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Endnotes: An Intimate Look at the End of Life
Endnotes: An Intimate Look at the End of Life | Ruth Ray
1 post | 1 read
In the summer of 1996, Ruth Ray, a gerontologist in her forties, befriended an eighty-two-year-old man suffering from Parkinson's. The two remained close until the end of his life, sharing stories and memories while building a deep relationship. Part memoir, part biography, Endnotes explores how people construct meaning through their interactions with others. With grace and wit, Ray situates her friend's past experiences and present relationships within the theories and literature of gerontology, providing a deeper understanding of autonomy at the end of life. She also delves into the complexities of sexuality and intimacy in old age, communication across disabilities and age groups, the disabling nature of nursing homes, and the trials of death and dying. Writing as both a woman and a gerontologist, Ray finds that the "quality of care" we provide for others requires not only an understanding of the relationships that have given a person's life meaning but also a willingness to accept and share deeply in the emotional process of physical and mental decline.
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Anna40
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Mehso-so

Ray met Paul when she led a writing workshop at his nursing home.The two fell in love&despite the age difference(she was in her forties,Paul in his eighties) &his health issues (Parkinson‘s disease),they started a relationship.The memoir/love story is framed by what reads like a research paper on gerontology.The writing is ok but not good.I really grapple with how the love story unfolds,not because of the age

Anna40 age difference but because the love proclamation comes so fast&out of the blue (they had only spent a few hours together) that it‘s hard to believe it‘s sincere. I also don‘t think the book succeeds in addressing issues of resident needs in nursing facilities. But I guess it‘s not my place to judge their relationship. (edited) 3w
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