Here we are at the end of #DoorstopKristin Book Two! #KLBR Discussion Questions (1/5):
Do you see Kristin and Erlend‘s relational struggles as inevitable? Are their temperaments and backgrounds just a bad fit, or could they have responded differently to each other?
What do you see as the main contributing factors to the breakdown of Kristin and Erlend‘s relationship?
What positive elements (if any!) do you see in Kristin and Erlend‘s marriage?
BarbaraJean @Ruthiella @Andrea313 @Daisey @quietjenn @Librarybelle @lauraisntwilder @MaureenMc @Gleefulreader @Deblovestoread @MeganAnn @AmyG @JenLovesJT47 @rubyslippersreads @bklover @Texreader @AnneCecilie @suet624 @Leniverse @CrowCAH @Caterina 1w
Ruthiella Communication is a problem but also, as Kristen points out, Erland is rarely open to criticism. But she sure can hold a grudge. In other ways, they are not so ill suited for each other. Erland needs someone who can control him without his realizing that is what they are doing and they have a strong physical bond. (edited) 1w
AmyG I always thought their bond was one of passion more than anything. I never saw them as a “team”. They grew separately, not together. And yes, there was poor communication. I don‘t blame her for having a grudge. Very human to do so with him. 1w
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lauraisntwilder The older Kristin gets, the more she sees how inappropriate Erland's behavior was before they were married. It feels like she spends years blaming herself for disappointing her father, then switches to blaming Erland for leading her into dangerous situations. I still wish she'd become a nun or run off with the elf lady! 6d
Andrea313 I do think their struggles were inevitable. They came together with tons of physical passion but I think their values were different from the start and as @AmyG pointed out, they didn't grow together. Erlend was always weak and Kristin didn't (or wouldn't) see the red flags, unfortunately. And I'm with @lauraisntwilder in wishing she'd gone down the path of religious devotion- Nun Kristin, we could have had it all! 6d
BarbaraJean @Ruthiella @AmyG Yes, communication I think is key—also expectations. Erlend expected different things from marriage (rather than Kristin being pregnant all the time!) and I think Kristin expected Erlend would become steadier & more responsible. Kristin adjusts her expectations but resents it (nursing that grudge), and Erlend doesn‘t take any responsibility—for the relationship or otherwise. It‘s interesting that we see communication issues ⬇ 6d
BarbaraJean (Cont‘d) …with Kristin‘s parents (the reveal at the end of book one). They do communicate to work things out in book two—but they never stop being partners. Kristin and Erlend just are not partners, and I‘d blame that squarely on Erlend. I honestly think that if Erlend had worked to become an actual responsible grown up, Kristin would likely have responded to him differently and their relationship would have looked far different. 6d
BarbaraJean @lauraisntwilder @Andrea313 #TeamKristelf! I actually thought with Erlend‘s imprisonment toward the end that he might die (through starvation, torture, or execution), and then Kristin would be free to become a nun. I mean, Book Three IS titled “The Cross,” so… 6d
Andrea313 @BarbaraJean I thought the same thing and was shocked when he lived! 6d
Suet624 @AmyG You've said pretty much exactly what I would have said. 5d
Suet624 I agree that Kristin's ability to hold a grudge was an issue. I understood why she would but it kept any opportunity for partnership to take place. Erland was a playboy who tried to play the role of a husband/father. If we were looking for him to be punished for his infidelity, he sure was! :) 5d
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