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Toddlers Are A**holes
Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault | Bunmi Laditan
11 posts | 6 read | 1 reading | 8 to read
Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.
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lauren.lerner
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Morning read.

🙊📚🖍
#tuesdayreads #parenting #worldbookday

TheKidUpstairs I love Bunmi, she's great. 2mo
lauren.lerner I have been a fan of Bunmi for a while — I follow her on twitter and have missed her recently (but I think she was working on her upcoming book). @TheKidUpstairs 2mo
33 likes1 stack add2 comments
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GlassAsDiamonds
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Me: it‘s okay (parents need to take important phone call with moving company), I‘ll keep them alive.

I swear to god, 17 seconds later, Mr 2.5 was actively trying to stab Mr.3.5, who was in the box, with a lead pencil (note the stab marks above) 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️.

I am not cut out for toddlers.

ItsAngel 😂😂😂😂 I swear, toddlers are the worst!! I have a 2 and 4 year old (not really a toddler)...they are sweet one minute and the next are trying to main one another. 4mo
OrangeMooseReads Toddlers are not for the weak or faint of heart lol (edited) 4mo
readinginthedark Oh my gosh, yes! The worst part is that half the time they don't know they've done anything wrong, and the other half they know but play innocent! 🙈 4mo
See All 6 Comments
gradcat You‘re cracking me up 😂 4mo
Tamra Never a dull moment! 4mo
iread2much 😂😂😂😂 omg, this post is awesome. I am also not good with toddlers 4mo
33 likes6 comments
review
cmwilliamson316
Pickpick

Hilarious and much needed relief as I'm raising a toddler. Great unwind at the end of the day.

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Mandigolightly
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Parenting hack

DGRachel That sounds like my kind of green smoothie! 🤣🤣 8mo
TheBookAddict Now that green smoothie I can have everyday. 🤣🤣🤣 8mo
LoverofLit Love it! And that title is on point 👌 8mo
readinginthedark 😂❤ 8mo
96 likes3 stack adds5 comments
review
mydearwatson
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Pickpick

Oh my goodness. Bunmi Laditan is a genius.
#toddlers

Full review at https://mydearwatsonbooks.wordpress.com/2018/07/30/toddler-are-aholes/.

(pic from #goodreads)

review
winemom
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Pickpick

This is the gospel. As a first time mom of someone who‘s on the cusp of toddling, I identify heavily with this book. Bunmi is hilarious and not afraid to say that parenting sometimes just plain sucks.

Johanna414 So true! We just got a few little gifts for our 2 year old - give him a matchbox car and he‘s happy for hours. The grandparents don‘t have the same philosophy and I‘m pretty sure have gone waaaaay overboard... 1y
Alfoster 😂😂😂😂! 1y
TricksyTails 😂 I love it! Keepin' it real! 1y
16 likes1 stack add3 comments
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azulaco
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I am loving Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin, but one needs levity as well. Bunmi Laditan is freaking hilarious. I may need to buy all her books just to show my support. Her Twitter feed Honest Toddler is one of my favorites. 😂

10 likes1 stack add
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britt_brooke
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My futile attempt at reading on the floor. 😂

Megabooks 😂😂😂 2y
Born.A.Reader Oh good! It's not just mine who pretends I'm a human jungle gym! 😂😂 2y
Hollie Perfect tagged book! 2y
See All 19 Comments
britt_brooke @Born.A.Reader 😂 And why do they get crazier at bedtime?! Both of mine are now running around the house pretending to be flying lizards. 🤷🏼‍♀️ (edited) 2y
vivastory 😂😂 2y
britt_brooke @Hollie It's a really funny read, too! 😁 2y
LauraBeth 😂💕 you could morph it into a crossfit workout 2y
Avanders Lol: flying lizards 😄 2y
britt_brooke @LauraBeth 😂💪🏻 2y
BibliOphelia It looks like you live my life! 😂 2y
britt_brooke @BibliOphelia 😂 Happy I'm not alone! 2y
RealBooks4ever 🤣💜 2y
Magpiegem I've realised if I read on a kindle they don't realising I'm reading! Shhhhh 😊 2y
britt_brooke @Magpiegem I read on my kindle about 75% of the time, so the secret's already out, lol. 2y
readinginthedark Yes! Any time I lay down anywhere, I'm immediately furniture/playground! 2y
britt_brooke @readinginthedark Haha, yes - same here! 2y
readordierachel This is the cutest!! 2y
178 likes1 stack add19 comments
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Johanna414
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My living room, courtesy of a toddler play date...

Alfoster So cute! 2y
LeahBergen 😂 2y
19 likes2 comments
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Josie
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When toddlers attack. #RIPglasses #shedontcare

Cinfhen ???in my house it's called "fighting spirit" She's ADORABLE ? 2y
Foxyfictionista She really doesn't care! Tiny tyrant... 🤣 2y
Josie @Cinfhen hahahaha I'm going to have to start using that!! And thank you, she does make me smile. 2y
See All 22 Comments
Josie @Foxyfictionista she's such a tyrant. I had to go get my back up pair of glasses, and she's after those too!!! 2y
Foxyfictionista Oh dear... Hahaha!! Maybe you should think about getting contacts. 😃 2y
Donna_sBookMinute I've always been afraid of this . . . and earrings 2y
Lynnsoprano But she's sooo cute (spoken like the grandmother I am😎) 2y
Josie @Foxyfictionista I know! I've used contacts before and didn't love them. But I also didn't have a baby grabbing at my face all the time. It may be time to switch back over. 2y
Josie @Donna_sBookMinute I'm usually very careful with my glasses, but I just left them somewhere she could reach, and reach she did. 2y
Josie @Lynnsoprano hahaha between you and me, I wasn't really mad lol I had left them out, and I know better! She did look a little upset when she brought them to me, but then she plopped down in her chair and forgot all about it lol 2y
CouronneDhiver Oh no! #ParentProblems 👶🏽 2y
LeahBergen Her expression! 😂 She is sooo sweet! 2y
Josie @LeahBergen yeah, I think I'll hang on to her for awhile 😉 2y
LaurenAsh Just now approaching that stage...I can't wait! 😂 2y
SaraFair Hhmph! 2y
Josie @LaurenAsh it's exhausting and hilarious and MIND BOGGLING. But so worth it. Yesterday, Lilah just yelled at me all day. Then, last night, she had me laughing so hard I was crying. Good days and bad days lol 2y
Reviewsbylola My kids are drawn to my glasses like a moth to a flame. They will even snatch them from my face! 2y
Josie @Reviewsbylola oh yeah, Lilah loves to wait until I'm not paying attention. She just pounces on my face!! They've got guts, I'll give 'em that much. 😁😉 2y
Ruri_kaichou Yep. My oldest head-butted me while my glasses were on. I really thought she broke one or both but she didn't. Things to look forward to as they get older 😅 however, she is 3 and she actually felt a little bad for doing it, so there's that. 2y
Josie @Ruri_kaichou REMORSE!!! I can't wait for that! My little one is so mean sometimes lol 2y
Carissa-Green-Reads That pout! Perfected! 2y
Ruri_kaichou Haha! It takes a while; 3 had been a really trying age for us, but it will come. It's super slow going, but they are slowly becoming civilized individuals 😂 2y
113 likes22 comments
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Vexingcircumstance
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The human worm baby just head butted me in the nose. I saw stars. #ouch #babiesoflitsy #toddlersarejerks #parenting #kids