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Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me)
Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts | Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson
23 posts | 11 read | 28 to read
Entertaining, illuminating andwhen you recognize yourself in the stories it tellsmortifying. Wall Street Journal Every page sparkles with sharp insight and keen observation. Mistakes were madebut not in this book! Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness Why is it so hard to say I made a mistakeand really believe it? When we make mistakes, cling to outdated attitudes, or mistreat other people, we must calm the cognitive dissonance that jars our feelings of self-worth. And so, unconsciously, we create fictions that absolve us of responsibility, restoring our belief that we are smart, moral, and righta belief that often keeps us on a course that is dumb, immoral, and wrong. Backed by years of research, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-justificationhow it works, the damage it can cause, and how we can overcome it. This updated edition features new examples and concludes with an extended discussion of how we can live with dissonance, learn from it, and perhaps, eventually, forgive ourselves. A revelatory study of how lovers, lawyers, doctors, politiciansand all of uspull the wool over our own eyes . . . Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, andif were honestourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer. Francine Prose, O, The Oprah Magazine
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TheBookgeekFrau
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Pickpick

Very interesting and informative; as well as entertaining with sprinkles of humor throughout.

The only thing that bothered me was the over-simplified explanation of cognitive dissonance and self-justification being the sole reasons behind people in power not copping to their mistakes.

8/62

#BookspinBingo @TheAromaofBooks

#MountTBR #ReadAway2024 @Andrew65 @DieAReader @GHABI4ROSES

DieAReader 🥳Great! 2mo
TheAromaofBooks Great review!! 2mo
35 likes2 comments
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TheBookgeekFrau
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"'Mistakes were quite possibly made by the administrations in which I served.'"

#FirstLineFridays
@ShyBookOwl

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TheBookgeekFrau
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Moving along to the next #TBR

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Robotswithpersonality
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Mehso-so

As promised, gives insight into the mental processes that make it so hard to admit having made a mistake, and that often persuade people to double-down when a mistake has been made, to justify rather than confess culpability. 1/?

Robotswithpersonality 2/? I could wish that less of the book had been focused on darker subject matter than expected (there's political scandal and family therapy, not much on private business, but also wrongful imprisonment, assault, abuse, murder and torture cases) but as in most psychology books that hope to reach a broad audience, dramatic examples are employed. 4mo
Robotswithpersonality 3/? I can appreciate the authors wanted to back the concepts introduced by a wealth of evidence, but it does start to feel like they've got a few key concepts (self-justification, cognitive dissonance, bias, the pyramid), and then move through hundreds of pages indicating examples of where those came into play, and the few hopeful instances where people acknowledged the mistake, stopped the downward momentum. 4mo
Robotswithpersonality 4/? I think if you're in therapy, law enforcement or politics in the U.S. there are chapters in here that should be required reading. To a lesser extent, the concepts introduced are broadly applicable and worth keeping in mind. Unsurprisingly, being mindful of your decision-making, your biases, and being willing to admit your mistakes are useful things for all humans to practice. 4mo
Robotswithpersonality 5/5 Would I recommend the average person pick this up and read it? No. It's too long, it risks putting off the reader before they get the full message the authors hoped to provide. If you'd like a terrible flashback with a sprinkle optimism, you can just check out the last chapter added for this edition, about Trump's presidency. 🤦🏼‍♂️
4mo
Robotswithpersonality ⚠️🚩 It would appear Carol Tavris has made some headlines for anti-trans statements, so now I REALLY don't recommend you read this. 🤢 4mo
6 likes5 comments
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Robotswithpersonality
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Why I consider "deregulation" one of the scariest words in the English language.

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Robotswithpersonality
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♥️

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Robotswithpersonality
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Newsflash: Just because it was groundbreaking in the 1950s, doesn't it mean it should be upheld today! 🙄

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Robotswithpersonality
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😲 And the award for most appalling portmanteau goes to...

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Robotswithpersonality
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👀

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Robotswithpersonality
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Love the phrasing. 🧪🔬♥️

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Robotswithpersonality
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🤦🏼‍♂️ If you notice emojis coming into play more in reaction to quotes from this particular book, it's because I'm so flabbergasted, I've run out of words. 😦

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Robotswithpersonality
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🔥💅🏻

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Robotswithpersonality
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Maybe I've listened to too many Michael Hobbes co-hosted podcasts over the years, but I'm feeling weird about the examples provided. How do you know the participants in the high ordeal ritual weren't more commited to start with and thus more likely to donate more after? Where's the definitive evidence that pain caused the devotion? I'm not seeing cause and effect, just correlation, and any Hobbes listener knows how slippery that can be...

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Robotswithpersonality
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Non-fiction with spicy examples! 🌶️👌🏻

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Christine
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Pickpick

Lots to highlight in this! Its message is super important, and I valued all of the research included re: how hard we humans will work to avoid cognitive dissonance and deny/justify our mistakes. I would have liked even more data (but understand their decisions - it‘s not an academic text). I was iffy about some generalizations, as well as how they framed some stuff (but I know there‘s an updated 2020 version; maybe it includes some reframing). ⬇️

Christine They closed with that Lao Tzu quote, which I love. 3y
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Christine
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Started this recently and loving already! I‘ve wanted to read it for ages, but as far as I knew it had nothing to do with bioethics. So I was surprised when this page caused a flood of warm memories of the grad school semester I spent doing a one-on-one independent study with the brilliant (and generous and kind) Dr. Krimsky. Reading serendipity is the best. ❤️

BookmarkTavern I‘m loving that title! 😂 3y
Christine @ozma.of.oz Right?? It‘s so good (so far) and painfully relevant to...current events. And to our own lives and behaviors, if we‘re willing to admit it! 3y
46 likes2 comments
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she.hearts.horror
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bibliothecarivs
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Pickpick

An important book which will always be timely since cognitive dissonance will forever be with us. Updated twice since 2007 to reflect new research and include new examples- a great commitment to science and relevance. For it to be truly impactful, I would need to re-read it every few years to remind myself of the subtle traps that can result from CD and to tighten up my conscious processing and decision-making.

Recommended by my wife, Amy.

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Juli4na
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We make mistakes. It happens. It doesn‘t mean we‘re stupid. It only means we made a mistake. It doesn‘t define who we are.

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Juli4na
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Bedtime reading! Back to this amazing book that is def a MUST READ! So many insights about the human nature! #psychology #nonfiction

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CatchMyBookBreath
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Pickpick

'Mistakes Were Made But Not By Me' was published in 2015. Oh honey, if you only knew what was to come... Should be required reading in 2018, as well as 'Everybody Lies'.

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rjsthumbelina
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Very interesting concept: a book about the inherent problems with self-justification. Wonder if they can pull off a whole book on the concept!

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Auntynanny
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I listened to the audiobook for this one. I found the narrator's voice a bit robotic, but the book was quite interesting.