In some cases women over estimate, in others, they under estimate. It‘s becoming more and more common for men to say to random women they don‘t even know, that they see out in public, “you need to get in shape” or “you need to lose weight” (at least where I live).
#thebeautymyth #naomiwolf #onestepforwardtwostepsback
julesG I'm wondering whether this happens here, too. I'm not out and about often enough. 5y
AlaSkaat I belong to the skinny group, never being able to put on weight. And yeah, I 'must' put on weight because men like more meat on a woman!! Ugh, ok. Thank you boys but I'll focus on being healthy and strong and not be a statue for admiration for you. Lol. Ignorance again. 😑 'fat or too skinny' when did our bodies become a 'style' ?? Is my body SO last year? 5y
AlaSkaat This also goes to women. I see them all the time, those 'work out buddies' sneering at other girls who don't look like them. Be ashamed! 🙈 5y
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GingerAntics @OleAnder I totally agree. There is this “perfect” balance that no one actually has. Too skinny, “eat a burger.” Too fat, “get in shape.” Too muscled, “stop trying to be a man.” 🙄 It‘s dumb. I have a naturally athletic build, so my legs especially aren‘t thin (I have never had a thigh gap), but they seemed almost pure muscle. My grandmother used to always call me a lesbian (but would never tell me what that meant). 🙄 5y
GingerAntics @OleAnder just like male athletes, I got hurt really bad, played hurt too long, had surgery, was on my butt for over a year recovering and gained a bunch of weight. All the crazy diet fads have actually caused me to gain more. They say we would weigh LESS now if we‘d never far dieted, because we wouldn‘t have been on the yo-yo. I still work out and I‘m really strong, but I don‘t necessarily look like it. 🤷🏼♀️ 5y
GingerAntics @julesG I hope you never find out. More so, I hope it‘s not a thing where you live. I fear it‘s the male/patriarchal back lash against the me too movement. I‘ve heard it‘s on the rise recently. How dare we (women) demand to be treated like human beings. Of course I always think of just the right thing to say about 10 minutes later. 🙄 5y
AlaSkaat @GingerAntics Ah, I get what you mean. I don't understand the whole obsession with how the body looks. And I'm glad you recovered well! And since you're strong- if someone says anything bad about your body, just throw them a punch. Show them how healthy you are! 😂 5y
GingerAntics @OleAnder @julesG my biggest thing, for me, is balance. Everyone has a natural weight and fighting that is mostly futile. I‘m more concerned that I‘m eating a balanced diet and getting healthy activity. I‘m not skinny so people generally don‘t believe it, but I have actually shown certain types of disordered eating. Now that I know this, I want to try and avoid needing treatment. I‘d never be able to afford it. 5y
julesG I never have a retort handy either. As for weight muscle, etc. I have extra weight since I had my children. My disease doesn't allow me to either go on a diet or do lots of sports. Anyway I've gained strength over the last year and lost weight. And I've eaten a lot of chocolate, too. 😉 Anyway, bodyshaming happens here, too. It starts in nursery sometimes. And it's not always the other kids. My son has been called scrawny by teachers,... 5y
GingerAntics @OleAnder @julesG I used to work under a teacher who was also the faculty leader of the drill/dance team. She had skirts from their uniforms from the 90s that were so small they didn‘t fit her perfectly healthy 7 year old niece. She showed us pictures of her holding one of them and it was scary. 😳 To think HIGH SCHOOL students were at one point that tiny. We wondered how many survived into adulthood being that tiny. 5y
julesG Making him believe he has to eat more, which he does, but it's hardly ever healthy food. My daughter, on the other hand, eats lots of healthy food and us a bit chubby. She's been called chubby by her class teacher. 🙈🙈🙈🙈 People don't think about these things. They just say it. My ex once told my son not to throw like a girl. I was at his throat in seconds. 5y
GingerAntics @julesG oh lord that‘s so sad. I‘m so sorry for him. I really wish adults would act like it, especially toward children. I read an article once that before the invention of the bathroom scale, most people (male or female) never knew how much they weighed and a woman gaining weight upon marriage and with childbirth was a sign of wisdom, so women weren‘t concerned with all this BS. They just made sure they ate good things as much as they could. 5y
GingerAntics @julesG if they could do their normal work, they didn‘t care. Men appreciated that their wives had this extra weight to nourish their unborn children, etc. Being a little bigger was a total status symbol. “Oh that‘s a mother. She knows stuff. She‘s dealt with lunatic toddlers/teenagers. She‘s awesome.” 5y
GingerAntics @julesG oh my god he‘s fine. If he‘s hungry, he will eat. A lot of little kids are kind of scrawny until they reach puberty. Other kids (and lots of them) are chubby until puberty. Some still are that way after puberty. As long as they‘re eating healthy I don‘t know why it should matter to anyone. 🙄 Ugh that annoys me so much. 5y
julesG I hope I can get this, need to eat sweets to put on weight out of my son's head. - - - yeah, women used to be healthy when they were chubby. Like you said. Just remember reading about the 18th century, when consumption chique became a thing. That's probably when the craze started. Is there anything in your book about that? 5y
AlaSkaat @julesG @GingerAntics My aunties son is just a year old and he's big! But he eats well and is a very healthy kid. But people often ask how much she gives him... he's just a baby and he should now be a perfect weight! I wish everyone would stop trying to find 'one that fits all' and understand that every body is different. 5y
AlaSkaat @julesG @GingerAntics When I was younger I rarely experienced anything like this. A teacher might have asked a parent about the kids weight, but once it was established everything was well, they dropped it. But now everyone knows better. 5y
GingerAntics @julesG not sure. I haven‘t gotten to the food portion of the book yet. I‘ll let you know. lol They‘ve actually found that BMI is an accurate predictor of health (surprise surprise) only for men. People with a BMI in the range of “overt weight” and “slightly obese” are actually better able to survive sever illness and cancer. The negative heart effects of those BMI ranges are only significantly higher for men. 5y
GingerAntics @OleAnder everyone is a critic. 🙄 5y
AlaSkaat @GingerAntics But being a critic that's lacking knowledge... this is why I never get offended. Only those that don't understand will judge you and you can't be offended by their lack of knowledge. 5y
GingerAntics @OleAnder in theory you can‘t, no, but it doesn‘t keep it from hurting or getting to you. Which then makes me mad that I‘m giving them the time of day when they probably didn‘t remember it five seconds later. It‘s a vicious cycle, and this book is really bringing up past experiences in a way I wish it wouldn‘t. 5y
AlaSkaat @GingerAntics I hope you find a way to learn how to get past that! 😇❤❤ 5y
GingerAntics @OleAnder the part on food is actually making me feel empowered, so I think I‘ve moved past that part. I hope I am, anyway. It‘s amazing how hard I‘m finding it to make a proper calorie goal. I‘m still 650 calories from what I should be getting every day. It‘s amazing what we‘ve learned as normal. (edited) 5y
AlaSkaat @GingerAntics Oh, I am glad! It all comes down to finding what is good for you and your body. That takes some time. But you seem to be doing great! A good diet is actually soo hard to maintain, never mind actually finding it! Uhhh 5y
GingerAntics @OleAnder that‘s why I don‘t diet. I make healthy choices (I eat my vegetables, I eat fruit, I love both and always have), I stay hydrated, I love chocolate. It‘s all about balance. Dieting does A LOT of damage to people. Most women who are obese are actually that way because of dieting and the damage it‘s done. 5y
AlaSkaat @GingerAntics I don't think anyone actually knows what it is we should do. Be it diet, exercise etc. You can only eat well, move enough and hope for the best lol 5y
GingerAntics @OleAnder actually, I read an article that said if all you can do is a 30 minute walk every day, you‘ll be fine. This was all based on research. There are books that take a sane approach, but of course they are silenced by the diet companies, which have clearly paid off the medical community. 5y
AlaSkaat @GingerAntics Yeah. But there is so much research that you don't really know which one of them is actually the right now. Everything is backed up by scientific research and yet they all contradict 5y
GingerAntics @OleAnder that‘s where looking into finding and bias come in. Most books don‘t tell you that. If I book doesn‘t tell me, I ignore it because they‘re trying to hide something. I‘m an academic by nature. Show me your sources. If you can‘t, your book is rubbish. If you take that approach, a whole lot (the vast majority) of those books fall away. 5y
AlaSkaat @GingerAntics I found that most people use the same source to back up different points. But yeah, you're right. The one quote I like is 'If 50 million people say something foolish, it is still foolish.' I think it fits nicely here. Lol 5y
GingerAntics @OleAnder totally agree with that. We‘ve been taught to repeat total BS to the point that most people don‘t even know it‘s BS. 5y
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