By the time I‘m done with you, blue eyes, you are going to be rode hard and put away wet.
I looked down at the ring on my finger. He hadn't called. He hadn't reached out to me at all. This was what he wanted. I loved him. I loved him so much. And if this was what he wanted, I'd give it to him. I pulled the ring off my finger and set it down on the kitchen counter. If James needed me to disappear, I'd disappear.
There was a time,” he finally said, “when I would have acknowledged your reticence and given you time and space to reach your own decision.”
Then he lowered his lips to my ear.
“This is not that time, Merit.”
And then his mouth was on mine, and he took my breath away again. He kissed me like a man possessed, like a man with nothing more on his mind but the taste and feel of me.
Like a man returned to life.
“How does Parker‘s body compare with yours ”
Great. A pop quiz I thought recognizing his transition into lecture mode.
“How does Parker‘s body compare with mine Hmm.” I gave Parker a quick theatrical once-over and he smiled clearly catching on to my line of thought. “Nice legs and killer biceps. But I have better boobs. No question.”
He sank into that kiss, and fed from me like a starving man holding off famine. I drank from his soul in preparation for the drought to come. And when he finally pulled away, my throat was thick with unspoken words, my heart heavy with every apology I'd ever denied him. But it was too late for promises. The time had come for goodbye.
Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?'
Jace said, "Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself."
..."At least," she said, "you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland."
"Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting.
I think of all the judgment from society, friends, and family, the overwhelming consensus seeming to be that you should not grant someone who betrayed you a second chance. That you should do everything you can to keep the knife out of your back, and to protect your heart and pride. Cowards give second chances. Fools give second chances. And I am no coward, no fool.
But the older you get, the more cynical you become, and the more complicated and convoluted the exercise is. You begin to realize that nothing is perfect, that there are trade-offs and sacrifices. The worst is when someone in your past trumps the person in the present, and you think to yourself: if I'd known this, then maybe I wouldn't have let him go.
Maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.
“How I get to give you shit. It‘s an amazing experience in life, like giving birth. It‘s painful for one person, but breathtaking for another. I‘m the baby here. I get to feel air for the first time on my skin. Let me breathe, Marcus. Let me put my baby lungs to work and scream.”