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Despite an unpresidented lack of access to Chump's house, investigative journalist Martha Skewermann recounts the unbelievable story behind the ethical and ego-less, yet tragically star-crossed, civic leader Mayor Ronnie Chump, one of the greatest unelected public officials since Dinsdale Piranha.Following the butt-clenching events of the 2016 mayoral election,seasoned scribbler Martha Skewermann takes the reader on a thrilling journey through the politics of Washintown. She thus relives the tale of how the inimitable Chump - the world's kindest and most inclusive politician - had the unexpected misfortune of accidentally torching his new white house while preoccupied with the welfare of others and caring for the underprivileged in his community.In this literally incendiary exposé, Skewermann reveals for the first time:* What Chump's wife really thinks of him* Why Chump allowed his private parts to be wired up to a polygraph by former mayor Barry Kabana* Why Chump hired disbarred IBS doctor Jeb Goney, despite Goney's criminal past* Why chief strategy director Stevie Bunyon and Chump's daughter-in-law Janey Kushynird fostered a giant crush for one another* How Chump devised a strategy after Stevie Bunyon was hired* What is the secret to getting Chump to be quiet* What the Chump administration has in common with the movie AliensNo mayor has ever united his people in grief so spectacularly. With a threadbare plot, a brilliantly formatted Contents page and a cast of the only the best people, Martha Skewermann's Dire and Puny captures the pungent, smocky essence of the Chump administration. It will subject your sphincters to the ultimate stress-test.