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Come as You Are
Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life | Emily Nagoski
***A NEW YORK TIMES BESTELLER*** An essential exploration of why and how womens sexuality worksbased on groundbreaking research and brain sciencethat will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a pink pill for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never be the answerbut as a result of the research thats gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how womens sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all. The first lesson in this essential, transformative book by Dr. Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. So we never need to judge ourselves based on others experiences. Because women vary, and thats normal. Second lesson: sex happens in a context. And all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a womans arousal, desire, and orgasm. Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life, is not what you do in bed or how you do it, but how you feel about it. Which means that stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a womans sexual wellbeing; they are central to it. Once you understand these factors, and how to influence them, you can create for yourself better sex and more profound pleasure than you ever thought possible. And Emily Nagoski can prove it.
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triplem80
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Pickpick

This book was really good -- and really uncomfortable. Definitely targeted towards women (though men can read it too!), it attempts to get across the point that we are all completely normal JUST AS WE ARE. I'm not gonna lie, I cried at several points in this book, because it hit on some of my personal insecurities and traumas. To me, it was about more than just sex, but also self-acceptance. Totally worth a read.

18 likes2 stack adds4 comments
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IndoorDame
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One of my top nonfiction reads last year. We need more people focusing on women‘s health and women‘s sexuality. #surprise #JanuaryJazz @Eggs @Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks

Alwaysbeenaloverofbooks So true ❤️ 5d
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GingerAntics
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Pickpick

Made it with 2 minutes to spare!!!

I really enjoyed this book, and it also gave me several more books for my reading list. I love the discussion about everyone being normal, HAES and letting ourselves off the hook. This is the knowledge I wish I had when I was a teenager, but even more I wish/hope this is the information we can give our daughters.
#EmilyNagoski #ComeAsYouAre #SexPositive2022

TheBookHippie I give this book to every teen girl I mentor. 1mo
GingerAntics @TheBookHippie really?! 😮 That‘s awesome! Just the simple message of “you‘re normal” is so powerful for teenagers in general, but especially girls. 🧡🧡🧡 1mo
kspenmoll I need to read this!!‘ 4w
24 likes3 comments
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RaeLovesToRead
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Mehso-so

This was more self-help than science, but had a strong message of celebrating female sexuality and prioritising pleasure.

I'm convinced that most people who read this book will come away with more kindness towards their sexual selves and more understanding of both their and their partner's inner workings.

I did feel there were key topics missing: vaginismus, fetishes etc. Widening the reassurance umbrella would undoubtedly help more women.

⭐⭐⭐

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RaeLovesToRead

When she isn't warning us that we need to get our thinking caps on, Nagoski speaks a lot of sense.

Her chapter on physiological stress is a lot better than many other self-help books' attempts on the subject.

I found this a reassuring and constructively voiced chapter, in a totally non-sex related way.

Her writings on attachment are commonsense and understandable too.

I think I might be a walking maladaptive coping strategy, though 😅😅

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RaeLovesToRead

"I want to warn you ahead of time: This is the nerdiest, scienciest chapter in the book. Dust off your thinking cap. It's worth it."

"Did you make it? Phew! That was the hard part. Nice job."

Dear Book,

Please stop patronising me.

It's very, very annoying.

Love,

Rae x

rabbitprincess Yeah that is not a great look, assuming that ladies don‘t do science 😬 3mo
RaeLovesToRead @rabbitprincess I watched a TED talk by the author and she was totally different to how I was expecting from the tone of the book. "Perky" science writing (or should I say perky "science" writing?) annoys me. I felt the same reading Gut by Giulia Enders. It's like "let's all find out how amazing Mr Intestine is, OK guys?" ? 3mo
batsy Oh god, that would annoy the heck out of me too! 3mo
RaeLovesToRead @batsy She just said "for realsie real." I'm not even joking ??‍♀️ 3mo
51 likes5 comments
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Booksbymybed
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Pickpick

This was an incredibly kind and compassionate book, I think all women regardless of how they feel about their sexual lives will benefit from reading this book. The most informative part of this book for me was the connection between stress and sexuality. I am looking forward to further reading about stress in author‘s other book “Burnout”.

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IndoorDame
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Pickpick

My work gave this to the women as an end of year gift a few years back (the office manager who loves this & wanted everyone to read it checked with us first). I started it right away, then lockdown stress derailed everything & I only got back to it this month. Wow! What a great read. Not only does it delve into women‘s sexuality in ways most of us have never heard before, I learned things about all my emotional processing systems I hadn‘t known.

JenniferEgnor Haven‘t read this one yet but I have read Dr. Jennifer Gunter‘s The Vagina Bible—I loved it. I follow her social media. Very educational, unapologetic and intersectional. As it should be! 5mo
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she.hearts.horror
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A hymen is a bonus: who knew ?!

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Zoes_Human
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Pickpick

This is what all self-help should be. Science-informed, inclusive guidance by an experienced expert in the field which has absolutely no sales pitch. The audio narration is amazing by the way. Emily Nagoski's genuine passion for her topic and decades of experience as an educator really shines in it.

brittanybooks Yaaaaaasssss 6mo
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rsteve388
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Just got my #SSS Package

Avanders 💃🏽💃🏽🧬🧝🏽‍♀️🧞‍♂️💜 10mo
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Shievad
Pickpick

Definitely recommend this book for women and their partners. I listened to the audiobook from the library and the library app didn‘t have capabilities for the PDF. I‘ll likely buy the physical book or ebook for the appendices. One thing I wish it included: a discussion of how for some women, where they are in their cycle can influence their sexual accelerator/break.

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rsteve388
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@DinoMom Your #SSS Package is in the mail. I went through FedEx. You'll be charged a customs.fee. please email me rsteve388@gmail.com and Ill reimburse you for that fee. Your tacking number is: 27106290343 your package should arrive at customs on March 29th.

Avanders 🔮💜🖤🦠👏🏽👏🏽 10mo
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brittanybooks
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Pickpick

Such a great book! The only draw back was the title… I would get the Nirvana song stuck in my head when I looked at the cover. #book23of2022

RiverKScottWrites I loved this so much I made my partner read it and gave it to three other people too! 12mo
JamieArc I read this with my partner and it created such good conversations. That was 5 years ago, and we still refer to it. 12mo
Patchshank Haha. I always think of the Nirvana song too. 12mo
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brittanybooks
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brittanybooks
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brittanybooks
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brittanybooks
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@TheAromaofBooks @Andrew65
#WeekendReads
📚Come As You Are
📚Fudge Cupcake Murder
📚Marriage and Other Acts of Charity

Andrew65 A great weekend ahead. 12mo
TheAromaofBooks Woohoo!!! 12mo
LoverOfLearning This is my current read! About half way done with it. 12mo
brittanybooks @LoverOfLearning Oooh! I love a good memoir! And I‘ve seen positive reviews for it! Stacked!!! 12mo
LoverOfLearning Make sure you don't buy the large print version with an ugly cover like I did 🤣 definitely struggling to pick it back up. 12mo
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RoweC
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Pickpick

Incredibly well researched and easily accessible. An important read, I think, for all people who have vaginas and love people who have vaginas.

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GingerAntics
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I planned to start this on the 15th, but then found out there was a new, updated version. I originally decided to wait until I got paid so I could get the 2021 version, but I watched all of her TED talks (she‘s done about 4 of them) and I love her so much. So I‘m going to get started here, and then get the audiobook of the updated version in about 2 weeks when I get paid.
#EmilyNagoski #ComeAsYouAre #SexPositive2021

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amyf0x
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Pickpick

Nagoski writes about all the tricky ins and outs of sex from the perspective of helping women find and embrace their pleasure.

Read May 23 - June 3
Rated 4/5 ⭐️
Book 29/60

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peanutnine
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Pickpick

I wish I had read this years ago!!
Nagoski debunks all the stereotypes surrounding women's sexuality and explains that everyone is different and everyone is normal. She uses science and research to back her arguments but in a very approachable way.
There's a lot of information to unpack here but it's very enlightening and I will be thinking about it a lot.

AutumnRLS I've been reading this on and off for the last couple of years. Wonderful information, but I haven't finished the last chapter. Looking forward to reading her book Burnout next. 2y
peanutnine @AutumnRLS I hadn't heard of Burnout, but now I've looked it up and want to read it too lol 2y
AutumnRLS @peanutnine, awesome! 2y
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Messiejessie
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Pickpick

This was interesting, thought provoking and full of insights I hadn‘t considered before.

CarolynM I'm intrigued! Any hints? 2y
Messiejessie It goes into the science behind what makes us tick which affects how we feel about lots of things, including sex. One of the main points is that everyone‘s sexuality is different, but normal. Learning to embrace what you have. An interesting point she makes is debunking the use of the term ‘sex drive‘ and instead it talks about sexuality in terms of brakes and accelerators. Learning about what things activate your brakes and accelerator. 2y
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peanutnine
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Dalaine
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Pickpick

I started reading this book on Libby and midway decided it was a book I needed a physical copy of.
It's so important to engage with educational material that not only makes you feel more empowered but also more seen. I can sit back and know that I am normal as I am right now - in huge part thanks to this book (Vagina Bible helped too).
Sex Ed around the world has been a travesty. Do yourself a favour and read this book. You won't regret it.

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REPollock
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Pickpick

Every woman in Western culture--perhaps many others--should read this book. Granted, you have to just accept the cheesy subtitle that makes it sound like a protracted Cosmo listicle, and the author's narrative voice is (i thought) fairly breathless in an infomercial saleslady kind of way. But, the science is sound, and it completely blew my mind how much misinformation women are taught about their own biology.

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REPollock
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I‘m interested in what she‘s saying, but so far this book reads like an infomercial.

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sarahlandis
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Pickpick

I cannot describe how important I think this book is! It educates on all things sex- the biology of genitals, sexual arousal, how your mental state and environment influences arousal, and of course orgasms. It explains meta-feelings- how we feel about how we feel. It flips all cultural stigmas and everything that works against sex positivity on its head. It‘s narrates solutions for sex issues due to trauma, insecurity, and lack of education.

sarahlandis Just... everyone should read this!! 2y
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flybluejay
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Pickpick

One of the many reasons this book is important is because it forces female readers to confront the fact that emotional and mental wellness are crucial to having heathy relationships and a great sex life. Women are whole beings, just like men, and it‘s our responsibility to take care of our whole mind, body, and spirit so we can enjoy all parts of our lives as fully as possible.

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Messiejessie
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baberj
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Starting at the but uncomfortable feelings happen part. This paragraph is so true to so many instances in life.

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lilpumpkin2.0
Pickpick

June 10, 2020 It has been three days since I posted about this book. Three days!!! I would highly recommend it not only because it says New York Bestselling Author on the cover but because when I read it, i felt like many young women and women in general need to hear that they are normal. "You are normal". Do not think that you arent normal based on the insecurities you have with your body. Everybody has a body they are given. 4/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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lilpumpkin2.0
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June 7, 2020 I ordered this book and another book from Amazon on May 31st or June 1st and it arrived on June 6. I may be late to the game in reading this book but I am excited to read it to gain knowledge. Reading books like this allow me to gain more knowledge so I dont mess up when the time "comes". Haha What a joke! Come as you Are by Emily Nagoski talks about the science of sex.

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Erin.Elizabeth10
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Pickpick

I liked this book! It definitely gave me good food for thought and conversation topics.

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Julsmarshall
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Pickpick

This book was fascinating. It encourages the reader/listener to look at pleasure, sex and passion in a new way and details how stress and societal expectations can impact every aspect of our lives. I highly recommend this to those who are interested in the subject and in this aspect of their lives.

RowReads1 💕 3y
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dr.vishalvernekar
Mehso-so

Very comprehensive book on women sexuality, deals not only about the body but also about the mind and soul but the useful info can be summarised in few pages, there is a lot of 'beating around the bush' no pun intended..

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dr.vishalvernekar
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If I only knew then what I know now....

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Michollio
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Mehso-so

There was some great info in here, but this book wasn't really for me. A lot of metaphors that didn't really work for me, a plethora of examples, and what seemed like a lot of repetitive info. I got the overarching message, which I appreciate, but I ended up skimming the last few chapters because it all seemed to be the same info. It's not a bad book, and I'm sure it would be a great resource for some people.

#BookishBingo: F/m Oct. TBR

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Verity
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Mehso-so

Interesting, but a little bit too out there in its expression for this solid (and boring ) Brit!

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Verity
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Fresh non-fiction reading. 📖 📚

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sebrittainclark
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Pickpick

4/5

As someone who didn't receive much of a sex education, I picked up this book to try to educate myself as an adult. I feel like I learned so much about how female sexuality works from reading this book. I'm going to be recommend this book to a lot of people.

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mrozzz
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New books on Friday make for a very good start to the weekend 🤓📚📚📚 #bookhaul

swishandflick A Princess in Theory!!! Sooooo good 👏🏽 4y
mrozzz I‘ve been waiting for the perfect moment to buy it 😊 @swishandflick 4y
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Chelsea.Poole
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Pickpick

I think this book could be incredibly useful for people looking to improve their view of sex. I felt there was a nice mix of science with how-to tidbits on improving one's own sex life. Nothing I was shocked to hear, but definitely some reasons behind why we are the way we are when it comes to sex. The #audiobook on #libby was quite nice.

kgriffith This is a rec a former (autistic) partner often brings up; it‘s been on my list for a while. 4y
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Chelsea.Poole
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My littlest guy is sick with the stomach bug😣 so I am home with him today. While he napped on the couch I grabbed a moment to make parmesan pasta with peas and read a few more pages. I'm loving this book. I'm going to recommend it to several of my (nonreader) friends who could greatly benefit from the subject matter.

Lovesbooks87 Hope your little one feels better soon! 4y
Suet624 sounds interesting! 4y
Chelsea.Poole @Lovesbooks87 thank you! Me too! 4y
Chelsea.Poole @Suet624 it really is! 4y
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sophierayton
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Pickpick

Hurray for sex researchers and educators. This book is very well done. I didn't feel gross or squirmy at all while reading it; it's presented in a very scientific way. If you're a sexually active woman I recommend you read this book.

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Chelsea.Poole
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My #currentread is an #audiobook but having the print copy to go along with it helps quite a bit. I'm really enjoying the author's way of debunking commonly held beliefs about sex and ways to improve one's sex life. 🍑🍆

ErickaS_Flyleafunfurled Ive read some of this and found it fascinating! 4y
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Ekkross
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I love these too long, didn‘t read sections at the end of each chapter

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