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I'm Afraid of Men
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
"Emotional and painful but also layered with humour, I'm Afraid of Men will widen your lens on gender and challenge you to do better. This challenge is a necessary one--one we must all take up. It is a gift to dive into Vivek's heart and mind." --Rupi Kaur, bestselling author of The Sun and Her Flowers and Milk and Honey A trans artist explores how masculinity was imposed on her as a boy and continues to haunt her as a girl--and how we might reimagine gender for the twenty-first century Vivek Shraya has reason to be afraid. Throughout her life she's endured acts of cruelty and aggression for being too feminine as a boy and not feminine enough as a girl. In order to survive childhood, she had to learn to convincingly perform masculinity. As an adult, she makes daily compromises to steel herself against everything from verbal attacks to heartbreak. Now, with raw honesty, Shraya delivers an important record of the cumulative damage caused by misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia, releasing trauma from a body that has always refused to assimilate. I'm Afraid of Men is a journey from camouflage to a riot of colour and a blueprint for how we might cherish all that makes us different and conquer all that makes us afraid.
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Lindy
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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Vivek Shraya in technicolor!

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Aaronlisa
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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Pickpick

I read this Mar 2 and gave it 4 ⭐️. It‘s a powerful read that managed to capture in less than 90 pages the issues with seeing gender as something that is binary and how masculinity, privilege and the binary are harmful. This is a must read for everyone.

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eringreeno
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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New books by powerful new voices. Already sunk my brain into “I‘m Afraid of Men” and, after letting that digest a bit, am looking forward to the next. Essential reading for everyone.

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BookishTrish
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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I‘ve been very keen to listen to this #audiobook since hearing the author speak so powerfully at #VWF2018

LA_Mead I have that one on my shelf right now! How is it? 1y
Zelma What a pretty view! 1y
BookishTrish @LA_Mead So good. It‘s so matter of fact and honest. Some passages are written in the second person - which I love ❤️ 1y
BookishTrish @zelma Thanks! We‘re lucky to have it! 1y
78 likes2 stack adds4 comments
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Redwritinghood
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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Pickpick

I have a lot of library books out right now, so I‘m trying to blow through a few of the shorter ones today. This slim volume is a longish essay about the author‘s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren‘t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling read nonetheless. 3.5⭐️

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CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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Pickpick

Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations and restrictions? What if you cherished us as archetypes of realized potential? What if you were to surrender to sublime possibility, yours and mine? Might you then free me at last of my fear and of your own?" #Audiobook #TransBooks #QueerBooks

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CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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I was so excited to see this #audiobook available through my library! It's so fabulous her work is reaching a wider audience. This is up next in my audiobook queue. #QueerBooks #TransBooks #AwesomeAudiobooka

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Lindy
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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I‘ve known Vivek since the 90s, when we worked at the same library branch (she was in high school then, working as a student page).

Megabooks Cool! 1y
readordierachel Very cool! 1y
batsy Oh, that's awesome! 1y
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LeahBergen So cool! 1y
BookishTrish She was a very strong panelist on This Writing Life. 1y
Lindy @BookishTrish That doesn‘t surprise me. 👍 1y
58 likes2 stack adds6 comments
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Lindy
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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Saw Vivek at Litfest in Edmonton earlier this evening. Always a treat. She was interviewed by Alexis Hillyard (of Stump Kitchen on YouTube). At one point, I noticed that Alexis had taken off her boots, so I watched to see how she would put them back on and tie them one-handed. (Answer: Easily. Like a magic trick.) Yesterday, Alexis and Vivek filmed a Stump Kitchen video together, making onion rings. I look forward to that episode.

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Bibliogeekery
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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Pickpick

This is a long essay written about masculinity from the perspective of a trans-woman. It's written in a very accessible way and would be an excellent entry point for people who would like to expand their understandings of gender and masculinity. I think Vivek continues to make important contributions to these discourses. #transbooks #queerbooks

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Lindy
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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Pickpick

Excellent extended essay about the harm that is done to an individual‘s psyche because of societal expectations in regards to gender. Shraya provides a blueprint for a new way of looking at masculinity and femininity.

Riveted_Reader_Melissa That sounds like good one. 1y
Lindy @Riveted_Reader_Melissa Yes, it is. 👍 1y
UrsulaMonarch This has been on my tbr for a while, but your review prompted me to actually place a hold at the library! Thanks! 1y
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Lindy @UrsulaMonarch My pleasure. 😇 1y
UrsulaMonarch And thanks also for the photo - I‘d only seen the from in my kindle edition! 13mo
61 likes3 stack adds6 comments
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amyf0x
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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Pickpick

A stunning personal essay about navigating the world and society as a trans woman.

Read September 20-21
Book 39/50

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ElvinaGB
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
Pickpick

5 stars! A must read. Beautifully written. I found myself rereading pages over and over.

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Lindy
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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I now understand that my sensitivity and emotions are not deplorable. As an artist, feeling deeply is not only my job, it‘s a blessing. Feelings are the fresh water I pull from when I create.

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Lindy
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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How cruel it is to have endured two decades of being punished for being too girly only to be told that I am now not girly enough.

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Lindy
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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Sexist comments, intimidation, groping, violating boundaries, and aggression are seen as merely “typical” for men. But “typical” is dangerously interchangeable with “acceptable.” “Boys will be boys,” after all.
If we want masculinity to be different, we must confront and tackle the baseline instead of longing for exceptions.

Soubhiville Yaaaassssss! Amen! 1y
Lindy @Soubhiville Reading this essay is an excellent complement to listening to the essays in 1y
Soubhiville Thanks @Lindy ! They‘re both on my radar now! 1y
Lindy @Soubhiville You‘re welcome 😇 1y
43 likes1 stack add4 comments
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Lindy
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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For the first time I‘ve allowed myself to imagine a future in which I don‘t eventually kill myself.

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Lindy
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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I pay attention to the app to see which direction the Uber will arrive from and I face the other way, so the driver won‘t be able to see me from afar and drive away, as some have done.
#trans

(Internet photo)

BookishTrish 😮 1y
Lindy @BookishTrish An aspect of non-gender-conformity reality that hadn‘t occurred to me. 1y
39 likes1 stack add2 comments
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xicanti
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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Pickpick

Sometimes you open your next nonfiction read just to take a peek and what you find is so personal and thoughtful and generous and true that you read the whole thing in one sitting and to hell with all your other obligations.

You should read this. Please.

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tholmz
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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Pickpick

Powerful.

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Erin01
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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26 likes1 stack add
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Erin01
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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ususally have to wait to read new releases but managed to place a hold on this one a while back & got at the top of the hold list. its short- just 42 pages- but loved her collection Even This Page is White & plan on reading it today
also my new magazine arrived yesterday & I'm excited to dive into it

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ardoomer
I'm Afraid of Men | Vivek Shraya
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Pickpick

You guys should seriously read this book. It‘s a smol but pacts a punch. So important and relatable. You can literally read it in an hour like a colleague did or over the course of a day (like me) because you need time to absorb Shraya‘s heartbreaking but eye opening words.