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The Madness of Grief
The Madness of Grief: A Memoir of Love and Loss | Richard Coles
6 posts | 3 read
Whether it is pastoral care for the bereaved, discussions about the afterlife, or being called out to perform the last rites, death is part of the Reverend Richard Coles's life and work. But when his partner the Reverend David Coles died, shortly before Christmas in 2019, much about death took Coles by surprise. For one thing, David's death at the early age of forty-three was unexpected. The man that so often assists others to examine life's moral questions now found himself in need of help. He began to look to others for guidance to steer him through his grief. The flock was leading the shepherd. Much about grief surprised him: the volume of 'sadmin' you have to do when someone dies, how much harder it is travelling for work alone, even the pain of typing a text message to your partner - then realising you are alone. The Reverend Richard Coles's deeply personal account of life after grief will resonate, unforgettably, with anyone who has lost a loved one.
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review
TheEllieMo
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Mehso-so

Given the title - the Madness of Grief - I was expecting this to be quite a deep look at the effects of grief, but it‘s mostly a memoir, deceiving what Coles did in the immediate aftermath of his partner‘s death, with the occasional reference to how certain events triggered a grief response. It‘s interesting, but not what I was expecting. I certainly didn‘t expect a former Communard to spend Christmas with Lord and Lady Spencer.

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TheEllieMo
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I am posting one book per day from my extensive to-be-read collection. No description and providing no reason for wanting to read it, I just do. Some will be old, some will be new. Don‘t judge me - I have a lot of books. Join in if you want!

#ABookADay2023

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charl08
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But where better to be overwhelmed than in church?

I have often come across people who have walked into one, found a seat at the back and allowed themselves to be overwhelmed. Once, in Knightsbridge, when I was locking up I came across a young woman sitting at the back who was crying bitterly. I sat next to her in silence, handing her tissues from time to time, until she was done, when she got up and left without a word

Suet624 There have been critical moments in my life where I've been completely overwhelmed in a church. Thank you for sharing this quote. It's an important marker in my life that I'm in a much better place now. 1y
ShelleyBooksie Gorgeous flowers 1y
charl08 @Suet624 what I liked about this quote from a vicar was how accepting he was of the church as a "safe space" without any strings, for those suffering. 1y
charl08 @ShelleyBooksie yes, my mum's funeral tribute. She loved proteas. 1y
ShelleyBooksie I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom. 1y
57 likes5 comments
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charl08
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It is hard to think of anything more English than standing in Waitrose in Eastbourne, the object of distanced sympathy, by people buying forced rhubarb and salsify.

69 likes1 stack add
review
Fridayfilms
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Pickpick

I lost my dear dad a week ago. I can‘t recall if I pre-ordered this in anticipation of the event or if I did so off the back of a well-timed review. Maybe a bit of both. It‘s really helping me, and I plan on shipping it to my mother when I finish.

TrishB Sorry to hear 💔 3y
charl08 Helping me too. Sorry for your loss. 1y
5 likes2 comments