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An Abbreviated Life
An Abbreviated Life: A Memoir | Ariel Leve
9 posts | 8 read | 17 to read
Sometimes, a child is born to a parent who cant be a parent, and, like a seedling in the shade, has to grow toward a distant sun. Ariel Leves spare and powerful memoir will remind us that family isnt everythingkindness and nurturing are. Gloria Steinem Ariel Leve grew up in Manhattan with an eccentric mother she describes as a poet, an artist, a selfappointed troublemaker and attention seeker. Leve learned to become her own parent, taking care of herself and her mothers needs. There would be uncontrolled, impulsive rages followed with denial, disavowed responsibility, and then extreme outpourings of affection. How does a child learn to feel safe in this topsyturvy world of conditional love? Leve captures the chaos and lasting impact of a childs life under siege and explores how the coping mechanisms she developed to survive later incapacitated her as an adult. There were material comforts, but no emotional safety, except for summer visits to her fathers home in South East Asia-an escape that was terminated after he attempted to gain custody. Following the death of a loving caretaker, a succession of replacements raised Leve-relationships which resulted in intense attachment and loss. It was not until decades later, when Leve moved to other side of the world, that she could begin to emancipate herself from the past. In a relationship with a man who has children, caring for them yields a clarity of what was missing. In telling her haunting story, Leve seeks to understand the effects of chronic psychological maltreatment on a childs developing brain, and to discover how to build a life for herself that she never dreamed possible: An unabbreviated life.
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Cinfhen
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This is a difficult book to review. I didn‘t “enjoy” it but I was compelled & invested in Ariel‘s story to see how it would play out. At a very young age Ariel‘s parents split up & Ariel is raised by her mother, a narcissistic woman with no parenting skills & clearly some type of mental illness. Ariel is raised by a revolving door of nannies, who love her but can not handle working/living with her mother. In unwavering prose, Ariel shares her 👇🏽

Cinfhen daily traumas and experiences. Credit to Ariel for seeking professional help. It‘s so sad how due to her mother‘s wealth & privilege, nobody intervened throughout Ariel‘s childhood. She was not physically abused but the psychological traumas were horrific. 2y
TrishB That sounds very sad! 2y
Cinfhen It was more disturbing than sad because it was written in a very detached tone @TrishB I just don‘t understand how no adult intervened?! Her mother was constantly hosting dinner parties & soirées where all kinds of shenanigans were going on. People knew this woman was unstable! It made me REALLY MAD 2y
See All 10 Comments
TrishB @Cinfhen yes there‘s not just physical abuse ☹️ 2y
Megabooks Sounds a lot like this, which I read recently. I can‘t imagine that level of childhood trauma. 2y
EvieBee I really liked this one; found it enlightening! Glad she found some sort of closure. 2y
Cinfhen Yes, me too @EvieBee it does leave you feeling somewhat hopeful 2y
Suet624 This brought to mind the Sinead O'Connor book I read. She went door to door asking for someone to take her in, to be her parent. Her mother was awful and everyone knew it but no one would help her. I feel so badly for her and the lifetime trauma it has created. 2y
Cinfhen Ohhhh, I meant to listen to Sinead‘s memoir @Suet624 thanks for the reminder 2y
Cinfhen And yes, I don‘t understand how adults can constantly ignore what‘s happening around them and just fail so miserably at protecting children @Suet624 2y
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Cinfhen
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Clwojick Woohoooo! Way to go! 💖 2y
53 likes1 comment
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mrozzz
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Wow. Fabulous writing from Leve describing the bizarre relationship with her eccentric artistic mother as a child and as an adult. Her father moved to Bali when she was a child so her mom relied on young Ariel as if she were the adult. With the time separating her from her past, and a good therapist, she realizes that the inappropriate behavior on her mother‘s part remodeled her brain to cause brain trauma. It‘s fascinating while off-putting.

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EvieBee
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Realizing that I've only read one nonfiction book this year so far! It was a library book so can't post a pic of it. So opted for this memoir which I loved! A little creepy but beautifully written. Read it late last year. #RecentNonFictionRead #MarchIntoReading

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Dorianna
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Ariel Leve's memoir delves into her relationship with her abusive mother and the people and experiences that helped her eventually create her own life. Leve's writing is beautiful and brutally honest. You can't help but feel pain when she talks about her struggles with her mother. And you feel the sense of stability and peace when she talks about the stabilizing people in her life. It's a sigh of relief as you see the author claim her freedom. ⬇️

Dorianna Audiobook fans: Martha Plimpton is an amazing narrator. I highly recommend the audio version of this. 7y
charl08 Beautiful (though heartbreaking) quote. 7y
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Dorianna
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Ariel Leve's childhood and relationship with her mother is completely dysfunctional, so it's soothing when she switches to stories about her simple and peaceful existence with Mario, who doesn't need a living room. 😂

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Dorianna
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My morning listen. So far Ariel Leve's memoir switches between being disturbing and comforting and Martha Plimpton is an excellent narrator.

Foxyfictionista I love Martha Plimpton. Goonies never say die! 7y
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CCaine
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Wonderful memoir. Real, rich, smart, beautifully written. Don't miss this. I couldn't put it down.

EvieBee I agree wholeheartedly! I listened to the audiobook. 7y
4 likes1 comment
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Literanista
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"Likeable people don't warehouse acrimony and bitterness" What a powerful book!