The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. Indifference emotionally, indifference physically.
You don't have, any more, a sanctuary in kindness and good deeds and surrender; you're changing, you can feel the souring. A thrill plumes through you when couples split, a feeling that order's restored, that it's the way we're all meant to be, alone.
What have you become? Unhinged, no longer a doormat, just like everyone else?
"'Poor greenheads', wrote the Puritan Daniel Rogers of those who married purely for love when a year or two had passed and they had skimmed the cream of their marriage, they would soon envy the good fortune of those whose union was built on stronger foundations."
"She [Lettice Morrison] was an exceptional character, not only for her beauty, but also for a genuine love of study, which marked her out from most girls of her time: 'oft-times at a book in her Closet when she was thought to be in bed'."
... Frances Purbeck, the wife sought 'for wealth', and Robert Howard, who sought her for love.
"Grandmother Kane and Grandmother Cabot said they would never travel in such an infernal contraption, and they never did, although many years later Grandmother Kane was driven to her funeral in a motor car, but was not informed of that fact."
"Your head empties of everything else," he went on. "Whole hours go by. Without moving you wander through lands that you imagine you can actually see, and entwined with the story your mind gets involved with the detailed descriptions, or follows the twists and turns of adventures. It mingles with the characters; it seems as if it is your own heart that beats beneath their clothes."
"Before she got married she had believed she was in love. But when the happiness that should have come from this love didn't materialize, she thought she had made a mistake. And so Emma tried to understand exactly what was meant in real life by the words bliss, passion and rapture, which had always sounded so beautiful in books."
Murder, corruption, infidelity, abuse... no. There's something more. Something true in it. It's honest. It's sophisticated. It is what I love.
There was a lot of action in it. It was real action. Not the one making your heart pound, but one to make you question yourself.