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Fourteen (Talks) by (Age) Fourteen
Fourteen (Talks) by (Age) Fourteen: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School | Michelle Icard
The fourteen essential conversations to have with your tween and early teenager to prepare them for the emotional, physical, and social challenges ahead, including scripts and advice to keep the communication going and stay connected during this critical developmental window. Trying to convince a middle schooler to listen to you can be exasperating. Indeed, it can feel like the best option is not to talk! But keeping kids safe--and prepared for all the times to come when you can't be the angel on their shoulder--is all about having the right conversations at the right time. And from a brain growth and emotional readiness perspective, there is no better time for this than their tween years, right up to when they enter high school. Distilling Michelle Icard's decades of experience counseling families, Fourteen (Talks) by (Age) Fourteen focuses on big, thorny topics such as friendship, sexuality, impulsivity, and hygiene, as well as unexpected conversations about creativity, money, privilege, tolerance, and being a contributing member of the family. Icard outlines a simple, memorable, and family-tested formula for the best approach to these essential talks, the BRIEF Model: Begin peacefully, Relate to your child, Interview to collect information, Echo what you're hearing, give Feedback. She also helps parents get over the most common hurdles in talking to tweens: knowing what conversations are most important, figuring out what to say and what phrases to avoid, having a way to get started that won't irritate kids or scare them off, how to keep kids engaged in conversation, and how to exit the conversation in a way that keeps kids wanting more. Like a Rosetta Stone for your tween's confounding language, Fourteen (Talks) by (Age) Fourteen is an essential guide to preparing your tween for teenaged success.
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DarcysMom
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Hoping the tips in this book will *actually* help with having those important conversations. #nonfiction2023 #cloudlibrary

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ImperfectCJ
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Pickpick

I was not in a NF mood, so I got a boost from the audiobook; I'm very glad I did. Some of this was validating (the parenting approach I consciously chose at the start has apparently evolved well in some areas) and some helped me recognize some friction points with my teen and preteen and offered helpful advice and encouragement for navigating these years without letting my parental emotions take center stage. Tidbit: Icard went to my alma mater!

Tamra I need to check this out - sounds helpful. 2y
ImperfectCJ @Tamra It has been for me already as my teen had a bit of an academic crisis while I was reading it and the tips helped me reflect and respond in a measured way (rather than freaking out and catastrophizing, which was my first inclination). The sections on electronic/online stuff we're especially helpful for me. 2y
ImperfectCJ @Tamra *were. Darned autocorrect. 2y
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Tamra @ImperfectCJ I‘m learning we all have triggers that seem to come not necessarily from reality but our own fears and insecurities. I definitely have mine and it‘s difficult to control in the moment! 2y
jen_the_scribe Stacked! I have a 12 year old so I need to check this one out within the next couple of years. 2y
ImperfectCJ @jen_the_scribe I think 12 is a great age to read this one. I have an 11 and a 16, and the suggestions and perspective are helpful for both. Since she was about 8, my 16 has usually read parenting books before me (and then tells me what I'm doing wrong, which I LOVE /sarcasm), but I managed to get to this one before her. 2y
ImperfectCJ @Tamra Yep, I have those things that make me turn into Grover (arms flailing above my head, etc). 2y
jen_the_scribe @ImperfectCJ Good to know! I have an 8 year old also, wouldn‘t hurt to be prepared lol and I‘m glad my kids have no interest in reading parenting books lol 2y
Tamra @ImperfectCJ 🥸 totally! I resort to yelling unfortunately, which they usually tune out. 2y
ImperfectCJ @Tamra I can relate. Mine are very good at tuning out my yelling. 2y
47 likes3 stack adds10 comments
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ImperfectCJ
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Curbside-pickup library haul, left to right:
1 to make me a better parent (or show me what I've already screwed up)
1 for #NewYearWhoDis
1 attempt to improve my Spanish
1 for Agatha Christie book club

LiteraryinLawrence Practicing a language with a familiar book is such a good idea! Maybe I‘ll pull out my copy of Sense and Sensibility in Spanish- you‘ve inspired me! 2y
Bookwormjillk Fourteen Talks sounds really good. I just used an audible credit on it. 2y
58 likes2 comments
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alisiakae
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Pickpick

Happy Publishing Day! Michelle Icard is a local author, and I have been looking forward to her follow-up to Middle School Makeover.

As the parent of a middle schooler, I love books that provide practical, useful advice and wisdom on how to navigate the tween and teen years. This one delivered. It definitely helped me find some of my weak spots, and areas where we could do better (and also validated some of the things we‘re doing well! 😉)

81 likes4 stack adds
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alisiakae
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Maya‘s friends (they are twins) are over at our place for an HP movie marathon. As tempted as I am to watch with them, I‘m giving them their space and spending the afternoon catching up with my #currentreads instead!

#Isabel to keep me company. #catsofLitsy

TrishB What is this strange world with friends over 🤷‍♀️😁 2y
alisiakae @TrishB it is the only normalcy we have! I‘m so glad she is friends with twins - 2 friends in one! 🤣🤣, their family is in our pandemic bubble, she hardly gets to see anyone else. 😔 (edited) 2y
TrishB It‘s so awful for them! We‘re not allowed to mix with anyone 😞 2y
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alisiakae @TrishB our rules are more lax here 🙄, but we don‘t socialize with anyone either apart from the semi-weekly get together with the 2 girls here now (and we parents wear masks at drop off/pick up). My good friend‘s husband just spent almost a month in the hospital with Covid. 😣 I currently have an appt for my 1st dose vaccine on Mar 31, can‘t wait! 2y
Megabooks How‘s your house coming along? Glad you‘re having a relaxed night. 2y
alisiakae @Megabooks it‘s almost done! Our closing date is Feb 26 2y
Megabooks Awesome! Excited for you. 2y
TrishB Good luck with the vaccine! 🤞🏻 2y
81 likes8 comments
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alisiakae
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Starting this ARC by one of my favorite middle school parenting experts, who also happens to be a local author!

I‘ve gotten to know Michelle Icard a bit over the last two years, and I‘ve been looking forward to this book, and was thrilled when she gave me an advance copy to review.

Chrissyreadit I added- this may be a good resource for parents I work with. 2y
alisiakae @Chrissyreadit I read her first book before Maya started middle school, and really liked it, too. 2y
Chrissyreadit @4thhouseontheleft thanks! I stacked so I remember. I have parents that struggle with supporting and accepting so much- and these kids are all right- educated, engaged and tolerant! The adults not so much. 2y
77 likes3 stack adds3 comments