Just... this whole page.
An audiobook I will happily "read."
My favorite speech from Hamlet (Act II, Scene II, lines 295-310) reduced to a text...
"Someone will have to carry on the church when I'm gone, and I'm going to be gone soon. In the spring we'll go to Jerusalem for the Passover, and there I will be judged by the scribes and the priests, and there I will be tortured and put to death. But three days from the day of my death, I shall rise, and be with you again."
"Well, that sucks," someone said.
"The dirt was filled with dozens of moving insects. And long, brown earthworms. All crawling through the wet, black clumps that lined her father's bed." (So she goes downstairs, has breakfast, talks to her friend and doesn't think about it for the next 3 hours... Brilliant.)