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Emotional Labor
Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work Shaping Our Lives and How to Claim Our Power | Rose Hackman
4 posts | 2 read | 8 to read
For readers of Fair Play by Eve Rodsky and Burnout by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski comes a scathing, deeply-researched foray into the invisible, uncompensated work women perform every day. Were tired. A stranger insists you smile more, even as you navigate a high-stress environment or grating commute. A mother is expected to oversee every last detail of domestic life. A nurse works on the front line, worried about her own health, but has to put on a brave face for her patients. A young professional is denied promotion for being deemed abrasive instead of placating her boss. Nearly every day, we find ourselves forced to edit our emotions to accommodate and elevate the emotions of others. Too many of us are asked to perform this exhausting, draining work at no extra cost, especially if were women or people of color. Emotional labor is essential to our society and economy, but its so often invisible. In this groundbreaking, journalistic deep dive, Rose Hackman shares the stories of hundreds of women, tracing the history of this kind of work and exposing common manifestations of the phenomenon. But Hackman doesnt simply diagnose a problemshe empowers us to combat this insidious force and forge pathways for radical evolution, justice, and change. Drawing on years of research and hundreds of interviews, youll learn: How emotional labor pervades our workplaces, from the bustling food service industry to the halls of corporate America How race, gender, and class unequally shape the load we carry Strategies for leveling the imbalances that contaminate our relationships, social circles, and households Empowering tools to stop anyone from gaslighting you into thinking the work you are doing is not real work Emotional labor is real, but it no longer has to be our burden alone. By recognizing its value and insisting on its shared responsibility, we can set ourselves free and forge a path to a world where empathy, love, and caregiving claim their rightful power.
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ImperfectCJ
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I still had more to say about Rose Hackman's Emotional Labor, and I'm testing my family's patience by talking about it nonstop, so I blogged about it: https://imperfecthappiness.org/2025/09/10/emotional-labor-by-rose-hackman-and-my...

Photo doesn't relate to the post at all, I just was excited that a hummingbird finally sat still long enough for me to take its photo.

Susanita Beautiful! 1d
Cuilin Lovely 🩷💜🩵 There‘s a thing or two about unconditional love and parenting that you could teach!!! 1d
Bette I‘ve never seen one at rest, thx. 1d
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kspenmoll Fantastic photo! I love our little ones who still visit our feeder. 1d
ElizaMarie This picture is beautiful!!! - most of the pics I post have nothing to do with the books I‘m reading :) I like just sharing photos 1d
AnnCrystal Incredible photograph 👏🏼🤩👍🏼 Beautiful 💝💝💝. 1d
39 likes1 stack add6 comments
review
ImperfectCJ
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Pickpick

This book came out in 2023, and it predicts the cultural push towards narrow, restrictive gender definitions that's come with the Project 2025 stuff. Rather than promoting extreme solutions, Hackman suggests that moving forward with an awareness of the lack of financial and cutural recognition for "feminized" labor performed by any gender would help build a stronger, more competitive US economy, and stronger communities. ⬇️

ImperfectCJ Particularly interesting are the studies suggesting that, despite the prevailing idea that women are inherently better at "feelings," men and women are equally capable of empathy and emotional intelligence when the right incentive structures are in place. The emotional labor of anticipating another's needs is a behavior that can be learned, and it is more closely linked to subordinate/leader dynamics than to gender. 2d
ImperfectCJ (Last bit, for now) As maddening as so many of the examples in the book are, Hackman's overall tone is one of hope, which I find profoundly comforting while at the same time leaving me feeling motivated to do the work that I need to in my personal life to bring awareness to emotional labor that so often is dismissed. It also reminds me of the cultural risks men can face when attempting to experience and express the full spectrum of human emotion. 2d
ImperfectCJ Okay, I lied...one more: I just want to state clearly that I think this is an incredible book, and I highly recommend it. And I don't usually recommend nonfiction. 2d
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Suet624 You convinced me. Stacked! 😂 14h
ImperfectCJ @Suet624 Yay! I hope you love it! (Or at least like it.) It really brought so many things into a different light for me. 14h
Suet624 @ImperfectCJ I‘m looking forward to it 12h
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ImperfectCJ
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Listening to this audiobook is awesome, but it's also making me angry, which I then feel compelled to mask for my spouse and our son, creating more emotional labor for me.

(Just kidding...they think it's hilarious when I vent. Which involves its own sort of emotional labor.)

Photo: Hollywood Walk of Fame, which I wandered before an event in LA this weekend. Review: The Walk was kind of a letdown. But I did learn that Igor Stravinsky has a star.

AnnCrystal Walk of Fame 🤩⭐💝. 3d
TieDyeDude I was also desperately underwhelmed by the Walk. An iconic tribute surrounded by squalor and mundane commercialism. 2d
ImperfectCJ @TieDyeDude Seriously. I have trouble seeing how it's an honor to have a star there. I watched a man lie down on the ground to pose with a particular name (can't remember which), and here I am grateful I wore closed-toe shoes because of the yuck. 2d
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Jen2
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Pickpick

Very good

Bookwormjillk This sounds good! 2y
44 likes2 stack adds1 comment