Not a bad reading spot.
Not a bad reading spot.
This was a pretty good “self help” that wasn‘t overly preachy. She talks about putting forth your positive self and being present in what you do. I liked her attitude and personal experiences. Some thing were a bit unrealistic in my opinion, but overall, I thought she brought up some great points!
Everyone, EVERYONE who has even the most minuscule, momentary experiences of self doubt needs to get their hands on this book. It was a refreshing take on a “self help” type read and a thoroughly researched and carefully articulated conversation in written form. I found myself thinking, “You thought you knew, but you had no idea!” The last half dragged a bit because of the “textbookish” chapters and research included, but overall a superb read.
When our minds and insecurities make us feel insignificant, it seems our bodies really can remind us that we are, in fact, made of the stuff of stars.
One true story, one honest confession, can be powerful.
In each challenging situation, we nudge ourselves: we encourage ourselves to feel a little more courageous, to act a bit more boldly — to step outside the walls of our own fear, anxiety and powerlessness. To be a bit more present. And incrementally, over time, we end up where we want to be...even if we couldn‘t have said where that was when we started.
We don‘t get there by deciding to change right now. We do it gently, incrementally, by nudging ourselves — a bit further every time.
The key to presence. 🔑
When we feel powerful, we‘re less self conscious about expressing our feelings and beliefs, and that frees us to think and do great things.
Feeling powerless undermines our ability to trust ourselves. And if we cannot trust ourselves, we cannot build trust with others.
Personal power allows us to shed the fears and inhibitions that prevent us from fully connecting with ourselves — with our beliefs, feelings, and skills.
Personal power......makes us more open, optimistic, and risk tolerant, and therefore more likely to notice and take advantage of opportunities.
New situations may stoke old fears; future sensations of inadequacy might reawaken long-forgotten insecurities. But the more we are aware of our anxieties, the more we communicate about them, and the smarter we are about how they operate, the easier they‘ll be to shrug off the next time they pop up. It‘s a game of whack-a-mole we can win.
Prejudice,sadly, is not going away overnight. That‘s not an excuse to ignore the problem, but we‘re not going to eliminate it tomorrow.
If achieving presence requires us to be totally in tune with our truest feelings, beliefs, abilities, and values, then we certainly cannot be present when we feel like a fraud.
Sometimes we express ourselves most eloquently by not expressing anything — by allowing our presence, unexplained and unembellished, to speak for itself.
We have to give other people space and safety to be honest — and we can‘t respond defensively when we‘re listening. For some of us, it also means we need to overcome our fear of silence — of space.
Real listening can‘t take place unless we have a sincere desire to understand what we‘re hearing.
Presence gives you the power to help others in their most challenging moments.
If someone you‘re trying to influence doesn‘t trust you, you‘re not going to get very far....you might have great ideas, but without trust, those ideas are impotent. A warm, trustworthy person who is also strong elicits admiration, but only after you‘ve established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat.
The lesson is that trust is the conduit of influence, and the only way to establish real trust is by being present. Presence is the medium through which trust develops and ideas travel.
But, more specifically, presence is about how we show up — how we approach the people we hope to connect with and influence.
Presence with others is first about showing up. Literally, physically, showing up.
When a musician is present, we are moved, transported,and convinced. When musicians are present, they bring us with them to the present.
When musicians are fully immersed in playing,everything they are doing — including subtle movements of their heads and bodies — is harmonious not only with the rhythm and melody but also with the essence of the music.
Your boldest self emerges through the experience of having full access to your values, traits and strengths and knowing that you can autonomously and sincerely express them through your actions and interactions. That is what it means to believe in your own story.
Physical and psychological adversity shape us. Our challenges give us insights and experiences that only we have had......they are things we need not only accept but also embrace and even see as strengths. While we may not have chosen to include them in our concepts of ourselves, they are there. And what more can we do but own them?
One need not be loud or gregarious to be passionate and effective.
Sometimes you have to get out of the way of yourself so you can be yourself.
Presence stems from believing and trusting your story — your feelings,beliefs, values and abilities.
To be present, we have to treat these challenges as moments. Presence is not all or nothing. Sometimes we lose it and have to start again, and that‘s okay.
There will always be new challenges, new uncomfortable situations, new roles — things that push us off balance and stoke our anxiety, forcing us to reexamine who we are and how we connect with others.
We can‘t be fully engaged in an interaction when we‘re busy second-guessing ourselves and attending to hamster wheel in our heads — the jumbled,frenetic, self doubting analysis of what we think is happening is happening in the room.
“All changes....have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.”
Presence stems from believing in and trusting yourself — your real, honest feelings, values, and abilities.
Powerlessness engulfs is — and all that we believe, know, and feel. Enshrouds who we are, making us invisible. It even alienates us from ourselves.
This was great on audio!!! I really enjoy the self help type non-fiction books on audio, and felt like I got a lot from it. Apparently other social psychologists somewhat debunked Amy Cuddy‘s theory from this book, but a new study again supports her research. Either way it was fascinating and I plan to incorporate some of what she discusses into my life. Power posing!
Listened to this on audio and really loved it. An awesome and very practical book about building confidence and using physical presence to build self-confidence. Will be reading this again and taking some notes !
I loved her TED talk, and do the Wonder Woman pose in my office as often as I can remember. So far I‘m loving her book just as much.
I'm paraphrasing a sentence from the book but this pretty well sums it up - The body influences the mind, the mind influences behavior, and behavior influences the future. The study summaries were slightly boring, but they did help prove the point. Watch her Ted talk, use the poses pictured and save yourself the other 9 hours.
Listened to this on my way to work and was able to use this quote today. Point made.
"That's how it works. In each challenging situation, we nudge ourselves to feel a little more courageous, to act a bit more boldly - to step outside the walls of our own fear, anxiety, and powerlessness. To be a bit more present. And incrementally, over time, we end up where we want to be...even if we couldn't have said where that was when we started."
Carry tools, not weapons 🛠
A bit of a rambling and anecdotal pop psychology book. You could just read chapter 8 "the body shapes of the mind/starfish up" and get the max effect without reading the whole mess. The basic science IS intriguing and life-changing by many people's accounts. Watch Amy Cuddy's TED talk if the book meanders too much for you ?
#riotgram #onewordtitle Here are six books with a one word title that are currently on my Kindle #TBR stack. I hope to get to some of them soon. 📚📚📚With the exception of Presence (I bought it after seeing the author's Ted Talk online), I think that they were all #blameitonlitsy additions. Were any of these standouts/favorites for you? 📚👍
The Wonder Woman pose will forever be in my confidence arsenal. love this book!