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Abandon Me
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
In her critically acclaimed memoir, "Whip Smart," Melissa Febos laid bare the intimate world of the professional dominatrix, turning an honest examination of her life into a lyrical study of power, desire, and fulfillment. In her dazzling "Abandon Me," Febos captures the intense bonds of love and the need for connection -- with family, lovers, and oneself. First, her birth father, who left her with only an inheritance of addiction and Native American blood, its meaning a mystery. As Febos tentatively reconnects, she sees how both these lineages manifest in her own life, marked by compulsion and an instinct for self-erasure. Meanwhile, she remains closely tied to the sea captain who raised her, his parenting ardent but intermittent as his work took him away for months at a time. Woven throughout is the hypnotic story of an all-consuming, long-distance love affair with a woman, marked equally by worship and withdrawal. In visceral, erotic prose, Febos captures their mutual abandonment to passion and obsession -- and the terror and exhilaration of losing herself in another. At once a fearlessly vulnerable memoir and an incisive investigation of art, love, and identity, "Abandon Me" draws on childhood stories, religion, psychology, mythology, popular culture, and the intimacies of one writer's life to reveal intellectual and emotional truths that feel startlingly universal.
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Ellohcin
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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16 likes1 stack add
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vlwelser
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Pickpick

This is beautifully written. It's about the author's journey to find herself. Sort of. It's hard to describe. She wrote an earlier memoir about her time as a dominatrix and heroin addict which I feel compelled to go back and also read.

#BookSpinBingo square 4
@TheAromaofBooks

TheAromaofBooks Great progress!! 1y
35 likes1 stack add1 comment
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emilycr2
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Pickpick

Beautiful

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mrozzz
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Well! I‘m certainly itching to read this ASAP. Melissa Febos and 3 other LGBTQ writer friends each read about 20 mins of their work and I was pretty much blown away.

Such powerful, lovely work by all! 💗👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Details here if anyone is interested: https://www.facebook.com/events/716415805229666/?ti=icl

109 likes5 stack adds
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mrozzz
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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In the city with my babe today and dragged him to Books are Magic where I picked up these 2 signed lovelies. #BookHaul

emilyhaldi Pretty covers 😍😍 5y
mrozzz @emilyhaldi right? I‘m such a sucker for a fabulous cover. 😏 5y
84 likes2 comments
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ElizabethSensa
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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"I understood early that love was a mission to heal one's own heart. We are attracted to the people who can open our wounds." P121

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AlexGeorge
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Pickpick

So, I tore through this, and loved it. Unflinchingly honest, brave as hell, super-smart, and beautifully - really beautifully - written. Highly, highly recommended.

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AlexGeorge
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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THIS BOOK.

19 likes2 stack adds
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Redwritinghood
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Pickpick

While the narrative thread here is loose and frayed, the writing is beautiful, intimate and raw. She focuses mainly on three relationships: a mostly absent biological father, an adoptive, sea captain father, and a long-distance affair with a manipulative, married woman. As the title implies, she looks at how to cope when those you love are absent or unavailable.

Redwritinghood I'm also curious about her other memoir that looks at her time as a heroin addict and dominatrix in NYC. 😲 5y
mrozzz Sounds great! 5y
57 likes2 stack adds2 comments
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LauraReadsTheBooks
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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This memoir is so beautifully written and thought provoking...my brain is on overload from all I've read this weekend...there have been some very heavy hitters! I would much rather stay up reading this than go to sleep, but alas... I need to be functional for work tomorrow.

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Blair_Reads
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Pickpick

Beautiful writing. Compelling look at her life. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

72 likes1 stack add
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shutupsmalls
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos

Abandonment by a lover won't kill us. But it awakens the parts of us that remember when it could.

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shutupsmalls
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Pickpick

A beautifully written, brutally honest book about losing yourself in love, finding out where you came from, addiction, and telling your own stories. Febos creates wonderful similes and images and insightful, hard-hitting truths. I did feel like the last piece about her destructive long-distance relationship with a woman and connecting with her Wampanoag birth father felt unwieldy. She should have divided it into 2 essays. #NativeReads #QueerBooks

26 likes2 stack adds
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CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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"her face so soft with hope that it broke me open like a street melon--the sun-soaked ones they sell on Nostrand Avenue in summer"
"The strange sensation of seeping back into myself"
#QueerBooks

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CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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"I already knew ... that every love is a sea monster in whose belly we learn to pray." #QueerBooks #NativeReads

27 likes1 stack add
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CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Febos sees herself in her queer indigenous grandmother, who hid both those parts of herself. #QueerBooks #NativeReads

20 likes2 stack adds
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RebeccaH
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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My current read.

merelybookish Creepy? 6y
RebeccaH More like emotionally intense and personal and psychological in focus. It's good! @merelybookish 6y
30 likes2 comments
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CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Excited to get back to this book now that the school semester is over! Also excited about my curry chicken pho and grilled cheese.

ReadingEnvy I approve of this combination! 6y
32 likes1 comment
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libchristina
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
Bailedbailed

So disappointing. Febos digress way too much in each essay. Like she'll talk about love and then talk about something in history that is completely unrelated to the essay. She'll go back to talking about love and then goes into different topic also completely unrelated to the essay.
I really wanted to like this, but the digression was too much.

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paradise_found92
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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"I thought that the host of the party decided when it ended and her guests went home. But feelings have terrible manners-- they are like children, or drunks. They are mad. They gorge as the starved will gorge, until they are sick, until their stomachs split. As you or I would, if we were exiled for thirty years. They do not leave when you want them to. They leave when they are finished." #abandonme #melissafebos

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CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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"I no longer want to change my name. I never did, really. I only wanted to know where I ended and everything else began, and I still do, in these oceanic days. Like Franny Glass, I have begged of myself a prayer, begged of my name an answer. Made them the same powerful thing. Aren't they both gestures of surrender? Melissa may not be another word for mercy, but every name is a name for God."

20 likes1 stack add
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CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Whoa, great choice of epigraphs.

MrBook Aye. And nice nails too. 6y
CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian @MrBook I know right! And thanks. 6y
21 likes2 comments
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SarahKat84
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Me being silly on my cruise. Was gone a week. No internet. I missed you all Litsy! This is a great memoir. I love her writing. Very lyrical and slightly vague but the larger theme is so poignant. So glad to be back on dry land. P.S. I learned I like fishnet stockings.

BooksForEmpathy Oooh! Where did you go!? 6y
SarahKat84 @BooksForEmpathy I went around Baja. We stopped at Cabo and a town called Loreto which was really pretty and much less touristy (aside from myself and my cruise monkeys) 6y
23 likes2 comments
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malloryomeara
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Pickpick

This book absolutely ruined me. These essays on love and loss and pain and searching just.. destroyed me. Please read it. It's stunning. Fuck.

14 likes1 stack add
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BookishMarginalia
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Febos's stepdad was a sea captain.

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BookishMarginalia
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Febos on first listening to the woman who would become her beloved: "I carried a story of my own into that room, but her voice silenced everything in me."

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BookishMarginalia
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Excellent beginning! This glimpse of Febos's book-filled childhood pushes all my bibliophile buttons! #Bloomsbury #memoir

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BookishMarginalia
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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BookishMarginalia
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Diving in! #Bloomsbury #Memoir

DivineDiana Is that a different latte, I spy? 6y
BookishMarginalia @DivineDiana Yes, indeed! 😇 6y
91 likes1 stack add2 comments
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JacintaMCarter
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Mehso-so

#2017Book51
Most of the chapters in this memoir are filled with beautiful imagery and thought-provoking prose. Other chapters, however, feel like Febos is using way too many metaphors instead of just telling us what happened. The chapters about the people in her life are great. When she slides into discussing various psychologists and how their theories apply to her life, though, the book starts to feel more like an essay for a psychology class.

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JacintaMCarter
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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This is the extent of my #BooksAndTreats for today. It's also doubling as my supper tonight, because I'm an irresponsible adult and haven't gone grocery shopping for a few weeks. #RiotGrams

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Ilana
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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Left to right: have read, am reading, am reading.

shutupsmalls Let me know what you think of Abandon Me! It's on my list 6y
Ilana @Smalley I'm in love with it and it's ripping my guts out, so pretty much part for the course for Febos - in other words, I highly recommend! 6y
37 likes1 stack add2 comments
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catieohjoy
Abandon Me | Melissa Febos
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I could not possibly be happier that I was approved for this on NetGalley! I've been looking forward to it since AWP 2015, when I saw Melissa Febos give the most rousing talk on a craft panel about woman writers innovating new/nontraditional forms of creative nonfiction. So yep, I'll be starting to read this immediately. 📖

31 likes4 stack adds