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And Now We Have Everything
And Now We Have Everything: On Motherhood Before I Was Ready | Meaghan O'Connell
38 posts | 33 read | 59 to read
Operating Instructions for the Millennial set: a fiercely honest account of becoming a mother before feeling like a grown up. Meaghan O'Connell always felt totally alienated by the cutesy, sanctimonious, sentimental tone of most writing about motherhood. After getting accidentally pregnant in her twenties, she realized that the book she needed - a brutally honest, agenda-less take on the emotional and existential impact of motherhood - didn't exist. So she decided to write it herself. And Now We Have Everything is O'Connell's brave exploration of transitioning into motherhood as a fledgling young adult. With her dark humor and hair-trigger B.S. detector, O'Connell addresses the pervasive imposter syndrome that comes with unplanned pregnancy, the second adolescence of a changing postpartum body, the problem of sex post-baby, the weird push to make "mom friends," and the fascinating strangeness of stepping into a new, not-yet-comfortable identity. Most unforgettably, O'Connell brings us into the delivery room as no writer has before, rendering childbirth in all its feverish gore and glory, and shattering the fantasies of a "magical" or "natural" experience that warp our expectations and erode maternal self-esteem. Channeling fears and anxieties that are, shockingly, still taboo and often unspoken, And Now We Have Everything is an unflinchingly frank, funny, and intimate motherhood story for our times, about needing to have a baby in order to stop being one yourself.
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nomadreader
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Pulled this from the "How have I not made time for this yet?" pile.

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ClairesReads
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Panpan

Let's just say, this fundamentally wasn't for me. I was looking for some kind of recognisable millennial anxiety about what it means to be an adult in the world, doing adult things, when you feel far from it. Although I don't think this memoir needed to speak for all experiences, her story was so far removed from some very real, practical, and widely experienced challenges, and in the end I couldn't move past the bourgeois concerns.

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ClairesReads
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On the audios again

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Notafraidofwords
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Pickpick

This is a look at the author‘s experience as a new mom. I found it compelling, especially the short paragraphs that resembled the way new experiences feel - episodic. Motherhood often feels contradictory and sometimes when you think you have pinned down your thoughts, they change. I think this book illustrates that feeling very well.

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cariashley
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Pickpick

Phew. Ok. This was a gut punch, a wrenchingly honest, brave, naked and raw account of pregnancy and early motherhood. I don‘t have kids and have been on the fence about it for years, but as I near my late 30s and the clock keeps ticking, candid books like this are invaluable to me. She narrates the audiobook excellently, with emotion just glimmering below the surface.

8little_paws Oof. I hear this. I've been on the fence to read this but I'm not sure if it'll be too much for me 10mo
cariashley @8little_paws it‘s a lot. Especially the birth part. But I couldn‘t put it down/stop listening. 10mo
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Krose1
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Pickpick

I was honestly annoyed through most of the first chapter, but then I loved it. I‘m not a mom, but I really enjoyed this. I laughed out loud often and also felt so sad for her. Such a great book!

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CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
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Pickpick

I really enjoyed this #memoir #audiobook about millenial motherhood. I loved how she didn't shy away from complex, contradictory, and negative aspects of pregnancy, birth, and being a new mom. It's brutally honest and vulnerable but not without humour. She writes:"What if everyone worried less about giving women a bad impression of motherhood?"; this is certainly what she does. Only complaint: I wished she had dug a bit deeper into certain issues.

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AvidReader25
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Pickpick

A brutally honest memoir about pregnancy, birth & postpartum. It‘s hard to read while pregnant, but also refreshing to read something so real. With my first pregnancy I didn‘t experience everything the author did, but I could certainly relate to much of what she felt. It‘s such an overwhelming thing to carry, birth, and care for a new life.

“This pregnancy makes me feel trapped sometimes, but other times I think, you‘ll never be this free again.”

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Jocelyn73c
Pickpick

This book was everything I was hoping for: one woman's brutally honest account of pregnancy, birth, and new motherhood. I'm truly grateful it exists!

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kstadt929
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Pickpick

Wow. This book! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
I loved it and could not put it down! ❤️
Meaghan writes all her raw feelings, struggles and thoughts about pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood. I was so completely into this book and appreciated her honest story.
It does, however, make me dread childbirth when the day comes when my husband and I start our family 😱
I think it is a must read for moms/moms to be!

readingjedi I'm intrigued by this title. I was the most ready mother ever ... until I actually gave birth and realised no mother had ever been less ready. Ironically every other mother I discussed this with felt the same! 1y
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kstadt929
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I secretly love when books talk about people working in/going to bookstores 📚

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kstadt929
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Aaaand let‘s add a comfy blanket to the mix ❤️

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kstadt929
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✔️ New electric fireplace ✔️ New comfy socks ✔️ Starting a new book ✔️ Starting the weekend at the cabin

Life is good! 😍

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kstadt929
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One of our local shops has their holiday stuff out...and I had to bring these gnomes home with me!!! I think they are excited I‘m going to start this library book tonight! #AndNowWeHaveEverything

TheWordJar Those are fantastic!! 1y
BethM Those are great! 1y
Craftylikefox I am in love with those adorable gnomes! 1y
Kayla.Adriena So cute 1y
26 likes4 comments
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BookAlongBlog
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Pickpick

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟/5 for this Candid and Vivid memoir on becoming a mother for the first time. This was one of my anticipated reads of 2018 and it didnt disappoint!
#bookreview #memoir

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ephemeralwaltz
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Hi guys! Time to play catch up on #SeptemberDanes. Here are 2 books regarding motherhood that I have on my TBR, because I feel like mothers are the most fit for the 23rd prompt, #WarriorWorrier(s)! Thanks Moms everywhere for fighting, sorry for worrying you ❤️

@Kalalalatja @Cinfhen

Kalalalatja Great take on the prompt, and the books sound good! 👏👏👏 1y
Cinfhen So much truth ❣️❣️❣️❣️yay, Moms 🙌🏻 1y
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Divyaslesha
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Pickpick

A great book which serves the dual purpose of confirming all my worst fears about having a child and, at the same, also opened my eyes the whole experience. The writer minces no words in detailing her experience of childbirth, postpartum depression and being the only mother among her peers. Reading this was an eye opening experience in several ways.

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RedbagReadbooks
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Mehso-so

2.5/5👶🏻. I was disconnected with her first experience being a mother. I do not find New York mid-twenties Mom problems up my alley. The second half discussing post-baby sexual problems and going back to work seemed more realistic. I had my first child at 19,worked fast food, and lived in a trailer. Now I have three children and a masters degree. I struggle to relate with mothers that have their first child at 27 and have already finished college

RedbagReadbooks This is strictly my malfunction. 1y
rather_be_reading cool bookmark 1y
AiBBot I hear you. 1y
30 likes3 comments
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Rose2
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UrsulaMonarch
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Pickpick

I‘m glad I stuck with this, as I found everything from the birth story onward excellent. Some descriptions gave me insight into experiences very different from my own, while others were strikingly familiar. However, the beginning of the book, focusing on pregnancy, did not resonate with me.

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BooksForEmpathy
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Pickpick

Started + finished on our way up to Tahoe. I continue to be drawn to learning about motherhood; to the feeling of not knowing what you want and the pressure to make a decision or about motherhood‘s impact on a person and the grief over losing precious parts of yourself.

Meaghan O‘Connell‘s writing is direct + relatable + in perfect moments our souls meet.

“It occurs to me that I had this baby just to feel this free when I‘m away from him.”

saresmoore Yeah. 2y
mauveandrosysky Have you read this one? It‘s definitely one of the next up for me because I loved her other book. 2y
cariashley I‘m interested in this one too, but a little squeamish from some reviews saying it includes lots of gory pregnancy/birth details! 2y
BooksForEmpathy @mauveandrosysky Yes!! I have it prominently displayed on my bookshelf. It is the closest one to the way I feel sometimes. I loved it. What‘s her other one you loved??? (edited) 2y
8little_paws Dude I could have written this post myself!!! 2y
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Chelsea.Poole
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Pickpick

I loved this book. It was like I wrote it myself. As a mother of two young sons, (pictured here on my shelf at work♥️) I can relate to the pressures, insecurities, and overwhelming feelings the author presents. She is, without a doubt, brave to share her honest feelings when there‘s so much judgement of mothers in our culture. There are a few feelings I didn‘t connect with completely (brining a baby home to a big city, daycare, etc.) Recommended🌟

Thousand-Lives Your boys are cuties! 2y
emilyhaldi I'm so interested in reading this book... But keeping it mind for the future when I (hopefully) am a mother 😊 2y
Chelsea.Poole @Thousand-Lives thank you!! They are more grown now, I need to update my work pictures. 😊 2y
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Chelsea.Poole @emilyhaldi You should read it now! I found myself wishing it had been around before I had kids! I think it would prepare you well for pregnancy, birth and what comes after 😊 2y
emilyhaldi Oooohh good advice!! Maybe I will then 😄 2y
ErinGoBragh1011 Omg would you look at those cheeks! He is soooooo cute! I love fat chunky babies. 2y
Chelsea.Poole @ErinGoBragh1011 thank you! They were chunky babes :) have lost that baby fat now! 2y
83 likes5 stack adds7 comments
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Chelsea.Poole
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Kidney stones!! I have them and the pain can be unbearable 😖 I finally have it under control for the time being. Having some lunch to have something on my stomach for the pills.
Just starting this memoir about motherhood and let me tell you, the truth in these pages!! Loving it already. And loving my first caprese sandwich of the summer 😋🍅

LiteraryinLititz Noooo! I‘m so sorry you‘re dealing with that. Hope it‘s resolved soon! 2y
Lauram That sandwich looks amazing. I‘m sorry about your kidney stones. 2y
kstadt929 Feel better soon! That sandwich looks amazing. I‘ve heard that book is great! Enjoy!! 2y
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wanderinglynn Oh no! That‘s no fun. Sorry you‘re having to deal with that! 😕 2y
MallenNC Feel better! 2y
CouronneDhiver Thinking of you. 2y
minkyb I have had 2 kidney stone episodes. Not fun. Hope they pass. 2y
UwannaPublishme Oh my! Hope you're feeling better. 🤗❤️ 2y
Jas16 Oh no! I am so sorry. Hope they pass soon 2y
Chelsea.Poole @LiteraryinLititz @lauram @kstadt929 @wanderinglynn @MallenNC @CouronneDhiver @UwannaPublishme @Jas16 thanks all!! I think I‘m on the other side of it now, thank goodness! 😌 very tender but the horrible pain has passed. 2y
Chelsea.Poole @minkyb Sorry you deal with stones too. 😔 It‘s got to be one of the worst issues to deal with. I‘ve had 3 other episodes in the past. This one has been the quickest and easiest to deal with. 2y
erzascarletbookgasm Oh dear, hope they‘ll pass soon. Feel better. 2y
Dragon Kidney stones are terrible! I hope they pass and you feel better soon ! 💐 2y
ErinGoBragh1011 I hope you get well soon. My mother just got out of the hospital with them. She had a stent because it was so severe. She had natural child birth twice and she said the stones were way worse. I thankfully haven't had them but I can only imagine. Get well soon 💗 2y
Chelsea.Poole @erzascarletbookgasm @dragon thank you both!! I‘m better but not 100% just yet. Thanks for the well wishes 😊 (edited) 2y
Chelsea.Poole @ErinGoBragh1011 oh that‘s horrible! So sorry your mother deals with this curse as well. Was this her first episode? I‘ve also given birth twice. Both are quite painful but at least when you go through the pain of labor, you get to have a sweet little baby at the end of it! Kidney stone pain is not as fruitful 😂 2y
ErinGoBragh1011 @Chelsea.Poole lol true. If only something as good came out of the stones. Yes, it was her first one. I hope you get well soon. 2y
99 likes1 stack add17 comments
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ReadingEnvy
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Books read in July!
Total Books Read in July - 18
Five-star reads - 3
Pages Read - 4992
Man Booker Prize nominees or winners - 3
Review copies - 7
Print - 6
eBook - 9
Audio - 3
http://readingenvy.blogspot.com/2018/07/books-read-july-2018-174-191.html

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ReadingEnvy
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Pickpick

Meaghan O'Connell writes honestly about pregnancy, birth, and motherhood, including all the physical challenges and how relationships change after you become a mother, no matter what your intentions and beliefs may have been. I think I would have appreciated more reflection and time passing but feel like that might have negatively impacted the feeling of immediacy in her experience.

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kdwinchester
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Pickpick

#ReadingWomenMonth • Day 10 • Pink Cover

Love this take on pregnancy, birth, and motherhood from a woman of my generation. It‘s such a realistic perspective on the topic.

Thanks to @thebookcorgi for this lovely photo bomb. 😆

ReadZenRites 🐾🐾💗 2y
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Rose2
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Just started reading this. Loving it so far!

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dixi_e
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I love reading memoirs and thinking “YES!” This is so true but why?? (And I say that as a woman who had kids because her [then] partner did).

tournevis It's only true because the voices of those women who say "Oh! Hell! No!" are essentially silenced and assumed not to exist. 2y
dixi_e @tournevis No, i don‘t think that‘s what this is about. It‘s about woman not being able to express their desire for a child (to a man) because then they will be perceived as desperate. And no one wants to be seen as desperate, even though many people search for a partner in order to have children... #catch22 Plus, who listens to a man interested in having kids and thinks “Wow. I‘ll stay away from him. He sounds desperate”? (edited) 2y
tournevis @dixi_e That may be it too. I think they are not mutually exclusive. 2y
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dixi_e @tournevis I think both points exist but not in this context. This was about modern woman and ambition and wanting ‘things‘ and futures but how ‘we‘re‘ not suppose to confess to wanting to disrupt that all with pregnancy and childbirth. I will confess I wish these conversations had been more prominent when I was thinking of baby making (and that I knew now what I didn‘t know then 😬). 2y
tournevis @dixi_e *nods* 2y
10 likes6 comments
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dixi_e
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Moving into this. #currentlyreading

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BookishShelly
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Pickpick

This is an excellent book. I relate to much of it and highly recommend it. This is one book that lives up to the buzz. 5⭐️

Soubhiville That sounds like a good premise for a book! 2y
saresmoore Well, I think I‘ll be reading this! 2y
Nute I‘ve never heard of this book or the author, but I am so intrigued. 2y
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sixminutesforme
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Pickpick

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This was a short but compelling memoir that in many ways seeks to dispel myths that motherhood is all sunshine and roses. I really enjoyed it and found it utterly compelling (full review up on the blog - www.sixminutesforme.com) // Thanks to @LittleBrownBooks for the review copy in exchange for an honest review.

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thereadingwomen
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🎉 NEW INTERVIEW 🎉⠀
We were delighted to get to talk to Meaghan O'Connell about her book AND NOW WE HAVE EVERYTHING: ON MOTHERHOOD BEFORE I WAS READY. Pregnancy and motherhood look differently for everyone and in her story Meaghan explores the middle range of people who had not so great experiences but aren't sure how to talk about them. ⠀
You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or find it on our website.

TheBookDream Just started this book. 1y
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Allietaylor16
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Enjoying this one so far!

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Rcoco
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Mehso-so

O‘Connell gave voice to a lot of familiar feelings....that motherhood can feel oppressive...that before the baby is born many women actually believe the baby is just going to fit in your current life when actually your life changes immensely...and that having a C-section feels sooooo weird! I was nodding along with so many of her observations. And reviewing a memoir is very hard, because her experiences are just that.

Rcoco But I feel compelled to add something to my review, which is pay attention to the subtitle “on motherhood before I was ready”. You have a clue that the pregnancy wasn‘t planned. And while I don‘t consider myself particularly sensitive, let‘s just say trigger warning for anyone who has ever dealt with infertility issues. Her flippancy in the beginning was like a knife in my chest. Who am I to say, and yet that was my experience reading this. (edited) 2y
38 likes1 comment
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MelodySchreiber
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Pickpick

This book was a revelation. Best book I've read this year, and definitely the truest story about becoming a mother I've encountered yet. My full review will be up on The Millions soon! @LittleBrownBooks

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MelodySchreiber
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This is exactly how I felt!

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NoFrigateLikeABook
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Pickpick

I loved AND NOW WE HAVE EVERYTHING, and I think you‘ll love it, too. It‘s a quick, beautiful read about the vulnerability inherent in desiring motherhood, how there‘s no “right time.” I can‘t wait to see what Meaghan writes next.

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Liberty
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Day 13 of the @bookriot #Riotgrams Challenge: pink, red, and white! 💕♥️💀

LitLogophile Beautiful stack😍 2y
Cathythoughts Very pretty 💓 2y
Dolly Baby Monkey, Private Eye ????????????😂 2y
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PenguinInFlight I‘m so jealous you have The Flight Attendant! 😍😍😍❤️ 2y
Wife Nice!💗 2y
EllieDottie I love that cannibalism is right in the middle of this stack!! 2y
MissAimz_55 Wow beautiful stack! 2y
173 likes1 stack add7 comments