhillis It‘s very interesting so far. I‘m going to look into the links-thanks for sharing them! 3y

Scochrane26 I liked the 2nd chapter better than the first part. Some of it has been a little too rage-y for me. I definitely have some rage in me, especially this last week, but I don‘t always want to read books that are too angry. I did back in my 20‘s though. She has good points. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Scochrane26 I wish I‘d gotten there in my 20‘s... I was still very quiet then. I think it hits us at different ages, where we just sort of hit a ceiling with patriarchy (in this case, and it‘s as good a word as any), and start getting mad at the system and not caring what everyone else things about our choices. I always think of the old purple hat society and the poem that inspired it... it‘s just now women aren‘t waiting until they are ⤵️ 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ they are old and no longer “in societies view” to exert some control over their own lives and make decisions based on their likes, not societies dictates. https://laterbloomer.com/jenny-joseph/ 3y

tenar @KVanRead You put it well! I was beaten down in my teens and early twenties, and I‘ve lately realized some of the healing work I‘ve done is to get a flame burning again. It‘s small, though, and mostly burns for grand causes but not to fight for myself. I think I‘ll learn a lot from this book, and add Rage Becomes Her to my TBR! tyvm @Riveted_Reader_Melissa

(And thanks for sharing the Le Guin speech- when I got to the volcanoes line I choked up!) 3y

tenar @Scochrane26 @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Great discussion. I also avoid reading a lot of rage, and I‘m still in my twenties! The author writing this at 50 gave me a lot to examine in my own mind. I believe I have a prejudice that we all, maybe especially women, cool our passions as we age. Or maybe that we “should” do so. But I know better than that. Everyone‘s life is unique, and anger can be vital.

Hah, what a perfect poem! “And learn to spit.” 3y

Julsmarshall I‘m listening to this on audio, on loan from the library so I‘m listening ahead to finish before it returns. The book is so powerful, Eltahawy is a force of nature! I appreciated how she illustrated that patriarchy affects all of us, all over the world, no matter our religion, culture, education or financial situation. Her writing and tone manage to be positive and uplifting despite being filled with fire and accusation. 3y

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Just a reminder for the new year...this is the slate of books coming up in 2021 for #SheSaid if anyone would like to join in and/or put in library holds. Also June is LGBTQIA month here in the US, so start thinking about any nominations you might have in that category for June‘s read. List them in the comments below!

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @BarbaraTheBibliophage @tenar @vlwelser @KVanRead @SamAnne @GingerAntics @Julsmarshall @arlenefinnigan @Chab256 @Scochrane26 @Sace @CoffeeK8. @MallenNC @Caroline2 @DebinHawaii @Nute @NeedsMoreBooks @Currey @Augustdana @Suet624 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa Sister Outsider was in our tier two of choices last vote, and since it fits I‘ll start off the nominations with that one.

Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches

MallenNC I joined this group late so I don‘t know if this one has already been read, but I‘ve been meaning to read

Tomorrow Will Be Different: Love, Loss, and the Fight for Trans Equality

See All 17 Comments

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC We just started in September so you only missed a few. Last year we read One Person, No Vote by Carol Anderson, Know My Name by Chanel Miller, We Are Displaced by Malala Yousafzai, and then Girl, Woman, Other. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC And great nomination! 3y

MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Oh good. I just missed one then! 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC I knew you joined pretty early, I just couldn‘t remember if it was at the first book or not. 3y

MallenNC @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I started with Know My Name bc I‘d had it on my TBR and thought having a group read would help me to finally start it. And then I loved it. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @MallenNC I understand! I put that one off for a long time too and it was such a good book! 3y

vlwelser Sister Outsider would be good. But I'm nominating this one...

Zami: A New Spelling of My Name

Riveted_Reader_Melissa

Gender Queer: a Memoir

vlwelser @MallenNC 's nomination also looks good. I'm pretty sure we will never run out of books. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser That looks great! 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser that‘s the plan! 🤫 3y

CoffeeK8 I second Sister Outsider. 3y

kspenmoll I have some of theses titles in my TBR. Can I join in when I can? I have Feb book 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @kspenmoll Yes you can, you‘re welcome for any and all you want to join in on, I‘ll add you to the group tag list if that‘s ok. 3y

47 likes1 stack add17 comments

Julsmarshall

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

So excited that @wanderinglynn is hosting the Book Fitness Challenge again! I‘m looking forward to changing up my goals each month, for January they are:
1. Integrate my shelf by reading more books by BIPOC and LGBTQ+ authors than white cis authors, starting with the tagged book.
2. Work out for at least 20 minutes each day and track my workouts.

Looking forward to cheering everyone on! #BFC21 #integrateyourshelf

kspenmoll 🙌🏻🙌🏻 3y

wanderinglynn Great goals! 🎉 And Team BFC21 will be here to cheer you on. 3y

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Just a reminder that our January read is fast approaching, so check your library holds 😉

@BarbaraTheBibliophage @tenar @vlwelser @KVanRead @SamAnne @GingerAntics @Julsmarshall @arlenefinnigan @Chab256 @Scochrane26 @Sace @CoffeeK8. @MallenNC @Caroline2 @DebinHawaii @Nute @NeedsMoreBooks @Currey @Augustdana @Suet624

And anyone else who would like to join in, if you‘d like to be tagged or untagged just let me know.

#SheSaid

arlenefinnigan Gonna have to sit this one out unfortunately, it's not out here yet 😔 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @arlenefinnigan I‘m so sorry to hear that. No matter how long they‘ve been out, on Goodreads it says this one was published in 2019, there‘s always one place that it isn‘t out yet. I ran into that with a Star Wars book this past year, out over a year in the US, still not released in the UK. Between ebooks and audiobooks, I‘m still amazed at the lag times in release dates. 3y

arlenefinnigan @Riveted_Reader_Melissa I'm very much looking forward to reading it though. 3y

See All 18 Comments

Suet624 Thank you for the reminder. I need to find this. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Suet624 You‘re welcome! Honestly I should have tagged you this past month and it slipped my mind. I‘m so sorry. 3y

Suet624 No apology needed. 💕💕 3y

Singout I‘d like to join if I get it on time! 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Singout Feel free to join us whenever you get it. It‘s not a long one, so catching up shouldn‘t be too bad for this one. 3y

Julsmarshall Ooh, thanks for the reminder! Just snagged from the library 😄 3y

MallenNC Got it! Thanks for the reminder. 3y

KVanRead This looks great! 3y

Augustdana 👍👍👍👍👍 I‘m on it 3y

mhillis I just started reading! I‘d like to join in 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @mhillis Welcome Aboard!!! Glad to have you join us! 3y

ImperfectCJ I have this out from the library and would like to join in. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @ImperfectCJ I‘ll add you to the tag list, welcome aboard! 3y

vlwelser I just got this and immediately read the intro. I'm looking forward to the discussions. I don't know who found this but extra props to them. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @vlwelser Yea!! 3y

49 likes3 stack adds18 comments

Riveted_Reader_Melissa

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

“I say “fuck” because that‘s what racism deserves. I am from the “If they go low, I will fucking come for them” school of thought.”

https://www.feministgiant.com/p/essay-why-i-say-fuck

From the author of our next book #SheSaid, I hope no one is offended by profanity, I think this is going to be an interesting read.

Prairiegirl_reading Love it!!!! 3y

KVanRead This is fucking great 👍🏽 3y

Amandajoy Sometimes it‘s just the right word for the situation. 3y

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GingerAntics 🤣😂🤣 3y

ErickaS_Flyleafunfurled Absofuckinglutely 3y

Augustdana Love her on Twitter!! Thinking about treating myself and signing up for her feminist giant patreon. Haven‘t gotten around to reading this book yet !! 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Augustdana We are doing a group read of the tagged book in January with #SheSaid if you are interested in joining us.

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls

Augustdana @Riveted_Reader_Melissa thanks for the heads up, I just might join in!! 3y

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Riveted_Reader_Melissa

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Just a reminder of what‘s coming up for #SheSaid in 2021! June is LGBTQIA Pride Month here in the US, so we‘ll be looking for nominations that compliment that.

@BarbaraTheBibliophage @tenar @vlwelser @KVanRead @SamAnne @GingerAntics @Julsmarshall @arlenefinnigan @Chab256 @Scochrane26 @Sace @CoffeeK8. @MallenNC @Caroline2 @DebinHawaii @Nute And anyone else who would like to join in!

If you‘d like to be tagged or untagged, just let me know.

CoffeeK8 I‘m super excited for these reads! 3y

NeedsMoreBooks Would like to join 🙋🏻‍♀️ 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @NeedsMoreBooks I‘ll add you to the tags going forward! We are reading Girl, Woman, Other in December if you are interested in joining us.

Girl, Woman, Other

megnews I want to join for April and May. 3y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @megnews I‘ll do my best to tag you then. If I forget just remind me. 😉 3y

44 likes5 comments

Riveted_Reader_Melissa

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

The votes are in #SheSaid, there was a 3 way tie in first place: The Seven Necessary Sins for Woman and Girls (we may really need this one by January), Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women, and Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents. Then I made an executive decision and elevated one of the many runners-up (7 books tied there), because it just didn‘t seem right not to have that voice in our lineup for Black History Month, ⤵️

Riveted_Reader_Melissa ↪️ otherwise we are rounding out the beginning of 2021 with our next fiction choice. @BarbaraTheBibliophage @tenar @JHgotham @vlwelser @KVanRead @SamAnne @GingerAntics @Julsmarshall @arlenefinnigan @Chab256 @Scochrane26 @Sace @CoffeeK8 anyone else want to join, let me know and I‘ll add you to the tagging group. (edited) 4y

tenar I‘m so looking forward to these books! Looks like you made a great pick for February. 4y

GingerAntics Thanks for the schedule. Love the entire list. You‘re right, we‘re going to need January‘s book... possibly sooner rather than later. 4y

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Suet624 Great selections! I may unofficially join in. I'm feeling a bit stretched in my reading assignments already :). But I love the books you've chosen and I know I'll be tempted to follow along. 4y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Suet624 I completely understand that, that‘s why I didn‘t start this sooner...to overcommitted, but then I found myself picking up and reading the books anyway, so I figured might as well read with friends. So many of these great books beg for a discussion! I‘ll tag you going forward, feel free to jump in and out with any books you want, and just let me know if you want me to take you off. 4y

Suet624 Thank you! I appreciate that. 👍🏻❤️ 4y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @Suet624 You‘re very welcome 4y

KVanRead These are all such a exciting choices and so great for group reading. Can‘t wait!! And thanks again for organizing and hosting! 4y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @KVanRead You are very welcome! 4y

CoffeeK8 Awesome! Thank you for organizing! 4y

Riveted_Reader_Melissa @GingerAntics 4y

GingerAntics I got it this time for sure! 4y

37 likes12 comments

Lindy

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

pick

Mona Eltahawy‘s rage against the patriarchy really struck a chord with me. The necessary “sins” in her manifesto are anger, ambition, profanity, violence, attention-seeking, lust & power. I want to join her in dismantling an unjust system. Burn it down! I join her in celebrating the audacity of teenage girls around the world who save themselves and teenage girls who will save the planet. I join her in celebrating women & girls who sin. #audiobook

TrishB Lindy I ran off to buy based on that review! It‘s not out here until September ☹️ stacked to remind me!! 4y

TrishB My MIL is always telling my daughter (her grand daughter) that she‘s too loud and boys (assumption!) don‘t like loud girls! My daughter carries on being loud and I tell her to be louder! 4y

Lindy @TrishB Yes! Keep on telling your daughter to be louder! 4y

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TrishB She has unpopular feminist opinions too ❤️😂 4y

Lindy @TrishB Triple hurrah! 4y

Prairiegirl_reading Sounds amazing! 4y

Lindy @Prairiegirl_reading 😁👍 4y

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Lindy

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

We must reject civility. There is nothing civil about racism or misogyny or transphobia. Warnings precede profanity to protect the sensibility of the reader. Where are the warnings that precede patriarchy to protect the lives of women and girls?

(Internet image)

readordierachel 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 4y

Lindy @readordierachel Eltahawy doesn‘t pull her punches. 4y

sprainedbrain 🙌🏻 4y

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Lindy

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Girls know their power. They are born knowing it, which is why patriarchy socializes it out of them and why it extinguishes the pilot light of their anger.

BarbaraTheBibliophage ♥️ this 4y

Lindy @BarbaraTheBibliophage Me too. Yes indeed. 4y

Cathythoughts 😁great pic 4y

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Lindy @Cathythoughts I had this photo on my phone from the last time I was in Wellington NZ (2017); wall decoration at a school. 4y

Cathythoughts I love it ! I‘ve never made it to NZ , somewhere I would love to see.. 4y

Lindy @Cathythoughts We plan to travel there again in early 2021, but coronavirus may change that (finances/health/travel restrictions). Too soon to tell. 4y

Cathythoughts 🤞🏻❤️ 4y

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Jen2

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

pick

Intense and a must read!

49 likes

HeatherBlue

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Couldn‘t walk away from that cover ❤️

45 likes

StellarDoc

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

That's one hell of a dedication! I look forward to reading the rest of the book! @FeministBookClub

12 likes

MrsMalaprop

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

pick

I was inspired to wear my favourite t-shirt while finishing this book today. Mona is truly awesome. I have already bought a second copy to give to a friend for Christmas. Buy it. Read it. #fuckthepatriarchy 🖕🏻✊💜

Jee_HookedOnBookz Love your shirt and the book cover! 4y

Jee_HookedOnBookz Stacked! 😊 4y

Rissreads Which bookstore did you buy it at Serena? I'm wanting 2 copies. One for me and one for Shannon. 😊 4y

MrsMalaprop @rissreads got my copy at Crow & a second one at Dymocks Garden City. (edited) 4y

Rissreads Thanks! X 4y

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MrsMalaprop

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Sin Number 5: Power. 👊

Here she‘s writing about Palestinian American Rashida Tlaib, elected to the US House of Representatives in November 2018.

34 likes

FeministBookClub

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Announcing our December book of the month!

We‘re a monthly subscription box that sends feminist books and products from woman-owned businesses. We meet virtually so you can join us from anywhere! We also donate 5% of all sales to a different feminist organization each month. See all our membership options at feministbookclub.com/shop

Darklunarose I probably could never keep up with a book club but this looks like my kind of read 4y

MrsMalaprop Reading this right now 👊❤️. 4y

kaysworld1 Hey guys are you still doing the readathon in October?? Xx 4y

57 likes2 stack adds3 comments

MrsMalaprop

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Necessary sin number 3: Profanity.
This book is making me think hard. Gotta love that.

“I will not be civil to anything or anyone that refuses to acknowledge the full humanity of women and girls. This is a battle. To that end, the shock and the offense profanity causes are necessary and important.”

ephemeralwaltz She is glorious! 4y

MrsMalaprop @ephemeralwaltz Isn‘t she just! 😍 4y

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MrsMalaprop

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Sin Number 1: Anger.

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MrsMalaprop

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Oops! Shopping for my husband‘s Christmas presents today in my favourite bookshop, I came across this. Could. Not. Resist 🙈🙊🙊.

Eltahawy was in Australia recently where she caused a “shit-storm” (is that an Australian expression?) on tv show, Q&A. It has lead to many a heated discussion between my husband & I.

I first heard about her on Litsy when this book came out a couple of months ago.

Now I‘m dropping everything to dive on in 👊🙌✊.

Caroline2 Ohhhh stacked!!! 😀 4y

Hooked_on_books We use shitstorm in the US as well. I love this cover! 4y

BookwormM Shit storm used in the UK 👍 4y

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Sace Just put the audiobook on hold. Thank you for bringing this book to my attention. 4y

MrsMalaprop Ha ha, thanks for clarifying that it‘s a fairly universal description @BookwormM @Hooked_on_books 💩⛈😂. 4y

Rissreads Oh god another book stacked 🤣 4y

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ephemeralwaltz

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

My instagram feeds off of her energy. I need to read her soon #TBR

MrsMalaprop Oh my word, how have I not heard of her? Going to find her on Insta now. 🙏 5y

JulietReads Wow, she looks so alive! 5y

ephemeralwaltz @MrsMalaprop @JulietBooks she's inspirational! 5y

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ReadingEnvy

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

pick

Mona Eltahawy was born to an Egyptian Muslim family, and previously tackled misogyny in the Muslim world in Headscarves and Hymens: Why the Middle East Needs a Sexual Revolution. In this book, she takes more of a global view, and writes a manifesto for all women and girls (including trans women and nonbinary people) for taking down the patriarchy. ⤵️

ReadingEnvy She identifies seven "sins" that need to be committed to dismantle power structures - anger, attention, profanity, ambition, power, violence, and lust. She includes her own stories of violence and protest and arrest and the stories of other women, tying them to data and historical contexts that serve to explain the situations in specific places but also how there is not a place where women can escape structural oppression. ⤵️ 5y

ReadingEnvy It's very readable while being well documented. Her arguments are international and intersectional and do not exclude the United States (since sometimes people in the United States seem to only think women are oppressed "over there.") She explains how sexual violence is used as a war tactic, how double oppression is used in countries controlled by dictators or religion, and how powerful men try to silence teenagers like Greta Thunberg.⤵️ 5y

ReadingEnvy What does bodily autonomy mean? ("At what age does my body belong just to me?") What if women and girls used the power they have been taught to bury? (She says, "What if girls were taught they were volcanoes, whose eruptions were a thing of beauty...?) What if women and girls refused to yield space to be dominated by others desires or ideas? (She says, "The most subversive thing a woman can do is talk about her life as if it really matters.")
5y

jillrhudy Just when I‘ve decided the feminist virtues are peace, joy, contentment, pathfinding and solitude. But then I‘m 51. 5y

ReadingEnvy @jillrhudy those are the virtues, she's talking about necessary sins :) 5y

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Dorianna

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Another fantastic book signing event tonight.

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Andrea313

The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls | Mona Eltahawy

Come September 17th, I'm gonna get myself #SomethingNew! "Egyptian-American journalist and activist Mona Eltahawy argues that women need to start embodying the traits they‘ve been taught to repress, like being angry, lustful and ambitious. Balancing her personal stories with those of women around the globe, Eltahawy‘s second book is essential." #SelfImprovementSept
@Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks @OriginalCyn620

OriginalCyn620 Sounds good! And that cover! 😂 5y

18 likes1 comment

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