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High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out
High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out | Amanda Ripley
2 posts | 4 read | 3 to read
When we are baffled by the insanity of the "other side"--in our politics, at work, or at home--it's because we aren't seeing how the conflict itself has taken over. That's what "high conflict" does. It's the invisible hand of our time. And it's different from the useful friction of healthy conflict. That's good conflict, and it's a necessary force that pushes us to be better people. High conflict, by contrast, is what happens when discord distills into a good-versus-evil kind of feud, the kind with an us and a them. In this state, the normal rules of engagement no longer apply. The brain behaves differently. We feel increasingly certain of our own superiority and, at the same time, more and more mystified by the other side. New York Times bestselling author and award-winning journalist Amanda Ripley investigates how good people get captured by high conflict--and how they break free. Our journey begins in California, where a world-renowned conflict expert struggles to extract himself from a political feud. Then we meet a Chicago gang leader who dedicates his life to a vendetta--only to find himself working beside the man who killed his childhood idol. Next, we travel to Colombia, to find out whether thousands of people can be nudged out of high conflict at scale. Finally, we return to America to see what happens when a group of liberal Manhattan Jews and conservative Michigan corrections officers choose to stay in each other's homes in order to understand one another better. All these people, in dramatically different situations, were drawn into high conflict by similar forces, including conflict entrepreneurs, humiliation, and false binaries. But ultimately, all of them found ways to transform high conflict into something good, something that made them better people. They rehumanized and recatego-rized their opponents, and they revived curiosity and wonder, even as they continued to fight for what they knew was right. People do escape high conflict. Individuals--even entire communities--can short-circuit the feedback loops of outrage and blame, if they want to. This is a mind-opening new way to think about conflict that will transform how we move through the world.
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LisaLovesToRead
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This book gets you thinking and offers some practical means of challenging one‘s own behavior & interacting more productively with others. My only gripe was that Ripley overused the term crockpot, but that is me being picky. Overall, I would recommend.

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underground_bks
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*FREE ON LIBRO.FM THIS MONTH* In this highly relevant read, journalist and certified mediator Amanda Ripley explores, through several fascinating true stories and interviews, how we get locked into “high conflict,” the kind where the conflict itself has taken over…and how to get ourselves out and back to the healthy kind of conflict that can actually effect change. An easy and engaging listen and a personally challenging read!

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