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The Four Tendencies
The Four Tendencies: The Surprising Truth about the Hidden Personality Types That Drive Everything We Do | Gretchen Rubin
Bestselling author Gretchen Rubin (The Happiness Project; Better Than Before) reveals the surprising truth about the four hidden personality types that drive everything we do. Learn how to understand yourself better--and also how to influence others more effectively.
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GlassAsDiamonds
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Pickpick

It‘s a good book and a useful addition to Rubin‘s canon but brutally, I finished it because I got sick of seeing this on my “Currently Reading” stack 😂🤦🏻‍♀️😂.

If you‘re one of her podcast listeners, and I am, the book feels like a lot of repetition with limited new material but I still think there‘s value in knowing how people, including ones self, respond to Inner and Outer Expectations and it‘s readable, well written and well collated.

28 likes1 stack add
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annahenke
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Liking this so far. I'm a sucker for personality stuff and I love Gretchen!

Blaire I haven‘t read this one but am a regular podcast listener. Live happier in Hollywood too. I‘m an upholder. What are you? 5mo
annahenke @Blaire I used to think I was an obliger but now I think I'm a questioner. 5mo
GlassAsDiamonds I‘m struggling with this one - love the podcast and the other books but this seems so much to re-hash the podcast ...? Might need to double down 4mo
71 likes3 stack adds3 comments
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AileenRR
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Pickpick

I liked it, but I think I would have liked it more if I didn‘t already get the bulk of the information from her Happier podcast.

GlassAsDiamonds I‘m currently feeling this! Massive fan of hers but I‘m tempted to DNF just because it all seems like info I already have from the podcast..? 4mo
AileenRR @GlassAsDiamonds You totally won‘t be missing anything if you don‘t finish. I listened to the audiobook and ended up spacing out a lot because I felt like I already knew a lot of it. 4mo
GlassAsDiamonds @AileenRR good to know, thanks!! I am sorely tempted!!! 4mo
7 likes3 comments
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BritanyA
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Pickpick

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️: Great overview of how to handle inner and outer expectations. I‘m an Obliger- what are you?

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Erin.Elizabeth10
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Pickpick

This was a really interesting personality profile book! I liked it because it was simple and informative. And insightful! I found the author to repeat herself fairly often, but overall I liked this book a lot.

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Krisjericho
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Pickpick

Some good insights into why people act they way they do. It helped me to understand a bit better not just that other people don‘t always think the same way that I do, but how they do think. I found it helpful, if not earth-shattering. I will check out some of Rubin‘s other work.

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Lola
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I tracked Fika down at a library branch not too far from my office after discovering it here on Litsy yesterday. The others were in the new book section, plus I grabbed the One Book One Chicago selection. Re the Backman-I gave Beartown two stars and yet I picked up the sequel 🤔 I wonder why....I am a Questioner according to Gretchen Ruben‘s Four Tendencies so maybe I‘m questioning why I don‘t feel the Backman love that so many other do...🙃

Cinfhen I‘m curious to see how you‘ll like 14mo
Lola @Cinfhen Did you read them both? What were your thoughts? 14mo
Cinfhen I gave it 2 stars although BearTown was a 4 Star read for me 14mo
See All 10 Comments
Cinfhen I didn‘t think a sequel was necessary 14mo
Cinfhen I didn‘t think it added any value or worth to the original story and this time around the book felt “played” maybe overly manipulated?!?! It‘s an unpopular opinion so I‘m interested to see what u think 14mo
Lola @Cinfhen Very interesting as played and overly manipulated is EXACTLY how I felt about 14mo
Cinfhen Yup! I could see that about BearTown but I felt like it was a one time “gimmick” but then Us Against You was written 😬🙄😜 14mo
Lola @Cinfhen I hear ya. I felt that way about the sequel to the tagged book here-I really felt the story was told and done and I wished the author had left it alone 14mo
WhatDeeReads I‘m obsessed with Gretchen Rubin. 14mo
Lola @WhatDeeReads I loved the fact that she nailed me in this book. Whenever I do personality tests, I always seem to fall into more than one type. 14mo
41 likes10 comments
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Xeroaa13
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I love Harry Potter, but fictional characters cannot be stated as valid examples for thesis in real-life psychology studies and books!

knittedgnome Haha! But why?!? Lol 1y
15 likes1 stack add1 comment
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Xeroaa13
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I am so sorry about this sentence I am casting, this was a book I so much anticipated reading and... It turned out to be such a disappointment! I don't disagree with the thesis, but the writing style (too much self-centred and enthusiastic) and the lack of data are preventing me from liking this book.

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Bibliotini
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It all makes sense now.

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Morr_Books
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Pickpick

After reading Anne Bogel's "Reading People" last year, I have found that learning about different personalities fascinating. This tagged book really helped me pinpoint my personality as well as my spouse's. Once you understand personalities, it can help you in your own life and how you interact with others. I am an upholder btw. I have learned a bit thru this book on how to deal with my obliger spouse as well. Enjoyed it a lot!

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Kelly
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I immediately responded with "Can that be right?" So I guess it is ?

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Kelly
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My plans for this afternoon.

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Jeanne_S
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Pickpick

Skimmed chunks. Interesting framework.

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The_Real_Nani
Bailedbailed

DNF!! It wasn‘t bad or anything. I just couldn‘t focus...

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Deborah42
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Pickpick

Rubin outlines four basic personality types based on how each type deals with expectations—both inner and outer. Having some insight into these types can help us cultivate better relationships with ourselves and others.

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Deborah42

“As always, when we recognize a Tendency, we can communicate more effectively with a particular person. No matter how much love we feel, if we don‘t understand how to reach someone, our most well-intentioned words and actions can go astray.”

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Deborah42
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By contrast, OBLIGER/Rebels chafe more under external expectations and feel more resentful about others‘ demands. Like Rebels, they often feel pushed around, and they find it hard to count on themselves, and they react against any sense of coercion. Their Obligerness means that they find it hard to say no, but then they‘re likely to feel resentful and burned out and therefore more likely to show Obliger-rebellion.

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TrishKoz
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Really looking forward to this book as I love her blog. I'm a Questioner fyi 😁

1 like1 stack add
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thebluestocking
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Pickpick

It‘s always interesting to examine human nature. I enjoyed learning more about this framework formed by how and why we handle inner and outer expectations. I learned more about myself and how to make subtle changes to make things better for myself and in my relationships.

I‘m an Obliger leaning toward Upholder, by the way. What are you? #thefourtendencies

StephanieGeiser Her podcast is great too! I definitely recommend it. She talks a lot about the four tendencies there and real world examples of them in action. 2y
GlassAsDiamonds Upholder 😊 (& I agree @StephanieGeiser - love her podcast!). 2y
thebluestocking @GlassAsDiamonds @StephanieGeiser I like her podcast too, though I tend to dip in and out of it! 2y
GlassAsDiamonds @thebluestocking me too - currently using all the back episodes as a workout pairing to get myself back into working out 😊😊😊😊 2y
28 likes2 stack adds4 comments
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alvingregorio
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Pickpick

Every so often a self-help/nonfic framework comes in and changes the game. Mars/Venus, 10k hours, 7 habits, etc.. I'm adding this one on my list. The simplicity of the model makes it accessible and digestible and can instantly switch your perspective on yourself and others.

RaimeyGallant I think I'm in the red circle. 2y
alvingregorio You REBEL! 2y
17 likes2 comments
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alvingregorio
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Anyone else read this? Which tendency are you?
Surprise, surprise...I'm a Questioner!

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rachellayown
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I really enjoy Gretchen Rubin‘s writing and thought this book was an interesting read. I didn‘t completely buy into it (I don‘t think everyone necessarily fits into these categories) but a lot really resonated with me.

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Redwritinghood
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Pickpick

This book explores her concepts of the four tendencies even further than in Better than Before. Where Better than Before focused on how to use knowledge of your tendency to meet goals, this book focuses more on how to deal with a child, partner, boss or employee, or patient of each tendency type. It explains how to motivate or manage each type. Interesting stuff.

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The_Real_Nani
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I guess I‘m on a self-help kick now. Finished Year of Yes, and instead of going back to the two other books I have in progress, I took this one off my TBR shelf.

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nickimags
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Yay can't wait to start on my new Gretchen Rubin book. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everybody. 🌲😊

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kim.guernsey
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I don't care if no one believes me but the crosswalk example was MY submission to Gretchen Rubin for her new book "The Four Tendencies". I'm freaking out on the inside!!! ??? I'm pretty much famous now! ???

HiddenGemBooks I believe it! 😍👏👏 2y
HiddenGemBooks Congrats! 2y
Ruri_kaichou Cool!!!! 2y
22 likes3 comments
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EchoLogical
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I have yet to read this but I hope to make it one of my first reads for the new year because I'm pretty sure that I won't get to it any time soon.
#four #novemberbythenumbers
@JoeStalksBeck @Tiffy_Reads

WhatDeeReads Love Gretchen Rubin! (edited) 2y
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Karen.reads
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It's like Gretchen Rubin can see right into my soul. 😆#Rebel #fourtendencies

kiminreverse I'm a Questioner but I have so many rebel qualities! 2y
Karen.reads @kiminreverse they overlap! I'm a Rebel leaning towards Questioner! 2y
Suet624 I too am a rebel leaning toward a questioner! 2y
13 likes3 comments
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MaureenMc
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Pickpick

Gretchen Rubin's latest book on happiness, habits, and human nature. She identifies four ways that we respond to external and internal expectations, and explores what this means for the people with each tendency as well as those that interact with them. Very readable and thought provoking.

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sebrittainclark
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Pickpick

I'm already a fan of Gretchen Rubin's podcast and other books, but I hesitated to buy this one since I felt that I already had a good grasp on my own tendency (Obliger), but I'm glad I got a copy. I found this framework really helpful for both understanding myself and creating strategies that help me achieve my goals.

rachelsbrittain Do you think this would be useful for you Questioner sister haha? 2y
sebrittainclark @rachelsbrittain yeah it has a few chapters on each tendency plus it goes into how the different tendencies interact 2y
4 likes2 stack adds2 comments
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Jess7
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I received a very sweet care package today from my #LitsyPenPal, Maureen. Look at all the thoughtful handwritten notes on the wrapping paper. 🤗 I've never heard of this book, but I am definitely excited to check it out. Thanks Maureen! 😘 #LitsyPenPals

[DELETED] 3803335244 How wonderful 💜💜💜💕 2y
TrishB Lovely 💝 2y
LittleWonder @Jess7 Enjoy! 🤗 2y
squirrelbrain How thoughtful! 🎁📖❤️ 2y
Mdargusch Wow! What a great box of goodies! 2y
111 likes1 stack add5 comments
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Karen.reads
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Can't believe Half Price Books had this already. Excited to read it. (I already know I'm a rebel!)

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Christine
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Pickpick

I‘m giving this a 🤘 for being a good version of what it is - a fun personality paradigm based on an unscientific but thoughtful analysis of expectations/motivation/behavior. The categories make sense, and many of the strategies for optimal living within each tendency seem useful. I‘m not a huge Rubin devotee, but I like thinking about how individuals respond differently to internal and external expectations, so I appreciated that emphasis.

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LittleWonder
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Gretchen Rubin is one of my favorite podcasters. (Check out her Happier podcast.) She started her career as a law clerk for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor - and later realized she really wanted to be a writer. Gretchen was kind enough to sign and mail out bookplates for her latest book The Four Tendencies. This Rebel/Obliger is looking forward to reading it. 😎

merelybookish I'm a Rebel/obliger too! 2y
LittleWonder @merelybookish 👋🏻👍🏻 2y
21 likes2 comments
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CKtheLibrarian
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I have a feeling this is too similar to True Colors. Nevertheless, she was very gracious, entertaining, inquisitive, and a great speaker. Looking forward to reading this.

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rachel_mbc
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Had so much fun introducing Gretchen Rubin at her book launch event tonight. I highly recommend taking her Four Tendencies quiz. I'm an obliger and knowing that is SO helpful for my everyday life.

BTW, that's Melissa Hartwig in the background because my job is cool.

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ness
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Mehso-so

I wish there was a review option in between so-so and pick because that's where I'm at. Rubin expands on her four Tendencies—the idea that there are four types of people in the world who are various combinations of intrinsically and extrinsically motivated. Some of the examples were rough: if you're in a monogamous marriage and decide unilaterally to engage in poly relationships, you're not a rebel; you're an ass. Still, it is interesting.

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howjessreads
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Reading on a bench while Juliet gets some park time! 🙂

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howjessreads
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And because I can never resist a collage - all of the #julybookmailforme covers; highlighting (enlarging) the four I'm most interested in.

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howjessreads
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Yay! Excited to read this one. Pubs 9/12. #julybookmailforme

23 likes1 stack add
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chowmeyow
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I love digging into a new book from a favorite author

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chowmeyow
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#BEA17 day 1 galleys. Got the top two books I wanted today (The Four Tendencies and Young Jane Young) plus other good stuff I had my eye on (My Life With Bob, Jane Unlimited and Sing, Unburied, Sing) and some discoveries (the rest). This isn't my day job, so I'm very grateful that I get to take time off work to be with fellow bookworms and get fun new books.

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