Litsy

Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype | Clarissa Pinkola Estes

In previous chapters we read about learning to trust ourselves, then this sentence appears! It is a terrifying perspective for those of us who have lived with domestic violence- but in a specific context it is most likely a vital truth. The context of fear, trust and safety- and how do we ever find it after the death of that experience? That is when we have to discern between fear because of danger vs fear because of trauma. Thoughts?

CaroPi, DebinHawaii, Cuilin, AmyG, kspenmoll, TheBookHippie, JenniferEgnor, Suet624, Deblovestoread, zezeki, BookwormAHN, PathfinderNicole, GingerAntics, ravenlee, CBee, dabbe, ElizaMarie, ImperfectCJ, nanuska_153, ncsufoxes, lil1inblue

Chrissyreadit In a slightly different context- have you ever been afraid of what being in a relationship would mean for you? 2w

Chrissyreadit Relationships become tricky for many reasons- but do mean that there is a joining by nature- that can make one stronger and safer- Has it ever been scary to transition in and/or out of relationships? 2w

Chrissyreadit I can honestly say that I have probably avoided some men I should have dated and dated some men I should have avoided… Now i am focusing on my relationship with myself. 2w

GingerAntics I was troubled by this. It felt like a complete 180. 2w

BookwormAHN I get the idea behind this statement but it just seems wrong. Relationships can be tricky but when something deep down tells you to run you run. And Chrissy good for you 💗 2w

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Chrissyreadit

Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype | Clarissa Pinkola Est�s Phd

Sedna is mentioned in the first part of this chapter so i thought i would share the Goddess card reflection of her I have. If you read it I would be curious to hear how it was received or impacted your thoughts in relation to this chapter and yourself.

AnnCrystal I love this! Sedna was one of the first I read about when I began researching my own Ancestral World.

My ancestors are from Arizona, grandma of my mom's mother.

But I consider the whole of the Americas as my Ancestral World.

This was fascinating for me. Not the tragic of the story, because is felt equal in the extraordinary elements to the tales I read from other “outside“ cultures. From Greece, Nordic, Egypt, Asian, etc.

Epic 👏🏼🤩👍🏼💝💝. (edited) 2w

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Chrissyreadit

Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype | Clarissa Pinkola Est�s Phd

My responses are leaving high school, endings of friendships, home the way i lived in it and going to college, then leaving college and going to work- then end of childhood and beginning of adulting…. and of course life after divorce - This cycle does play out in numerous ways through life experiences.

TheBookHippie I worked in locked units-I left it when my daughter was 3 -I just couldn‘t risk myself -I loved it so, but I switched to locked Alzheimer‘s units -at the time this was normal.. I did this for a long time but had to quit when pregnant with my son, when I switched over to education and reading literacy advocacy. All things that were bittersweet. 2w

GingerAntics The only thing this brought to mind to me was genuine childhood. When I hit puberty, a lot of my hopes were dashed… so it wasn‘t necessarily a happier/better beginning, but I think it‘s getting there for me. 2w

nanuska_153 I changed my speciality a couple times, I get the feeling that I need to learn something new from time to time and I switch.Currently trying to change from being the door that everyone knocks when they have a Property Law question to start from 0 in Criminal Law. It's always scary because I like to be considered an expert and it's tough to go through the stress of not knowing how to do your job,but if I feel I can't grow anymore I have to leave. 2w

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Chrissyreadit

Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype | Clarissa Pinkola Est�s Phd

This chapter was interesting- It seemed to have a significant overlap with parts work as well as shadow work. The part that gives up, the part that gets distracted, the part that perseveres… I can relate to all of it. The concept of shadow work is in accepting the parts of ourselves we are uncomfortable with. Through a somatic lens it‘s recognizing the body and brain want us to be safe. My ADHD brain is better suited to some tasks!

CaroPi, DebinHawaii, Cuilin, kspenmoll, TheBookHippie, JenniferEgnor, Deblovestoread, zezeki, BookwormAHN, PathfinderNicole, GingerAntics, ravenlee, dabbe, ElizaMarie, ImperfectCJ, nanuska_153, lil1inblue

Chrissyreadit I know there are times i‘ve had to be stern with myself, use timers and trackers as well as ask for help and grace. This activity is a great example! I love it- but reading, then writing questions all require my focus more than most tasks- and Sometimes it feels overwhelming- and i‘m easily distracted. But once i start i‘m all in!!! 3w

TheBookHippie No. And people get so upset that this is true of me 🫠😝😅🫣 … 3w

Cuilin Ugh ADHD here too. I go between hating this about myself and then other times completely just accepting it and going with the flow. (And if that is not an indicator of being ADHD, I don‘t know what is lol) but I‘m tired of carrying the shame and guilt. 3w

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kspenmoll Please do not,try not to feel shame, guilt. It‘s such a struggle,I know.My mom had our family very organized- school, homework, rotating work chart-I learned to be open about my ADD but it is easy at work as I work with spec ed students-also, much of my family is similar.The ability to hyper focus is a gift- losing things or leaving them behind is not! but the Tile app is my best friend for finding keys, wallet, even my kindle !!!! 3w

TheBookHippie @kspenmoll my daughter struggles too. 2w

TheBookHippie @Cuilin I think so many creative people have ADHD. It just makes you you … 2w

TheBookHippie @kspenmoll what is the tile app 2w

kspenmoll @TheBookHippie Tile has new name https://www.life360.com/tile-trackers/products/combo-packs 2w

kspenmoll @TheBookHippie I “lose” my phone all over the resource room, etc at work. I just hit the tile button attachment on my key chain. I have one stuck to my kindle, in my wallet, etc. they come in all sizes. Best Buy carries them I think as well as mail order. Not cheap but you can get replacement batteries for some. (edited) 2w

TheBookHippie @kspenmoll thanks!!! 2w

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Chrissyreadit

Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype | Clarissa Pinkola Est�s Phd

Sorry- I am definitely a week or so behind.
I do believe names are important- and are why people have nicknames, change their name, use a married name or keep their name from birth. I personally love hearing how people came by their names too. I think names may speak about who we are- there are people who shorten their name and people who use completed names- go by formal address or first names. It all helps us start the conversation.

CaroPi, DebinHawaii, Cuilin, AmyG, kspenmoll, TheBookHippie, Suet624, Deblovestoread, zezeki, BookwormAHN, PathfinderNicole, GingerAntics, ravenlee, CBee, dabbe, ElizaMarie, ImperfectCJ, nanuska_153, lil1inblue

Chrissyreadit It is also telling when people purposely use the wrong name or title. 3w

TheBookHippie @Chrissyreadit it‘s abusive when they refuse to use your name. 3w

TheBookHippie So what schedule should we use? It‘s chapter 5 for this current week yes? 3w

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Chrissyreadit @TheBookHippie yes i will work on questions for next week for chapter 5 3w

TheBookHippie @Chrissyreadit perfect! 3w

TheBookHippie Names have power. Especially for women. And the Ms Miss Mrs thing is a tool of the patriarchy. 3w

BookwormAHN @TheBookHippie I so agree. Also is it just me or is it weird when you get switched from a Miss to Ma'am by the people working at Walmart? 3w

dabbe I am soooooo behind! 😩 3w

ravenlee One of the things about my husband‘s family (him included) that has baffled me for 20 years is that they‘re weird about names. Hub‘s sister is rarely called by her name, just her first initial (which is mine, too, and confused me at first). The cat my MIL had when I met hubby, the cat who loved him and despised me, was never called by her name (Ivy), but was any number of insulting nicknames, including “GrayFat.” 👇🏻 3w

ravenlee Everything and everybody has some weird pseudonym, and it has taken me years to sort out who they‘re talking about. I still don‘t get some of them. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 3w

kspenmoll I am behind reading. What chapter are we on? Apologies everyone! Been in a reading slump. Oops just saw this week is ch.4 Despite not having read this ch. I do believe names have power. I was named for my paternal grandmother & I feel a kinship with her & her life story despite the fact she was dead before I was born. There are so many instances of names & the power they hold. (edited) 3w

TheBookHippie @BookwormAHN it‘s an insult! 3w

nanuska_153 I'm really behind with my reading for work reasons, but I do think names hold power and identity, that's why in concentration camps they switched their names for numbers. It's so alien to me also that some women change their surnames when married, it's not a thing in Spain so when I moved to Ireland it really shocked me.I read it is inherited from a time when women didn't have capacity so they went from being under the guardianship of the father⬇️ 2w

nanuska_153 to the husband. My surname is Armenian, my grandparents escaped during the genocide, so I can't imagine giving it up and erasing them and that part of me from history. It's part of who I am and where I came from, why would I change it for my husband's history? 2w

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GingerAntics

Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype | Clarissa Pinkola Est�s Phd

This sounds like what it feels like to have ADHD… but for everything. I wonder if that means ADHD people are never having deep spirituality or something. lol
#ClarissaPinkolaEstes #WomenWhoRunWithTheWolves @Chrissyreadit @CaroPi, @Cuilin, @TheBookHippie, @Deblovestoread, @zezeki, @BookwormAHN, @PathfinderNicole, @ravenlee, @dabbe, @ElizaMarie, @ImperfectCJ, @nanuska_153, @nosufoxes, @lil1inblue

Bookwomble ADHD can come in the flavour of intense focus that's hard to disengage from, so perhaps us ADHDers can enter altered states of consciousness more easily in certain circumstances 🤔 1mo

Cuilin @GingerAntics @Bookwomble I can certainly get into zen “flow” as an ADHDer. I just can‘t predict or schedule when it will happen. 1mo

Bookwomble @Cuilin Yep! 😏 1mo

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Deblovestoread As a mother who raised an ADHD son I can verify that if the activity was something he liked he could would be all in if the timing was right. Put a fishing pole in his hands it was the most zen thing I ever saw. 1mo

GingerAntics @Bookwomble @Cuilin @Deblovestoread I had forgotten the flow state we can slip into so well… good point. 1mo

Bookwomble @GingerAntics 😊🫂 1mo

dabbe @Bookwomble I see this emoji a lot, but I can't make out what it is with my old eyes. What is this? 🫂 1mo

Bookwomble @dabbe Two people hugging in a non-sexual, consensual and supportive fashion 😊 1mo

dabbe @Bookwomble I LOVE it! What's it called so I can find it? I've tried looking under “heart“, but it doesn't come up. 1mo

Bookwomble @dabbe Search emojis for "hug" ?? 4w

dabbe @Bookwomble Yay! Thank you! 🫂 4w

Chrissyreadit One of my favorite books on ADHD is ADHD 2.0 I know that there were so many things i could not understand about myself until the past few years and that book has been a great tool. Also Breathework. On a more personal thought- The co morbidity of ADHD and CPTSD would be someone who is always alert but unable to sink in for fear of losing alertness of environment. I think when we feel safe and interested magic can happen. 4w

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit I wasn‘t aware of the comorbidity between ADHD and CPTSD… but that makes SO much sense to me. I‘ll have to go look this up. 4w

Chrissyreadit @GingerAntics It‘s not that there is common comorbidity- it‘s the when there is co morbidity- yes look up!!! I could have a huge convo about ADHD- that i considere a superpower- until i became sick AND developed PTSD- everything became challenging…. 4w

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit oh, I‘ve had PTSD since my childhood. I just never thought of them together. 4w

Chrissyreadit @GingerAntics - that‘s why i was thinking you are not experiencing just ADHD- you have neurodivergence and trauma. It‘s a lot to look at- but most of all your body and brain is in a survival loop- and trauma can keep you emotionally responding in a way that made sense when you were actively living in trauma…. just stuff to explore- and i think you will find it good to explore and find strategies that make sense for you ❤️ 4w

GingerAntics @Chrissyreadit girl, you are speaking my language… though I may still be actively living in trauma. We‘ll see how much of a home health nurse I am come Tuesday. Sigh 4w

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kspenmoll

Women who Run with the Wolves: Contacting the Power of the Wild Woman | Clarissa Pinkola Est's

From ch. 3. Loved this chapter with its stories & lore. #wildwoman

Chrissyreadit

TheBookHippie My Bubbe told me Vasilisa stories . A beautiful picture book you may enjoy and is probably at your library

Vasilisa the Beautiful: A Russian Folktale

(edited) 1mo

kspenmoll @TheBookHippie Thank you! I will look for it! 1mo

AnnCrystal Wow! 💝💝💝. 1mo

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Chrissyreadit

Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype | Clarissa Pinkola Est�s Phd

I have been wondering why this subgenre is so popular. As someone who has been stalked and assaulted I have a hard time finding the romance in any of this- it lends more to horror for me (although i did think Hooked told a good story and was shocked i liked it) But when reading chapter 2 in the book I wonder if this is a different way to understand the dark man in our psyches. Or is this representing our Shadows and our own dark sides? I have

Chrissyreadit so many thoughts and hopes for discussion on this topic- What do these books heal in us? or What messages do you get from genres with more violence and/or taboo themes? How do you respond to taboo? Could that be a dark man in your life? 1mo

GingerAntics Yeah, I‘ve wondered that myself. I used to enjoy those books as a teen, until I was stalked, abused, etc. Now they just don‘t sit right with me. I‘ve always seen it as the predator trying to convince us that their harm is actually good/romantic. I find it troubling that more and more of this is written by women. 1mo

TheBookHippie @Chrissyreadit @GingerAntics interestingly I‘ve found unhealed women read these and healed women abhor them. Only reason I say this is it‘s how I feel and then I got into a discussion with some women and they said they read it for comfort because it was comforting. When they got to healing and therapy they no longer could read it. Interesting. I honestly don‘t know over all- that‘s a tiny group here at a women shelter book club. I personally ⬇️ 1mo

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TheBookHippie Don‘t read this type of book. I don‘t read certain subjects because I do not believe it‘s ethical and is sometimes theater trauma or voyeur trauma. No thanks. There are things I lived I care not to read about. It‘s not what I use reading for. I however have no issue with people who need it or want it. Personal choice is not my business. 🙃 1mo

GingerAntics @TheBookHippie that‘s a really valid point. If some people want to read it, like it, more power to them I guess. I still find it heartbreaking that falling for the predator is this massive trope. I mean, even Beauty and the Beast falls into this. We‘re selling it to little kids as normal. 1mo

TheBookHippie @GingerAntics I adored dark fairytales as a child and they were comforting because no happy ending and it was real. Like my life. Disney fairytales made me angry because I felt it was lying. It is probably why I adore Alice in Wonderland more than the others. I still love Dark FairyTales but now it‘s just nostalgia -look what saved me. 1mo

lil1inblue @TheBookHippie I tend to agree with you. I don't find an overall value in this type of book, and it does feel voyeuristic. Not gonna judge others for reading it, but it's not for me. 🎯 1mo

BookwormAHN I don't know, I read Anne Rice's Beauty novels as a teenager and they really freaked me out. Having said that Haunting Adeline is on my tbr. I think it just depends on the story and my mood 🤷🏼‍♀️ 1mo

ravenlee I wonder if some of the appeal of reading this is that, at any point, you can put it down. It‘s a small power, but sometimes that‘s all you‘ve got. Maybe the glimpse into the male motivation validates something for some readers (largely the ones who think rape is about sex rather than power - I had someone explain rape fantasy to me as “making a man so wild he can‘t overcome his desire for me” 🤢). 1mo

GingerAntics @ravenlee 🤮 gross! I don‘t mind a mutual chasing fantasy, where a couple who have developed a relationship and trust have this shared fantasy of chasing and catching and whatever… because it‘s mutual and it‘s a good time for all. I just don‘t understand rape fantasies, though. Just, gross. It seriously sounds like something a man made up and convinced some women they actually had. 1mo

GingerAntics @TheBookHippie I like original fairytales too. They are more about teaching kids about life and reality than this Disney crap. I loved Disney movies as a kid, but mostly for the music. If it‘s a musical, I‘ll watch just about anything. lol 1mo

TheBookHippie @ravenlee controlling the narrative is big. Rape is about power and control. So they are controlling at what they can take in is plausible. Uncontrollable desire is a myth. Insecure women fall for it everyday … 1mo

AmyG I am always fascinated by people who do things I‘d never dream of doing. What compels them. It‘s all about understanding why. @ravenlee Yes…understanding the motivation. But I don‘t read these either or don‘t intentionally read them or even like them. (edited) 1mo

AnnCrystal This is an incredible thread to read through.

Personally I can't read stories or watch movies with this kind of romance...well, too much gore or sex just gets annoying anyway...but painting this kind of sinister romance seems dangerous.

I like a good beauty and the beast story, there's a message there. There's more to a person besides their “good“ or “bad“ looks.

But respect and trust in a relationship should be things that are highlighted. 👇 1mo

AnnCrystal I haven't read these titles, but I have had the opportunity to buy each of these books. Thankfully I researched beforehand or read the book's “warning.“

I have accidentally read books like these. If too terrible, they usually get donated, unfinished. Otherwise I skip along.

I feel that stories like these might make a young girl believe that this kind of disrespect is ok, natural, acceptable.

👇🏼

1mo

AnnCrystal In a world with so many predators and bullies, we need stories that teach our young girls what respect means.

I believe there are many of us who are looking warriors, and so many mistake cruelty for strength... (edited) 1mo

ElizaMarie So, I am behind on the #WildWomenReading, so I am going to answer this (but not using the current reading to guide my discussion). I have been stalked/beaten/tortured/sexually assaulted AND I have read these types of books (only Lights Out on this list). I don't know why I do. I don't know if its a feeling of control. Like I can read about these things, and be fully “safe“. I watch documentaries about DV, watch Law & Order SVU, podcast truecrime ⬇ 1mo

ElizaMarie And yet, when I feel unsafe or triggered. I can use my coping skills, or totally avoid/DNF/quit the subject. I don't know if it's a test of my boundaries and my feelings of safety, or what it is. I am currently reading this one and am very much struggling with it. He is a stalker/user/rapist. I am more than likely going to DNF it. Some of these dark “romances“ are about stalking and/or coercion, but they try to pretend the woman finds it ⬇ (edited) 1mo

ElizaMarie desirable. Which helps me not think of it as “rape“ even though the parallels are there. 1mo

ElizaMarie @ravenlee I answered this, then went back and read everyone's comments - I think that's what it does for me. I can put it down. I can choose, where in the past, that choice was taken from me. 1mo

ElizaMarie @AnnCrystal I agree with the concern of having young girls feel this type of male attention is “normal“ or should be “sought“. I, too, worry about what we teach children (both boys and girls) about consent, respect, kindness, and general human-ness.

I don't know how old. You are, but have you seen stories about how we as a society talked about women's bodies in the 90s? That was my teenage years and deeply ingrained into my psyche. 1mo

AnnCrystal @ElizaMarie 💝🫂💝 the 90s were my childhood years.

That's true, we need to teach the boys too. We need to encourage these important teachings into our children daily lives.

For one of the books I accidentally read recently, I went researching about it after and saw a review from a young woman. She said it had been the very first book she ever read and believed that the abuse in the book was just how romance was, normal. 1mo

AnnCrystal @ElizaMarie that review has really remain with me. The same reviewer stated that she has now read other books, and has come to realize her mistake. But her words spoke volume.

You're right. I believe so much more work needs to be done to educate our children on what a healthy relationship truly is...

💝🫂💝. 1mo

ElizaMarie @AnnCrystal wow that review is so powerfully heartbreaking. I can see why it stuck. (Thanks for sharing that with me) 1mo

AnnCrystal @ElizaMarie 🥲👌🏼💝🫂💝. 1mo

Chrissyreadit @ElizaMarie @AnnCrystal One thing i find interesting is that sex in the books i grew up reading was always focused on male pleasure or denegrating women… or that women are left… or get pregnant and left- We really did not have any sex positive stuff- Then i remember Delta of Venus…. written by Anais Nin and very rough for women…. 1mo

AnnCrystal @Chrissyreadit 📚🥺📚 Terrible truth. I will search about Anais Nin 😉👍🏼📚💝.

Most of the books that seem easiest to run across are usually the ones showcasing abuse and bullying as romance. It enrages me that it seems so difficult to find romance stories that depict good, well structured relationships.

Truthfully, I'm not much of a romance reader, I prefer love stories to that are woven into the background of the main story events. 1mo

AnnCrystal @ElizaMarie I checked my notes. The book I was referring to was:

Twisted love by Ana Huang, the review had been on Goodreads.

Just wanted to make a reference note.

📚💝📚. 1mo

ElizaMarie @AnnCrystal ❤️❤️❤️❤️ 1mo

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